Keri here! Hi-oh hi-oh! Um, I was thinking of giving this a few more chapters, but I wanted to know what you guys think. If you want me to keep going, then say something. The plot I had in mind if I kept going was that Dib gets pregnant and his dad gets all pissy; but I need, like, a whole story-line plot type thing. So if you want me to keep going, then speak up, and I'll pick what I think is the best plot and use it. Other wise, this is just gonna stay a one-shot.

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This... oh what's the human word for it…sucks? Is that it? Who knows anymore? Not I. I could care less now a days. Sigh. Yes, this certainly does suck. What am I supposed to do; I'm exiled to the far reaches of the galaxy, millions of light years from home, on a planet as worthless as they say I am. Not to mention that Dib hasn't been paying much attention to me lately. Stupid human. How dare he ignore the AMAZING Zim? Well…maybe not so amazing anymore. I'm just starting to realize that I'm not as wonderful, great, or hell, even intelligent as I once thought. Yes, I know, hard to believe, that the Super Amazing Spectacular Invader Zim, is an Irken defect. Oh the cruel…irony? Maybe? Who cares! Certainly not I! Oh well, so anyways, here I lay, in the Dib-human's room, sprawled out on his bed looking up at the ceiling, listening to the sounds downstairs. He beeping of Little-Gaz's video game and the humming of that tea-vee and the light crackling of the fire. Yes, a perfect Christmas. And here I am to make it better.

I don't know why I'm doing this. But I knew I had to make it perfect. I had to wait for an earth holiday, a day where the Dib-human seemed even more depressed. Maybe it was because his father was never home and Gaz be damned if she's going to waste her money on him. So here I am, waiting for Dib to come upstairs. This year, he'll get the ultimate Christmas gift. One to rival all the other (if any) gifts he's received. Yes, victory shall be sweet.

For the Dib, at least.

I listen to his foot falls as he trudges up the stairs, bidding his younger sibling good night. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath, deciding to be nonchalant about the whole thing. Like I said, who cares, I surly don't. Dib opened the door, flipping on the light switch.

"Hello Dib-human." I say, sitting up while Dib yawned. He immediately stopped, reeling back, pointing accusingly at me. What the fuck did I do? Recently. I'm just sitting here saying hello, relax earth-monkey.

"What're you doing here Zim!"

"Sitting."

"Don't play mind games with me!"

"Why afraid you'll lose?" he glared at me. I chuckled under my breath. Check, Dib-human, "Listen, Dib-worm. You and I have been fighting for countless years now…"

"Seven." I shrug,

"Like I was saying, we've been fighting for seven years now, and I think it's time one of us gave up." Dib crossed his arms, sticking his stupid nose up in the air. Such a useless piece of flesh that nose was. Arg, I hate it so much!

"I'm not giving into you, you rotten alien." I smiled, leaning back.

"I know you're not. And I also know that you're probably not going to." I bit my lower lip, "And that is why I have decided to give up." He blinked at me. He was so cute when he was confused.

WAIT! Did I just think that! Gross! Ew! Yuck! I feel like I need to take a hot shower with out paste on! Just sick…hmm…maybe…no! Bad Zim! Keep your eyes on his face! Damn it! Why do my pants feel tighter! Fuck!

"What're you talking about Zim?"

"I…" I swallowed, "The Empire kicked me out. I no longer belong to the Irken race. If I leave the planet," I paused, "they'll kill me." His eyes widened, and then he shook his head.

"You're lying! This is all just some twisted plot to take over the earth! I'm not buying it, Zim!" I stood up, trying my hardest to keep my temper in check.

"I'm not lying, pig-smelly." I walked over to his telescope and looked through it. My house. Of course. I'd half expected it to be pointed at the window of the girl's bedroom next door. What was I thinking? I walked over to the desk and sifted through some papers while Dib grabbed some alien stun gun off his dresser and pointed it at me. What an idiot.

"Put that away, you'll put someone's eye out." I said looking at some pictures of my self. Dib was horribly good with a camera. I look at my self in the mirror and back and the picture, then the mirror again. I've changed so much since this picture was taken. My antenna are longer; my eyes are darker (less pink is what I really mean); I've grown to be at least six feet tall, thankfully, bigger than Dib; and my shirt is now maroon instead of pink. I toss the photo aside and sit back on the human's bed. Dib still had the gun pointed at me. How paranoid could one human possibly be?

"Dib-human, if I wanted to take you out I could've done it hours ago."

"You've been sitting in my room for hours?" I shrugged, not really wanting to answer. Dib slowly lowered the gun and walked over to the bed, sitting on the other side of me as I stretched out again on the mattress.

After a bit he crawled over next to me and lay down. At some point he'd re-hid the gun and changed into his pajamas. He set his glasses on the bed-side table,

"Well, I'm going to bed. I don't care what you do, as long as it causes no harm to anyone who's part of the human race." He lay down with his back to me, but not before flipping a light switch above his head, turning the lights out. I shook my head, kicking off my boots and setting my gloves by his glasses. I slipped down in the sheets too, wrapping my arms around his chest.

"Z-Zim, what're you doing?" he said nervously, his voice cracking. It was so cut-horrible. Horribly disgusting little worm-baby! Blegh!

"Going to bed. I told you, I've given up." He narrowed his eyes at me, as if trying to look straight threw me. After a few seconds he lay back down and I wrapped around him again. Jeeze Dib, calm down. Aw but he's so cute! Wait who the fuck are you! I'm you're human hormones; you want the Dib human, yes? No. Lies! Zim no lie! Fuck him! He's hot and vulnerable! NEVER! C'mon! No. C'mon! No. C'mooooon!

While the war battled in my head, I noticed that I've unconsciously pressed my hips against Dib's ass. Shit. When'd that happen? Oh well, no use trying to get out of it. Dib's gonna suspect something anyways. YES! VICTORY FOR ZIM! No victory for you! You're just mad you lost. Shut up. I slipped my hand up his shirt, nuzzling my chin in the crook of his neck.

"Zim!" He yelled sitting up, pressing his back against the wall; his face was bright red.

"Wuz wrong?" I say sleepily; I've been here almost four hours, gimmie a break.

"Wh-what are you doing?"

"Um…trying to get a cute human to sleep with me." He blushed darker. Okay so he was cute, but just a little bit. As cute as a filthy, smelly, ignorant human pig-smelly can get. Hm…now that I think about it, Dib's pretty clean, and he kind'a smells like fruit, and he was the only one to see past my clever disguise, so he mustn't be THAT bad, right.

"Y-you think I'm cute?" he said, wringing the blankets in his hands. I think I smiled, just a little bit. My mind's goin' kind'a fuzzy. This sucks! I think I'm nodding. I dunno anymore. All I know is that Dib looks really attractive in the moon light. Have his eyes always been so pretty? Shit, am I saying all this out loud? I think I am, fuck! Wait. What's all this? Kissing! Dib's kissing me! Shit, my pants are even tighter now, and why's my face is all warm. Wow, Dib's not a bad kisser. When'd I roll on top of him? Oh well. I really don't care. Dib's tongue tastes good, kind'a like pie. Did Dib eat pie before coming up? Probably. How'd he get undressed and when'd I start licking his stomach?

Why'd I come over here again?

Okay, now my clothes are gone. Wow Dib looks really hot without clothes on. Tasty. Why do I wanna mate with him so bad! Arg! My head hurts. To much thinking. Thinking hurts my head. Allot. Mmm, that feels good Dib. Hm, my fingers are wet now. Hmmm…let's stick those up here. Dib moaned arching his back into my hand. Oh I like that. I move my fingers in and out of him some more, faster and harder, Dib likes it too by the look on his face. Mmm, moaning, yes, I want more of that. I guess that means I have to stop fingering him then? Damn. Hmm, I only have one other thing to stick up him, heh. Let's try that. Dib slammed his lips on mine again as I slide my dick into him. Heh, he's trying to muffle his scream. I can still hear you Dib-worm. Go right ahead and scream, I like it.

"Oh Zim! Fuck, that feels s-so good…" he panted. I nibble on his ear, yes, useless human appendages. So stupid and ARG! But Dib seems to like the treatment. Or maybe Dib just likes me. And how couldn't he! Besides, everyone at skool thinks Dib's gay. I think everyone knows but Dib. Is that how all human's sexual attractions are chosen? 'Cause on Irk we get to pick. Humans hurt my head! Mmm, more moaning. Yeah I've taken over since it seems you're just gonna sit there. What're you doing exactly? My mind's still blegh. You mean like always, heh? Oh stfu! Well if you must know, you're fucking him and he likes it, okay, now that you're out of dream-land, you can have control again. Thank you. So now we're having sex, this is nice. What's this thing in Dib. Oh! He screams! I like that screaming stuff. Let's hit it again and see if…yes! He does scream every time I hit that, I wonder. One two three times I've hit that thingy in Dib now. Ew, what's this stuff! No time to wonder. I just wanna get this over with.

I fall down next to Dib; he roses over into my arms, snuggling up against my chest. Yes, Dib's not so bad. Good in bed too. Shorter than me; that's good. I yawned, pulling him closer. He kissed my neck. I run my fingers threw his messy black hair, kissing his forehead. He's so sweet. I never knew Dib could be so absolutely wonderful! I hugged him, and he hugged me back.

"Wow Zim, that was…amazing, to say the least." He said breathlessly.

"Glad you liked it human."

"We probably should've kept it down some though. Dad is home, you know." Fuck, I hadn't thought he would be. Uhoh.

"He is?"

"Yeah, he's been home the past few days." I sighed.

"Oh well. So, Dib-human, when do you plan to dissect me, I need to know how many days I have left, you know, get my affairs in order and shit like that." he looked up at me, slightly hurt.

"I'm not gonna…" he stopped. Probably thinking whether or not he really was gonna harm me. I half wanted him to. Just for the pure fact that I have no home, that I'm completely useless and a piece of trash; good for nothing other than serving fast-food.

"No. I'm not gonna dissect you, Zim."

"Why not?"

"Do you want me to?"

"I asked you first." He huffed.

"I'm not going to because…I feel like I'm screwed either way. If I do, then I'll probably be depressed that I don't have you anymore. And if I don't, you'll probably just destroy the planet." I shook my head.

"No Dib, you either do and don't have me, or don't and get to keep me. Like I said. I have no place to go. What's the point of destroying this filthy planet if I'm just gonna be stuck here in the rubble."

"So…either way, you're mine?" I nodded half heartedly. He pouted, "Then why'd you get to top!"

"Because you're a girly little prick!" I smiled trying to control my laughter. He poked me in the chest over and over again. I couldn't help it, I burst out in laughter.

"No fair no fair no fair!" he squealed. He's so cute. I grabbed his shoulders and kissed him.

"You're such an idiot!" I giggled on his lips.

"You're mean!" he pouted again. I kissed his lip.

"You're annoying!"

"You're stupid!"

"You…smell." HA TAKE THAT! He's laughing! My turn to pout? Okay. He kissed me again.

"Baby."

"Look who's talking!" we glared at each other before bursting out in laughter. I poked him, "Poke."

"Poke, poke"

"Poke, poke, poke!"

"POKE FIGHT!" he tackled me and began to poke me all over.

"Ah! Hehe! Stop it! That tickles!"

"Oooh, little green man's ticklish!" he began to tickle me all over the place. God, I can't breath,

"Dib, st- haha – op! I can't – haha – breath!" he stopped, smiling down at me. I smile up at him. What time is it? I glance at the clock.10:38pm, I look back at him.

"What's wrong?"

"Just wanted to know what time it is." Dib yawned then looked at the clock.

"We should be going to bed." I nodded as Dib snuggled into my arms. I think I love this human. I don't know why. Irkens aren't supposed to love anyone or anything. I kissed him again and fell asleep.