Be Afraid to Lose Me
By:
Setalina Muro
Summary: He never took her words to heart until the day of her funeral. Then he suddenly realized what really mattered the whole time. Friends…SxS drabble type One-shot.
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or any places, people and/or other things you are familiar with from the show or anything else.
A/N: Meh. So this is written in commemoration of my godfather who recently lost both of his best friends within a three day period and is having a rough time of it. I was looking for a story for the title, and it seemed to work well with this. Not the best thing ever, I admit. Few descriptions. Like a blur, as I'd expect a funeral of your lover to be ( plus it was typed on the computer and that is far from my usual style…) Anyway, I hope you all can find some sort of enjoyment in this.
Notes on the Story:
No notes in particular today, save for this is probably one of the lesser things I've written.
Be Afraid to lose Me
Silence…resonating silence. No longer did her gentle laughter curl around him, singing like silver bells in spring. The quick patter of her feet as she ran to meet him did not come. No shimmering hair, dancing in the wind; eyes full of moonlight no longer. Just the silence broken by a single word.
"Kaiba?"
"Hmm?" He did not tear his eyes from the coffin. Closed. A dark cherry lid atop it. Encasing her inside forever in the forbidden sleep. No waking up. Ever again.
"Are you…alright?"
"No," he answered truthfully. Never would be again, he thought. Never again. Not without her.
Silence.
"Is…is there anything I can do?" the sympathetic voice began again.
"No." Yet again the answer. But not to be cold or sneering. Not for that reason. "You have a friend to console," he said.
"Joey has all the friends in the world right now. You're the one standing alone beside the coffin."
He thought on it for a minute. Did it matter if he had company? Was it was she would have wanted?
"I want to trade places," he said suddenly.
"What?"
"Give back her life," he hissed. "Erase the car crash or change it. Change the seats around so I could have protected her. You're magic, aren't you? Do something."
"I'm sorry, Kaiba, I can't."
His fist slammed down on it. "I want her to come back," he chocked out. "Yugi…make her come back…I need her."
"Come here, Kaiba. Sit down."
He was guided to a stone bench. He sat. Uselessness was not something he was good with. He had a company to work on. A brother to take care of. But no matter what he did…she was gone. The final word.
Dead…
It had hit him like a rock when they had told him in the hospital. He lay there, stunned, disbelieving. She wasn't…couldn't be…but she was. And he left with only a few bumps and scratches. It wasn't fair.
"Yugi…I…I loved her."
"I know you did," the companion said soothingly. "And she knew it, too, Kaiba. There was no way she didn't know."
"But I never said…My god. Yugi, I never said it to her!" He was breaking down. Why hadn't he said it to her? Why?
In the office he had stood there, gazing at her. She followed him down the stairs and out the door and he did nothing. She said it, her voice so soft, so precious. 'I love you, Seto. I really do. Don't be angry with me.'
How could he have been angry with her? It was so selfish…so…stupid.
He shook his said. "She said it to me once, Yugi."
"What did she say, Kaiba?"
"That she loved me. Over and over. And I didn't say it back. I was…so mad at her." The rest came out in a tumbled blur, accidentally, passionately, sadly as he told it.
Long auburn hair blew free in the wind; tendrils whirling about her honey-brown eyes.
"Seto," she pleaded, trailing behind him. "Seto, come on! That was so stupid! It's a stupid thing to get so angry about! Please, just calm down. Let's talk."
He turned sharply on his heel, glaring over his shoulder. "Do not tell me what to do. That filthy mutt you call a brother might listen, but I won't."
Her eyes darkened. "Seto…" she said disapprovingly. "I asked you not to talk like that about my brother."
He began walking again. "So?"
"'So?' Is that all you have to say?" she chided, coming up beside him. "Is that all I mean to you, Seto Kaiba?"
"…No."
"A one word answer and I'm supposed to believe you? For God's sake, Seto! What are we going to do? We're here again and we're fighting in the middle of a sidewalk! Why must you be so difficult!"
He shrugged, walking into the open.
"Arg! You're so impossible! I'm about ready to give up on you! I'm almost so ready to just up and leave you."
Pause. He stopped on the sidewalk, turning to face her.
"You wouldn't dare."
"Try me," she hissed, arms crossed over her chest defiantly. "You can't treat me like I'm one of your expendable employees, Seto. I'll stay if I want to stay and leave when I wish. I love you, Seto, you know that, but if you think that means that I won't break my heart to tear you up, think again. I won't be your puppet or your toy. You can love me or you can forget I existed, but I won't be used."
"But I never said-!"
"Listen," she interrupted briskly. "I love you, Seto, but I love my brother, too, and I refuse to choose between you. And you should be afraid, Seto, damn afraid."
"Of what?"
A small smile caressed the corner of her lips. "You should be afraid to lose me, because when I'm gone, I won't be coming back, no matter what you do."
"…Serenity?"
"What?"
"…Never mind. Get in the car."
"But we never walk anymore!" she protested.
"Just get in the car."
And she did…
"It's my fault."
"No, Kaiba, it's not your fault."
"If we had walked like we did every Friday…if I hadn't have been so mad at her…if I had only said…"
"What do you think this is, a punishment for you being an ass all your life? Listen, Kaiba. Serenity is dead, and all of us are upset, but you can't take this out on yourself. You are not to blame. Circumstances change. People die. All the time. Nothing is for certain. All you can do is make as much as you can with the time you have with those living. Death is a hard lesson, Kaiba, and it's not one you learn on your own."
He watched Yugi go. Joey came.
"I sorry," Kaiba said.
"Me too. It was stupid."
"Yeah…we probably would have been brothers, you know."
"What?"
"I…I would have asked her to marry me…in a few weeks…after the fight had cooled down." Kaiba ran a hand absently through his hair. "When she had forgiven me enough to go out again. I…"
A silent message passed between the two.
"I know," Joey said. "Me too."
"I-is it alright with you if…if I put the ring in the grave before they bury her?"
Joey paused, casting a weary glance around. "Can I see it first?"
Kaiba pulled the small, wooden box from his pocket and opened it. Inside was a ring made of white gold. The top held several diamonds and they circled around a large pink stone.
"She would have loved it," Joey said.
The other nodded. Silence passed between the two young men. A priest came over.
"Are you ready for us to begin the burial?"
"No," Joey whispered. "Open the lid one more time. I…we have to do one more thing."
Kaiba gave Joey a shocked glance. Why…why…
"Come on, Kaiba. Let her wear it before she goes. She would've liked that."
A small smile touched Kaiba's lips as he followed Joey to the coffin. The lid had been lifted and they peered inside.
Her shimmering auburn hair lay splayed on the pillow around her and she wore a pale pink dress. Her eyes were closed peacefully, but both looked past the tranquil beauty to where glass and metal had punctured the skull. Joey nodded at Kaiba and turned away.
Kaiba took the ring, lay the box carefully beside her. He took her hand, whispering to her.
"I…I should have listened to you. You were right. After all the time I spent with you, I'm just scared what I'm going to do now without you. I should have been more careful with what we had. I should have been thinking straighter. And now…you're gone and I'll never get to know what your answer would have been to this question. I love you, Serenity Wheeler and I would have married you without a second thought. I bought you a ring…" Gently, he took it and slid it over the proper finger on her left hand. "I will always, always love you. Goodbye." He kissed her forehead and turned away, nodding at Joey as he passed.
He was halfway through the cemetery when Joey caught up with him, huffing. "Oi! Kaiba!"
"Yes, Whe-Mu-…Joey?" he corrected himself several times over.
"Funerals are for the living, not the dead. It's a celebration of their life, and you were hers. It wouldn't be right if you didn't come with us for a drink at least."
Kaiba paused for a minute, watching Joey carefully.
The other smiled wistfully. "Come on…Bro."
Silence again and both suddenly broke into laughter. The laughter slowly evolved into tears neither had shed all day and after a few minutes, it was over.
"How long will this truce last?" Kaiba asked, following Joey.
Joey only laughed. "All long as it can before we kill each other..."
Funny, Kaiba thought later as he nursed another drink as they sat around a table in a dimly lit bar, telling stories about Serenity. He lost the only person (aside from Mokuba) that had ever tried to be his friend and somewhere in the process, discovered people that would have cared even before that. It was more self-discovery than anything else, and for once in his life, Kaiba was glad to be in the company of these people. He was glad to have someone around to console him. But most of all, he was glad he could find other people he was afraid to lose…
The End
A/N: And there you have it. Feel free to R&R. I, on the other hand, am going to bed. Every time I sat up late, my mother wakes me up early. I don't know what it is with that woman. Twice I've been up past three reading books and each time, I get woken up before eight. I am running on four hours of sleep and if this is weird that's why. Farewell.
Lina