A/N: WARNING TO ALL READERS- this story contains a very sensitive subject to some people; I can't say much without giving it away. But you have been warned. Thank you and read on ;) oh yea, I have no idea how this story came to me, it just did. Flames are acceptable

By the way, this first chapter is all a flashback. Or, a prologue, but the rest will be set 11 months in the future when Logan comes back.

"Logan… I, we, can't do this anymore. It hurts too much."

"Yeah, Ace, I agree. I'll be back in 11 months. If we meet again, then we can give us another shot. But not with this distance, and not with Mitchum Huntzberger always on my case."

"Yeah, we'll see. Good-bye Logan."

"Good-bye, Ace. I hope to see you again."

The tears were silently rolling down Rory Gilmore's face, "And Logan?" she paused, "I do love you."

"I love you too, Ace."

Rory could hear the cracking in his voice; sure that he had been holding back his tears. Logan Huntzberger never cried. Rory hung up her phone and slid down the wall of her apartment, she could barely breathe. She loved him, she really did, but this was impossible. His father would never let him come home, much less quit. He had been trying to rip apart his son and Rory, now Mitchum had succeeded. The distance was tearing up Rory inside, and she knew Logan wasn't doing so well with a mere short, simple phone call a day. That was again Mitchum's fault; he kept Logan busy with meetings and conferences that he barely had anytime to sleep. That was the elder Huntzberger's plan all right. Logan and Rory had only been apart for a month, and they couldn't make it.

Rory was silently cursing Mitchum, why did he have to be such an ass? Wasn't it bad enough that his family attacked her, and said she wasn't good enough, when everyone knew she was better than a housewife? Or when he told her she didn't have 'it? How dare he, she worked her whole life dedicated to excellence and to have Mitchum Huntzberger, king of the newspaper world, tell her she didn't have what it takes? Wasn't that all enough, did he really have to go and tear his son and herself apart just because he didn't think it was a "suitable" match?

She also started to blame herself, and Logan. They could have stuck it out. Together, they could have proved his "holier- then- thou" father wrong. Rory briefly considered calling Logan back, and told him that they could make it. She extinguished the idea and figured it was no use, it was already over and he would be back in 11 months. When he comes back, they'll see where it takes them. For now, their relationship is over. Mitchum won.

Rory decided to go to bed, maybe she would wake up, and this would all just be a dream. And Logan would be right next to her, instead of a cold area on his side of the bed.

----- -----

The next couple of days went by in a haze for Rory. She knew she had to move on, but how? She figured she might as well go out and have fun like the old days, exept without Logan by her side. Rory moved our of Logan's apartment and back in with Paris, that was a step, right? She was walking to the newsroom with her trusty coffee, which seemed to always have her back.

"Aye, Rory!"

She turned around at the sound of a familiar voice, "Hey Finn, hey Colin. What's up?"

"Well, we heard about you and Logan-"

"That fast?' Rory interrupted Colin.

"Yes, news travels fast around here, love," Finn scratched his head before continuing, "Anyways, we thought you should come out with us tonight. It'll just be Colin, you and myself at the Pub. What do you say, Rory?"

She thought about this for a moment, it was what she needed to move on, "Yes, sure I'll go." Rory nodded her head and put on a little fake smile that fooled anyone, exept maybe her mother, Lane, and Logan. It would be hard; being that Colin and Finn are both friends she met through Logan.

"Great, meet us at seven!" Colin and Finn walked off to nobody knows where.

Rory walked into the newsroom, it was surprisingly quiet today. It gave her time to think about Logan, much to her dismay. Suddenly, Rory became slightly nauseated and she figured it was on account of all of the crying she had gone through the past couple of days. The nausea was becoming more intense, and Rory ran to the bathroom and leaned over the porcelain toilet. After her stomach fully rid itself of its contents, she sat on the cold tile floor and leaned against the stall door. She thought to herself that this couldn't become a usual habit and reminded herself for the 3rd time, she had to forget about him.

Rory exited the stall and looked at herself in the mirror, she looked like hell. Her eyes had dark circles under them and her pale face had a slight green tint to it, but maybe because that was the color of the bathroom reflecting on her skin. She splashed water on her face and gargled some warm water to try and get rid of the nasty taste in her mouth. Rory walked back out into the newsroom and decided that she wouldn't get much done today, and there was hardly anybody there, so she grabbed her bag and left.

When she got to hers and Paris's apartment, it was already half past noon. Rory suddenly felt a wave of exhaustion come over her and figured she should take a nap and a shower before she left for the Pub.

----- -----

"Hey, Rory, over here!" Colin called out, already on his third beer.

"Hey, sorry I'm late, I took a longer nap then I expected and I had to take a shower, and by the time I left it was 10 minutes past seven," Rory started rambling off.

"Okay, I don't exactly know what you just said, but have a drink," Finn stated.

"He's already drunk? Colin, how did you let him get drunk that fast?"

"Well, one, its Finn. Two, you were late and we got here early so, it's really not that fast," Colin said matter-of-factly.

"Very true."

"Well, love, I can't exactly recall you name, but sit and have a drink."

"Finn, I am sitting," Rory said, confused.

"Uh, right." Finn finished off his martini and Colin stopped him from going back to the bar.

"You can give it a rest for a few minutes," Colin told Finn, and made him sit back down.

"Not possible, mate." Finn tried to get up again, but Colin immediately grabbed his arm and made him sit back down. Finn then proceeded to pout while Rory laughed at him.

"So, Rory, want anything to drink?" Colin asked, ignoring Finn's pleas to get anything alcoholic.

"Um, maybe just a water."

"No alcohol?" Finn asked, amazed.

"No, I've been sick lately."

"Understandable, be right back. Oh, and don't let Finn get up, whatever you do." Colin left to get the water.

Finn decided to be sneaky, and tried to slowly get up from his chair to go to the bar, but Roy immediately glared at him and he sat back down. Colin shortly returned and gave Rory her water, and he made Finn happy and gave him a beer. Rory started to feel a little dizzy and light headed, and she put her hand to her temple and make a weird face, like she was confused or hurt in some way.

"Rory, are you okay?" Colin asked, noticing Rory's facial expression, "Rory? Rory?"

She wasn't answering, Colin tried to stand her up and take her home, but as soon as he picked her up she passed out. He lowered her to the floor and splashed a little water on her face, but she wasn't waking up. Finn came semi out of his drunken state and tried to help Colin with Rory. The Pub was surrounding them, trying to figure out what was wrong.

"Finn, call an ambulance!"

----- -----

At the hospital, Colin and Finn were nervously waiting on news about Rory. Then, a nurse came into the waiting room.

"Family of Rory Gilmore?" Colin and Finn lied and said that they were her brothers so they could get more information.

"Yes, that's us." Colin and Finn rushed toward the nurse, wanting to know if she will be ok.

"She's awake now, if you would like to see her she's down the hall, first door on your left. A doctor should be in there shortly."

"Thank you." The boys said in unison as they walked quickly towards Rory's room.

They found her in those ugly hospital gowns laying in a bed and fidgeting with her paper name bracelet.

"Hey guys."

"Hello, love, how are you feeling?" Finn said.

"Okay I guess, so what happened?"

"You passed out in the Pub, you made quite the scene young lady." Colin laughed as an attempt to try to lighten the mood.

Rory giggled and flashed a smile when the doctor came in.

"Hello Miss Gilmore, I am doctor Keithe, and these two are your…?"

"Brothers," Finn answered quickly. Rory glanced at him, confused, but shrugged it off and figured they were using a family relation to stay with her.

"Okay, moving along, now, I'm going to ask you a few personal questions and if your brothers feel uncomfortable, or you do, then they may exit and come back when I'm done asking questions."

"We're not 13, I think we know all about girls and their… personals." Colin stated, and Finn nodded in agreement.

"Right, well then, Rory when was your last period?"

"I do not feel comfortable about this!" Finn said, slightly disturbed and went into the hall. Rory and Colin laughed at him.

"Well, I don't know, a few weeks ago maybe? But I've been stressed so I didn't think much of it. But I did have one a couple of days ago but it didn't last long," Rory told the doctor; she was confused on how this was relevant to her passing out.

"Ok, when's the last time you have had sexual intercourse?"

"What? How is this relevant!" Rory yelled.

"Miss Gilmore, these are just routine questions."

"Oh, um, well then, sorry. The night before my ex-boyfriend went to London. So, about a little over a month ago." Rory looked down at her hands, which were folded down on her lap. Colin squeezed her shoulder for re-assurance.

"Do you have a medical history of: …" Dr. Keithe gave a long list of health problems and diseases.

"Not that I know of, and I don't think a coffee addiction counts. I don't really know my dad's side of the family, so I'm not really sure."

"That's okay, do you wear contacts or glasses?" Dr. Keithe continued to ask a series of questions before asking Finn to come back into the room while he went off to the lab to get Rory's test results.

"Hello Finn!" Rory exclaimed, mocking him for leaving so quickly.

"I have no desire to know any of that. I like to pretend girls don't have that experience."

"Well, Finn get used to it. I have sisters, and once you live with a girl you hear about it all the time."

"I am never getting married," Finn declared. The three laughed in amusement.

"I wonder what's wrong with me, if its not stress," Rory said, looking at the ceiling.

"Like you said, it probably is just stress. Don't worry about it. You'll be fine," Colin assured her.

The three sat in silence for a while, and then Dr. Keithe walked back in.

"Well Miss Gilmore, I have your tests results. It appears you are fine, however," The doctor was flipping through her chart and continued, "congratulations."

"What?" Rory said, confused. What did she need to be congratulated for?

"Well, it appears through a series of tests, you are pregnant."

Finn looked slightly unnerved, and Colin and Rory's mouths both dropped open.

"But- I- had a 'time'," Rory said, carefully using her words so Finn wouldn't walk out again.

"Well," Finn quickly covered his ears, "Some women have spotting. Again, congratulations. Now, you may get dressed and go upstairs to room 213, there you may have a sonogram taken." Dr. Keithe exited the room, smiling back at Rory.

Colin and Finn went out into the hall, stunned, to give Rory space to change out of her hospital gown. Rory was completely at loss for words. What was she going to tell Logan? Was she even going to tell Logan? What was she going to do? Keep it? She couldn't keep it; she reminded herself that she had school to finish and a career to begin. She would not get 'rid' of it; she would have the baby, but put it up for adoption. There was no way she could go through with the other way. But whatever she did, she thought it would be best if Logan knew. He deserved to know.

The two boys noticed Rory step into the hallway. Colin put a protective arm around her while Finn rubbed her back.

"Are you okay?" Colin asked as they started walking towards the stairs.

"No, I'm not sure what to do. I'm scared," The boys hugged her as the tears started to fall, "What about Logan?"

"I don't know, love. He needs to know. We'll be there for you when you tell him, if you want us to," Finn told her, and Rory nodded as they continued down the hall.

They soon reached room 213. Rory was anxious yet dreading this moment; once she saw the sonogram it would be real. Rory felt like this was all a dream, and that she would wake up at anytime, but once she saw that picture, it would confirm that it wasn't a dream and this was really happening to her.

"Hello, I am Dr. Grey, you must be Miss Gilmore, and her brothers. Rory please lay down," the doctor instructed. Rory was gripping Colin's hand and Finn had his hand on her shoulder for support. "This may feel a little cold," The nurse said. She put some cold gel on her stomach. Rory, Colin and Finn sat in silence while Dr. Grey moved the wand on Rory's abdomen. Finn was looking at the floor, Colin was looking at the ceiling, and Rory was focused on anything but the screen.

"Is there something wrong, doctor?" Rory asked, noticing the concerned look on the doctors' face. Colin and Finn looked up at the doctor, hearing Rory's question. They looked afraid for Rory, and concerned.

The doctor took a few moments to answer, she was squinting at the screen, "I'm sorry, but I don't see a heartbeat."

----- -----

Rory, Colin, and Finn left the hospital in silence. The boys didn't know what to say to Rory, and she had been rendered speechless for the second time that night. She couldn't find the right words to say, and when she thought she did, she couldn't voice them. Colin and Finn flanked Rory on the way to the car. They were in an uncomfortable silence all the way to Rory's apartment. Not wanting her to be alone, the guys silently decided to walk Rory inside, after hugging them goodbye and thanking them for being there, Rory went straight to her room and locked the door. She wanted to be alone.

Rory buried herself in her blankets and silently cried. The thoughts kept swimming around in her mind, plaguing her. She found herself blaming Logan for leaving, and the world for being so cruel for doing this to her. She blamed herself, for not knowing. If she knew, she could have taken better care of herself and not let stress get to her. Rory curled herself up into a ball, and started crying harder, her sobs racking her body. Her hand went to her stomach and she suddenly felt empty.

Her tears were becoming less frequent and her sobs were becoming quiet. In a way, Rory felt relieved. She wouldn't have to talk to Logan, or go through the pain of giving her baby away to some stranger. She didn't even like kids. When Sookie went into labor, she was completely disturbed and couldn't even open her eyes. That was with other people's kids, this one would be hers.

Her sobs were becoming louder again. She thought if it was a boy or a girl. If he or she would have her blue eyes, or Logan's chocolate ones. If the baby would have blonde or brunette hair. She wondered if it would have her coffee addiction, and Logan's thrill for life. She pictured what he or she would look like at high school graduation, and if it would go to Yale. She thought if it would have a knack for journalism. Rory wondered if Logan would be there, and if he'd let her give their baby up. She thought about the life her baby would never have.

Rory fell asleep, her eyes heavy and her body tired from crying. She dreamed of the baby carriers that she'd never carry. About the car seats she'd never drive. The strollers that she'd never push along in the park with Logan by her side. And the baby she had lost…

…But that was all nearly a year ago.