A/N: I was a bit reluctant to do an FF fic because I've only played a bit of FFX-2 and read the basics of FFX. I don't thinkI know the characters well enough to call this an In character story, so for now it's OOC, unless people tell me otherwise. also meant to be a one shot, but that may also change. I'm feeling very Tikkuish today, but I love Yuna to death and don't want her to be hurt either, so I'm a little torn. for now this is a Tikku fic, even though it's a little sad...It'll probably end well however...if I ever get around to adding chapters. i really like song ficcing, so if the lyrics in between bother you...erm...sorry, but they're there to stay! Thanks for sparing this a look and hope you like! oh, and as you will see, I like the "..." a LOT so...yeah...see?
Damaged
Rikku sat with her back facing the small temple on Besaid. The waves grabbed at her bare toes, just to retreat down the shore, leaving their wetness behind on the sand. The sun was setting in a wonderful cacophony of melancholy and early death, kind of like the color she expected to see when she died. When she did…She traced her fingers in the sand by her hips, troubled by her sad thoughts.
Dreaming comes so easily…
Cuz it's all that I've known…
True love is a fairy tale
I'm damaged so how would I know…
Was it because HE was back? Sure she'd been so happy for Yunie when Tidus had turned up on the beach…but not too happy.
There had been an odd kind of closure when Tidus disappeared that first time…a dream ending…If she couldn't have him…neither could Yuna…but then he'd come back…
Oh, that first time when Yuna shouted bloody murder on the gullwing bridge. The hurried huddle by the window…It was him…he was back…
Rikku stood up, brushing sand from her bottom. She started walking along the beach, her soft footfalls disturbing the sand…
Healing comes so painfully
And it chills to the bone
Will anyone get close to me?
I'm damaged as I'm sure you know…
Sure, if Rikku hadn't found him, Tidus wouldn't have ever even met Yunie, but she could cope with no credit in that area. What she couldn't really get out of her head was just how happy they'd looked. Like nothing she'd never known before. A feeling beyond her feeble attempts. Sure, everyone said she was bubbly and charismatic…but that's because before…she never thought she'd need anything more.
Being with Yunie and Paine was what made her happiest. What else was there? But of course there was a lot more…As Tidus had proven.
It kind of made her wish he'd stayed a bunch of pretty pyre flies…if only to keep away the conflicting feelings in her heart.
I'm scared and I'm alone
I'm ashamed
And I need for you to know
What a thing to think…to even think it…it made her feel scared. She kicked the sand, watching the bleeding sun on it's way down the sky. She wished just once…so many years ago, she'd told Tidus exactly what she'd felt. Sure he wouldn't have returned the feelings…but at least he'd have known, and not led her into false hope for so long…
His love for Yunie was whole and unrelenting…he saw Rikku as…a sister…a goofy Al-Bhed sister…
The thought made her curl her toes, reveling in the grit between them.
She should tell him…tell him precisely how she felt. Right now…as the sun set…
I didn't say all the things that I wanted to say
And you can't take back what you've
taken away
'Cause I feel you, I feel you near me
Rikku felt her hair stand on end. She heard footsteps…wet sloshy footsteps, like bare feet on wet sand.
"Hey Rikku! Wait up! What a sunset, huh?"
It was him…she could have sworn this was what she'd wanted a split second ago…Funny how fast desires change.
"Yeah…it's really something…" Like you…
"Aw shucks, I don't think I'd ever match up to the sunset no matter how dashing I may be!"
She'd said that out loud? She held her hands to her cheeks to hide the rising blush. "I didn't mean it! Oh gosh…stupid err…hormones…hehe…" she plastered on a smile.
Tidus smiled. "Keep those in check, for sure!" he put a comforting hand on her back as a freak wave came up and slapped against her calves.
This was it...now or never…
"Tidus I…I guess what I mean to say is…I see you as more then a…brother…and I'm not sure if I should…"
His soft blue eyes met her green ones. Locked forever in that gaze…she could live on that moment alone…
"Like…love?"
He'd hit the friggen nail on the head all right…Rikku looked away. "I know I shouldn't because you're Yunie's and I'd NEVER ever want to hurt her…"
Tidus chuckled. "You make me sound like she owns me!" he stopped, hand in hers.
"And she doesn't."
I didn't say all the things that I wanted to say
And you can't take back what you've
taken away
'Cause I feel you, I feel you near me
Rikku saw all the moments pass before her eyes. When she was younger…more naiive…maybe she'd have more guts to accept what she'd be hearing in a few seconds…But rejection was something that was harder to bounce back from.
Tidus leaned in and planted a soft kiss on Rikku's cheek. He lingered by her face much more then was wont, making delightful shivers go down her back.
"It's okay to feel what you feel. Because once, I felt it too. Don't ever forget that first love. It's what sets the standard for all to come after."
He pulled away, a sympathetic look on his face.
"It's…okay? But…aren't you mad at me? I shouldn't be…I never should have said anything…"
"Why would I be mad? I love you Rikku, as a dear friend, and sometimes like a sister. But I have a feeling this is important to you…it is, right?"
Rikku tried not to cry out in protest when he released her hand.
"Yeah…very…"
"I feel like…everyone has someone they were born for. I was born for Yuna, and she was born for me, you know? Someone was born for you…and you're here waiting for him to come sweep you off your feet!"
Rikku giggled, fingering a braid.
Once again silence reigned.
"You're a good soul. A very good soul. He'll find you…someday."
There's mending for my soul
An ending to this fear
Forgiveness for a man who was stronger
I was just a little girl, but I can't go back
Rikku felt it rising up in her throat, like an angry tempest, determined to ruin the dying sunset.
"But why can't he be you?"
I can't go back...
I must go on…
Why can't he be you?
A/N: well, there ya go! Don't worry Tikku lovers, help is at hand! I'm concocting a chapter as we speak, lol I changed my mind already!