1Sandstorm was practicing fighting techniques with her apprentice Sorrelpaw in the training hollow. They were tussling when suddenly, Sandstorm broke away. "Oh, StarClan!" she swore, "I, like, broke a claw! Sorrelpaw, like, go and get Cinderpelt!"

Sorrelpaw ran away and came back a second later with the medicine cat. "Another broken claw?" Cinderpelt asked, "I swear, Sandstorm, you're such a wuss. How can you think of stopping your training for something so stupid?"

Sandstorm sucked her paw angrily. "It hurts," she muttered, "I am in, like, total agony here! Hell-o!"

Cinderpelt sighed and shook her head. "I don't have time for this," she grumbled, "Firestar's at it again." With that, she turned and padded away.

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"Firestar, how many times do I have to tell you, the world does not suck!" Cinderpelt hissed. Firestar growled and looked away.

Cinderpelt sighed and focused on the scratches that ran down Firestar's leg. The ThunderClan leader had a black substance around his eyes and he had grown the fur on his head long. He sighed.

"Yes it does," he muttered, "It sucks. Life sucks. I hate everything."

"Look, I'm going to go restock my supplies. You're running me out of cobwebs faster than if BloodClan had been having a full-scale war on us!"

The gray she-cat padded out of the den. Firestar licked his bloody claws. "Life does suck, Cinderpelt," he murmured, "It does."

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Graystripe slipped out of the warriors den. He sniffed the air and smelled blood and Cinderpelt. He spotted the medicine cat and padded over to her. "Firestar's been cutting again?" he asked.

Cinderpelt gazed at Graystripe. The gray warrior had his long fur spiked up and a stolen BloodClan cat's collar was around his neck. He smiled and Cinderpelt saw that he had filed his fangs to a long point.

"Get away, you punk-wannabe," she growled, "It's your fault Firestar's gone emo."

Graystripe looked offended. "It is not!" he cried, "Look, how 'bout I try and convince him to go on patrol with me?" When he opened his mouth to talk, a tongue ring could be seen.

Cinderpelt shook her head. "I don't care. Just do something and stay out of my way, will you?"

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"Hey Firestar! Firestar!" Graystripe shouted at the entrance of Firestar's den, "Come on! I think you need a good patrol to clear your head!" He entered the den.

Firestar looked up from the needles scattered around his paws. "My head is plenty clear," he meowed, "And besides, why would I go on a patrol?"

" 'Cause it'll be fun!" Graystripe told him.

"Oh, sure. It's going to be so much fun, seeing how much the other Clan leaders have been screwing around in my territory." Firestar sighed. "Just leave."

"No. Wait," Graystripe tried again, "How about hunting?"

"Why would I want to do that?"

Graystripe thought hard, then said, "Duh! You get to cause the death of furry woodland creatures."

Firestar jumped up, his eyes shining happily. "Let's go!" he meowed.

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"Like, Oh my StarClan! It's Firestar! Say hi to Firestar, Sorrelpaw!" Sandstorm shouted. Firestar flinched.

"Hey Sandstorm!" Graystripe called, "Wanna come hunting with us?"

Say no, say no! Firestar begged. Sandstorm gave a valley girl laugh.

"Like, okay. Come on, Sorrelpaw." The ginger she-cat padded over to Firestar. "Hey there, hottie," she mewed.

Firestar muttered something unintelligible into his chest fur. Sandstorm put her head closer. "What'd ya say?"

"I SAID HELLO SANDSTORM!" Firestar shouted. Sandstorm fell over on the ground, twitching in pain. Firestar snorted.

"This sucks," the ThunderClan leader muttered, "I'm going back to my den."

"Killing prey!" Graystripe mewed. Firestar stopped with a paw in the air. He spun around and grabbed Graystripe's tail in his teeth. Then he ran, dragging his deputy behind him.

"Hey, let's move. C'mon already, you doddering rabbit! I'm gonna kill me a mouse or five!"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Cinderpelt looked up to see Firestar drop six mice at her paws. All of the mice had numerous scratch marks all over them. Their faces were twisted in pain. It looked like they had all been tortured to death. She followed them up to Firestar, who was looking oddly happy.

"Firestar…?"

"Graystripe took me hunting," Firestar meowed, "I got to kill a bunch of things. And the best part is, it's for a good cause." His furry face fell. "Yeah. Well, back to my den."

Sandstorm entered Cinderpelt's den next. The medicine cat sighed. "What's wrong now, Sandstorm?"

"WHAT?" Sandstorm shouted, "SPEAK LOUDER, I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"

"I SAID–Oh, forget it," Cinderpelt muttered, "SANDSTORM, GO WAIT OUTSIDE MY DEN! I'LL BE WITH YOU IN A FEW MINUTES!"

"LIKE, OKAY!" Sandstorm yowled, still deaf from Firestar's shouting, "I'LL JUST, LIKE, WAIT OUTSIDE FOR YOU! SEE YOU IN A FEW!" The half-deaf she-cat padded away. Cinderpelt sank her claws into the ground.

"I swear to StarClan, Firestar, if I ever catch you, I'll..." She trailed off, too angry to finish her sentence. "That's it. I'm out. Goodbye, ThunderClan! I can't take this anymore."

Cinderpelt packed her toothbrush, herbs, and a rubber squeaky mouse in a leather suitcase she had found one day while looking for juniper berries. Then she slipped past the deaf Sandstorm and headed out for new and better things.

A/N: Well, here's to my first Warriors parody! Review!