The Last Time
Author's Note: Gasp, a OneShot Fiction. An extremely short fiction at that. I thought I'd give it a try, see how it would go over. Kind of a very sappy story, so don't flame me too badly. I had a family member go through a similar experience. Fortunately, hebeat the cancer, and we're celebrating the 7 year anniversary of his victory! Same old, I own nothing.
I've been here too many times now, and I wish I could just leave for good. But I can't leave her here alone to deal with this. She needs me more than anything.
I need her more than anything.
It was last summer, I remember it perfectly. We just got together as a couple, with the regular amount of flak from Jen. Me and Caitlin seemed inseparable. We'd go and do everything together, swimming, movies, I even went shopping with her! I tell you, I've never had to hold eighty-five pounds of clothing before, but I should've seen it coming. When I went on the escalator, they went flying, and so did I. I ended up at the bottom of the moving stairs as Caitlin laughed at me.
"Oh Jude" she said, helping me up, "You didn't need to carry it all".
"Don't worry dudette" I said, "I insist on it".
"You're going to kill yourself!" she laughed.
"That could be true" I replied.
What an awesome time we had. Then in the evenings, we'd sit on Teen Point where everyone made out, and watch the sun set. I remember the first time we went there.
"Bra?" I asked, looking into her deep blue eyes, "do you love me?"
"Of course Jude" she said, kissing me, "forever and ever".
I smiled as I returned her kiss. We both knew we could take on anything together. But oh how wrong we were.
First it was her dizzy spells, then the strange bruises all over her. We started panicking, and took her to see a professional. We heard what we didn't want to hear.
Caitlin had cancer.
I remember her and I crying into each others shoulders after hearing the terrible news for hours. But I had to keep her hope high.
"Don't worry bra" I said, "we're gonna get through this. You can beat it".
She looked at me, her tears smearing the mascara on he cheeks.
"You really think so?" she asked.
"I know so" I answered, pulling her in for a hug.
"Thanks Jude" she said, snuggling up beside me.
"No problem Caitlin" I said.
That was eight months ago, almost ¾ of a year she has been fighting an unbeatable struggle. Every day, I've been here visiting her, watching her suffer through this god-awful ordeal. Every day I came, and every day I saw her in pain.
Jesus, why can't the pain just stop for her, why can't it go back to how it used to be? Why can't the "big man" up there just make everything better again? Too bad ideas like that only come true in fairytales.
Even with the cancer, we didn't let it get in the way of our love. We still did everything couples did. We went bowling, went out on dates, hung out by the Lemon, kissed in front of the moonlit evening sky. It was wonderful.
Then everything became more and more difficult for her. Pretty soon, it was almost impossible for her to get out of bed. At that point, I became afraid. I didn't know how bad it had taken over her. She wasn't the bouncing, warm and full-of-energy girl I loved, now she was a girl trapped by an evil menace that had a choke-hold grip on her life, and it was pulling her under.
I will never forget the day I found out this day was coming. I was at home asleep, and Caitlin's parent's phoned me.
"Jude, we have to tell you" her dad said choking back tears.
I knew it wouldn't be good.
"Tell me what?" I asked.
"Caitlin was diagnosed as a…terminal case this evening" he said, leaving the phone to cry.
Those words were left in my mind like a carving etched in stone. It made my stomach tighten, my jaw drop, and my heart break. I hung up the phone, and ran into my bedroom. I cried into my pillow for hours, and was caught in a depressive trance for weeks. I still am, but I've gotten better at hiding my feelings.
I stared at the white peeling walls of the third floor cancer ward as I saw patients slowly moving around in the hallways. They were the fortunate ones, on the road to recovery after fighting the deadly disease.
I moved up to the counter, holding a bouquet of flowers for Caitlin. They weren't real though, for some reason the hospital frowned down on bringing real ones.
"I'm here to see I said, looking down the hallways.
The nurse nodded, and I went down to room 3407. Those numbers held more hate than the devils number itself. I pushed open the door to see her parents and the group beside her. They looked at me as I closed the door behind me.
"Glad to see you made it" Nikki said, turning back to look at Caitlin, "we didn't know if you'd show or not".
"Of course I'd come" I commented, moving in close for a spot beside Caitlin's hospital bed. I looked down at her. The chemotherapy which was meant to help her took her hair away, and the last of her energy. We were surprised if she could get up to have a drink.
She looked up at me, her deep blue eyes filled with sorrow.
"Jude…"she said weakly, "…you came".
"I wouldn't miss it for the world bra" I said, holding onto one of her hands. It felt as cold as ice.
Everyone was either crying or fighting to hold back tears.
"Be a real man, come on" Jonesy kept say to himself, before he turned around and burst into tears.
Caitlin looked at her parents.
"Mom…Dad…can I have a…moment alone with Jude?" she asked.
Her Dad nodded as he led his wife and the group outside. As the door closed, she looked up at me.
"Jude…" she said, looking into my eyes, "…Why do I have to die?"
I could feel myself choking back my emotions.
"B-bra" I said, trying to keep myself from crying, "you're not going to die. We're gonna make it through this, alright?"
She looked at me with the saddest look I've ever seen.
"…I can't Jude. I can't beat it…it's taken too much from me" she said, taking in heavy breaths.
"Don't say that" I said, cupping her hand in between mine.
"I'm sorry Jude, but I know I can't win. I just don't have the strength" she said, as a single tear slid down her cheek.
I wiped it away, struggling to keep myself from breaking into tears.
"Jude?" she asked in a weak voice, "Do you still love me?".
I looked at her, then leaned in as we kissed. I could've sworn it took an entire minute before I pulled back.
"Of course I do" I said, forcing out a smile, "forever and ever".
She smiled.
"Thank you Jude…" she said, "for being here…"
"I always have, and always will be mere" I replied, holding her hand.
She looked up at the ceiling.
"…It's cold in this room…" she said, as her eyes closed.
"I know" I said as I hugged her. As I held her, I helplessly watched the most beautiful girl I ever met die.
I couldn't hold it back anymore, and began crying out loud. Everyone rushed in to help, but as they came in, she left us.
Caitlin died Thursday, April 17th, 2006, at 9 37 pm.
Rest in peace, my beautiful angel, we'll meet again.