June 2015

Hello readers! I'm very glad you're all still enjoying my little brain droppings. I've updated my profile with the latest on my fanfic writing, and some new links to my other nooks around the 'Net. Please check it out and thanks for reading!

Here we have the first meeting between the anti-fairies and Tabby. I have another story I may or may not finish with them, but this is the one that started it all.

FOP doesn't belong to me.

"Ready or not, here I come!" Cosmo called out as he uncovered his eyes. Silence greeted him from the rest of the house and he frowned. They were playing hide-and-seek and he was 'it'. He hated being 'it'. That meant he had to be all by himself as he searched through the whole big house—a house just chock full of hiding spaces—for the girls. Oh well. At least he only had to find Wanda and Tabby.

The little green haired fairy checked beneath the kitchen table and inside the pantry as he floated around the kitchen. Finding neither his wife nor his godchild, he next checked the living room, then the dining room. As he was about to check the bathroom, a faint giggle floated downstairs. He smiled.

"Aha!" he whispered as he headed upstairs. "Gotcha Tabby!"

Still smiling, Cosmo topped the stairs and turned into the main hallway, where he discovered his goddaughter standing out in the open, looking up toward the ceiling. Cosmo uttered a short laugh.

"Found ya!" he said, tickling her from behind. "Boy, Tabby the middle of the hallway isn't a very good hiding spot. I found you easy!" When she didn't respond, he floated in front of her and looked at her questioningly. "Tabby?" Still puzzled, Cosmo turned and followed her gaze. "What are you—"

The thought and the question ended abruptly as Cosmo gasped and jerked back, knocking his goddaughter over in the process and landing on top of her.

"Wh-What are YOU doing here?" he stammered nervously, and vaguely wished he had found Wanda first. The newcomer smiled stiffly.

"Cosmo, my dim-witted counterpart, how are you?" Anti-Cosmo cheerfully called in his prim and proper English accent. His green haired double smiled weakly.

"Oh, you know," Cosmo said with a shaky laugh. "Uh, fine. H-How're you? That new fagiggly gland working okay for ya?" His dark doppelganger waved a dismissive hand.

"Oh, quite well," Anti-Cosmo replied, floating lower to properly face Cosmo. His face contorted into a wider smile as he tried to exude friendliness. "Although it does tend to act up every now and then, causing me to be good and do something nice for someone. It can be quite bothersome, really!"

Cosmo laughed weakly. "Oh, that's too bad."

"Yes, it most certainly is," the dark fairy said as he reached a hand out toward Cosmo, who flinched slightly. "Please, allow me to assist you to your feet."

Cosmo looked back and forth between the hand offered to him and the face of his duplicate. Anti-Cosmo was actually smiling, an action that must have been causing him quite a bit of pain by the look of it, and the question of 'why he was there' fell by the wayside as 'why was he trying to be nice' replaced it.

Anti-Cosmo's face felt so foreign to him, being twisted into such an unnatural shape as a smile. He ground his teeth as he wondered just how much longer he could hold it, and why in the bloody blue blazes his idiotic double was simply staring at him like that. Sure it was a shock to see an anti fairy—not to mention an evil genius such as himself—offering to help someone up, but please. This was COSMO. Exactly how long did it take for him to forget his suspicions and actually move?

When another few seconds passed and Cosmo still hadn't moved, Anti-Cosmo had all but decided to grab for his wand and turn the twit into a cockroach—one he would take great pleasure in grinding into the carpeting—until the green haired fairy slowly reached forward with a shaky hand.

"Well, oka—"

"You're heavy! Get off!" Tabby cried angrily, giving her godfather a hard shove. He flew forward and smacked into Anti-Cosmo, who gave a startled cry as they both tumbled to the ground in a tangled heap.

"OOF!" the dark fairy uttered as Cosmo squirmed on top of him. "She's right! You ARE heavy!"

"I'm sorry!" Cosmo cried, trying to untangle himself. "Please don't kill me!"

"Cosmo, you ignorant boob! I'm not here to kill you!" With a strained cry, Anti-Cosmo pushed his twin off of him and took to the air once more. "There," he said as he straightened his jacket. "That's so much better." Cosmo also resumed floating, and offered Anti-Cosmo a questioning glance.

"So, if you're not here to kill me, then why ARE you here?" he asked, his earlier nervous fear forgotten.

Anti-Cosmo paused, and calmly removed his monocle to polish it gently with a cloth from his pocket. He could feel two sets of eyes watching him, but felt no urge to hurry. Evil geniuses, after all, lived by their own timetable.

"He looks like you," Tabby said suddenly before Anti-Cosmo could open his mouth. Cosmo turned to his goddaughter with a sharp jerk, and the dark fairy noticed with an amused smile that his simple counterpart had apparently forgotten the girl was even there.

"Tabby!" Cosmo cried, a hand clutching his chest dramatically. "Jeez! You scared me! How long have you been there?" The girl rolled her eyes and Anti-Cosmo had to chuckle to himself. Even a child of 6 tired of Cosmo's idiocy.

"I was here when you got here, remember?" she asked, hands on hips. "How come he looks like you? But . . . different?"

"That's AC," her godfather said, waving a hand in the dark fairy's direction. "He's just like me, but exactly the opposite!" His goddaughter gave him a confused glance.

"Opposite?"

"Uh huh," Cosmo said, his long bangs bouncing excitedly as he nodded. "That means he's smart, and he washes behind his ears, and eats all his vegetables!"

"EWWW!" goddaughter and godfather exclaimed together as Anti-Cosmo sighed and replaced his monocle. Cosmo was apparently a bad influence on the girl.

"All right, yes, ewww," Anti-Cosmo said with an eye roll as he floated toward the two. "What Cosmo is trying to say, my dear, is that I am his exact counterpart. The Yang to his Yin, the dark to his light." They both stared at him, confused. He sighed. "He's good, I'm bad." Understanding flooded their features, but hers quickly filled with worry.

"Bad?" she whispered, moving behind her godfather. Cosmo quickly whirled around and assumed a menacing stance.

"That's right, Tabby!" he said in a low voice. "He's bad, and if you don't watch out, he'll fly inside your head and lay eggs in your brain!" He followed this warning up with a maniacal laugh as the girl covered her ears and whimpered.

"I don't want eggs in my brain!" she cried as tears leaked from her eyes. Anti-Cosmo reached forward and slapped his double on the back of the head before he knew he was moving.

"Cosmo, you're frightening the poor girl!" Anti-Cosmo hissed as he flew before the child. She stayed where she was but watched him with large, scared eyes. "Don't be alarmed my dear, I shan't harm you. I'm merely here to see what lovely child my counterpart has been given the good fortune of godparenting!" Tabby slowly dropped her hands, her brow creasing slightly.

"Really?" she and her godfather asked together. Anti-Cosmo nodded, a pleasant smile upon his lips. As long as Cosmo kept quiet and offered no further distractions, he would have this child trusting him completely in another two minutes.

"Certainly," he said soothingly. "Tabitha, is it?" She nodded slowly. "Well, it is a great pleasure to meet you. I'm . . . well, you could say I'm like your godfather's brother!"

"Brother?" the little girl asked as Cosmo's face lit up.

"Hey, that's right!" he cried with a wide smile on his face, and threw his arms around his newfound 'brother'. "You ARE kinda like my brother! Yay! I have a brother! Wait 'til Mama finds out!"

The little girl looked back and forth between the two Cosmo's not quite sure what to make of things. The darker fairy sure looked like her godfather, even if he was all dark blue and had little bat wings instead of soft, shimmery wings like Cosmo. And he had a little bowler hat instead of a crown and wore a monocle. He talked funny and had little pointy teeth, and didn't seem to have a wand like her godfather, either, at least not that Tabby could see. But, his eyes were the same shade of green as Cosmo's and her godfather seemed comfortable with him now, so Tabby supposed he mustn't be too bad. They were even hugging!

"Yes, yes," Anti-Cosmo said as he attempted to pry the green haired fairy from around his neck. "It's all wonderfully delightful, now will you please . . . if you could just . . . COSMO THAT'S ENOUGH!"

Cosmo immediately released his 'brother' and jumped back, a blush working its way across his cheeks.

"Sorry," Cosmo said quietly, a shy smile curling his lips.

"Oh, it's quite all right, my colorful counterpart. Quite all right indeed," the dark fairy said lightly as he floated down to the girl again. "Now then, allow me to properly introduce myself, my dear. I am Anti-Cosmo, and I'm very pleased to meet you." He bent into a slight bow and the girl giggled.

"Auntie Cosmo?" she said, covering her mouth with her hands as she giggled again. "But you're a boy!"

For a second, Anti-Cosmo didn't know what she was talking about. He straightened, his face twisted by confusion. Tabby merely stared back at him, an amused smile on her lips.

"OH!" he cried suddenly, finally comprehending the miscommunication. "No, no, dear, not ON-TEE, ANT-EYE. It means 'opposite'."

"Oh," she said quietly, letting his explanation sink in. "ANT-EYE." The dark fairy nodded.

"Correct." Tabby frowned.

"But HE'S Cosmo!" she cried, pointing to her green haired godfather. "You can't be Cosmo too!"

"Oh, crumpets," Anti-Cosmo sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose with a finger and thumb. A headache was forming, he could feel it. Cosmo smiled and looked at his goddaughter.

"Just call him Uncle AC," he told her, much to Anti-Cosmo's surprise. It was a decidedly familial term, and the dark fairy was unsure how to react to it.

"Yes, eh, th-that will do nicely," he stammered, his trademark calm suddenly thrown askew. "U-uncle AC."

"Uncle Acie!" Tabby cried happily and threw her arms around her new 'uncle' in a tight hug.

Seconds passed, and Anti-Cosmo could do nothing but stare down at the little girl hugging him. Why wasn't Cosmo stopping her? A quick glance gave him his answer, as Cosmo munched noisily on a cheese sandwich he must have conjured up for himself. He glanced at Anti-Cosmo and smiled, revealing teeth with little bits of toasted bread stuck between them. The dark fairy curled his lip in disgust, and Cosmo shrugged, his attention quickly returning to the sandwich.

Anti-Cosmo eventually managed to pull an arm free and patted Tabby on the head, a crooked smile curling his lips. Things were going better than he had hoped, but it was time to move things long. He worried that Wanda would appear at any moment, probably forcibly ejecting him from the house immediately afterward.

"Yes, yes, Uncle AC," he said as the girl released him enough to look up at him. "There now, we're all friends, right? Of course we are! How would you like to come and visit with your dear old uncle for a while, Tabitha? We'll have oodles of fun!" She looked unsure for a moment, and glanced back at her godfather, who was busy finishing off the last of his sandwich.

"Daddy-Cosmo?" she called nervously. He glanced up at his name and frowned. Although he may not have been paying much attention to the two of them the past few minutes, he knew his goddaughter and didn't like the look on Tabby's face. He flew forward, wiping his mouth with his sleeve.

"Hey, what's going on here!" he said, taking Tabby's arm and pulling her toward him. "Leggo!" Anti-Cosmo held fast to the girl's other arm and pulled her back.

"Really, Cosmo old bean! I dare say you're overreacting! I merely asked if the darling child would like to visit with her devoted uncle!"

"Who you calling a bean?!" Cosmo yelled back as he yanked Tabby toward him again. "And she doesn't look like she really wants to go with you!"

"Perhaps she DOES and she was simply asking for your permission to go!" Anti-Cosmo countered, pulling the girl his way.

"How do YOU know?" Another yank in Cosmo's direction.

"Perhaps we should ask Tabitha what SHE would like, hmm?" The dark fairy moved close to the child and offered her the warmest smile he could muster, which was about as warm as Antarctica. But she smiled back—however weak—so it did the trick. "Tabitha, my dear, would you like to visit with me for a while?"

"Tabby, you don't have to go if you don't want to!" Cosmo told her, accidentally tightening his grip on her arm in his panic. Things were going very wrong, very quickly, and he had never wished that Wanda were around more than he did at that moment. Tabby winced at his iron grip.

"OW! Cosmo, let GO!" she cried, and Cosmo immediately released her, his face a mask of worry at hurting her. Unfortunately, letting go allowed Anti-Cosmo to pull her into his arms entirely, and he smiled as he pulled out a black wand.

"Ha HA!" he laughed as the wand glowed slightly. "She said GO, so we GO! Ta ta!" And before Cosmo could make a move, Anti-Cosmo and Tabby disappeared in a puff of dark smoke.

Cosmo stared at the spot they had been for a minute before he began to shake violently.

"Oohhh, I'm in so much trouble . . ." he whimpered, slowly floating backwards out of the hallway. "I think I should find a good place to hide for a while . . ."

"Cosmo?" an annoyed voice called from directly behind him. He cried out and spun around to see his wife glaring at him.

"Oh, h-hey, honey," he stammered, offering her a weak smile. She raised an eyebrow and planted her hands on her hips.

"What are you doing?" she asked impatiently. "We were playing a game, remember? You're supposed to find Tabby and me. I've been hiding in the bedroom closet for nearly 20 minutes!"

"Oh, uhh, I found Tabby and . . ." Sweat began to bead on his forehead. 'And' what? His mind was a complete blank. Oh how he wished he were smarter!

"You found Tabby?" his wife asked, glancing around the hallway. "Well, where is she? And why do you look so nervous?"

"N-no reason," Cosmo said with a weak smile. Wanda's arms moved from her hips to cross in front of her chest.

"Cosmo, come on. Where's Tabby?"

"Heh, w-with her . . . uncle?" he said, his voice shaky. Wanda frowned.

"Cosmo, neither of us has a brother, and her parents only have sisters," she reminded him, floating closer and conjuring her wand. She narrowed her eyes at him. "What happened? Where's Tabby?"

Cosmo swallowed hard, his eyes darting between his wife's burning glare and the wand she held tightly in her fist. He couldn't lie to her, he had always been horrible at lying—especially to Wanda—so he decided that the grown up man thing to do would be to tell the truth. Just calmly tell her what had happened. It really wasn't his fault, Anti-Cosmo had tricked them. Cosmo had actually tried to STOP his dark double from taking Tabby. Wanda couldn't get mad at him if he tried to stop the abduction, right? After all, that's what she herself would have done, had she been there.

Yeah, that's the ticket. Just take a deep breath and calmly explain to Wanda exactly what happened.

Cosmo closed his eyes, inhaled deeply and opened his mouth.

"IT WASN'T MY FAULT!" he sobbed, throwing himself onto his wife. "Anti-Cosmo appeared and starting talking all fancy and confused me and said he was my brother and Tabby said he wasn't a girl and then I said he was her uncle and I tried to stop him but he tricked me and then they just disappeared!" He clutched his wife tightly as he sobbed, wetting her shirt with a flood of tears. "I didn't know what to do! He was talking so nice and seemed friendly enough! HE TRICKED ME!"

He probably would have kept on like that for who knows how long if a hand hadn't suddenly closed around his throat.

"Let me get this straight," Wanda growled through gritted teeth. "Anti-Cosmo, the evil anti-fairy genius who escaped after you two had your fagiggly glands transplanted into each other, and has managed to evade capture for all this time, THAT Anti-Cosmo, was here." Cosmo managed a nod above his wife's fist. "And instead of calling me IMMEDIATELY upon his arrival, you and Tabby stood around and chatted with him." Another strained nod from her husband. "THEN he disappeared and took Tabby with him. Do I have that right?" Cosmo nodded again, a weak, shaky smile curling his lips.

"That about covers it," he croaked. Wanda's hair suddenly blazed into flame, and Cosmo cringed at the fury in her eyes.

"COSMO!" she bellowed, making him cry out in fear. "YOU JUST LET ONE OF THE MOST EVIL ANTI-FAIRIES IN EXISTANCE KIDNAP OUR GODDAUGHTER!" Her husband cowered in her grip, covering his head with shaky arms.

"I DIDN'T MEAN TO! It was an accident! I tried to stop him!"

Wanda raised her wand high above her head, and waved it angrily at her husband again and again and again. The green haired fairy changed forms quickly, becoming first a dung beetle, then a starfish, then an ant. Over and over he changed, transformed by his wife's wand as she flicked her arm up and down in rapid succession, releasing her anger in the safest, most non-lethal way she knew how.

The starry tip flashed like a strobe light, soon becoming nothing more than a constant glowing blur. Her hair slowly returned to its normal pink sheen when she finally stopped, mostly because her arm was becoming sore, and Cosmo cried out again as he fell out of the air. Changing shapes so rapidly was disorienting, and the world was spinning.

"Okay," she muttered, massaging her shoulder. "I feel a little better. But you're still going to be in SO much trouble when we find Tabby and have her home safe and sound!" He smiled and nodded wildly as he dizzily resumed flight.

"Right! Trouble later! Find Tabby now!" He paused, worry clouding his face. "But, uh, how exactly are we going to find them?"

"With help."

"Whose help?"

"The one fairy who oversees everything and everyone in Fairy World." Cosmo paled.

"Oh no!" he cried, chewing on his fingernails. "Not—"

"Yep," Wanda interrupted, raising her wand again. "We've gotta go see Jorgen. And explain to him how YOU screwed up." The green haired fairy screamed.

"Couldn't you just keep punishing me instead?" he asked as her wand glowed. With a sly smile, Wanda shook her head.

"'Fraid not. Jorgen needs to know about this."

"NOOOOOO!" Cosmo screamed as they disappeared in a puff of smoke. His terror filled cry echoed through the empty house long after the two fairies had vanished.