Given my track record for updates, I can't believe I'm starting another chapter fic when I'm already knee deep in another chapter fic. But when a worm of an idea burrows into your brain, there's only one way to get it out…so let's get this party started!

Disclaimer #1: All copyrighted villains represented herein are property of someone who isn't me. Disclaimer #2: No ninja turtles will appear in this fic. I decided it was time to shine the spotlight on the bad guys for a change. We've seen them do their worst, but what are they like off the clock? Join me as we take a peek into their personal lives, starting with the biggest (literally) bad guy of them all…

Bad Guys Need Love Too

SWM, 34, tall, athletic, ambitious, seeks SF, 18-30, for dinner and drinks.

Hun sat in his car gripping the steering wheel, staring intently at the building across the street. He had spent the last half an hour mentally preparing himself for the task that lay ahead; as the right hand man of the most notorious crime lord in New York, he had seen (and done) some pretty ugly things, but nothing compared to what awaited him behind the doors of DaVinci's Italian Restaurant.

Her name was Kim Miller, a graphic designer originally from Chicago. A Pisces, she liked Jazz music, scuba diving, and long Sunday drives in the country topped off with a romantic picnic.

She was his internet date.

"This is stupid," Hun growled. He reached for the keys, which were still in the ignition, and started the car. He didn't need to find a woman this way. A man in his position met quality women all the time. Like the hot blonde he met last week at the master's fundraiser. She worked for the mayor's office, and might prove to be a valuable connection…then again, she was a smoker, and he hated cigarettes.

No big loss. Any of the women in the Purple Dragons would (literally) kill to be his girl. Then again, he'd been down that road before…those girls were freaky in all the right ways, but dating the boss always made them forget their place, and inevitably things would come to a messy end.

Well, there was always what's her name…he never did call her after that night, but maybe he still had her number somewhere…

Hun sighed and turned off the engine.

----------

From the moment he walked through the restaurant's double doors, Hun could feel all eyes on him; the fear it generated was so thick he practically had to swim through it to get to the bar, where he was supposed to meet Kim. He was used to such reactions, and it proved very useful in his business, but it often worked against him on a date. He ordered a stiff drink to calm his nerves, and hoped his date wasn't easily intimidated.

"Peter?"

Hun turned at the sound of his real name and spotted a slender brunette staring up at him. He quickly assessed the situation: She was wearing a low cut, cream colored silk blouse and a brown suede skirt that stopped just shy of the knee. Brown suede boots hugged her shapely legs. Some of her hair was pulled back in a tortoiseshell clip, and the rest tumbled around her neck and shoulders, with a few loose strands hugging the sides of her face. The face itself was quite lovely, with just enough makeup to highlight her most stunning features. Diamond earrings shined in her ears, and an emerald ring graced her finger. All in all, it was a tasteful ensemble that hinted at an inner slut.

So far, so good. He decided to proceed.

"Kim?" Hun smiled, holding out his hand. "It's nice to meet you."

"Wow, I know you said you were very tall, but…" Kim trailed off, staring up at her date in awe.

"But?" Hun prompted, fully expecting her to make up some flimsy excuse and flee in fear. It wouldn't be the first time a date had done that.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to stare," Kim said. "It's just that most guys I meet online lie about their height, age, weight…you're everything you said you were, and more. It's really refreshing."

Caught off guard, it took a moment for Hun's brain to process what she had said and give her an appropriate response. "Um…thanks."

The bartender set down their drinks; before Hun could reach for his wallet, Kim pulled a twenty dollar bill out of her purse and paid for them. She then took her drink and headed towards the dining room. "Coming?" She called over her shoulder to Hun.

Hun snapped out of his daze. "Uh, yeah," He replied, grabbing his drink. He wasn't used to his date taking the lead. He kind of liked it.

----------

"I can't believe you know Jones Market!" Kim exclaimed. "It really is a small world!"

"I know," Hun replied with a chuckle. In the thirty minutes they'd been talking, he felt he'd known her all his life. That wasn't much of a stretch; they'd grown up in the same neighborhood, hung out at the same places (albeit a few years apart), and liked the same things. Most importantly, she made him laugh; not the cruel, evil kind of laugh he was used to (which were in abundance in Shredder's fortress), but a happy laugh. He'd forgotten that laughter could be a good thing.

"I loved Jones Market," Kim said. "It's such a shame it burned down."

Hun's bubble popped. "Um, yeah…a real shame," he gulped.

"Poor Mr. Jones," Kim sighed, shaking her head. "He never really recovered. He had a heart attack a year later, remember? People say he died of a broken heart."

"Um…I heard something about that," Hun muttered, the unwelcomed image of him throwing a Molotov cocktail through the store window springing into his mind.

"The cops said it was an electrical problem, but everyone knew it was arson," Kim said, her voice becoming heated. "He'd been threatened by some thug looking to shake him down. But he didn't cave in, not ever! He was a real man, not like the coward who burned his store…"

The waiter arrived. "May I take your order?" He asked in a bored tone.

"I'll have the eggplant lasagna," Hun said quickly.

"I'll have the shrimp scampi," Kim said.

"Are you going to write this down?" Hun asked, noticing the waiter had not reached for the pad and pen sticking out of his apron.

"No, sir, I have a very good memory," the waiter said. "Can I interest you in an appetizer, or a bottle of our house wine?"

"Only if you write it down," Hun snapped.

The waiter rolled his eyes. "Sir, I know what I'm doing, so why don't you just order already?" He huffed.

Suddenly the waiter found himself dangling a foot above the ground, caught in the grip of Hun's meaty hand. "Listen, pal, my date and I haven't been waiting half an hour to order overpriced pseudo-Italian food just to take attitude from a condescending little pissant. Here's what you're going to do. You are going to write down our order and have it all out here in fifteen minutes. And it will all be on the house as an apology for your rudeness. Got it?"

The waiter nodded, and Hun dropped him. He scribbled down the order as Hun rattled it off, and then beat a hasty retreat into the kitchen. Hun then noticed everybody in the dining room was staring at him; when they spotted him looking back at them they quickly retuned to their meals.

Hun glanced over at Kim, whose mouth was handing open wide enough to swallow a bullfrog. "I'm…uh…sorry you saw that," Hun gulped, his heart hammering as he stammered out the apology; he was convinced he had blown his chance with her, yet like a drowning man he still struggled to stay afloat. "It's just that…uh…"

"Oh, don't apologize!" Kim chirped. "Most people would have let that snobby jerk walk all over them. I really admire a man who's not afraid to stand up for himself."

She smiled, giving Hun goose bumps. He felt his guard drop, surrendering to a gentle warmth that washed over him as he gazed into her eyes. For the first time in his life he felt vulnerable, and he welcomed it with open arms.

----------

The moon glowed brightly against the clear starless night, bathing Central Park in an almost mystical white glow. Combined with a balmy summer temperature, it was the perfect night for a stroll.

"This is the perfect night for a stroll," Kim sighed, both of her tanned and toned arms wrapped around Hun's massive right one. "I'm glad I let you talk me into this. Ordinarily I'd be really nervous walking through the park at this hour."

"I understand," Hun said. "This city is a real cesspool. But you can't let the scum control your life."

"You're right," Kim said. "Besides, what are the odds we'll run into trouble?"

Suddenly half a dozen thugs brandishing weapons emerged from the shadows and quickly surrounded their prey. "Evening folks, and welcome to the Purple Dragon tollbooth," one of them sneered, holding a crowbar in his right hand and menacingly slapping it into his left palm. "That'll be all your cash, please."

"And earrings," a Dragon with brass knuckles added, eyeing Kim's diamonds.

"Please, no!" Kim cried. "They were my grandmother's!"

Brass Knuckles took a step towards Kim, but Hun stepped forward and blocked his path. "You heard the lady," he growled. "You aren't getting her earrings or anything else!"

"You ain't in no position to be giving orders, tiny!" Crowbar snapped. The circle tightened. Hun clenched his fists.

"Peter, don't! It's not worth it," Kim said. "Let's just given them what they want."

"Yeah, King Kong, step off before we knock you off your skyscraper!" Brass Knuckles smirked. The other Dragons laughed.

Laughter quickly turned to startled gasps as Hun sent Brass Knuckles flying. Crowbar took a swing at Hun, who grabbed the weapon just before it connected with his head and delivered a punch to its owner, sending him headfirst into the bushes. Hun whirled around and raised his forearm just in time to intercept a metal chain another punk had whipped at his head. It wrapped around his wrist and he pulled the punk forward; Hun spun him around like a living weapon, slamming him into two of his buddies and sending all of them sprawling onto the pavement. They quickly sprang to their feet and took off into the safety of the darkness.

Hun heard the click of a gun barrel behind him; he whirled around and threw the crowbar at the last punk standing, knocking the weapon out of his hand. The defenseless thug stood petrified as Hun towered over him.

"Now get out of here," Hun growled. "And don't even think about threatening innocent people in this park ever again!"

"Y-yes sir, boss- I mean Hun! I mean, stranger whom I have never seen before!" A withering glare from Hun shut the punk up and sent him running. Fortunately his slip went unnoticed by Kim, who jumped up and wrapped her arms around Hun's neck.

"Peter, you were amazing!" She cried.

"It was nothing," Hun grinned, hugging her back.

"I think the hero deserves a reward," Kim said, whispering into his ear. "Why don't we go back to my place?"

----------

The walk back to Kim's apartment took a long time, since people tend to walk slower when kissing. Once inside the apartment building, the pair continued making out in front of Kim's front door for a good ten minutes. Finally, they broke apart, each gasping for air.

"I think we'd be more comfortable inside," Kim panted, pulling her mussed up hair back into the clip. She turned towards the door and began rummaging through her purse for her keys.

Hun stood behind her, admiring every inch of her soft and supple female form. High on endorphins, he began to imagine the possibilities; Kim was everything he could ever want in a mate…beautiful, funny, smart, uninhibited…with her by his side, he felt like he could take on the world. She deserved nothing but the best, which was something he could provide. Yes, he could definitely see a future with this woman.

Hun's daydream was interrupted by the sound of a key turning in a lock. Kim pushed open the door, and the two of them stepped into her darkened apartment. "I have to warn you, my place is a little messy," she laughed.

"Oh, I'm sure it's…" Hun started to say as Kim flicked on the lights. He stopped cold as he suddenly found himself assaulted by images of…

Turtles.

There were turtle pictures hanging on every wall, along with a turtle clock. Turtle figurines lined the shelves. A turtle phone sat on a table next to a green couch shaped like a lily pad, which had two turtle throw pillows on either end. An aquarium containing several box turtles sat in the corner.

Kim laughed at Hun's stunned expression. "I'm sorry, I should have warned you. I'm a huge turtle freak. I even have a turtle tattoo. Want to guess where it is?" She asked coyly, hooking her thumbs into the back of her skirt.

Hun didn't hear her. He was fixated on the dozens of turtles staring back at him with their wide unblinking eyes, grinning broadly as if he was the butt of some untold joke. So many green faces assaulting him from all sides, laughing at him, mocking him…

With a single sweep of his arm, Hun knocked the figurines from their perch. They landed unharmed on the soft carpet, and he promptly stomped them to bits.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Kim screamed, but Hun still didn't hear her. He punched out the turtles on the walls, one after the other. The throw pillows were next, exploding in a cloud of feathers as Hun ripped them to shreds. His crazed eyes then fell on the aquarium, where the box turtles were defiantly staring at him with their beady little eyes as if daring him to come and get them...

Suddenly Hun felt something slam against the back of his head. He whirled around and saw the turtle phone on the floor; the impact had broken it in half, but the smiling face was still intact, looking up at him as if to say you're done.

Hun looked over at Kim. She was breathing heavily, her beautiful, loving face now contorted in anger and fear, looking as if she was trapped in a cage with a rabid dog. Seeing her like that threw ice water on the fiery rage that had consumed him, but it was too late.

Kim ran to the door and opened it. "GET OUT!" She screamed. "GET OUT RIGHT NOW, YOU PSYCHO-FREAK, BEFORE I CALL THE COPS!"

Wordlessly, Hun left.

----------

It began to downpour the moment he left the building, but Hun didn't notice; his soaked clothes clinging to him like a second skin, he wandered the streets like a lost child. The wonderful world he had built within his mind, the one that was within his reach, had been ripped away, and what remained was a cold and lonely void. Had it always been like this? Had he simply not noticed until that night, when he had gotten a glimpse of what could have been?

Hun's brooding was suddenly interrupted by the shrill ring of his cell phone. It was the master.

"Hun, report back at once," Shredder growled. "I have a job for you."

Upon hearing his master's words, everything suddenly shifted back into place. He hung up and took off running towards Oroku Saki's office building. He hoped the job involved the turtles; for once, he was really looking forward to seeing them.