Because you've been thinking about it too.
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A Naruto x Pokemon Crossover by Rike-sama.
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Summary: All hell breaks loose when an unsuspecting Sakura stumbles across a cute little fox… with nine tails. What on earth is going on? Naruto x Pokemon X-Over, semi-CRACK. The Fourth Wall exploded.
DISCLAIMER:
I own neither Pokemon nor Naruto. Anyone who claims otherwise… is obviously oblivious to my age and gender. XP
AUTHOR's NOTE: Ah, another of my silly stories. I don't know where this came from, and I'm sorry if it's been done before. In fact, I'm sure it's been done a million times… I couldn't help myself, though. Just so you know: my first language is German, so any and all mistakes I make/made are to be excused. XP Oh, as a warning: there will be plenty of OOC-ness and tiny hints of yaoi. Oh, and some foul language. Leave if it bothers you in any way.
ENJOY!
NINE TAILS
Sooner or later, everybody screws up.
It's only human, after all. And well, you know the drill: Nobody's perfect. Except breathtakingly beautiful Mary Sue with her ugly inner demons and her amazing hidden powers that rival those of the Gods, but, ah, that's not the point right now. The point is: it's only natural to have flaws and to make mistakes.
So, that's why the higher-ups of the multiverse weren't really surprised when two of their over-worked and underpaid employees majorly messed up. They had known since, like, forever that something like this was bound to happen – especially when it came to these two slobs that couldn't even carry out such a simple task as maintaining the balance between the worlds in the multiverse.
Seriously, it was pathetic. They were pathetic. It was a miracle this hadn't happened sooner.
Well, whatever. So now the worlds were out of control and going crazy like you won't believe it – strange things were happening as a result of this. Very, very strange things. Some of them involved stuff you might find under your bed going on a violent rampage and squirrels trying to conquer all, and others involved… well, uh, let's not go there. Just know that it wasn't pretty and it took ages to get the chocolate sauce and the ketchup out of the carpet.
Yeah, it was that bad.
One of those strange things – albeit a significantly less scary one – was the sudden appearance of a small fluffy bundle of red fur in a world it wasn't supposed to ever be a part of. Amber eyes opened slowly and groggily. A moist snout sniffed the air curiously as the creature staggered to its feet and tentatively started walking.
That's when the trouble started.
x—o—x—o—x—o—x
A girl with the most curious pink hair was strolling across an open field, a happy bounce to her step and a soft song on her lips. She was wearing a red dress that kind of clashed with the colour of her hair, but she didn't seem to care all that much. The forhead-protector she had tied around her head was humming in the warm afternoon sunlight.
You probably recognized her by now. The hair tends to give her away instantly. Yeah, that's right, that girl there was Haruno Sakura, the only female member of the infamous Team 7 and honorary member of the Konoha Union of Uchiha Sasuke fangirls. She was loved by many and hated by more – and she had a slightly crazy split-personality that threatened to emerge from time to time but had never quite managed to actually show yet.
So, Sakura was taking a stroll. Why wasn't she on a mission or in Konoha, you ask? Well, maybe it was her day off or something and she had wanted to leave the busy streets of the village behind for a while. Or maybe it was a plot hole. Maybe it was even a plot device.
Well, details like that don't really matter in the long run anyway, so what the hell.
Sakura let out a delighted squeal that might or might not have been "Oh! How pretty!" as she crouched down to admire some flowers she had spotted. She was marvelling at the beauty of a particularly nice one when suddenly she felt a presence not too far away. The girl immediately swivelled her head around and reached for the kunai holster attached to her leg – and then, upon the sight that greeted her, she relaxed visibly.
"Just a fox", she mumbled quietly to herself. And indeed, a small cuddly fox cub was sitting there, maybe two or three meters away, giant ears twitching slightly and amber eyes firmly fixed upon her. Just a cute little fox, Sakura told herself to calm her beating heart. An absolutely adorable, innocent little fox cub. With… nine tails.
Her eyes widened. Nine tails?, her mind shrieked. That can't be right! The pink-haired kunoichi quickly sprung to her feet. For a moment or two she couldn't do anything but stare at the seemingly harmless fox looking up at her with huge eyes.
Surely I'm seeing things!, she tried to stop herself from panicking. But even after she had thoroughly rubbed her eyes – twice – they were still there: nine tails, innocently swishing around a little, the sunlight making them practically glow. Nine tails. A fox with nine tails! Sitting in front of me!
Finally, the whole thing registered in her brain and she screamed and then she made a bolt for it – she had to get away, as fast and as far as possible! That thing there had to be the Kyuubi and it was back and it was gonna kill her and eat her and destroy them all if she didn't warn the village and—
As the dust Sakura's sudden departure had raised settled down again the poor, confused fox blinked dumbly and cocked its head to the side curiously. "Vulpix?", it asked itself, not quite getting what was going on.
x—o—x—o—x—o—x
"Woah! How did we end up here?"
Truly a brilliant question, Naruto. Everyone's favourite black-haired emo prodigy, though, didn't even consider gracing it with an answer. Instead, he muttered "Idiot, shut up." like the little brooding bastard that he is.
Konoha's loudest and most obnoxious ninja largely ignored the insult – and people all around the world got very, very cold – because, well, if Sasuke passed up on an opportunity to mock his blond teammate's ignorance, then it must mean that he didn't know either. And that thought put Naruto in a good mood. A really good mood.
What Naruto didn't know was that Sasuke, in fact, knew exactly how they had ended up where they had. It was a Sharingan thing, you know. Right now he was calmly watching the authoress through the Fourth Wall as she typed away furiously. Absent-mindedly, he was wondering what the hell she was thinking, making them just appear here without any explanation at all. If she continued disregarding all those plot holes she kept creating, the whole story was gonna collapse back upon itself.
Hell, at the rate she was going, even Naruto would get what was going on soon.
Said whiskered blonde was currently taking another look around. They were standing in a lush meadow that seemed to stretch on endlessly towards the horizon in all directions. Naruto's brows furrowed in thought. "I mean, one second we're at the training grounds, and the next, BAM, we're here – wherever 'here' is. Don't cha think that's a little fishy?"
Sasuke didn't answer. Naruto didn't mind though, he continued with his little monologue regardless. "You know, we're not even close to Konoha anymore – there aren't any trees here at all!" The blonde pulled at his hair in frustration before adding in a quieter voice: "In fact, I don't think we're still in the Fire Country…"
The last living Uchiha – Itachi doesn't count because he's more of a bastard than Sasuke will ever be – raised an eyebrow. Don't tell me the idiot is catching on…?, he thought doubtfully.
Naruto gasped and clapped his hands. "I know!", he cried. Then he looked up at his taller teammate and said: "Hey, hey, Sasuke, do you think we've been kidnapped by aliens so they could experiment on us and when they were done they dropped us off here, but we don't remember a thing about being up there because they used some kind of laser to erase our memories? Like in that one movie? I watched it only last week, what was it called again…?"
Guess not, Sasuke thought dryly. Had he not been an Uchiha, he would have sweatdropped heavily. But seeing as he was, there was only a light twitch right under his left eye that betrayed his thoughts.
"Oh God, what if they messed around with our brains! What if they injected us some deadly virus or something to wipe out the entire human race? Sasuke, do you think they—"
"Naruto…", Sasuke growled, the twitch close to his eye growing more pronounced directly proportional to his growing annoyance with the blonde. "Just shut up and don't be ridiculous. Idiot."
"Hey, I'm being serious here, you know!", Naruto cried with indignation. Almost as an afterthought, he added: "And don't call me idiot. Bastard."
They were silent for a while. Sasuke was glaring slightly at the authoress behind her Fourth Wall for putting him into this dumb story and putting even dumber thoughts into Naruto's empty blond head. Naruto, in the meanwhile, was fidgeting around nervously – from the silence or from the looming threat of those aliens returning? We shall never know.
"You know, Sasuke…", the whiskered blonde spoke up with a meekness that seemed so out-of-character for him that it made the Uchiha look at him. "I'm still worried about those aliens." Well, what do you know. Guess it was the aliens after all and not the silence. Maybe Naruto should stop watching horror movies that deal with visitors from other worlds, eh?
Sasuke was positive that he'd be popping a vein soon. Or maybe kill Naruto in an excrutiatingly painful way – involving 72 hours of Sharingan torture, five plastic spoons and two one-legged camels. Whichever came first. "Look, shouldn't you be more worried about Kakashi-sensei and Sakura?"
Naruto blinked, his lips forming a startled 'o'. "Ah, you're right! Where are they anyways?"
"Obviously I do not know either, you moron." Judging from the way he had hissed that out between clenched teeth, Sasuke was not a particularly happy camper. Actually, the glint in his eyes was becoming a little creepy. Use your younger siblings as human shields now or suffer the consequences later. No, seriously. Do it. And if you don't have any younger siblings… hide under your desk.
Naruto had been about to deliver a fitting retort when a third voice spoke up and rudely interrupted him. "Hey, guys. What were you talking about?" Slightly startled by the sudden appearance, the blonde turned around to face one of his fellow Konoha shinobi – Inuzuka Kiba, accompanied by his loyal partner Akamaru – while Sasuke shot the authoress a pointed look.
"Kiba!", Naruto yelled, clutching at his racing heart. "Don't sneak up on people like that! I swear, one of these days you're gonna make me have a heart attack…"
"Sorry, man…", Kiba said distractedly, taking a good look around.
"Just make some sort of sound next time. Or something." Then, a slight frown settled across the blond ninja's face. "Hey, why are you here anyways? Did the aliens kidnap you too?"
It wasn't surprising that Kiba seemed genuinely confused. "Wha…? Aliens?", he parroted. You could almost see the little question marks dancing over his head. In fact, if you squint real hard, you will see them.
"Nevermind…", Naruto sweatdropped.
Kiba still seemed a little caught off guard, but he decided to ignore the whole thing. "Right." Naruto could be really weird at times after all.
"So…", Konoha's loudest ninja said. "Why are you really here?"
The Inuzuka cocked his head to the side and raised an eyebrow at the blonde. "Well, plothole. Duh."
This time, it was Naruto's turn to be confused about things. He blinked in a slightly curious way and repeated what Kiba had said. "Plot… hole? What the hell?"
Sasuke contemplated using his strongest fire jutsu to melt down that goddamn Fourth Wall only to maul that stupid authoress for making these idiots have this conversation. And while he was at it, he could also give her hell for putting him into this annoying story.
Kiba, meanwhile, was staring at Naruto rather oddly. "You're kidding, right?", he said incredulously. He only received a blank look. "You seriously don't know…?" A shake of the head. "Wow… then, uhm… ah, nevermind. Too complicated to explain."
"Oh, come on! Tell me!", Naruto yelled.
"I told you: It's way too complicated!", Kiba retorted angrily. "Besides, you'll find out on your own eventually, so don't sweat it." Akamaru yipped in agreement. Why? Because he didn't do anything yet, that's why.
"But—"
"Naruto…", Sasuke half-growled and half-sighed. "Just let it go." The Uchiha prodigy was getting fed up. Mainly because there didn't seem to be a point to this whole thing. He suspected it was one of those stories again – the kind where even the authoress herself didn't know where it was going.
Of course, that had Naruto bristling with anger. "Don't tell me what to do, bastard!" Yeah, their conversations get rather repititive after a while – no fun to type at all. It's always Naruto does something, Sasuke comments, Naruto gets mad. Lather, rinse, repeat. An endless cycle, so to speak. Boring.
Eh. You saw/heard/read nothing…
Saving Sasuke from Naruto's wrath, Kiba changed the topic: "So, you never answered my question, fox-face. What were you guys talking about?"
"Why do you want to know so badly, dog-breath?", the blonde asked exasperated, momentarily sparing Sasuke, who was back to glowering at a certain someone behind a certain wall.
Kiba's eyes narrowed dangerously. "Plot. De. Vice.", he hissed in a low tone of voice. "Now answer the fucking question!"
The Inuzuka weren't known for their patience. Actually, they were known for their lack thereof. And well, Naruto was getting on Kiba's nerves. In fact, everything about this situation got on his nerves! Hell, even Sasuke got on the dog boy's nerves, and he wasn't even doing anything – just staring off darkly into a seemingly random direction, which was kind of odd, come to think of it… but who cared.
"Jeez, fine!", Naruto snapped touchily. "Look, we were wondering where Sakura-chan and Kakashi-sensei disappeared to, okay? There, you happy now?"
That was the cue for the loud and extremely high-pitched "Aaaaaaaaaaaah!" the authoress had been trying to type for a few paragraphs now.
The blonde jumped in surprise and turned to look into the direction the scream had come from. A pink and red blur was advancing quickly, obviously panicking about something. "Guess that partially answers my question…", he muttered under his breath as Sakura whizzed past him and glomped onto Sasuke.
The black-haired prodigy must have been expecting this because he didn't even stagger from the force of having someone throw themselves at him with all their weight. All he did was develop another twitch when Sakura put her arms around his neck and started mumbling incomprehensible stuff into his shirt.
Naruto, annoyed by the lack of space between his two teammates, stomped over to them and gently pried Sakura away from Sasuke. She wouldn't let go completely, but at least he got her to cling only to the Uchiha's arm. "Sakura-chan, what happened?", the whiskered blonde asked, a bit unnerved by the scared look in her eyes.
"The Kyuubi!", she whispered anxiously, not noticing Naruto wincing slightly at the mention of the demon fox. "I saw it! It's back!"
"What?", Naruto asked disbelievingly. "You're joking, right?"
"No, I'm not! I swear, it was there – it was a fox with nine tails and it sat there and it was staring at me!", Sakura said in a hurry, not even taking the time to breath between her words. She shuddered and clutched Sasuke's arm a bit closer to her chest. "You won't believe how scary it was! Oh God, we're as good as dead!"
While the pink-haired kunoichi started her babbling again, Naruto opened and closed his mouth without making any sound three or four times before finally yanking up his shirt. Ignoring Kiba and Sakura's confused questions he slowly traced his index finger over the familiar pattern of the seal on his belly. It's still there. He sighed in relief and felt the tight knot that had formed in stomach dissolve.
"It's not possible that that was the Kyuubi!", he informed everyone cheerily while straightening his shirt again. "You must have imagined these extra tails, Sakura-chan! There's no way that that fox was the Kyuubi!" He laughed reassuringly – it was a rather fake sound – and put his arms behind his head.
"I didn't imagine them, you idiot! They were there!", Sakura cried. "Besides, how can you be so sure it wasn't the Kyuubi? And what was that weird thing on your stomach?"
"I…", Naruto said, staring at his teammate with wide eyes and feeling his earlier panic returning. Oh shit!, he thought while biting his lower lip. His eyes darted around, frantically searching for a distraction of some sorts – anything to get everyone's attention off of him. They're not supposed to know! I don't want them to know! Crap, what am I gonna do?
"What's that about the Kyuubi?", a lazy voice drawled right next to Naruto's ear. He gave an embarrassing unmanly squeak and whipped around to find his silver-haired teacher standing behind him, managing to look alert even though he was practically burying his nose in his beloved but utterly perverted Icha Icha Paradise.
Naruto tried to calm his poor, poor heart after the shock of having somebody pop out of thin air so close to him and mumbled: "What, is it sneak-up-on-Naruto-day and nobody bothered to tell me…?"
"Kakashi-sensei!", Sakura cried and let go of Sasuke's arm in order to rush towards her teacher. "The Kyuubi's back, I saw it lurking around somewhere that way!" She pointed wildly into the direction she had come from and nearly poked Kiba's eyes out during the process.
"Hey, watch it!"
Kakashi's one visible eye narrowed and he quickly pocketed his orange book. "Are you sure?"
He watched his pink-haired student nod her head in confirmation. Huh, he though. Not good. Now, let's see… The Jounin turned to Naruto and promptly yanked his shirt up in one swift motion, ignoring the blonde's cries, and closely examined the seal on his student's stomach. When he couldn't detect any obvious changes in its pattern he let go of a flustered Naruto's shirt.
The Kyuubi container grumbled about stupid, perverted teachers while he straightened his abused shirt yet again. He could feel Sasuke and Kiba – and even Akamaru – giving him odd looks, but he chose to act like he didn't notice. Sakura, meanwhile, was still nervously awaiting Kakashi's assessment of their current situation.
"I doubt that what you saw was the Kyuubi, Sakura.", the silver-haired Jounin said after a while. "Trust me, you'd know if it was nearby. It has a very distinctive chakra signature. So don't worry about it anymore." As if to emphasize his statement and show her just how relaxed he was, he reached into his pocket to pull Icha Icha Paradise out again.
When she heard the perverted giggle Kakashi gave as he opened his book, Inner Sakura made a slightly disgusted face while Outer Sakura decided to be a good little student and trust her teacher. "Okay…", she said quietly, still not entirely convinced.
"Of course it wasn't the Kyuubi.", Kiba remarked, gently scratching his partner behind the ears. "I mean, the only thing that vaguely smells of fox around here is Naruto. Right, Akamaru?"
Sakura and the Inuzuka didn't notice Naruto flinching at that – Sasuke did, though. He had given up on trying to kill the authoress with the glares he shot her and instead had been looking at the blonde closely since he was still curious about why both Naruto himself and Kakashi had taken such great interest in the mark on Naruto's stomach once Sakura had mentioned the Kyuubi. Really, it was pretty fishy and he was getting suspicious.
Oh yeah, Kakashi noticed too, even though he wasn't even looking at Naruto. It was a Sharingan thing. Because the Sharingan makes people all-powerful and omniscient And dead sexy. Yeah, that's right. No, the authoress doesn't know what that has to do with anything either.
Ah, back to the story, eh?
Loud barking ensued and Kiba put on a sceptical frown as he looked at Akamaru. "What do you mean, you do smell a fox?" Everyone's attention promptly turned onto the pair. "In that direction?", the Inuzuka said and his loyal puppy barked once in affirmation. Kiba's frown deepened as he stared in the direction Sakura had come from earlier. He sniffed the air, and then his eyes widened considerably.
"Uh, Kiba?", Sakura asked tentatively. "Do you smell something…?"
"Holy shit…", the brown-haired boy whispered. Apparently he hadn't even heard Sakura's question. "Akamaru, you're right!" He turned to his increasingly uncomfortable fellow shinobi and said: "Guys, there's something approaching. Smells like a fox, but not a normal one – maybe Sakura was right…"
That had everyone on edge again. "But", an alarmed Naruto interjected. "That can't be! There's gotta be some sort of—" He paused and stared at something maybe five or six meters away. Sakura had noticed too, because she shrieked and immediately glomped back onto a tense Sasuke.
Amber eyes set above a fox's snout were staring up at our favourite blonde. The creature itself didn't look very threatening actually, what with its ears twitching cutely and all that. The only thing that came across as a little menacing were the fox-like creature's furry tails… And their number:
There were nine of them.
x—o—x—o—x—o—x
So there they were: five shinobi, one dog and one not-so-normal fox standing on a rather huge plain. For a long, long time nobody did anything but stare and if Sakura hadn't sneezed suddenly and thus broken the spell, this might have gone on for a while or two.
But as it was, the fox-like creature was roused from its staring and started moving towards them – towards Naruto, actually. For every step the strange fox took towards him the blond shinobi took one away from it. This continued for maybe seven or eight steps – then a high-pitched shriek from Sakura halted the fox's movements.
"Vulpix?", it seemed to ask. It sounded innocent enough, but it still caused the pink-haired kunoichi to squeak and snuggle deeper into the body next to her – which just so happened to be Sasuke's. The boy was torn between frowning in disapproval and reaching for his weapons.
Another person – or rather, dog – was torn between two things as well. It was Akamaru. He didn't know whether he should growl at the vulpine creature before them or whether he should be wagging his tail, so he didn't do anything at all, which kind of worried Kiba a little.
Then there was Kakashi – but he looked pretty relaxed, which was odd considering the anxiety of his fellow Konoha ninja. In fact, he was so relaxed, that he seemed close to getting back to reading his pervy book.
When Sakura didn't do anything to further distract it, the weird fox resumed walking towards Naruto. In the exact same moment, a croaking crow whizzed past Naruto's ear unnaturally close and startled him. So, of course, when he turned his attention back onto the fox he was pretty shocked to find that it was now practically sitting on his feet.
"Uwaah!" In fact, he was so shocked that he jumped nearly two feet into the air and then proceeded to scramble for cover behind a semi-amused Uchiha's back, almost tripping over a non-existant root on his way there. Clutching onto his teammate's shirt, he rather felt than heard the other boy chuckle quietly. "D-don't laugh!", the Kyuubi container cried, red-faced. "It's not funny!"
All Sasuke said in response to that was "Hn.", which – for whatever reasons – made Naruto blush harder. He jerked away from the taller Uchiha aprubtly and started playing with the hem of his own shirt. "It's not funny…", he repeated, this time more quietly and without any of his former anger.
The silence that ensued after the little scene caused by the two rivals and sometimes friends was pretty awkward. Apparently, even the strange fox could feel the tension in the air because it made a pitiful sound that was a cross between a whine and a mewl. That, of course, made everyone remember the more pressing matter at hand and several gazes zeroed back in on the creature.
Before anyone could decide on what action to take next, Akamaru started trying to struggle out of Kiba's hold. The somewhat surprised Inuzuka let him go and watched intently as the white puppy started circling the vulpine creature that reminded everyone so strongly of the Kyuubi. After a mintue of sniffing it, Akamaru came to a conclusion and sat down in front of the creature, tail wagging and tongue lolling lazily out of his mouth as he was panting happily.
"That's funny…", Kiba muttered. Feeling his fellow Shinobis' questioning gazes on him he bent down and came to sit in a crouch next to his loyal dog. "Kiba!", Sakura said sounding a bit alarmed as he slowly reached out to scratch the Kyuubi-lookalike behind the ears.
Everyone was pretty baffled when it made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a purr and pressed its head closer to the Inuzuka's hand. "Vul!", it said, which, strangely enough, made the dog-boy smile. After a while, he stopped petting it and stood back up. "It's harmless.", he proclaimed.
"You sure about that?", Sakura said and reluctantly let go of Sasuke's arm.
"Yep."
The pink-haired girl still seemed a bit unconvinced, though. She bit her lip in worry as she watched Akamaru nudge the strange creature with his snout. They soon ended up chasing each other across the grass playfully, one barking and the other giving strange cries that sounded a lot like "Vul, Vulpix!".
"I don't know…", she muttered. Then, in a louder voice, she added: "What about its tails? I mean, it's not normal for a fox to have nine tails, is it?"
Kiba paused and scratched his head. "True.", he agreed. "You think it's a demon after all? Maybe even the Kyuubi?"
"I highly doubt it.", Kakashi put in thoughtfully. "I really doubt it's the Kyuubi. It could be another demon. Of course, it might also be some sort of summon…" He paused to turn a page of his beloved Icha Icha Paradise. "At any rate", he continued after giving a disturbing little chuckle. "it's still very young. Whatever it is, and even if it is a demon, I believe it is possible to raise it in such a way that it won't cause any harm."
"So you're suggesting we keep it!", Naruto, who had been uncharacteristically quiet for a while now, spoke up, his eyes a little wider than usually. He obviously didn't like the idea much.
Kakashi didn't respond but had looked up from his reading. The odd thing was that he wasn't looking into Naruto's face but rather at something around the level of his knees. The blonde felt his brows draw together of their own volition to form a confused frown. Then he looked down to see what the hell his teacher's problem was.
He gave a very unmanly squeak as he – for the umpteenth time that day – noticed a pair of big, amber eyes staring up at him expectantly. The blonde was close to hiding behind Sasuke again, but what was left of his dignity wouldn't have any of that. Poor Naruto. Everything's out to give him a good scare today…
Kiba smirked at the shorter boy's obvious discomfort. With a smug look on his face he said: "I think it wants you to pick it up." As if to confirm what he said, the vulpine creature started whining pleadingly, cocked its head to the side and gave Naruto the fox equivalent of the puppy-dog-eyes.
Naruto looked at his team, silently praying they'd take mercy on him and get him out of this situation, but Sakura just stared at him with a hand over her mouth, Kakashi was turning another page and Sasuke… was smirking, the stupid bastard. The blond ninja didn't miss the intense look of challenge in the prodigy's eyes, either.
He blushed again. To cover up his embarrassment he childishly stuck his tongue out at Sasuke before looking at the fox at his feet. His mouth suddenly felt dry and he gulped. Stealing himself, he quickly reached down and grabbed the creature under its forelegs, picked it up and held it at arm's lengths, eyeing the furry thing nervously.
It mewled and gave another cheerful cry of "Vulpix!". Naruto stared at it in wonder – the small reddish-brown bundle that seemed to consist mostly of ears, eyes and tails was actually happy to be held by him! Somehow, that struck a chord deep within him and he carefully craddled it to his chest as he felt his eyes go wet. He blinked furiously. "What a strange thing you are…", he muttered so softly that no one was sure if he had said anything at all.
He gave a small, almost melancholy smile when the fox in his arms put its front paws onto his shoulders and gave a quick lick across his cheek. "Hey now!", he chuckled as held the creature at arm's length again. "That tickles, you know.", he gently scolded it before he put it back to his chest, softly petting its head.
Somehow, the scene had been oddly touching and none of his fellow Shinobi had the heart to object when he announced the he really was going to keep the fox. Instead, Sakura asked: "What are you going to name it?"
Naruto looked up at his pink-haired teammate and smiled. This time, his smile seemed happy.
"Kyuubi. I'm going to name it Kyuubi."
x—o—x—o—x—o—x
A few weeks later, a pair of strangers arrived in front of the apartment complex Naruto lived in.
Everything about them – from their appearance to the way they moved – indicated that they weren't from around here. In fact, several passers-by got the impression that these two had stepped right through a portal leading to another world – a world much more ancient than the one they were living in.
Something about those strangers made everyone who saw them picture a giant grandfather clock in a dark and dusty, circular room with a wooden table in the middle. And on that table… a pair of scales, constantly trying to balance itself – trying to keep the balance of the worlds.
There was also something ominous about them, something that gave observers a sense of foreboding, so no one tried to stop them when they used a window carelessly left open to gain access into a certain blonde's apartment.
Now that they had entered, all they did was stand in the middle of Naruto's cramped living space, taking in the slightly shabby interior of the apartment that seemed emoty and sad without its occupant there. Both of them were male, one dressed in black, and the other dressed in a white so bright it was almost blinding.
They had come to correct their mistake – the same mistake that had caused the worlds to go out of balance and that was also the reason for the appearance of the Vulpix Naruto had ended up taking in. Actually, that is not entirely right – they couldn't correct the mistake. A mistake is a mistake, and once it's done it cannot be corrected. Actually, they had come to get rid of the consequences of their mistake.
Which meant they were going to take the Vulpix Naruto had dubbed 'Kyuubi' back to the world it rightfully belonged into. To restore the balance of the worlds. And to prevent things from falling apart.
After what seemed like an eternity – actually it had been an eternity – the one in white finally spoke. "This place is filled with potted plants. The boy living here must be really lonely."
"I don't know about that.", the other countered, gazing at a darkblue shirt resting bunched up on the apartment's floor and, lying next to it, a pouch filled with engraved, beautifully crafted kunai that looked a little too pricy to be the hyperactive blonde's.
The dark-clothed man's companion shot him a confused look. "Pardon me?"
But the man in black ignored him and slowly ventured into the kitchen, inspecting the pair of plates soaking in the sink and the empty carton of milk on the table before turning his attention to the cupboards.
He was interrupted though when his counterpart called him over. "Take a look at this."
The man in the dark clothes reached for the feeding bowl that was being held up by his partner for him to take. He turned it in his hand, looking at it from all sides before finally tracing a finger over the letters that were somewhat messily painted onto it.
He locked eyes with his partner dressed in white and set the bowl back onto the counter whit a soft 'click!'.
The tense silence that followed lasted another eternity before the man in black nodded almost indiscernably. "Well then, I believe our work here is done. Let's go."
The man in white smiled, and together they left the aparment – this time they didn't use the window. As the door fell shut, a stray ray of sunlight hit the feeding bowl sitting on the counter and made the letters on it glow.
Together, they read:
Kyuubi.
x—o—x—o—x—o—x
Damn you, Kyuubi!
On the other side of Konoha, somewhere near the public baths, our favourite dumb blonde was seriously regretting his on-a-whim decision to keep that freaky fox thing. The reason for this sudden change of mind… might or might not be related to the fact that his pants were on fire.
You see, he had been sparring with that bastard, Sasuke – as usual – and his newly acquired pet had been watching them – as usual. Only this time, when Sasuke had knocked him over, poor Naruto had practically landed on top of his pet – the very same pet that had chosen this precise moment to yawn.
Now, that in itself wasn't a bad thing. However, as if with most things, there is a catch…
Because whenever it yawned, his pet… breathed fire. Naruto had been very shocked when he had first found out about the freaky ability his pet possessed – but not as shocked as Rock Lee, who had his eyebrows nearly burned off because he had been sitting too close to Kyuubi. Well, he did look a lot better, now that those scary centipede-like things were trimmed to be of normal size, but he still wasn't very happy with the fox for a while.
There had been other instances were Kyuubi had breathed fire – mostly when it was trying to defend Naruto or felt particularly annoyed with people giving the two of them nasty looks. Hah, the looks on the villager's faces when the nine-tailed fox had started burning things around them! Priceless.
Well, even if it is kind of amusing – in a really odd way – those other times are really beside the point now. Back to Naruto and his burning pants. So, as a result of a string of rather unfortunate events, the most hyperactive ninja in the whole of Konoha was making his way towards the public bathes – and rather quick, might I add.
When he reached the fencing that separated him from the water that would save his life – and, possibly, if they hadn't been damaged beyond repair yet, his pants – he didn't hesitate to jump clear over it. He dove into the hot water that seemed cooling to him and, upon breaking the surface again, gave a great sigh of relief.
That feeling didn't last too long, though. Coming from behind him, he could sense the combined killing intent of at least thirty persons. Uh-oh, Naruto thought, a feeling of dread engulfing him. Gulping loudly, our poor whiskered blonde turned around slowly – only to confirm his suspicions and to face several women. Naked women.
Very naked women.
The death glares they were giving him spoke of the torturous death that was awaiting him. He chuckled nervously and scratched the back of his head, the feeling of dread growing stronger.
"Uhm, whoops?", he tried experimentally.
The women in the bath turned a violent shade of red – not from embarrassment, but from anger. As one, they gave a terrifying war cry that would forever haunt the dreams of all the perverted peeping toms that had been, well, peeping at the moment.
"GET HIM!"
The pained screams and shrieks that ensued indicated just how long it would take Tsunade to patch Naruto back up – even with the help of the real Kyuubi, the one that was sealed inside the blonde.
By the time the women left him battered, bruised and broken on the cold pavement of some back alley, there was only one coherent thought running through Naruto's head - the very same thought that he had been thinking earlier.
Damn you, Kyuubi…
Yes, Vulpix is a Pokémon. And I really, really hope it has the same name in English… If not, you've probably already figured out that it is that one cute fox-like fire Pokémon with the nine tails. XP
As a side note, I have been writing this story on and off for months now – which means I have taken huge breaks. As a result of this, the mood of certain scenes does not quite match with that of other scenes – yes, I am talking about the paragraphs in which Naruto decides to keep the Vulpix compared to the very beginning, compared to the part where the ones who caused all this mess show up.
You see, Naruto wasn't even supposed to take the Vulpix in, "the man in black and the man in white" were supposed to take it back – but suddenly the story got a life of its own and well, Naruto kept it. Then, I wanted to end the story there, but somehow it didn't feel complete – I felt like I still had to tie up some loose ends, so, I added the part about "white and black" going to Naruto's apartment.
But once I had added that, the story in itself didn't feel right anymore, because the mood had changed so drastically over the course of the story… and since it was supposed to be a crack fic to begin with, I decided to add a little something at the end to kind of "lighten up the mood" or something. Essentially, it was supposed to make the whole thing seem one single story, and not two or three of them. I dunno if I succeeded. XD
And another thing before I shut up: I have absolutely no idea where to place this thing in the time line. Since Sasuke's there and they don't really act like the Sasuke's Betrayal Arc is already over, it should be placed before he leaves Konoha, but well, somehow I imagine them older in this fic. Well, whatever. Let's just pretend it takes place in an alternate universe or something. XP
A bunch of chocolate chip cookies and the Wonder Lamp ((genie not included)) will be yours if you can correctly interpret the implications made in the part where "white and black" visit Naruto's apartment!
Now, I'll be off. XD Review if you feel like it.