Dear Sarah,

You really are a lovely child, your hair silky and dark as night and your eyes always full of wonder. And yet your beauty is more than skin deep; you have a caring soul which sparkles with life. You played my game with a grace, spirit and charm never matched by your predecessors. I will always remember you as the first and only human to defeat my Labyrinth.

But, listen, it was just a game.

All that rubbish about valentine evenings and living within you? It was merely a ruse to distract you from your goal. I do not want you to fear me. I do not want you to love me. I do want you to do what I say and stop wishing away yourself, your brother (he's 32 now, for goodness sake!) and every random neighborhood pet that falls within your line of sight. If it is not blatantly obvious by now, let me spell it out; I will not be coming for them, any of them.

Look, it is nothing personal, I just do not care for you in the way you care for me. At all. This does not mean I hate you, so will you please stop cutting yourself? It would simply never have worked. For one thing, I am about twenty-eight millennia too old for you and for another, we only knew each other for a bare few hours. Get over me and find yourself a nice boyfriend. Or girlfriend, whichever you prefer.

Actually, you rather remind me of one of my granddaughters (I have 241 grandchildren, now). She is only 1322 years old, which translates to about eight in your mortal reckoning, but she always has her head in the clouds, too. Her great dream is to become an Aboveground dentist, of all the ridiculous things. The goblin hates it when that one comes over, believe me.

And so, in closing, please refrain from fantasizing about me, moping about me and generally stalking me or I will be forced to take action, and it will not be pretty.

Respectfully,

Jareth

King of the Goblins