Disclaimer: I own none of the cartoons used within.
Quickly now...
Ed wields the scythe in all its glory. The house members are showing the first signs of breaking down. Jack and Zim are up to something. The first season is on its last legs. A cast for the second season is in the works and at least halfway figured out. A storyboard for it will be penned shortly following. And this season will all conclude with a bang and couple jumbo-sized chapters.
Anyways, here are a few details about the last chapters (slightly spoiler-ish) if you're interested. If not, ignore the hideously long author's notes and go on to read the fic. Anywayyyys, the last two chapters will of course answer some questions... what are Zim and Jack up to... and will I reveal information about the mystery of the producers of the show? Who knows.
Shutting up now.
Yumi fiddled with the strings of her electric guitar near the entrance of the oversized living room, where she had her amp plugged in as well. Zolo was napping on the black leather recliner with his three swords left at his side. Pietro and Grim were sitting on the black leather couch, which matched the recliner. They were watching TV… or rather, trying to; the speed demon Pietro was turning the channels inhumanly fast (not a surprise, considering he wasn't really human).
"Slow it down, boy! You're going to give me a seizure!" Grim griped.
"Slow down the remote? Speed up your eyes! Actually, scratch that! You don't have eyes, do you?!" Pietro snapped back. "So why are you watching TV?! In fact, do you even have a brain that isn't rotting? How can you have a seizure in the first place?! Leave me alone! STOP YELLING AT ME!"
"Okay, okay! For the love of-…" Grim trailed off and glared at Quicksilver as he changed channels, even faster now, and twitching a bit with each channel.
Grim remembered the name of the game… staying sane to win cash. The contest was a good ways through by now, but a lot of the contestants, especially the already unstable ones, were being forced to the brink of pure insanity and it was becoming more obvious as of late.
Nearby in the kitchen, Starfire was busy, milling around the roomy yet well-equipped kitchen like a bee in a hive.
Naruto ate his chicken Ramen and grumbled at Starfire's movement. He had become touchier and touchier lately and was having outbursts even more than usual (which was really saying something when it came to Naruto). "STARFIRE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
Starfire whipped around, surprised at his outburst. She closed the oven door after looking inside for the third time in the last two minutes. "I'm making the Gloves of Happiness!"
"In the OVEN?"
"That is how they are made, silly!" She giggled. Then the light-hearted alien girl flew over to Naruto. "Please, why are you angry? Maybe it would help to talk about it."
"Hmmph…" Naruto grumbled. But he was seriously considering talking to her. Sakura was on his three-man cell but never paid attention to him, always to Sasuke. He should value his getting attention from pretty girls. "I just… feel… mad, and-"
"NARUTO, NO!" Starfire threw her hand on Naruto's mouth. "You mustn't talk about being crazy or insane or mad! Not to Pietro or Bender or Yumi or any of the others in the house! Not even House!"
"BUT I'M PISSED OFF!" Naruto thrust his fists into the air, accidentally knocking over his Instant Ramen.
"SHUT UP IN HERE!" Pietro zipped into the kitchen, whirled around it once, then back out onto the couch.
Zolo groaned loudly. "UHHHHHHN SHUT UUUUUUUUP!" He was lying in the right position before but was now spontaneously positioned with his head at the bottom of the recliner and his feet at the top.
"I CAN'T WORK WITH THIS THING!" Yumi shouted about her guitar after tuning it for an incredibly long… three minutes or so. She took it and hit against the wall as hard as she could, destroying her prized, precious axe and part of the living room archway.
"OUCH!" House said out loud. "I feel that, you know!"
"InteresTING…" Zim said as he walked with Jack down the hallway of the bedrooms. "It appears our competitors are BECOMING insaaannne…" Zim smiled evilly, revealing alien-like teeth even under his (granted, poor) human disguise. "all we need to do is push them and then-"
"And then we win!" Jack finished happily. He grabbed a lamp as they passed. "What's that, Wuya? Make them turn on each other? Great idea! But we don't have time to think of an evil plot…" Jack patted the top of the lamp with sympathy. "I know, I know, maybe next time…"
Zim stared. "Ooooooooooookay then. We're moving on, JACK."
"Am I going crazy?!" Jack suddenly asked Zim. But before he could answer, he was interrupted by... a contortion of the fragile fabric of their very dimension.
"What'd I do?" Ed asked no one as he stared down at the scythe. He just made a few waving noises and the next thing he knew, he heard a loud 'VOIP' sound. And that was it.
Trying to figure out what happened and what he should do next, Ed walked down the hallway. Unluckily for him, however, House was there to give his opinion.
"Grumble grumble grumble!"
"Uh... what?" Ed asked the ceiling.
"Grumble grumble groan SARCASM!" It was House's distinctive overhead voice.
This confused Ed. Of course, grumbling was all House did, but even Ed knew that he had syllables... Ed just never bothered to distinguish the syllables.
Next to meet up with Ed was Yumi. Before Ed could greet her and ask her how she ironed her shirt (something he always wanted to know), she spoke. "RAGGLE FRAGGLE!" Her teeth were rows of white, sharp fangs.
"My name is Ed!" Ed smiled.
"Ragga ragge raggum! RAWR!" Yumi shouted at Ed.
Ed flinched. Fear was beginning to rise in him like bile. "Ed is who I am."
"RAGGAAA!" She swung her poorly drawn fists at Ed, who turned on his heels and ran the other way. Ed continued his lopsided run until reaching the next familiar face... the green, alien face of Zim.
"Tim!" Ed declared happily.
"zIM WiLl DeStROOOyyy YoUuu HUmaNs, DOom Fooorrr ALl!" Zim's demented lilt was magnified by fifty-nine.
"I SAY, I SAID, MY NAME IS ED!" Poor Ed was just plain frightened now and continued to run. Ed was so busy running he didn't notice every room and hallway in the house was enlarged and covered in pure lace frills and gold. And he kept running until he ran straight into a silver-haired mutant, Pietro, who was accompanied by the blonde ninja, Naruto.
"Wwstsiswtsa?" Pietro talked in such an inhumanly fast speed that it could not be translated into English.
"Hokage hokage ho hokage kage BELIEVE IT!" Naruto shouted, punching the air.
"I AAAAMMMMM EEEEEEED!" Ed ran as fast as he could yet again, desperate to escape his strange surroundings. As he ran, he ignored Zolo, who seemed to be simultaneously sleeping, drinking and swinging his swords (sleepwalking, of course). Starfire, who was radiating a pink aura shaped like daisies, was also ignored. Bender the robot was nowhere to be found.
Finally Ed took his most genius hiding spot... in the broom closet. There poor Ed sat alone, more confused than usual. Until a certain skeleton came to his rescue.
"Come out of dere, boy!" The Grim Reaper ordered. Grim seemed the same, only he was as scary as you could possibly hope a Grim Reaper to be. His black robe now bore numerous silver spikes and chains, and had red and gold flames and skulls decorating it in intricate patterns. Grim's actual skull now had fangs, a set of horns and a third eye socket.
Ed peeked out of a small opening he made in the door. "Am I... Ed?"
"Dat seems to be your catchphrase today. Yes, you are. But I don't care." Grim was visibly annoyed... and scary. "Where's me scythe?"
"Me see just fine!" Ed smiled his usual blank grin.
"Not your sight, you annoyin' boy! ME SCYTHE." Grim made a swinging motion. "De sharp, shiny ting."
"Oh, that! I made it go 'whoosh VOIP'!" Ed swung his hand. "Whoosh!" He flailed them a bit. "VOIIIIP!"
"OH... dat's just... splendid!" Now Grim was just angry. "Do you realize what you've done? You've gone and ripped a hole in de dimension!"
"Hole...?" Ed was distracted and therefore not paying attention to the content of what Grim was saying. Ed tended not to pay attention, but Grim's accent made it harder.
"YAH. HOLE. Haven't ya noticed how everyone is actin' so odd?" Grim pulled Ed out of from the safety of the closet. "Even de house itself is out of place. You did the deed, so of all people, YOU are unaffected. I'm just used to the effects of me own scythe, so I am normal, too. Mostly."
"What's up, meatbags?" Bender appeared, leaking beer and other forms of alcohol out of every orifice of his body.
"Hmph. Looks like he's relatively unaffected..." Grim observed.
Ed leaned forward towards Bender. "Ew, get away, meatbag! Meatbag!"
"Nope, that's Bender, alright!" Finding perfectly familiar faces made Ed a bit more secure and his blank grin looked like it was going to stay for a while.
"Focus, boy!" Grim snapped. "We need to fix dis!"
"True that, Bonebag," Bender agreed.
"But how...?" Grim thought aloud. "I don't tink just swinging de scythe again will work. Dat's like a sitcom... someone who's stupid gets hit over de head and becomes smart, den dey get hit again are back to being stupid. It would never work. It would probably make tings worse!" A pause for thought. "I know! I'll make a spell!" He pointed forward. "To de basement!"
"Heh heh... 'basement'..." Bender giggled as he followed Grim and Ed, leaving a trail of liquor behind him.
Grim flipped through a book titled Green Eggs and Spells. "Let's see... sewing holes back up in de dimension... reversing de effects of me scythe... ah! Here we are!" Grim put the book down. "Ed! Go fetch me chest!"
Ed pointed to Grim's rib cage (Grim should be glad he didn't just pull it off and hand it to him).
"NO, you imbecile! You're as bad as Billy! My trunk! With the lock!"
"Ohh..." Ed picked up the trunk and handed it to Grim, but paused first, holding it up to Grim's head. "It matches your eyes,"
"I don't HAVE eyes, you little fool! Put it down!" Ed dropped the chest.
"Heh heh... 'put it down'... that's so meatbag..." Bender giggled.
"Now, how did you open it in de first place?" Considering the fact that the chest still was still open and Grim was rummaging through it, he was asking for his own curiosity.
"My lucky, lucky cheese wedge!" Ed held the spoiled dairy product up, but Grim didn't even look up.
"I should be digusted by dat, but I'm not in the mood!"
"Now, dis elixir is de key to de spell that will close the hole in the dimension," Grim put a foul-smelling bottle of liquid down on the ground. It was smoking, and the steam coming out smelled like pure evil reincarnated in the form of a rancid gas with a hint of nutmeg. "Ed, pick up de scythe and swing it when I say so,"
"THE SCYTHE'S INVISIBLE, GRIM!" Fear returned to Ed.
"What? What did you- you left it upstairs, you dunce! Let's go get it!" He led Ed up the steps.
When they had reached the top, someone had gotten to it before them.