Warning: Violence and...possibly disturbing images
This chapter has not been revised, so sorry for any mistakes ahead of time.
Chapter Nine: The Threat of Truth
The moment of truth now stands before me…it's just one moment in time, an insignificant dot in the span of our lifetime. Its funny how years and decades fly by so quickly, yet one moment in time passes by so slowly. How this one moment, so insignificant compared to years, decades, and centuries, yet this is the moment of truth, this is what it all comes down to…this moment…this moment of truth. This small piece of life and history…this moment.
I've been waiting for this moment.
His dark eyes, lost in the vast expanse of his even darker memories, stare at me. They don't see me, they don't see fresh bruises, they don't see scars and hopelessness, they don't see a broken bleeding heart that's slowly dying, they just stare at me lifelessly; lost and alone, those dark eyes stare at me…and they see nothing.
Crawling into a dark hole that lies deep in a dark cave far away from wandering eyes, I hide there, waiting for his gaze to pass me by, but it never does. It lingers, looking right at me, staring through the darkness that smothers us like the night when the moon has fled. Despite the huge expanse that separates us, despite the angry cloud hanging between us that whispers despair and moans with hate, despite the Earth shattering emptiness that sucks away our lives and crawls like spiders around us, he stares at me, but never sees me.
"Father."
…his eyes blink once…
…and then once more…
…but Silence…Dead Silence…Heart stopping silence. He doesn't speak. He doesn't move. He doesn't even acknowledge my presence.
He just stares at me…lost and alone, his dark eyes stare at me…and see nothing, nothing important at least.
Isn't that the truth…
What do I say to his silence? How do I react? How should I react? Do I even care? Can I? Perhaps that is the question, can I care?
I want to say no. I want to say no so badly, but I can't. I do care, I do. My vision begins to blur as I numbly realize that tears are streaming down my face. I don't care, I don't care. I. Don't. Care…
But I do. I care. But there's nothing to do for it. So we stand there and stare at each other, each gaze as dark as the others, each pain as terrible as the others, each secrets as painful as the others.
A spell has been cast on us, but not one of those spells from a fairy tale or from a kindly old witch with shocks of grey hair and dancing feet that laugh with gaiety. No…this spell came from the depths of the Earth, where demons and the most terrible monsters ever thought of, dwell; where hatred roams free and suffering is the motto of the inhabitants. Yes, that's the spell, the trance we've been put under. It has to lift sometime, right? We can't be under this spell forever…right?
Perhaps I'm still holding onto false, lingering hope. You would too if you were me. You would too.
I was too afraid to go back the way I had come, but I was too afraid to go forward…to go into the kitchen and retrieve what I had come for. So I just stood there. I couldn't move.
After a few, long agonizing seconds, though, he looked down, away from me. My eyes followed his and it was then I noticed the gun lying in his hands.
How did I know it would come this?
"Father."
"It's time, Peter. It's time." I could not say no. I could not shake my head and tell him he was being silly. I could not stop him.
I just could not say no.
"What would you have me do?"
…his eyes blink once…
…and then once more…
…but Silence…Dead Silence…Heart stopping Silence…The moment of truth.
"You've always been such a good son, Peter. Will you do it for me?"
Will you, rings through my head. Will I? Will I do it for him? Can I?
"Peter?"
Will You, Peter, Will You? His voice mocks in my head. Will I? Will I? Can I?
"End an old man's suffering son. Do it, please. For everyone's sake do it."
I was prepared for this moment. I knew it would come down to this, I knew he would want to try, I knew he would try, I knew he would ask me. I knew it. And then one question that had been ringing through my ears since I found out I knew; one question haunted me, one question constricted around my heart and slowly began to kill it, one question I had asked myself constantly:
Will you? Will you do it? Can you? Will I do it?
And the answer was always, unhesitatingly the same:
"No. You can't ask that of me father. There has to be another way. I won't let you do this to yourself." But I already knew my words were in vain, and I knew how he would react, and I knew…I knew this was the end for one of us.
His brows furrowed in anger, his dark eyes clouding over with pain and anger as the alcohol corrupted his brain.
And the question still rang in my ears. Will you do it…will I stop him?
I had to try and I already knew how, even if it meant my life…
…but apparently I had miscalculated. When I raised my eyes to stare at his dull, lifeless ones, the gun was pointed directly at my aching heart.
"It's for the best." I sadly whispered towards the stranger standing in my kitchen. I might as well have been in a strange alley in a land far away being mugged by a complete stranger who was holding a gun to my chest, threatening to kill me if I didn't give him my money…this was no different…no different except the man holding the gun was my father, or at least, at one time, he used to be my father.
His hard eyes still stared at me as he rushed forward. He shoved me backwards roughly. I toppled over as my legs came in contact with something lying on the floor and gave out underneath me. For a brief moment, terror like I had never felt before, gripped me tightly. As a child clutches at a safety blanket, gripping till their knuckles turn white and the blanket molds to their fingers, the terror held onto me. I held it in the palm of my hands for a few seconds, contemplating my decisions, before letting it go, letting it fly from my hand like a butterfly.
"Why can't you just do as I ask?" He screamed as he hovered over me, his gun still pointed at my fluttering heart.
But then his gaze softened and the darkness that had captured his eyes loosened their hold, and the demons that possessed his mind flew back to their nests; in that one sober moment he stared at me. In that one moment he was my father and not a monster, in that one moment he was the man I worshipped as a child and not a stranger, in that one moment lucidity and understanding shone through his bright eyes as tears streamed down his face. And I got a brief glimpse of my father, my real father, the real man behind the alcohol.
"I'm so sorry, Peter. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
…
…
"I understand, Father."
"I know you do, Peter, I know you do."
His gun pointed directly at me he whispered: "I never stopped loving you guys. I never meant…I never wanted…I'm sorry, Peter." Tears rolled down our cheeks as he pulled the trigger.
A loud, cruel shot of his gun exploded in the room, echoing throughout the house…and the moment just dragged on, time slowed down. The bullet burst from the barrel…Susan screamed from somewhere inside the house. Sobbing burst forth from the eyes and mouth of Lucy, Edmund began shouting, my mother cried wildly…and the bullet hit its mark.
And all I could do was silently stare at my father. My eyes traveled to the blood splattered across my shirt, then at Susan and Edmund who were rushing into the room. She was screaming, but I could hear nothing. Edmund was yelling, but I could hear nothing. They were right in front of me, but I could see nothing but the bullet piercing soft flesh and blood splattering across the space between us.
They're hands were trying to pull me away from the room, from…my Father, but I could not move.
"He said he was sorry."
"Oh Peter."
"He said he was sorry." And tears poured from eyes once more as I stared at the lifeless body lying not three feet away from me.
I could see the gun as he pointed it at himself, see the bullet as it…feel the blood, see his body fall to the floor…and I sat and stared in dead silence at the man who was once my father.
And his dark, blank eyes stared back at me…lost and alone, those dark eyes stared at me, and saw nothing, absolutely nothing…
And that's the truth…
THE END
Well, sadly, that's the end. I hope you guys enjoyed it, sorry if you don't like the ending, and thank you to everyone who reviewd and stuck with me despite my slowness.