Title: Strength.
Author: Sailor Starlight Girl.
Genre: Romance.
Rating: K+.
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Authoress' Note: Lately I've felt that I've had a bit of Writers Block. It probably explains the lack of good Royai fan fictions around the place (from what I can see, anyway). Though this fic doesn't exactly give so much Royai, but it does contain spoilers for episode 25 and it is kind of OOC… But it doesn't matter, does it? I thought not. This stars or wonderful Roy Mustang who reveals everything he's thinking about our favourite lieutenant, Riza Hawkeye.
Disclaimer: I do not under any circumstances own Roy Mustang, Riza Hawkeye or FullMetal Alchemist. Get it? Got it? Good.
Summery: 'Nobody understands how much she means to me.' Royai, Roy-centric, One shot, Drabble-ish, Spoilers for episode 25.
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Some people don't understand how much she means to me. She's everything: my strength, my courage, my will. I feel like I could do just about anything, just as long as I have her by my side. Though it sounds idiotic, hell, it probably sounds stupid but I am so dependant on her that it strains me to the extent that if I didn't have her, I'd literally put the gun to my temple and shoot. Just so it wouldn't hurt anymore.
So that the pains of not being around her would subside and I would feel nothing anymore. No feelings, no desperation, nothing. That's how it would be without her by my side.
I love her to the extent that I would give anything to be by her side because god knows I don't deserve such an angel as she. She is innocent; she is made for me. I don't understand the logic in falling for someone completely strong and stable, so dependant and beautiful.
It seems so impossible for someone like me to fall for a girl, no, a woman who doesn't cry when she breaks a single nail, someone I've never seen faint at the slightest drop of blood nor someone who I could picture myself with someone as worthless and undeserving as me.
On another note, nobody knows how truly amazing she is, though there is one person I could probably name right now, actually, I think after he passed away he made me realize the extent of my feelings, how deep they truly went. I'm not sure if I should kill him or even thank him. Though, hypothetically speaking, you cannot kill something that is already dead. Damn Maes.
Sometimes I wonder just what love is. Maes always used to talk about his Gracia, after all. I guess I'm left to wonder exactly what it is. Is it a promise or a compromise? Is it dedication or a mutual agreement? Is it unconditional affection for another or could it be that love doesn't exist at all?
Right now, I'm not sure if it really exists for someone like me. All I've ever felt for a woman is pure lust and necessity. I'm not even sure why I feel this way, could it be that I'm replacing the woman in my dreams? My lieutenant, the person I cannot have, the person I desire so much that my heart begins to ache.
But if it shows that I'm to be in love with my first lieutenant, the woman who means the world to me, the woman who makes me strong instead of weak and the woman who is my other half, so let it be because there isn't anything we can't handle as one.
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Note: Abrupt ending, I know, but I just seemed it fitting for it to end there and then. Don't complain to me how short it was or anything because I won't be changing it, sorry. But I do hope it satisfies that of your Royai tastes as I think it fulfilled mine for the moment.
So, please read and review! It'll mean the world to me. All your reviews do.
- Sailor Starlight Girl.