What is in a name
I dont play the sue me game
If it is me you want to blame
Remember I dont have money cus I'm lame
This chapter is for all those who have sent me support on this fic: Strlight99, LastxExile, Kami-Crimson, Rigel66, SpookShowBaby665, BigSister2, Nanashi, Zodiac, Zazu, Debs-dragon, Anthony, LoJohnson2, Lengo, Remon, Duo Maxwell, Sky, Ace, Lobo and Elric Maxwell. Thank you all.
Oh yeah, special shout out to Zodiac!
Read, Relax and Review…
NCS, Torture, Angst, and Violence
1x2, 1x3, 1x4, 3x4 1x5
Plot: This is a really dark fic about Heero raping Quatre while he was drunk. What will Trowa and Duo do when or if they find out?
"Talk"
'Thoughts'
/Flashbacks/
So Innocent Part 14
by Markanovanlink
Lost and confused aguas stared up into jade dipped eyes as the sound of tires screeching echoed through the old and dank cabin. Thousands of questions swarmed through his mind, but only one word passed between his slightly chapped lips. "Trowa."
His named sounded more like a question than an acknowledgement. He knew what would follow after he answered. He knew the questions that would be asked. He knew he could no longer hold on to his own secret. He just didn't know if he could handling hearing Quatre's. Without sounding drained or effected by the incident with Duo, he answered Quatre with a "yes."
"I'm sorry. I am sure Duo didn't…"
"Don't." Trowa's voice cut through his. "He had every right to do and say what he did."
Quatre sat back down on the bed and looked down at the floor. Trowa sighed and walked over to the blonde. After kneeling in front of the other boy, Trowa took Quatre's hands into his. "I will tell you what happened between me and Heero only if you promise to tell me who hurt you." Quatre nodded his answer and looked at their intertwined hands. With a slight squeeze, Trowa let go of his hands and stood. After sitting next to him on the bed, Trowa reclaimed them and took a deep breath.
"I took Heero in after he self detonated. He had stayed with me at the circus for awhile. One night, after a performance, we had a party by the campfire. Although everyone else left, we continued drinking and talking. Once I realized how drunk he was, I took him back to my trailer." Trowa looked down at his knees and exhaled. "What happened next really doesn't need any detail." He looked up at Quatre's eyes with urgency. "When Heero made an advance on me, I didn't say no or give any indication that I didn't want him. After we woke up the next morning, he seemed not to remember what we had done. So I acted like nothing happened."
Trowa looked down at his and Quatre's hands and remained silent. Quatre knew he wasn't going to say anything more unless he was asked. "Was that the last time you slept with him?"
"No."
Quatre sighed after realizing Trowa wasn't going to go into detail. "When was the last time you slept with Heero?"
"The day after you left for your mission."
"Go on."
Trowa sighed and continued. "He and Duo had a big fight that night after you left. Heero was wasted. He came into my room around one in the morning and got into my bed. When he was done, he got up and left."
"Did he remember?"
"No."
Quatre looked at him for awhile before he continued. "Trowa…did you want to have sex with him?"
"Does it matter?"
"Yes, it does! I mean you just cant…you know…I mean." Quatre huffed in frustration. "Maybe my question should be if you like having sex with him?"
"I'm not sure if I can answer that."
"And why not! There has to be something you like about it if you can sleep with him that many times. I mean, what is it that lets you let him degrade you and betray Duo. I mean…isn't Duo your friend too? How could…can you…I thought you loved me. Was that a lie? How could…" His words were silenced when Trowa gripped his shoulders roughly. He was in shock as his eyes relayed images of an angry Gundum Pilot.
Trowa's eyes narrowed at Quatre as he spoke. "I never lied to you. I do love you. Don't ever question how I feel! If I didn't mean it I would never had said it!"
"You're hurting me."
Realization hit him hard as he let go of Quatre's shoulders. "I'm sorry. It's just that I…" With no words to describe how he felt, he did the only thing he could think of. He grabbed Quatre by the shoulders again and kissed him.
Quatre pushed Trowa away and yelled, "What do you think you're doing! You just cant do that! Why would…" He was once again silenced by Trowa, but this time it was a crushing embrace.
Quatre struggled against him but he wasn't going to let go. "Quatre, please just hear me out." When the blonde pilot finally stop moving, Trowa took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "Yes and no. I did and didn't like sleeping with him. Yes I know I betrayed Duo's trust and yours. But Heero was the closest thing I had to my own personal fantasy. I knew it was wrong and I could have stopped it before it went any further. I just didn't want to. He was the closest thing to you I had. I could pretend that he was you."
"Let me go!"
"Quatre, please just listen!"
"I don't want to hear anything else you have to say. Just let me go. Please let me go." He could feel the silent sobs radiating through Quatre's body. Trowa bit his lip and released the other pilot from his grasp.
He stood up and walked a couple of feet from the bed. Without turning around, he spoke in monotone voice. "You almost me killed me and I listened to you. When I had amnesia, I listened and believe everything you told me. And now you say you don't want to hear anything I have to say."
"Trowa, that's not fair…it's just that I…I don't know. I've been through a lot and…"
"And you think I haven't."
"You know I am sorry for what I did to you, and I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you. Trowa, I didn't mean to say what I just said. I do want to hear what you have to say, but it is just so overwhelming."
"Overwhelming? Are you sure it isn't guilt?"
"It is not guilt! I have feelings for you! And that is why it was overwhelming! How did you think I would handle you substituting Heero for me. Was I suppose to say, 'Gee Trowa, everything is just dandy.' No, I am human. I was pissed that you would…what…why are you…"
Quatre was speechless as he watched Trowa laugh out loud. His laughing echoed off the walls. Quatre could feel the heat in his face rise as he watched Trowa clutch his stomach. "Why are you laughing?"
The deadly tone in Quatre's voice made him laugh some more. When he finally got himself under control, he walked towards the bed with an amused face. "Because you said pissed."
Quatre's hard stare started to falter as he took in what Trowa had said. He allowed himself to smile at their current situation. Before his lips were able to utter his thoughts, a large explosion ripped through the small cabin.
A/N Ummm, have I been ending all the chapters in cliff hangers? I hope not. Well anywho, the next chapter will have lots of drama in it. Until next time…