Title: "Thirty-nine"

Author: Jackie W.

Rating: T

Classification: Season tag Season: 9

Spoilers: Anything up to the end of season 9

Archive: SJD, yes. Anyone else, please just ask.

Summary: Nothing strikes fear in the hearts of man (or woman!) like the prospect of parenthood. Sam mulls over a possible fork in the road.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret Productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment, not monetary purposes, and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead is coincidental and not intended by the author.

Author's Notes: I've had this idea brewing for a while, but I was waiting for the right timing in the SG1 storyline. I think it finally fits in now, especially since it seems to have morphed into something appropriate for Father's Day.

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Prologue - It all started with a dream

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Sam woke up screaming in pain and fear. The pounding of her heart after a vivid nightmare was something she was accustomed to. What surprised her was the fact that the imagined pain had been so realistic. When the nightmares had started she hadn't been overly concerned. She knew the routine. She would relive the traumatic event until her mind had come to terms with it, then it would fade, only to reoccur sometime in the future when she was stressed and overtired. Then all of her past nightmares tended to rotate until whatever the crisis was had passed. But this particular nightmare had morphed into something totally different and truth be told it had her a bit on edge.

When they had started, the dreams mirrored the true events up to a point. She was stranded in her spacesuit next to the Supergate as the violent battle raged around her. Predictably, in her dream her mind followed to the worst possible conclusion, with all of the Earth and allied ships blown to bits in front of her eyes, and the Ori ships speeding off towards Earth to complete the devastation. She was left staring into the blackness of space with only her heavy breathing and the beating of her heart as background noise.

In reality rescue had come just in time, and she had been reunited with her battered team. Still, she knew the dreams would continue to play themselves out until she had come to terms with another close call.

Then Vala had shown up, and her account of standing on the Ori ship watching the same scene had ended with the alien woman going into labor. Sam's vivid imagination had somehow picked up on that and incorporated it into her dream. Now as her nightmares ended she was stranded floating in her spacesuit nine months pregnant with the first contractions wracking her body. And the pain in her nightmares was surprisingly realistic considering Sam had never given birth.

With a sigh, Sam got up to make herself a cup of tea. If she had any hope of getting back to sleep she was going to have to shake off the nightmare first. As the teakettle started to heat up she stood at the back door staring out at the night sky and suddenly a memory floated to her from the deep recesses of her mind. She was starting at a different night sky and there was a young man standing protectively nearby and they were discussing something. Suddenly the conversation was paused as she gasped in pain and doubled over.

"Isaax, it is time," she whispered.

The memory fast-forwarded through hours of excruciating labor, until finally she was straining with all of her might to push her child into the world. And then waiting anxiously for the sound that would mean all was well. At the first loud wail from the newborn she was crying with joy, and moments later a small bundle was placed in her arms. The love she felt was overwhelming.
As suddenly as the flashback had begun, it ended, leaving Sam weak in the knees. She collapsed into a nearby chair and took a deep breath. Already her mind was racing trying to place the memory that so obviously wasn't hers. Not Rosha's either she quickly concluded. No, this was a host before Rosha.

Like a figure out of the mist a name whispered itself to her. Alexa. She had been Jolinar's first host, and she had been much older than in this memory when they had joined. Still, the image and feelings had been imprinted, and passed along, just lurking until triggered like so many others had over the years.

As accustomed as Sam was to having others past lives and their associated feelings thrust upon her, she was unprepared for how the longing this particular memory had evoked would linger and cause her to make some drastic changes in her own life.

TBC