Disclaimer: ……… (the author glances nervously at the unholy priest who was aiming the machine gun side of the Punisher at her direction in one hand, and holding onto his patent crooked cigarette with the other; inhaling the nicotine smoke in this one of his really cool pose. The author would be swooning right now, if not for the deadly implement being pointed at HER HEAD…)

Uhhh… I humbly disclaim any rights on the characters I used in this fanfiction. Only borrowing them for a lil' bit… (and trails off, praying feverishly to any divine power up there for Vash to come and rescue her… But currently the Tongari is happily wolfing down some three dozen doughnuts Wolfwood conveniently bought before meeting the author…)

(Wolfwood raises his Punisher with the utmost grace to the air, away from the sniffing author, patting her on the head like a master would do to his dog) Good girl. Now help me put back the covering on this guy here. (and points down at a white sheet and numerous belts at his feet)

O.O … (and the author quietly assist the crouching preacher with the belts, wondering to herself how he could be doing this all the time…)

Spoilers: None, I believe… Maybe mangaverse. Coz Wolfwood ain't interested in Millie.

A/N: This is a prequel to 'A Reeeaaally Unexpected Question', a fic I wrote about a month ago. But a few days ago, I got an extra idea to add in. Then I thought, 'Hey, this is way too interesting to be put together in the same story!' So I spent a whole night writing this baby. A full SEVEN hours, mind you. Then I spent extra few hours the next few days revising, editing and adding some more juicy stuff. I'll be posting ARUQ in a week or two after this one, kay:)

Warnings: …err, Yaoi? (wat's so new bout dat?) Oh. And a bit too suggestive…

Ummm… This fic has … errr… hm… well… something not quite suitable for those underage, or those who are not interested in slash/Yaoi. I dun mind flames, but please dun bitch at me for ruining your innocence… (sweats)

Let the innocence-ruining fic begin! X3

--------------------------------

A Tasty Treat

--------------------------------

"Mmm…"

Licked here.

"Nnnh…"

Sucked there.

"Mmmph…"

And gulped.

Wolfwood has a bit of a blush on his face, panting.

He just had to control himself. Control is a virtue, control is a virtue, control is a virtue…

"Mmnnn…"

Vash was sensually licking onto the rod, slowly savoring the tasty treat.

"Nnmmmmm…."

Every now and then, he'd suck on it. Coaxing most of the moisture off from the surface.

"Aaahh…"

And a bit of teeth scraping here and there…

"Hmmm…"

Occasionally, he'd take brief pauses to wipe his face from the saliva that was dribbling off the sides of his mouth.

Then restarts the whole process all over again.

And it was driving Wolfwood to the brink of madness.

'You can do this, Nicholas D. Wolfwood! You've gone through torture much worst than this! You have your whole body operated on for God-knows how much by the Eye of Michael, gunned at by God-knows countless bullets, stumbling through scorching deserts without food or water for God-knows how long, being stuck in stupid fights with Tongari for God-knows until when…'

"Nnnngh…"

Wolfwood was close to tears by now. How the hell he was to control himself when the damn broom head was moaning and humming like that!

"Mmmnnnh…"

'He'd stop when he's got his fill. So Nicholas, pull yourself together until then… You can do it, man!'

"Aahhnnnn…"

Or not.

Wolfwood was now panting deeply and slowly, trying to keep in check. Cold sweat was dripping down his handsome visage. His head hanged low; a deep blush obscured by the shadow covering his face. His eyes drooping in concentration. Thank GOD it was VERY late at night, or else the broom-fuckin'-head will never let him forget this…

"Nnnnmmm…."

Now he's licking it from the base up to the tip.

"Mmm…"

Then sucked on the tip.

"Nnnnnh…"

He whirled his tongue around…

"Aaaah-mm…"

…and put in most of what he can into that sweet cavern of his.

Wow, that's deep…

Wolfwood gulped audibly, forcefully dragging his eyes from the extremely erotic view. As a priest, he should have very high tolerance to these kinds of tortures…right?

"Nnnngggh…"

His tormentor slowly sucked onto the long rod that was in his mouth – moaning when he was at it –, then pulled away just to the tip. Sucking a bit on the wetness that was gathering there, he took it deep again. And again. And again… Moving it in and out of his hot mouth. Repeatedly; for God-knows how many times …

How did Wolfwood know what the blond Adonis was doing? Well, he really can't stop from sneaking a quick look at the moaning Tongari from the corners of his eyes. (What was so quick about the look if he could describe the process quite descriptively…?)

"Mmmmm…."

By that point, Wolfwood really, really wanted to cry… He just can't take it ANYMORE…

'God, help me through this agonizing moment of my short life… What have I done to beget this punishment… …Okay, I may have murdered for half my life, been in bed with men and women… and musical instruments alike (once in a drunken stupor, I did a three-some; with Midvalley and that saxophone of his, Sylvia. One kinky bastard, I must say. But that's another story), and now falling for another man that may even be older than my grandpa! …Could this be implied as grand-cest? ('grandpa' plus 'incest') Oh God, please forgive your unprivileged, devoted servant…'

Right now, you could see tears of frustration coming down his face in shimmering little droplets of water.

At that precise moment, the sign of forgiveness from God came.

CRUNCH.

"Ah! Vash-san, you shouldn't be biting through it! You should be sucking it little by little!"

An oddly childish female voice chided the bite-offender.

"Well, I was getting tired of sucking… Can't I just munch on it a bit?"

Waving a finger like a mother disciplining her child, the girl reprimanded the sulking blond, "No. You mustn't be too greedy. You should keep some for later." Then smiled that patent cheerful grin of hers. "And we won't know if we will ever find this again! It is a limited-edition product from the famous Mama Gamma, after all!"

"…okay…"

The broom head pouted cutely in disappointment.

The preacher sighed long and hard in relief. 'Thank you, My Lord, for Your divine forgiveness and putting a stop to that ridiculous, but surprisingly ingenuous way of tormenting sex-deprived priests… Maybe I should have bought that Portable Confessional… '

The problem started when he was getting too… stimulated by the moaning elicited by the surprisingly sexy voice. His body was responding too well for his liking. Then things get a bit too out of control when he actually LOOKED at Tongari licking and sucking away.

At a candy cane.

A HUGE candy cane, mind you. Almost the size of his… you know… Where the hell the insurance girls got such a big stick of sweet, he had no idea. (Met them halfway to the next city. Tongari reckoned that it'll be too dangerous for two girls to camp outside, so he invited them to camp together. Always following the Humanoid Typhoon around, not thinking of the risk of traveling with the infamous Disaster on Legs… Can't they just give up?) Coincidentally, they bought four of the sugary rod; one distributed to each and every one of them. (Not that Wolfwood would be eating it, though. He'll keep it later for a much more… creative and exciting use for it. Concerning a certain blond and another inanimate object. Kinkiness IS contagious. Heh.)

The spiky boy was so thrilled, since he hadn't eaten any sweets for a very long time, he told his company excitedly. (The author wondered about the very-long-time thing: Did it involve human lifespan, or a Plant's?) Then Tongari proceeds to take off the plastic wrapping and started the whole God-damned ordeal; of him moaning uncontrollably while sucking and licking the sweet candy and the priest trying to keep every ounce of any holy control he had in order not to not do anything unholy. Like jumping him right there and then, in front of the insurance girls. It's not a very good exhibit for innocent young women to observe, you know.

"Ah, sempai…? Why is your face so red? Are you alright?"

"Oh, wha…? Umh, yeah… I'm alright, Millie…"

The midget girl with the dark hair jumped a little in her seat next to the big chick, and stuttering like a girl meeting her first crush. That blush of hers, which was pink enough for all of them to see even under the moderate illumination of their camp fire, got into a much deeper shade of red under the other three's scrutinizing gaze. Since she was sitting directly opposite to Tongari, with only the low flames separating them, she had a very CLEAR view of the extremely (e'hem) suggestive (cough) display.

Wolfwood raised an eyebrow in mild amusement.

O'ho. It seemed like that one is not as innocent as she wants us to think…

Interesting.

"…okay, if you say so, sempai!"

'…oi, big chick… How can you be so insensitive…? Or maybe you're just plain gullible…'

"Meryl, you should back away a bit from the fire. Maybe your face went red coz you're too close to it. You sure you're okay?"

'…Why am I surrounded by credulous and dense individuals, anyway…?'

Rolling his eyes, Wolfwood discreetly moved his legs, concealing the remnants of his arousal from sight. He was very lucky, for the fact that he was wearing his usual black overall. In the darkness of the night, with only two of the five moons of Gunsmoke shining faintly above them, he could barely see his own shoes; if not for the light coming from the fire.

Yawning, the tired priest arranged his grey blanket into a make-shift bed. Too much excitement for one night… "Oi, Tongari, you're on guard duty tonight."

"EEEEEEEEH? Why me?"

That's it.

Pointing accusingly in that impossibly cool stance of his (the author swooned dramatically off-screen, while the insurance girls clapped in amazement. Well, one was anyway. The other one was still in a dazed trance from the previous …incident) at his spike-haired companion, Wolfwood reproached: "Coz you're the only person who's eating that stick of enamel-killing, teeth-cracking piece of sh-…sweet tonight. And I'm too tired to stay up; I've already done guard duty last night. Now if you'd excuse me…"

He reclined onto his blanket, with his back to the broom head, pulling part of the rug on top of him, covering his body. Tongari should be surprised by this little change. Usually Wolfwood would just sleep on top of the blanket only, not draping himself with it. But tonight because of the pseudo-erotic show that he just witnessed less than ten minutes ago, his arousal can still be seen by those amazingly sharp eyes of the sharp shooter behind him, even in this dim lighting. The cover was to further pall the spiky boy from being able to see his current state of excitement. Just pray to God that the broom head was just as blond in his head, as his hair is.

Vash blinked at his best friend, frowning curiously at the huddling black form. '…I could have sworn that's a tent I see in his pants… Hmm. Maybe he does swing both ways… Should I ask him The Question? Heh. What would his reaction be…' and proceeded to sucking on what left of his candy cane (minus all the moaning), smiling to himself.

Vash's smile didn't seem right… Can anyone imagine him smiling somewhat… lecherously…?

Our favorite (and currently snoozing) priest mumbled away in his sleep about Tongaris licking, sucking…

--------------------------------

A/N: How was it? (grins) Evil, I am. Poor Wolfwood. What is The Question, you may ask? Well, for that, you hafta wait for ARUQ. Hu fu fu fu fu…. X)

You just have to LOVE these kinds of gags. Not creative much, but still an all-time favorite! Ha ha haa! XD

Am I the only one that sees Wolfwood as the coolest Trigun character ever? Okay, maybe not as cool as Midvalley (Legato's kinda on the extreme side, Knives is a bit too fanatic, and Vash is too cute to be cool… so Hornfreak's the coolest one in my eyes), but the way Nightow-sama draws the priest's poses in the manga, with his Punisher waving around dramatically, I just can't help but to go head over heals with this guy. Aaaaah….. (faints)

(sits up crossed-legs) But I'm really curious on how he would be wrapping that huge crucifix of his after every battle. And how did he find the covering back after pulling 'em off and runs away immediately into a fight, and the place blows up? The same is happening with the duffle bag Vash was seen carrying around with him all the time… Where da hell did he towed it away when he suddenly gets into fights? And their clothes get automatically mended after every battle, even after all the hails of gunshots and torpedoes… the tears and wears just VANISHED! God-knows… or better still, Nightow-sama knows. The mystery deepens… (nods to self)

… do ya think Midvalley would really do a threesome that includes his saxophone? One really kinky kink, duncha think so? XD

Gimme feedbacks! X3