Well here it is. My first slash fic (at least that's another resolution sorted). This was originally written as a song-fic but it doesn't really need the song and I wasn't completely certain whether song-fics are still allowed here, oh well. The song was Michelle Branch's "Goodbye to you" if you are interested (it's the one from the Buffy episode Tabula Rasa)

Ok, I will repeat again this is a slash. Got it? Good.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Power Rangers, never have, never will.

So this is what having your heart break feels like. Standing here, watching him walk away. He doesn't know that I'm here but even if he did I doubt it would mean anything to him, if it did maybe he wouldn't be leaving…

It's incredible how things can change in a single moment. In the blink of an eye your whole world can be turned upside down, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. One minute we were three normal teens, just won a ninja tournament, the next we were being captured and nearly turned into evil minions of Lord Zedd; one minute we're keeping someone else's secret the next we were the secret, Power Rangers; one minute you are best friends, the next dating; one minute fighting together, then fighting alone…one minute you are happy and then the next he decides he's leaving and that its all over…

It's all so complicated and confusing; I don't know where to start. It feels like everything has been torn away leaving me lost and alone.

Three years. That's how long it's been since he supposedly fell in love with me, but I don't know what to believe anymore.

Once upon a time it was all so simple, I keep thinking back to that day, about a year ago, when we started dating, yes it was so simple then. It was a special day in many ways; it was the day that we finally completed the Zeo crystal allowing us to become teenagers again, we had to say goodbye to Aisha but hello to Tanya, had the Command Centre blown up but then discovered the Power Chamber, became the Zeo Rangers for the first time and fought our first battle against our new enemy 'The Machine Empire'; it was one hell of a day. That evening though Rocky and I went for a walk, reminiscing about all the good things about our friendship with Aisha and how it felt for her to leave like that, without even saying goodbye.

Then he kissed me. He kissed me and the whole world went away. He asked me never to leave him and I promised that I never would…maybe I should have asked for the same promise from him in return, because now he's leaving.

He's leaving and taking away everything I knew and believed in. It's my own fault I suppose, for being so naive, believing we could make it. I was so desperate to believe that we could be together forever that I couldn't see the truth. Now that I look back I can't really be sure whether he really loved me at all.

I think I may have always known or at least suspected that I wasn't quite like everyone else, that my feelings for my male best friend were more than just being 'bros', that I was gay and falling in love with him.

My love life had always been pretty non-existent and when I did try dating girls it never quite worked out; first Anne in Stone Canyon, Sarah Diaz, Sabrina/Scorpina and then Marissa from the 1790s. After her I pretty much gave up, something was missing and it was far less painful not to try than to keep failing. Until Rocky of course. I couldn't tell you the exact moment when I realised that I was falling for him, but when he told me that he felt the same way…my world felt complete.

Telling my parents I was gay was so difficult; I really didn't know how they would react. My mother had always gone on about how she couldn't wait to be a grandmother, I really hated shattering that little illusion she had built up. When I told them…it was a little weird actually, I don't think they really knew how to react, although I'm pretty sure they were angry and upset even though they didn't say so. At first they were really quiet, trying to understand, struggling to accept. Then my mother joked that there was always adoption, she still wanted grandchildren regardless of my sexuality. It was a great relief to know that she still loved me, I don't think she was entirely happy or even acceptant of my choice but she was trying to be which was all that mattered. My dad didn't take it quite so well. For a long time there was a lot of awkwardness and coldness, until one day he came home from work having lost his cool with workmates for making homophobic remarks. I knew then that someday he would be able to accept what I was, and someday was more than good enough for me.

We didn't tell the others though, he said they wouldn't accept us, and he refused to tell his parents, saying he wasn't ready. I accepted that, I understood, it didn't really bother me. I told myself that he was just scared, that I had to be there for him and that it would all be ok in the end. As long as I held onto the belief that one day we would tell the others I could be happy. We were together and that's all I needed.

Aisha always told me that believing in love, romance and in the best of people would one day break my heart…but how was I to know that Rocky would be the one to hurt me?

When he said that he was leaving I didn't want to believe it, I knew that he didn't want to regain his powers after the accident, and although I wasn't exactly thrilled at the idea of a twelve year old being a ranger I did my best to accept his decision, I didn't realise then that that wasn't his only decision. He announced that he was leaving Angel Grove, and I really couldn't begin to understand that. I asked him what that meant for us, he just looked at me, strangely calm and emotionless, and said that it was probably time for us to call it a day, that it was best for both of us to just go our separate ways and draw a line under the past. I tried arguing with him but there was no point, he'd made his decision. He wanted a new life and I wasn't part of it. That hurt so much. I started wondering whether he'd ever meant it when he said "I love you". I'm even starting to wonder whether our friendship ever meant anything to him because right now I'm finding it hard to believe that it did.

He hasn't even said goodbye. Just sneaking off, taking advantage of an attack by Divatox to make his exit.

I was injured in the battle today. My distraction over Rocky allowed one of Divatox's goons to slash my arm pretty badly. I didn't stop at the Power Chamber to have it seen to though, I just came right here, holding my arm tightly to slow the blood flow as I watch him walk out of my life. The pain in my arm and the feel of my blood through my fingers confirm that this isn't just some nightmare; I'm not going to wake up and find that everything is fine, it's real. It's all real.

Damn it Rocky don't do this. Just turn around, look back and see me here. I'm not mad at you. You don't have to go. I love you.

I don't know what to do. When we were kids he'd make the decisions and I would trust him, following him even if I wasn't certain that it was what I wanted to do. I used to be a doormat, the shy quiet one who would always give in, yeah tell me your problems and secrets, who would I talk to? Who would I tell? I think even Rocky saw me like that sometimes. I can't be that person anymore; I don't want to be. I love Rocky but this time I'm not going to give in. I'm not going to run after him and beg him to change his mind. This time I'm just going to have to let him go and hope that everything works out the way destiny intends, even if that means we'll never see each other again. Maybe this is for the best…

There's a sound behind me. Someone has teleported in and somehow I just know who it is.

"He's gone"

Tommy looks to me with a small smile, "Just you and me of the old team left then… although if we don't get that cut sorted it'll be neither of us 'cos Kat'll kill me if I let you keel over. Come on"

I hesitate. One last glance back, before teleporting away to the Power Chamber.

Goodbye Rocky. I loved you.