TheShamanMaster presents...
Naruto & Sugar Don't Mix
Story & Script by TheShamanMaster
Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto...people should know that by now XX...
Note: I'd like to dedicate this first chapter to the following people:
kai's girl51 for her excellent story on 'Talking animals are a pain',
The Handsome Blue Beast for his excellent story 'The Oddest Birthday' and finally,
tsukiflower for her Sugar & Ed Don't Mix which has inspired me to right this Naruto-style one!
Also, this story is after the timeskip, so our good friend Sai is going to make an appearance.
Chapter 1: Sugar Blast? Naruto's Hyper!
Another day in Konoha, and Uzumaki Naruto was in his apartment. He was thinking of the best way to ask Sakura out to dinner, without getting any distractions. He kept staring at the clock, and looked at the four walls around. 11:30am. He wanted it to do it today, before any new missions came up. He got up, and went to take a walk. It would probably clear his head and help think things through. Naruto walked down the street.
"Man, this got to be an easier way to get Sakura-chan to go out with me." He sighed. He walked passed Ichiraku's place, and noticed something on the counter. He ran over and picked it up. It was a short purple object with a note attached.
Dear Naruto,
Sorry to disappoint you, but me and daddy are out today. Apparently, he's out of major ingredients and had to got outta town to get them. I decided to leave you this instead. Remember, not too much of this stuff 'kay?
Best Wishes,
♥Ayame.♥
Naruto sighed. "Crap, just when I want my favorite food, the place has to be closed! Crap!" He picked up the object. Turned out it was a bar of chocolate.
Well...I guess it never hurts...He took off the wrapper, and took a bite of chocolate. His tastebuds danced to the sweet flavour. He chewed it, and swallowed.
"Hey, this is pretty good!" Naruto scoffed the rest of the bar, and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He felt his hand shake, and a rush go through his body. He was feeling energized, and felt like someone had shocked him. Naruto grinned from ear to ear.
"SUGAR! I FEEL IT'S SURGE!" He yelled. Naruto ran down the street and headed for the candy store. He kicked the door in, and the man behind the counter dropped his newspaper, and hid himself.
"C-c-c-can I-i-i-i-i help you, s-s-sir?" The man said quivering. Naruto slammed his fists on the counter.
"Sugar! The best kind you got! No, make that, THE greatest you got!" He said grinding his teeth. The man pointed to a tray of caramel apples.
"M-m-m-m-may I suggest the c-c-c-caramel apples, s-sir?" Naruto's eyes widened. "CARAMEL!" He dove into his pocket for a handful of money, and dropped it.
"Here, keep the change!" He grabbed 2 caramel apples, a bag of gummy bears, 3 suckers, and a handful of marshmallows which he scoffed into his mouth. He rushed out the store faster then anyone had seen. The man sat there, scared as shit.
Meanwhile, Sai was sitting outside a Chinese Restuarant eating a box of noodles. (A/N: Don't ask me why, but I had some weird dream of Sai sitting down and eating noodles outside a restuarant.) He slurped some, when Naruto came rushing by.
"Hey, Lai! How's it going?" He said with a few marshmellows still in his mouth.
Sai looked it up. "It's Sai, and what the hell happened to you?"
"Whatever, Pai! Hey, you wanna have a caramel apple? or maybe some gummy bears?" He pulled out the gummy bears.
"Dickless, What the hell did you eat? I don't want your candy! Can't you see I'm eating some noodles?" Sai looked disgusted
"Watch who your calling 'dickless', ass-wipe!" Naruto chucked the sticky apple right at Sai's head, and it slid down his forehead, and onto the table.
"I'll tear you limb from limb, you little jerk!" Sai went to grab Naruto, but he moved too quickly. And now Naruto was laughing his head off.
"See ya later, Dai!" He raced off into the distance.
Sai clenched his fist. "I'll get you! And it's Sai, asshole!" He took a deep breath. "That's it! Time to call in back up!" He pulled out a walkie-talkie, extended the aerial, and pressed a button.
"This is 'Lil' Chick' to 'Mother Hen'! Do you copy, 'Mother Hen'?"
"This is 'Mother Hen'. What's the situation there, 'Lil' Chick'?" Came a voice from the other end.
Sai responded. "We got ourselves a bit of a situation here, 'Mother Hen'. It's Uzumaki! He's run wild, it must be a sugar rush. He's heading north of the village."
"Copy that, 'Lil' Chick', we'll send a squad a.s.a.p! Over and out."
"Roger, over and out." Sai put the talkie away. I gotta report this to the Hokage immediatly...He thought. He headed towards Tsunade's Office.
Midway through the village, Naruto was still running fast. Most people were shocked at what was moving so fast. Naruto slowed down as he saw the Yamanaka Flower Shop ahead of him. He came to a halt.
"Flowers! What's a celebration of candy if you don't have flowers?" He popped a sucker in his mouth, and started to pick out a few white roses. He picked them off the bush they were growing on. Ino was inside when she heard some rustling outside.
"What the-?" She walked outside, and saw Naruto picking at her flowers. She clenched her fist.
"Naruto, you idiot! What do you think you're doing to my flowers?" She shouted. Naruto turned round, and saw Ino. Hearts appeared in his eyes. (A/N: Think of Sanji, but much bigger.)
"Ino-chan! How's my favorite person in the whole wide world?" Naruto pulled her close and gave a her a huge hug. (A/N: Awww!) Ino pushed him back.
"Naruto! What do you think you're doing? You just ruined that entire bush! Now, you're gonna have to pay for those! And now you-mmph!" Naruto then kissed her on the lips, and gave her another huge hug.
"I'm sorry, Ino-chan! Here, you wanna sucker?" He pulled out another lollipop still in its wrapper, and gave it to Ino. This just made her more mad. A dark aura appeared around her.
"NARUTO! I'm gonna kill you!" She cracked her knuckles. Naruto quickly dove into his pocket and pulled out a roll of money. (A/N: Yes, he does have a lot of money! From all those missions!) He chucked it at her.
"There's ya money! Now don't hurt me please!" He put on puppy dog eyes. As Ino reached down to the ground to pick up the money, Naruto grabbed her hand, spun her around, and sweeped her off her feet.
"Shall we dance, m'lady?" He asked slyly as he spun her around, and kissed her again. Ino then punched Naruto in the nuts. He collasped in pain.
"Mummy...mummy...stop the pain please...where's my gummy bears, mummy?" He said almost at tears. He reached for the last marshmallow in his pocket, and quickly ate it.
Ino was now very pissed off. "Naruto, if this is some kind of a joke, it ain't funny! Where do you get off kissing me like that?" Naruto grinned. He stood up and started to run off.
"Catch me if you can, my precious boar! Remember, do not deny our love! I shall return, with a crown!" He ran off so fast, Ino couldn't see him.
Damn, Naruto you bastard! You're so gonna die later! I better tell Sakura about this...Ino ran back inside, and picked up the phone to dial Sakura's number. As she waited for Sakura to pick up, she shuffled the money that Naruto dropped.
Hmm...more then I thought. She smiled evilly. Maybe I can get something after all...
"Hello, Sakura speaking." Sakura answered
"Sakura? Thank god! You won't believe want happened-"
"You're finally dating Shikamaru?"
"No! It's Naruto! Well, you see..." Ino began replaying the whole incident. By now, Naruto was past halfway through the village. He went looking around for more stuff. He then spotted a cola machine. He didn't have any small change, so he punched and kicked it a few times. KA-CHUNK! A can of cola came out the bottem. He grabbed it, and opened it.
"A toast! To sugar, and all it's great holiness!" He drank some and felt re-charged. People were looking at him and giving him weird looks. Rock Lee walked by and saw the smashed machine.
"Naruto-kun! What has happened here?" Lee rushed over (to what looked like) his (fallen) comrade.
"Lee! My good friend! Let's celebrate this youthful day together like cousins! No, not cousins! Make it brothers!" Naruto grabbed Lee, and slung his arm around his neck.
"So how about it, my good friend, Lee?" Lee's jaw dropped and was now gobsmacked. He clenched his fist.
"Naruto-kun...I shall! The power of youth has exploded in you after all! I knew this day would come! We must celebrate this moment! Let's eat, what ever you have, it's on me!" He said striking the ''nice guy'' pose and shining his teeth.
"Yes! We'll celebrate with junk food! I want candy floss! No, make it taffy! No! Both together!" Naruto smiled so wide he teeth shone bright then Lee's.
Lee smiled also. "Yes let's go!"
At Tsunade's Office, Sai had arrived there. "Tsunade-sama, there's something I must report to you."
Tsunade looked up from her desk. "Sai-san? What is it?"
"It's Naruto-san! Something's up and we must stop him!"
To Be Continued...
Okay, people, please do review. This story is gonna be 5 Chapters long, since I have to get back to my other fics. But please please do review for now.
If some of you are unsure, "Ino" means 'boar'. So Naruto made a pun when he said my 'precious boar'. Oh, and there will be a pairing at the end of this fic!