Oh. My. Tigerclaw.

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Today I caught Kittypet sneaking food over to RiverClan.
He's just like Sally Struthers.

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ANGSTANGSTANGSTANGSTANGST

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IMMA BUY U A DRANKKK IMMA TAKE YOU HOME WITH ME
I GOT MONEY IN THE BANK, SHAWTY WHAT YOU THINK BOUT THAT?
I'LL BE IN THE GRAY CADILLAC
WE IN THE BED LIKE OOH OOH OOH OOH OOH OOH
WE IN THE BED LIKE OOH OOH OOH OOH OOOOHH

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So today, Dubya-storm did a pretty neat trick.
His eyes are now the color of sun-baked sand.

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METAMORPHAGUS.

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Goldriver or whatever her name was, G-stripe's bitch, died.
Right now they're in the nursery by my kits.
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They might get ugly all over my kits.

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"Bluestar."
"What?"
"...LET ME SEE YOU GET LOW YOU SCARED YOU SCARED DROP THAT ASS TO THE FLOOR YOU SCARED YOU SCARED."
"...(gets low)"

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ANGST ANGST ANGST.

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You know, I wouldn't mind if Goldenflower died like Goldriver did.
I mean, I'd be a little emo for a while. (ANGST)
But then I'd be free.

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SINGLE LIKE A PRINGLE AND READY TO MINGLE.

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Want to know a secret?

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Dubya-storm's in love with Ol' Blue (his aunt!)
But...

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WHITESTORM DOESN'T KNOW THAT OL' BLUE AND ME DO IT IN MY VAN EVERY SUNDAY.

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...
...I'm really sorry for that.
But Dubya-storm can't love his aunt.

This isn't Tennessee, you know.

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HIS PALMS ARE SWEATY KNEES WEAK ARMS ARE HEAVY THERE'S VOMIT ON HIS SWEATAH ALREADY, MOM'S SPAGHETTI

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Mmm...spaghetti. -drool-

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At the advice of my lawyer, I have never heard of anything called, 'The Simpsons'.

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I'm hot cuz I'm fly! You ain' t cuz you're not! This is why, this is why, this is why I'm hot! This is why I'm hot! I don't gotta rap! I can sell a mill, sell you nothing on the track!
I represent New York! I got it on my back! And they say that we lost it so Imma bring it back!

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Holy punctuaction!

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...betch.