A/N: Sorry if there are any OOCs or anything … anyway, there's no Chopper or Nico Robin, at the moment, since a) I've only seen Chopper once in an episode b) I've only seen Nico once as Miss Sunday. Understandable, right? But it will still have your lovable Straw Hat Crew (I'm using Zoro, btw, even though I'm an English dubber (Don't kill me! Don't kill me!)). jumps hyperactively around the room Anyways … enjoy. Set at a small island which Luffy docks on in the Grand Line.
Well, I'd better start from the start. Hey, I'm Athenus. Athenus Yuran. I'm 16, about 5'8", have long black hair, wear opaque sunglasses, and have blue eyes. Also, I normally wear a miniskirt, on the account that I have skinny legs, but if not, I wear tight leather pants. And I always wear a bright brown tank top. Yep, that's me.
Currently I'm in a bit of a situation … well, I was zapped here from … dun, dun, dun! Earth, the normal reality. There I have a different name, a different style, a different ... reality ... So now I'm stuck in One Piece world. Not that I mind, though. It's quite fun, exercising my taekwondo skills (I'm a black belt! Yay!) on any drunk peoples. And I can have beer! Yay!
But, I'm basically broke, because I only have a minute income from being a bartender. That wage of 400 beli (A/N Is that how its spelt? Forgive my ignorance … Australia is now in the Baratie Arc. sigh They took One Piece off after the Drum Island Arc to put on TMNT! And then they started One Piece again from the start! Anyways, back to the story) a week rents me a place in my house, and gives me a small meal twice a day.
So, my days as bartender are … interesting, to say the least. Pirates ogle me. That's my job, plus that I have to serve drinks. I get free drinks though! (A/N I like beer, even though I'm underage … heh heh heh) The only upside.
One of these days, a bunch of five pirates walked into the premises. This group was interesting. A mixture. A fruits basket. There was a long-nosed man, someone who looked like a kid, a lady with orange hair, and two men, one you would call Mosshead, and the other, whom as he saw me, an eye turned into a heart.
"Would you like anything, sirs, madam?" I asked them politely, as they made their way up to the bar.
"MEAT!" the boyish one yelled enthusiastically. The green-haired man and the lady rolled their eyes.
"Excuse our captain, flower of loveliness. He is just ignorant of the beauty you portray." This came from the blonde haired man, who I just nodded sarcastically to, before punching him in the face.
"Sorry about that," I said, addressing the comment to the three other adults. "Was there anything you wanted apart from meat?"
"Make that two meats," the long-nosed man ordered, going and joining the boy in his chants of, "MEAT! MEAT! MEAT! MEAT!" I rolled my eyes, along with the two other standing guests (the one I had hit had fallen to the floor).
"I'll just have a beer. What about you, Nami?" Mosshead asked, obviously talking to the lady next to him.
"Just a water, thanks."
"Coming right up. It won't be long." As I turned around to place the order for two steaks, a beer and water, I heard the lady, the one called Nami, talking to the boy who had originally started up the MEAT! chant.
"Luffy, she might be a good addition to the crew," she murmured. Luffy turned his attention to Nami, and asked, "Why, Nami?"
"'Cause I need another girl on board. And did you see the way she punched in Sanji's face?" She paused there to have a chuckle. At this point I ordered the request, before politely telling Mosshead his meal would be delivered shortly.
"Whaddya think, Zoro?" Luffy was asking Mosshead, as Sanji, the blonde flirt, was slowly recovering from my sock to his nose.
In Zoro's normal tone, he agreed, "Yeah, I guess. What position, though, Luffy?"
"Quartermaster!"
"Uh, Luffy? You kinda forget I'm the quartermaster," Nami said.
"But aren't you the Navigator?" Luffy asked, amazement clearly showing on his face.
"And the Quartermaster, Luffy." Nami rolled her eyes.
"Whatever. Do you think we should ask?"
"That's what I asked you, Luffy."
"Oh. Okay, then." Luffy then raised his voice to address me. "Hey, barmaid, wanna be part of my crew?"
"Are you joking?" I asked, not sure that Luffy was right in his head. I mean, him captain? But at least, I would no longer have to do this lousy job just to survive, and I could be part of a rev-a-lut-ion!
"Nup. So, do ya wanna?" Luffy repeated again.
"Um, ok. Sure."
"So, kid," Mosshead, aka Zoro, asked, "what's your name?"
"Athenus. Athenus Yuran. Black belt in taekwondo, and experienced drink mixer at your service." I offered Zoro a rare smile, as I bowed accordingly.
"Cool."
"And you guys are?"
"Captain Luffy of the Straw Hats."
At this point I gasped. "The Straw Hats?" I squeaked. Apparently I must have had amnesia to forget them! How could I not remember them from Reality? And hadn't I seen the bounty for Luffy? I'm ashamed of myself. That is so despicable.
"Yep, that's us."
"Wow." That's all I could say. Wow. Such great poetry, isn't it?
"I'm Roronoa Zoro, First Mate of the Merry Go, and trying to be the top swordsman in the world."
I restrained myself from interjecting the fact he was an ex-pirate bounty hunter. I mean, how ironic is that?
"Nami, top thief, and Navigator of the Straw Hats." I know this, so I also restrained myself from tapping my feet.
"The Great Captain Usopp, Marksman and Gunner of the Merry Go!" The rest of us snorted (apart from Luffy, who protested he was the captain) to this comment.
The weakly recovering blondie on the floor raised his head and said, "Sanji, Head Cook of the Straw Hats, beautiful."
"If you call me beautiful once more, pretty boy, I'll thrash you," I threatened him with steel in my voice.
"But, honey!" he protested.
"I mean it!"
"Okay, okay!" Sanji threw his arms up from his laying down position on the floor, as I burst out into laughter.
"I think I'm going to enjoy this," Zoro murmured to himself, as Nami joined in chuckling.
Next time on Cursed Idiot …
See what happens when Athenus boards the Merry Go …
And see how she torments poor Sanji or poor Zoro (-snickers-) …
And check out her new position …
On Cursed Idiot …