Bittersweet Reminiscence: Chapter 6
Mysteries
A/N: Here we have another update, people! Enjoy!
"Why don't I dream of you when you're away, Yuna? I wouldn't be as lonely then."
She smiled. "We hardly ever dream of what we want…rather, we usually always dream of what we're afraid of."
Tell me, Yuna…is that why I always see you leaving for the Farplane and leaving me behind?
If that be the case, then I'd rather not sleep at all.
Beautiful orbs of light danced around her pale, unmoving figure as their cries echoed off the walls of the small room. The woman's jeweled eyes were sealed shut and her mocha tresses were strewn about her head in a rather chaotic manner. Her skin— usually warm and coloured— was now starch white and cold to the touch. She remained where she had fallen; amongst the dark and dirty debris surrounding what had once been the keeper of an aeon's soul. It had even been one of her aeons once, a pilgrimage that now seemed so long ago and hardly worth remembering. Now, it was the gateway to an abyss of the dead…where the souls of the departed roamed and the images of their former selves were summoned on a plane by their still grieving family.
To the normal bystander, the girl's body didn't seem to show any signs of life and perhaps would be considered dead save for the rather troubled and tense expression frozen in place on her facial features.
An even colder hand reached out to judge her condition, the fingers creeping slowly along her jaw-line and gingerly caressing her cheek. His touch was hesitant…regretful. He didn't want to do what he had already done…this girl had actually tried to save him from an eternal, unsent existence without his beloved…he didn't want to have to hurt her. But he wasn't ready to rest…he didn't want to…not when his life…and his lovers life had been taken away so cruelly. He wanted to live…he wanted his girlfriend to live…and this girl resting under his palm had tried to interfere. He tried to warn her—subtly at first…and then his final warning came with the death of her baby.
And she still didn't listen.
So now, here she was…unconscious…in a coma…almost dead. It was her fault…her own doing. He couldn't bring himself to simply kill her, though. Not when, only a year ago, she had risked everything to ensure his happiness. But he was just as ready to risk everything too…everyone on this continent…to ensure his plans for life were not interrupted. There was also something else preventing him from putting an end to her life, and it was a characteristic that he resented within himself. She looked so much like her…and he hated her for it…because it reminded him of just how much he wanted his girlfriend back…and just how impossible that was at this point. And while he may have shown mercy to one particular girl, he had absolutely no intention of being as 'polite' to others who may continue down the same, perilous path as she did.
He knew she was famous…and that soon, people would come looking for her. He knew she must have a lover…a husband who would be worried. But he had no intention of giving her back until he got what he wanted.
"I truly am sorry," he whispered to her still form as he gently cupped her cheek. The fact that he couldn't feel her skin because he was only a shadow on his former self did not escape his notice or, was it in anyway new to him.
But as he watched her face, he found himself suddenly angry. "It was your fault, you know. I didn't want to…but then you just kept…and even after I warned you not to…"
He involuntary winced when a loud boom echoed from somewhere above his head. Someone was coming down here he figured, and he couldn't afford letting them escape once they saw his 'guest.' He could here the footsteps now; walking swiftly with purpose…or perhaps fear. This person had been sent to reluctantly investigate he presumed, yet he did not know who had sent him. He was in control here; he preoccupied the mind of the one who ran this place. He was momentarily puzzled, but then decided an instant later that it didn't matter…
Because he would die anyway.
He turned to the High Summoner sprawled at his feet. "Excuse me," he offered in a mocking polite tone. "But I'm afraid I have to go and deal with our new visitor." He then passed through the already closed door to the small chamber and as soon as his presence dissipated from the room, only the small flickers of light emitting from the pyreflies stopped the young woman's body from being completely immersed in darkness.
"Rikku!" For the first time since I returned to Besaid, I didn't knock on Lulu and Wakka's door. Manners seemed to be the last thing on my mind. Clutching the elaborate box tightly, I carelessly flung aside the drapes hanging in various doorways throughout the house until I happened upon the kitchen and came across Rikku and Lulu sitting conventionally in the kitchen, chatting. The words rushed out of my mouth so fast, my head had a hard time keeping up with what I was saying.
"I found something! It's an advertisement from Djose Temple about pyreflies and machina—"
"What are you talking about? What's going on, Tidus?" Lulu interrupted, her eyes watching me carefully.
My jaw tightened instantly, fighting back the impulse to explain to her why I was so concerned about this stupid piece of paper. I didn't want Lulu to know Yuna was possibly in danger. It wouldn't bode well with her. My immediate instinct was to pretend to brush it all off as insignificant, but I knew she'd pick up on my lying—she was analyzing my expression too closely.
"Oh, goody! You found the advertisement? I've been looking for it everywhere!" Rikku suddenly jumped to her feet, a wide grin plastered on her face. The black mage only gave the blonde a skeptical look as the thief purposefully averted her gaze away from Lulu's eyes. "Now I can finally look into this job…Yunie did say she found me something I'd be interested in. Come on, Tidus—I'll talk to you about it back at your hut."
She grabbed my arm roughly and began tugging me towards the door. I was taken aback by how much strength someone so small could have; I was too busy watching Lulu and making sure she didn't cut me down for such an obvious and ridiculous aversion from the truth. But she didn't move and I could tell that she was puzzled by our behavior. I got the feeling that when Rikku had something to hide; her definition of 'act natural' was to take up eating grass and hope that no one would notice she was acting strange.
"Wait," Lulu called firmly. I froze, but Rikku managed to turn around to see Lulu's expression. I wonder what she looked like.
"Hmmm?" the young Al Bhed said casually.
"Good luck with your job application." Her voice was thick with implications and I knew then that she'd picked up that something was going on. No doubt she would do her best to find out later.
"Thanks."
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Rikku screamed once we were safely back inside my hut. "Did you want to die? Because honestly, Tidus…if you said just even one more word she would have been over you like a fiend!" She continued her angry pacing around the room, shooting me a death glare every now and then from the corners of her eyes.
I hung my head. "I'm sorry, Rikku. I'm just so…so worried about her…"
"So am I!" she screeched at such level, I wondered if the whole island hadn't heard her. I winced—I'd never heard Rikku this angry before. "Do you honestly believe that you're the only one who is?"
"Rikku! Calm down!" I hissed in warning, hoping that Yuna's adoptive mother didn't burst in through the front door any time soon.
"I won't just 'calm' down, Tidus!" She was facing me now; a furious fire burning in her green-swirled eyes. "You're just so…selfish sometimes! Both of you are!"
"What do you mean?" I snapped, momentarily forgetting that I shouldn't have been fighting with her, but the pang I felt at her accusation caused my temper to fire up.
She took a deep breath to compose herself, and I heard her struggle to use a more subdued tone. Her anger was reigned in, her voice tight. "You both just…shut everyone out," she said matter-of-factly, and her irritation grew when she saw that I looked like I didn't understand.
"I feel like…like ever since you got back a year ago you've both just cut me off—like I'm not important anymore. You never tell me anything! I mean, I had to find out from Baralai that Yuna lost the baby. Do you have any idea how much that hurt?"
"Rikku I—"
"Let me finish!" she snapped and I saw her fighting back the tears…she wanted me to listen. She looked away out the window, so I waited patiently to hear the rest.
"You've both obviously been having problems and you don't let us in. I'm not saying that you should tell us what's going on in your life every second of the day or anything…just that you shouldn't bottle it all up. I admit that I have no experience in relationships, but I'm here to talk to all the same. So are Wakka and Lulu, you know. You both just make me so frustrated…you know, with Yunie"—I felt a pang as she said her name, but ignored it—"I sometimes felt like I wasn't any use to her for anything other than running errands…and then there would be days when she'd come to work clearly distressed and I felt so useless because she wouldn't tell me anything."
Finally, Rikku's voice broke and the tears that she'd fought so hard against came loose; running small rivers down her flushed cheeks. "And you!" she croaked, pointing a shaky finger at my chest. "You're no better! Brushing me off all the time like I'd be no help…has the return of your Blitzball fame really made you that arrogant?"
I wanted to defend myself, but after looking her over, I decided it best to humor her just this once. The sacrifice of pride it entailed was nothing in comparison to losing Rikku as a friend…or so I thought.
"Probably," I sighed. Ouch.
She just stared at me, obviously not expecting me to say that at all. "Well it's the truth," she muttered while rubbing her eyes.
"Yeah well…I'm talking to you know aren't I?" May as well try as scrounge back as much of my pride as I could…or what little there was left of it anyway.
"Only because I came to you first," she corrected. "I doubt you would have said anything to me otherwise." She had a moot point there, but I'd be damned if I was going to admit it.
"You can't know that," I said simply.
"So what did you find?" she asked in an off handed tone, throwing in the towel at the same time.
I looked down at my hands, only to realize that the advertisement was still lying balled up in my fist. I un-scrunched the paper and handed it to her. Her eyes darted over the text and a few seconds later she looked up at me with a puzzled expression. "I've seen these flyers outside Djose temple, but I don't understand why you think this is important."
"Look on the back," I offered, and watch her turn the paper over.
"'Kieka and 'Keiyakku'," she read out aloud, then her eyes widened in understanding, no doubt thinking what I was when I found it. "But Keiyakku's…"
"…Dead, I know," I finished for her.
"That's Yunie's writing too," she affirmed. I watched her run her fingers lightly over the crinkled paper; the clogs inconspicuously turning in her mind.
"What does that say, Rikku?"
"Hmmm?" she looked up at me, and I could tell that I had pulled her from another train of thought.
"I said, what does that say?"
"Oh…it talks about the new research project that Rin started up…they're looking for volunteers to help with the merging of machina and pyreflies."
"What?" the word seemed inadequate, but I didn't know what else to say…
"Haven't you heard? Rin has launched an investigation on how we could eventually use the Farplane to power cites and such. I don't understand it all myself, but it's something to that effect."
I nodded distractedly, trying to figure out where I had heard something similar to that before. I didn't get a chance to dwell on it much, because Rikku interrupted with another question.
"Hey, Ti?" I was sort of listening, but not really.
"Yeah?"
"Why was Yunie upset a couple of days ago? Actually, she's been upset for sometime…do you know why?"
I knew that Rikku had caught me in a vulnerable moment and was trying to take advantage of it, yet I answered regardless. "We were fighting because…because she doesn't tell me what she's going through," my voice was barely audible and I noticed Rikku lean in slightly to catch my words. "She doesn't talk about work, and I just wanted to know why…she's out to protect everyone she can, but she doesn't understand that it leaves her exposed to danger."
"That's Yunie, alright," Rikku said with a sad smile.
"I don't know what to do with her! She won't let me in, and it's infuriating!" In the heat of the moment, I briskly knocked her box from the table; watching the objects and papers inside fly about the room as the box clattered open and empty of the floor. I threw my head into my hands, breathing deeply. "Sometimes, I swear she thinks I don't care…but it's not that—I'm just reckless and stupid."
"Yes you are," Rikku agreed with a giggle that lacked amusement.
'Yes I am…'
"Tidus!" Yuna exclaimed, and I heard her running through the house to find me.
"I'm in here!" I called back, folding the last of my clothes and placing them in the bag on our bed before zipping it up tightly. Another Blitzball tournament to attend, and another trophy to win…crowds cheering, autographs to sign…I was pretty psyched up.
"There you are!" she beamed, her eyes glittering brightly with happiness. I looked up and smiled back in an equally good mood…but then I watched as it was all washed from her face in an instant and replaced with one of reserve and worry. I followed her gaze and saw it fixed on our bed or more specifically…
My travel bag.
"Where are you going?" she asked in a tone that I couldn't quite decipher—it was a mixture of anger and surprise. It caught me off guard because there was only ever one reason why I had it out. "Blitzball," I answered anyway, and gave her a confused look as to why she would ask such an obvious question.
"But you told me the game was next week, not today." She was definitely angry.
I shrugged. "Oh, Lenny told me that it was re-scheduled to today because someone else had booked the stadium for next week."
"What about the party today? The whole village has been planning it for days…and I have a surprise remember?"
"Oh yes, you're big announcement that you won't even tell me about," I'd meant to sound playful, but somehow bitterness crept into my voice.
"But I need you today," she said simply and I heard all too clearly the pleading in her voice. But if I stayed home, we'd be disqualified from the tournament which was not an option. When I didn't answer, her words whipped out low and harsh. "Wakka's staying, you know—Lulu wanted him to."
"Well then that means I'll definitely have to go if he's staying behind…why is he, exactly?"
Her expression was unfathomable. "Because I wanted him to—I want all my family here today. Rikku, Paine, Brother, Buddy, Shinra and Cid are all going to be here too."
"Oh? Well with all them, I can hardly see why you would need me," I said while picking up my bag.
"Please, Tidus…please stay," she begged and I saw she was on the verge of tears. I just didn't understand—it was just a party, after all…nothing new on Besaid, we had them all the time.
I dropped my bag and went over to where she was standing in the doorway, wrapped my arms around her back and drew her in, kissing her hair. I heard her sniff and pulled her back to look at her face. She purposefully averted her gaze to the floor and I was suddenly curious as to what had triggered these mood swings.
"Tell me what's wrong," I whispered, still trying to meet her eyes.
She ignored me. "Tidus…can't you stay just this once?"
"But we've been training for this for months; we can't just throw it away for a party."
"It's not just a party!" she protested, crudely shoving me away. "This is a very important gathering—particularly for you!"
"What in the world are you talking about?" I picked my bag up again, "we have parties here all the time, and it's not like it's my birthday or anything, so why all the fuss?"
"Why can't you listen to me?"
"You don't understand what you're asking me to do!"
"I just want you to stay—I need you more than anything today, it's really important to me." She ran to me then, throwing her arms around my torso and burying her face in my chest. I stood there, unmoving for a moment before I pulled her back to give her a quick peck on the cheek. "Tell me about everything when I get back, alright? I love you."
And I left. When I came back the two days later, I was in a foul mood. We had lost the tournament to the Luca Goers and my mind was in hysterics. The whole time I couldn't stop thinking about Yuna, and why she had behaved that way. I didn't understand, and I was angry—angry because I'd lost, and angry because I was angry…
"Yuna?" I called when I opened the door. The house was silent; which was what I was expecting…sort of. I walked through the usual rooms, navigating my way through to the bedroom. That was when I saw her lying on our bed, curled up with her back to me. I sighed as I slumped onto the mattress, dropping my bag at my feet. As I eased my boots off; I noticed numerous, brightly colored boxes at the end of our bed. They were presents, obviously, but the wrapping hadn't been touched at all.
"Hey," I said. She didn't answer.
"How was the party?" Still didn't answer and I knew she wasn't asleep.
"We lost the game by the way." Nothing.
"Fine," I snapped, rising to my feet. "I'll be out in the kitchen if you decide I'm worth talking to."
"Don't you want to know?" she said suddenly when I was just about to walk out.
I turned around and walked back over to the bed and sat down. "Know what?"
"What my surprise is…" she said nonchalantly. She shrugged it off, like it had lost all of its importance and mystery now…as if it didn't mean anything to her.
"Of course I do," I said as cheerfully as I could.
She turned then to meet my face. I was surprised by her apathetic expression, but once again it was her eyes that gave her away—they were full of uncertainty, anger and sadness; a dark contrast to the look on her face.
It was only after she had spoken, did I understand the uncertainty in her eyes.
"I'm pregnant."
"Are you going to help me clean this up or not?" Rikku asked, snapping me out of my reverie. I looked down to see her stacking papers and neatly re-arranging objects. I sighed as I bent down to help her with the mess, not really paying attention to what I was doing when the hard cover of book fell under my palm. I picked it up to examine it, only to find that it was a diary. It was more the shock of actually finding it that prevented me from saying anything to Rikku at first. Yuna had told me that she hated the things and never kept one. Figured though; something else that she conveniently forgot to mention.
As I ran my fingers over the dark leather cover, a small, white piece of paper slipped out, and I immediately picked it up and began to read it.
Moral Dilemma here…
The one person I want to tell the most about what's been going on in my job, is the one that I can never tell. I made a promise that I would protect him from the dangers that so constantly seem to follow me and I must honor that promise. I know I make him worry because I'm so tight-lipped about everything. I even make him angry, though his anger is understandable.
I received a love letter today from a five-star pervert who I've cold bloodedly led on—I stole something from him. And what's worse is that I've made him a vile promise that I have every intention of breaking. I really hate to think about how much it would hurt Tidus if he knew. I've violated our relationship in the most horrible way…and my end justifies the means? I need this creep to blackmail Baralai and the horrible thing controlling him…yet I don't know if I can reach him anymore; he is lost to his own guilt—a guilt that was resolved and yet he continues to mourn the loss of his life. He was never able to protect the one he loved, and so I must do what he could not. I must fight back my selfish craving for peace of mind just a little longer…when everything is resolved I can then pour my heart out to him, just like I've wanted to do ever since I met him across the campfire all those years ago.
"Whatcha readin' there Ti?"
"Huh?" I looked up to see Rikku right in my face, and I instantly jumped back in surprise.
"You look kinda sad…everything okay?" she asked in genuine concern, although there was humor deep in her eyes.
"Everything's great Rikku," I smiled with some effort as I placed the paper and the diary on the floor beside me. "I was just thinking about some stuff, that's all."
I picked up the letter and handed it to Rikku, and she was surprised when I did it. "Remember? We're past all the evasion now."
She smiled as she took it, and for the rest of the day we discussed the possibilities of what our next move could be. It was just before she left; the sun having since long set, that the break Rikku and I had been hoping for appeared. The Commsphere started buzzing, the familiar sound of a transmission. I definitely wasn't expecting the news it conveyed though.
"Tidus, it's Baralai…we haven't been able to reach the passages under Bevelle for nearly three days now—around about the time your wife went down there to investigate some bizarre behavior." Rikku and I gulped as we watched his serious face. "I won't lie to you," he said softly, "but we fear for her life…something down there has her, and doesn't want us to go looking for her either."
My head started to spin and it was only when I drew in a ragged breath that I noticed that I had stopped breathing.
"How does he know all this?" Rikku asked hysterically, eyes glued to the screen.
As if to answer her question, he stepped aside, revealing a message written out in thin, spiny, red letters across the high-bridge—located directly in front of the entrance to Bevelle temple. I couldn't see Baralai any more, but his usually calm voice, tainted now by distress, carried easily to my ears. "We sent someone down to look for Lady Yuna yesterday. He didn't return. When I went to leave the temple to meet with someone, I found this…and the guard's body was found next to it," he finished grimly.
The warning read: 'Your precious High Summoner is safe…for now. If you want to see her alive again, don't interfere…or she will be killed.'
A/N: Sorry for the delay—I didn't count on a virus completely annihilating half of my word documents.
Chapter 7: 'Found' will be posted soon.
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