In Memory Of

A collection of shorts and one-shots in memory of the djinni we never met, Zeno. Critiques, comments, suggestions and ideas very welcome.

"We should've left hours ago."

"Says you."

"We should've. I hate waiting."

"Really? I'm rather in love with it."

"Because you're a coward."

"…shut up."

"Nice comeback."

"No, seriously! Shut up! Look!"

Two salamanders simultaneously ducked as an eagle passed above them.

"What was it?"

"Dunno. Don't want to know."

"Oh, come on. We could've taken it."

"We? What's this "we"? You could've taken it where ever you wanted, but don't think you're counting me in."

"Coward."

"Shut up."

"Cow. Ward. You are a coward."

"And you are a gung-ho, egotistical, devil-may-dare idiot. Some of us have a feeling of self value, you know."

"Self value's no fun."

"Are you kidding? I love self value."

The salamanders fell silent. The larger of the two shifted uncomfortably. "We should've left---"

"I don't want to hear it again, Zeno! There's no rush."

"They'll already be gone by the time we get there if we stick around too mu---"

"Fine then! If you're in such a rush, then go! Leave!"

"…I don't want to leave you all by yourself, Bartimaeus."

"Well, that's very sweet, but I can live without your concern."

"But I'm very concerned. If I leave you to yourself, you'll never go to the battle, will you? Will you?"

"Not 'til I'm summoned, no. That's natural."

"It's cowardly."

"Who cares? Only you, Zeno!"

"We'll miss it if we keep sitting here!"

"Why are you so eager? There'll be plenty more."

"Well, yes, but…."

"But what?"

"But I want to see…"

There was a long, uncomfortable pause.

"See what?"

"Nobody."

"Oh, it's a person?"

"No!"

"It is. Wonder who?"

"It's nobody!"

"That 'nobody' business may have worked for Odysseus with the Cyclops, but it's not going to work for you with me. Who's this person?"

"…not a person…"

"What do you mean, not a---OH!"

The larger salamander was beginning to look a little scared. "What?"

"Not a person, eh? Well, that makes it one of us, then, doesn't it?"

"What? No!"

"Uh-huh. Wonder who it could be? Come on, give us a clue. Do I know him?"

"No!"

"Sure, sure I don't. Let's see, who could---"

"Hey! You two!"

The two salamanders glanced over their shoulders. The smaller one groaned. "Oh, not you."

An eagle hopped triumphantly towards the pair.

"Thought you were going to skip out, eh?"

"I wanted to go, Queezle. Really," The larger salamander said defensively. "He wouldn't let me."

"I told you to go if you wanted!" The other salamander snapped.

The eagle shook its head, smiling a little. "Pathetic, the pair of you. Anyway, it's been cancelled. Hadn't you noticed how no one had summoned you?"

The larger lizard's jaw dropped. The smaller one danced with glee.

"But why?" The larger one whined. "The army---and the battlefield! A battlefield to die for---"

"You sick, warmongering little fiend," The smaller salamander chided. "This is a cause for celebration! Ah, glorious day…"

"Why are you so happy?" The eagle asked pleasantly. "It's not cancelled for good. They've set up a treaty for now, and you know how those things go. And you haven't been dismissed, have you?"

The smaller salamander stopped dancing. "Don't spoil this for me, Queezle," it said darkly. "I'm actually happy, for once. Why can't you just let me be happy?"

"Because you won't be happy in a minute. They want us to scout for now, so you might as well stay here."

"Stay?" The larger salamander moaned. "Where are you going?"

"Spreading the word," The eagle shrugged. "To those that are still around to spread it to. Do you know, they dismissed quite a few of us."

"They did?" The smaller salamander gasped. "Then why am I still here?"

"It's a mystery," The larger salamander nodded. "Considering the pain you've been making of yourself."

"I can't believe it didn't work," The smaller salamander agreed seriously. "After all my hard work!"

"I've got to go," The eagle announced pointedly. "Try not to start anything."

"Don't worry, ma'am! I'll make sure young Zeno here behaves!" The smaller salamander saluted.

"Actually, I was more referring to Zeno about you," The eagle winked at the larger salamander. "G'bye, then."

The salamanders waved her off with their tails.

The smaller salamander turned to the larger salamander.

"Well, that wasn't a complete waste then, was it?"

"What do you mean?"

The smaller salamander winked. "You still got to see that person you wanted to see so badly."