Welcome. This fanfic is a collection of short vignettes and stories, all taking place in the same universe, all mostly light, fluffy, and comical. I can't always stay devoted to a story, so it is better for me to write several one shots that all exist in the same setting and main idea rather than getting confused and eventually abandon the story all together. It is post-Dead Man's Chest, so there may be spoilers in some of the chapters. Each chapter will most likely not occur in a chronological order, though some of the stories are similarly related. So, in essence, this is more like a collection of "drabbles." They are all Jack/Elizabeth centric. Now, sorry for the insanely and obscenely long author's note, but explanation were needed. Read on!
Teaching, by Lady Kaceemort
"Being on your ship, Captain, has taught me many rather important things," Elizabeth told Jack as they watched the setting sun from Jack's hammock on deck.
Jack smirked lightly. "Do elaborate, love." He shifted slightly to get more comfortable with Elizabeth in his arms.
Elizabeth played with the lapels on Jack's signature jacket. "One, you are not as daft nor drunk as you make yourself out to be."
"Blast. I hope no one else has caught onto my clever disguise, if I do say so myself."
Elizabeth rolled her eyes.
"Come, come, love, what else?" Jack whined. "You are keeping me in deep, unyielding suspense."
"Two, pirating is quite more docile that what I previously imagined."
Jack nodded sagely. Well, as sagely as he could muster. "We pirates– that be including you there, Lizzy, love– are actually sensitive, misunderstood chaps. Maids in your case, darling."
Rolling her eyes yet again, Elizabeth sighed impatiently. "I'm hardly a maid, Jack,"
A knowing grin breeched Jack's tanned face. "Aye, poor choice of words. No mere maid can do what you did last night, love. Honestly, where did you learn how–"
"Finish that statement, Captain, and I will make sure that you will never have a repeat performance. Ever," Elizabeth threatened menacingly. "India," she added as an afterthought.
"And how did you learn how–"with a rather hard jab from Elizabeth in the side, Jack continued, "that in India?" His dark eyes flashed murderously. "You know, I'm not one to share, Lizzy. Violent temper, I have."
Elizabeth jabbed him again in the side. "Honestly. I bought a book while we were there on our last voyage."
"Bought?" Jack asked, rubbing his injured ribs.
"Well, stole, but that's beside the point. Anyway, it is a nice little book, really. I can't read Hindi, but the pictures were– ah, detailed, to say the least."
Jack adopted a starry-eyed look. "I never though I'd love literature this much. Can I see this book?"
"No! It's mine to peruse and provide many surprise filled nights," Elizabeth protested angrily.
"You have a point, love."
Jack made a mental note to find said book.
Elizabeth made a mental note to hide said book.
"What were we talking about before?" Jack asked quizzically.
This happened often between the pair. They would argue and disagree with each other to the point that their banter led them to some random, completely unrelated topic. It was part of their odd, yet wholesome relationship. Marriage, really. Jack, good to his word, performed their marriage ceremony on the ship, just like he told Elizabeth he could that day long ago onboard the Pearl, "right here, right now." Which took some time. After all, having to fight all manner of evil and creatures, including Davy Jones and his kraken, to save Jack's freedom and magically rebuild the Pearl, took a little while. In addition, Jack wasn't feeling too pro-Lizzy after she chained him up to his own bloody ship and left him for dead.
But he would have done the same to her, probably.
Regardless, after being rescued and saved by his lovely Lizzy, and wooing her, he bloody married her on his ship. It might not be completely legitimate, but, after all, when did anything have to be legitimate for pirates?
Plus, he couldn't treat her to her "wedding night" until he married her.
But that was beside the point. Almost.
But she was worth it. Elizabeth to him was the human embodiment of his two only loves (now three, including Lizzy herself): the Black Pearl and the ocean. She was as untamable and unpredictable as the seas, and as dark and unsatiably beautiful as its mysterious depths. And the Pearl, his beloved ship and friend, was part of his soul. Was in his skin. Just like his wild, beautiful, lovely Lizzy.
And Jack wouldn't fight bloody Will Turner for just any strumpet, mind you. He got out of that predicament relatively unscathed for the sole reason of Bootstrap Bill Turner, free and human-looking again, who told his son he couldn't kill a man for the same reason he was fighting against him. Which made sense, somehow.
So, father and son departed the Pearl and embarked on their own journey, making up for the lack of father-son bonding and whatnot.
Which left Jack free to his lady, and she to her pirate.
And, thus, their current situation.
"Ah, yes! You were telling me what you've learned from me and my suave, devilishly handsome and cunning person under my tutelage... and other things." Jack raised his eyebrows suggestively.
"No, I believe we were talking about what I've learned sailing on your ship," corrected Elizabeth.
"Same thing, love, if you define 'ship.'" Elizabeth slapped Jack playfully at his comment. "Well, to be technical here, love, it would be our ship, really, since we are bonded in Holy matrimony and the like."
"I'm touched, Jack. The Pearl means a lot to you. I can't see you sharing it," Elizabeth admitted, her eyes shining brightly.
Jack touched Elizabeth's cheek. "Aye, but you mean a great deal, too, Lizzy."
Elizabeth's heart melted warmly. That was the closest Jack had ever gotten to telling her he loved her. She knew he did, but Jack wasn't the sentimental type.
"And plus the Pearl can't do what you did last night, love."
Way to ruin a moment.
Elizabeth glared malevolently.
"Joke, love," Jack laughed hesitantly.
"It bloody well be a joke, dear," she sneered at him quite scarily.
"Do continue on with your reasons, love!" Jack goaded.
Still glaring at him, Elizabeth continued. "Three, it is extremely wise and actually crazy at the same time to bed the captain of the ship."
Jack frowned. "I'm not following the whole 'crazy' point, Lizzy. The 'wise' I understand, and all. Especially when you are referring to Captain Jack Sparrow."
"You really are full of yourself, aren't you, Jack?"
Jack grinned broadly. "I'm Captain Jack Sparrow, love. Why not?" At her look of impatience, Jack added, "Would you really have me any other way?"
"You have a point," Elizabeth conceded. "As for the crazy part, I am about to divulge why it is stupid to bed the captain, nay, any man at sea."
"I see no reason to the contrary. It is most wise to engage in illicit and nefarious affairs aboard a ship at sea, love. I recommend it. In fact, now is a–"
"Yes, if you're a bloody man!" Elizabeth interrupted. She paused and looked up at the now last vestiges of sunlight, melting away in violets and pinks and creamy oranges.
"I'm still not following you, love."
"Jack, I'm pregnant."
And once, on a very rare occasion not seen often, Jack Sparrow was rendered speechless.
And then he proceeded to fall out of the hammock, pulling Elizabeth with him. The crew just stared.
Jack got his wits about himself and turned to Elizabeth laying on the deck beside him. "A thought, here, love. I think I just heard you say you are with child."
"I did."
Jack rolled on top of her, splaying his hands on either side of her head and straddling her legs. "And how did this come about, love?"
Elizabeth replied, "In a very similar position to this, I imagine."
"Oh."
"Is it... is this okay?" she whispered hesitantly, looking very vulnerable and sad all at once, much like the old Lizzy of long ago, before Jack corrupted her.
Jack softened. "Of course it is, love." He kissed her softly on the lips.
Elizabeth smiled into the kiss, relieved.
When they broke apart, Jack looked at Elizabeth thoughtfully.
"What?" she asked.
A feral smirk graced Jack's features. "I just realized this means many months of passion without the worry of getting pregnant and all."
Disgusted, Elizabeth pushed Jack off of her, rising to her feet. "Is that all you think about, Captain Sparrow?"
His grin widened. "Why, of course not. Another would be rum, naturally." As Elizabeth turned to go stalk off angrily, Jack caught her hand. "The other, my Lizzy, would be how much I love you." There, he wasn't a coward anymore. He said it.
Elizabeth, who usually showed some propriety with Jack while the crew was around, turned, threw herself onto the deck on top of Jack, and proceeded to kiss him hungrily and tenderly, passionately and lovingly, completely, all at the same time.
"Anything else, love?" Jack inquired softly as their lips broke apart.
Elizabeth smiled. "Only that I love you tremendously. More than words can say."
Brushing a tendril of her honey hair behind her ear, he whispered, "That, love, was something I already knew."
Review please, if you so prefer (I know I don't review half as much as I should). Constructive criticism is welcome. Take pity, though. I haven't written anything in quite some time.