Chapter 8 (Epilogue)

Teyla stood at the back of the crowd formed by the Atlantis expedition. John was beside her and together they watched and listened as Dr. Weir gave a speech. Teyla only half heard the words that the other woman was saying, and when everyone began to cheer and applaud, Teyla could not bring herself to join in. Never had she expected that victory would feel so bittersweet.

With the drones they had found on that planet, they had accomplished the defeat of the Wraith. Dr. Zelenka had integrated them into the systems of both the Daedalus and the Nikephoros. When the Wraith found their way to Atlantis en masse, they'd encountered an unexpectedly strong resistance.

The expedition had been badly outnumbered, but with two ZPMs and more drones than they knew what to do with, it was really only a matter of time until the Wraith were destroyed. Teyla cringed as she thought of how many people had been lost in that battle alone. She did not know the numbers exactly, nor did she want to. But she did know that the crews of both Earth ships were severely diminished in strength, even if the ships themselves had made it through intact.

A single tear traced its way down her cheek as she thought of Ronon—he had never gotten to know the feeling of a Wraith free galaxy, a Wraith free life. It had been his life's goal, no matter how unrealistic it was for one man to achieve, to destroy every single last Wraith in the Pegasus galaxy. He had died only weeks before that goal had been achieved.

Teyla turned her head, looking to John for support, but all she saw was the gap in the crowd where he had previously been standing. A heavy sigh escaped her as she caught sight of him exiting the far side of the room. She wanted to go after him, but she knew that he needed some time alone.

Both Rodney's and Ronon's deaths had affected John greatly. Teyla could not blame him for being different, as she had changed as well. To say that it was hard to adjust to the deaths of their two best friends would be a severe understatement.

Teyla had witnessed much death her in her life, but this had struck her harder than any other time. Never had she been so close to a group of people. Ronon, Rodney and John constituted the family she had created for herself on Atlantis. Now half of that family was gone.

She blinked a few times, holding back tears that threatened to spill as the feeling of loss descended upon her. Sometimes the grief was bearable, but at other times it would hit unexpectedly and with overwhelming force.

Images of their bodies floated into view of her mind's eye, but she shoved them away. Her dreams were already haunted with them and she could not bear to see them in her waking hours as well.

Teyla forced her attention back to Dr. Weir, deciding that she would search for John after this was over. She listened to Elizabeth's speech, but didn't hear it. Instead she was swallowed up by memories of the past two weeks.

"Teyla…" Elizabeth said softly as she pulled back the curtain that was around the infirmary bed. "May I?"

Teyla fixed her eyes on the other woman and nodded. She would have tried to smile, but anything resembling happiness was beyond her abilities. "Of course."

Elizabeth looked relieved, and walked over to sit in the unoccupied chair beside the bed. "I'd heard you'd woken up. And I heard that you've already been out of the infirmary." She jumped straight to the point and Teyla couldn't help but admire it. It seemed wrong to put emphasis on insignificant pleasantries when there were important things to be discussed.

Dr. Weir stared at her intently for a few moments. "Thank you Teyla."

Teyla felt here eyebrows knit together in confusion. "I'm sorry?"

Elizabeth reached over and placed one hand lightly on Teyla's leg. "I know that you convinced John to stay. When he told me he was resigning I did everything I could to try and change his mind, but he just wouldn't hear it. I know that Carson tried as well, but no matter what, John was adamant in his belief that leaving was for the best."

Teyla felt the stinging sensation behind her eyes, but with no tears left to cry they remained dry. She was once again reminded of how close she had come to losing John. If she had woken up only a few hours later… it would have been too late.

"Teyla…"

She shook her head slightly to help bring her thoughts back to the present. "I am sorry."

"That's all right," Elizabeth comforted. "Should I get Dr. Beckett?"

"No," she said immediately. "I am fine." She took a deep breath. "John is remaining in Atlantis then?"

Elizabeth looked at her peculiarly. "Didn't he tell you?"

"Not explicitly," she explained. "But yes, I had suspected as much."

John had brought her back to the infirmary, half-angry with her for leaving in the first place. As soon as Dr. Beckett saw her, he'd rushed over and started to fuss over her, making sure that she was okay and chastising her for leaving without permission. Seeing that she was in obvious capable hands, John had kissed her forehead lightly and told her that he had some things to take care of. She had suspected he'd been going to see Dr. Weir, and apparently she'd been correct.

A thought springing to mind, Teyla began to talk. "May I ask you something, Dr. Weir?"

She nodded. "Of course."

"The Genii that killed…" She gulped, but forced herself to continue. "Those who are responsible for the deaths of Ronon and Dr. McKay…"

"Are dead." Elizabeth's face went from caring to hard in a heartbeat. "We sent two teams back to the planet immediately after you and John made it through the Gate. Luckily the Genii were interested in the drones, and they hadn't left yet."

Realizing that her fists were clenching the blankets tightly, Teyla forced her muscles to relax.

"So the Genii were there for the drones?" Teyla questioned, trying to keep the majority of the anger from her voice. Losing control of her emotions would not bring her friends back.

Elizabeth sighed. "We don't know for sure. But when our teams engaged them, they were poking around the Ancient storehouse, so that remains our best guess."

Just then the curtain opened to reveal John. "Sorry," he said quietly. "I can…"

"No John," Elizabeth interrupted as she stood up. "I was just finished. I'll leave the two of you." With that she slipped out, closing the curtain behind her.

John remained at the foot of the bed for a few seconds. Teyla used the short amount of time to take in his appearance. Although he looked better than he had that afternoon in his quarters, pain and guilt were still etched in the lines of his face. She wished that there was something she could do to lessen his pain, but at the moment she did not know how, not when she was already being overrun by her own emotions.

Perhaps John read something on her face, or perhaps not, but the next thing she knew he was sliding onto the bed next to her. He didn't say anything, just wrapped his arm around her shoulders and guided her head down to rest on his chest.

She settled in against him and wrapped her arms around him securely. It was not that she thought he was likely to disappear; it was just that she needed this… she needed him.

The joint funeral had been held two days later. Some had thought it a long time to wait, but the decision had been made for two reasons, or two people rather. By waiting it ensured that Teyla was out of the infirmary, and that Jeannie would be able to attend.

It some ways the funeral had been the hardest part, it meant concretely acknowledging that they were gone. Even now Teyla was not sure how she managed to get through the ceremony without breaking down.

The most difficult part had been the eulogies. John had been asked to give Rodney's, and she had given Ronon's. It had been impossible to put into words exactly how important and outstanding the two men had been, but they'd done their best. Teyla just didn't know if their best had done their friends justice.

She was forced to shut her eyes and take a few calming breaths in order to control her emotions. When she opened them she found the crowd of people happily milling about. Focusing on the front of the room she saw that Elizabeth had finished speaking, and people were now beginning with the celebration.

The thought made her feel nauseous. Logically she knew that the defeat of the Wraith was indeed something to embrace and cherish, but she could not do it… not when they had lost so much to get to this point.

Teyla wove through the crowd and headed for the door. Before long she was in the nearest transporter. Acting on a hunch she touched the screen at a point near the far west pier of the city.

---

She didn't rush to the balcony; instead she took her time. It had not been that long since John left the ceremony, and she was not sure if he still wished to be alone.

For a second Teyla thought that she hadn't correctly guessed John's location, but looking harder into the moonless night she could make out the dim outline of his figure on the balcony. Swiping her hand over the sensor of the door, she walked outside.

John did not turn to look, but from the slight shifting of his stance she knew he was aware of her presence. She silently made her way to stand beside him. For a while they simply remained like that, shoulder to shoulder, looking out over the city.

Just as Teyla was beginning to lose herself in the hypnotic sound of waves crashing against the pier, John broke the silence.

"I wish they were here."

Teyla placed a hand over one of his and twined their fingers together. "So do I."

He squeezed her hand lightly before continuing. "If anyone deserved to live to see this accomplishment…" He swallowed heavily. "It was them."

Teyla nodded, tears brimming in her eyes. "I know. And now that we have achieved this…" She took a deep breath. "I know that it is a momentous day, but…"

"Celebrating feels wrong."

"Yes," she whispered in response.

John sighed. "I guess I just thought that whenever we did defeat the Wraith, we'd all be here to celebrate together."

Teyla squeezed his hand lightly, offering what support she could.

John's voice was quiet, but she could still hear his words. "I thought that no matter what, no matter how many situations we got into, all of us would make it through." He paused for a moment.

"You think you have forever, but time is a gift."

The End

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has kept up with this story despite infrequent updates. I appreciate that you didn't give up on me. :) Also, thanks for the feedback. It's always very motivating. I'm not sure when I'll write another Atlantis fic, but until then, thank you.