A/N: In a very random and silly mood with this one. Don't know what came over me actually but whatever. New reviewers wanted badly! I'd love your opinions, seeing as this is my newest fan-fic. I'm a bit nervous because I've never actually written one such as this. But yes. Review, review, review:D

Inside the Mind Of Draco Malfoy:

The Adventures Of A Demented Boy

Using Umbrellas as Blunt Objects

June 6:

My birthday was pretty damn wicked this year… My father, the big scary Death Eater guy who everybody fears was discovered in his bedroom closet with none other than Professor Snape. Who would have thought? That greasy haired man could catch my father's eye. Sneaky devil. Yes, Lucius Malfoy is a Death Fairy… Isn't it marvelous? I couldn't help but write all of this down so that I can preserve the memory forever and use it to black mail my father with years down the line… Even though everybody who attended my huge birthday bash got front row seats to the event… But still, there are others.

It's funny, because my mother and father had just gotten that walk in closet redone. And no sooner was it finished, my father was coming out of it… If you get my meaning. Ha!

Besides, the party was beginning to get a bit dull for me.

The juicy part was that my mother caught them at it. We heard her screeching something at the top of her lungs and suddenly, my father appeared, running down the spiral staircase shielding his face from her. She held a huge black umbrella in her hands and she was beating him over the head with it. She chased my father and his lover from the house in her tight little white dress. Even in her anger, she manages to look elegant.

She jabbed him hard quite a few times. I'm interested to find out if he's going to have to get that umbrella surgically removed from his arse. Who knows? Perhaps he'll have a lightning bolt scar there, where my mother's wrath tore him a new one…

I was beginning to wonder what all of the fluffy cushions were about. They covered my parent's bed, the couches… Fuzzy carpets in my father's car. That was when I knew it wasn't mother. She's never liked fluffy much… We got her a poodle once for her birthday and she shaved all of it's fur off and made it grow back straight…Who does that to a poodle? Apparently my mother but come on!

How could we not see it? It's not that we didn't see it, we just knew better than to ask. Although he may ride the rainbow of love in a pink cardigan he is still the Dark Lord's Death Fairy and he can kill you with one glance in your direction. Just like a woman with the evil eye…

Ah well… I hope that old saying like father like son doesn't come into play anytime soon. Especially when it comes to Snape. I shiver. Sometimes people like to try and go through a whole family. Just like a certain Pansy Parkinson with the Weasley twins, the Weasel King, and the Weaselette… She wouldn't go near that Percy fellow though… His oddly shaped head freaked her out a bit.

A/N: I don't know if I'll actually update on this one. It depends on the amount of readers. :D xoxo