Title: An unlikely occurrence.
Author: Dirtwater Fox
Summary: Love, loneliness, regret... when steeped in these emotions, often an unlikely romance can occur.
Notes: A bit of May/December romance. Beyond that though, this was as much of a writing exercise for myself as it was a work of sudden inspiration. I suck at dialogue.. I mean... I really.. fucking... suck.. at dialogue. SO I decided to try something based almost entirely on nothing but speech. Also, as an added quirk, I imposed a rule on myself in writing it. I could not reveal the names of the two characters this surrounded - while still making it obvious as to who it was, though outside characters names were fine. Anybody else notice FF being a pain in the ass lately? Anyway... Fixed the complete deletion of punctuation... I hope. But if FF does it again, fuck it. This is the last tiem I'll do it.

"Still awake..?"
"Mng..?"
"...Why did you come here?"
"I had nowhere else to go..."
"Almost every door in Konoha is open to you now."
"Okay... I had no one else to go to then - better?"
There was laughter in the air for a moment before the reply.
"No one? Almost every girl in Konoha would gladly take my place to console you, you stud you."
"Almost every girl in Konoha would gladly console me between the sheets, you mean."
"And what do you call this, hmm?"
"Something else..."
"Something else..?"
"Yeah... It's much different."
"Well, here we are, between the sheets... and I certainly hope you're feeling consoled - you are, aren't you?"
"I am, you've got nothing to worry about there, trust me."
"So tell me then - how is this any different?"
"It just is."
"No other reason?"
"None I know how to explain..."
"Oh..."
"Yeah..."
There was a silence for a time, interrupted only by the gradually deepening breath from the younger generation.
"Tired, little one?"
"Nn... No... and don't call me that!"
"Heh, okay... but if you're not tired, then why are you falling asleep - Did this old lady wear you out?"
"You're not old."
"So you admit I wore you out then?"
"Maybe, but only if you admit you're not old."
"Mmm.. you're sweet, my little lover... but I am, indeed, old."
"Not to me..."
"And what am I then - to you?"
"I don't know..."
The room grew quiet again, but the air was not empty. It was, instead, thick with a confused sense of disappointment.
"Maybe..."
In the darkness of the bedroom, the rustling of covers indicated one of the warm bodies attention being perked.
"Yes?"
"Maybe it's because..."
"Oh for Kami's sake... Out with it!"
"Maybe.. it's because I don't want a girl - maybe I want a woman."
"You could have had Shizune, or even Kurenai, you know - I've seen the way she's looked at you."
For the second time, laughter filled the air.
"Shizune's like a bossy older sister... and Kurenai? No. Not unless it was in a three or foursome."
"Hmm?"
"Didn't you know? She's a.. a uh... y'know, a le... uhm... heh..."
"Baby, you're eighteen now. You ought to be able to say lesbian without... Wait a minute, Kurenai's a lesbian!"
"Heh, yeah... well, Bi, I guess. When we had that Rookie-Nine-gone-Jounin-Nine party, she got really drunk and offered to give me a congratulatory blowjob - if I could get Ino to eat her out while Sakura... uhm.. quote, 'ass-thumped her with a strap-on', end quote"
There was a very pregnant pause in the conversation for a long moment. The younger blushing horribly, the elder in something of a state of shock.
"She did not say that!"
"Yep!"
"No way. I've known Kurenai for quite some time... she would not say that."
"After three 'Nindo Breakers' she would. I know this, because after three of'm, she did."
"Ohhhhh Kami, that is hilarious!"
"Heheh, yeah, in'it though?"
Another silence took hold for a time, the elder gently caressing the erogenous zone just above the younger's manhood.
"So... why are you here, really?"
There was no immediate answer, and the familiar hand slowed to a hesitant stop.
"Because..."
"Because... why?"
"Because. I need you."
"Bah, you're just a horny teenager. All you need is sex."
"No I-"
"No? Really? Then what's -"
There was a dramatic pause as, for special emphasis, gentle strokes became a momentarily firm grip.
"- this, hmmm?"
"Eheh... well, okay. But I need more than... y'know, just that."
"Mmmmmhmmm."
"I mean it! I do need you - for more than just for that!"
"Oh stop, you're in danger of making me feel like a schoolgirl..."
"You're certainly as limber as one."
"Oh You!"
And, seriousness abated, the two began to move as one again - and they spent the night sending a message of loving uncertainty to the stars via hoarse screams and joyful exertion.

(AN: Hopefully, I did it well enough that you were able to figure out who it was. If not... well, it's sorted in names anyway. If you don't like it and want to write a scathing flame full of bad grammar and a grasp of the English language that most primates would envy... well, fuck you. You've read it already so the damage is done. Plus, quite frankly... I will laugh, and laugh hard at that, at any flames. I've received three so far, and each made me giggle like the Gingerbread Woman playing with her gum drop 'buttons.' Anyway, I've said my peace.)