Title: The Trouble with Turtles: Carson's George Adventure Part Two

After our first year in Atlantis, I returned home to my mum's for a short visit. She poured me a cup of tea as she shook her head, muttering, "There are plenty of adventures in life, Carson. I don't know what yours are, but don't let them get the best of you. Be a force of good and where something's wrong, you set it right."

She had raised me with such words, and it was also advice that she lived by. But hearing her that day made my hands shake until I had spilled burning tea on my hand. For I wasn't sure if I was a source of good or not, especially not after Hoff. But that was the thing about Pegasus, and maybe just life in general—things weren't always clear-cut white and black.

So that's how I ended up here, deep down in the ocean, the prisoner of mermaids and turtles, I had thought I'd been doing good, but all I'd really been doing was following a madman. And that madman just happened to be my best friend. Rodney was currently locked in a mad staredown with John, while George continued to guard the controls. There wasn't anything for Lorne and me to do but stand back and watch the insanity.

"Rodney."

"Colonel."

John's voice had reached new levels of frustration while Rodney's sounded more like a whiny two-year-old insistent on getting his way. Not being the best at staring contests, Rodney's eyes dropped first, but he covered with a higher raise of his chin.

John tried to move toward the pilot's controls, but George clicked his claws. Seeing no other choice, he walked toward Rodney's station, but George growled at that, too. With no option but to do nothing, he rubbed his temples and fell back on the bench. "I am ordering you to get us out of here."

"I can't do that."

"The hell you can't!"

"Just trust me."

Ah, and there were the magic words between these two. Neither of them had spent much of their lives trusting anyone, any blind fool could see that. Rodney, he trusted me and a few others, but mostly he had faith only in himself. And John…well, I could tell a lot of trust had been squashed out of him early on. So the fact that they did trust each other and did work together, well, it said a lot. And while that relationship had been threatened back on Doranda, it still remained strong. All one of them had to do was utter the key words, and the other would go to the ends of the earth to see it done. I'd then patch them up good as new so they could do it all over again.

So herein was the trouble. Rodney had said it and now John had to listen. He surveyed his friend with a cautious gaze, and I could see him trying to decide. He looked to George and to the empty ocean, and at last to me and Lorne.

"Don't you even think about it," I cut in. "I'm not standing by and watching someone drown on account of a crazy Ancient disease."

"I'm not going to drown, Carson!"

"Oh, grown gills have you now? And you mind letting me in on how you got these creatures of yours to defend you so enthusiastically?"

Rodney swung his hands enthusiastically into the air, hitting his left one against the bulkhead. He cried out, and stuffed the injured hand in his mouth. After a second, his arms were back to flailing. "Listen, I was here before, right? I knew the location of this place, so that proves it right there. I also knew about the mermaids. So stop thinking I'm crazy, will you? Something is very wrong and I need to figure out what it is."

"And the elixir?" John asked dubiously.

"It's what the mermaids used to cure George. They think it will provide the clue we need to see why all the animals are getting sick and how we can help. I already downloaded the psycho Ancient's database into our own so that will help some. Look, we need the samples so we can understand the research."

John glanced from turtle to madman and then to the few mermaids still floating in front. He stuffed his hands in his pockets, leaned further back, and then asked, "What guarantee do we have that you'll be safe."

"My word."

"Okay, what other guarantee—"

"I'll be fine."

I couldn't believe John was considering it, but I could tell well enough that he had already decided. Well, there wasn't anyway I was going to stand back and just let this happen. "Oh no, we're going back right this instant and I'm getting you both comfortable in some infirmary beds. There will be no more gallivanting on crazy adventures, not this month and not on my watch."

I'm not sure how I lost the argument, only that somehow I did. Sure, there was a bit more back and forth, but the end result was Rodney somehow or other ending up outside the jumper while Lorne and I watched, helpless. George remained in position at the front, running all the controls.

"This is a mistake," I mumbled for the hundredth time. No one argued, except George, who gave a good show of growling. Ah, that's right. He was most certainly the reason I lost the argument. He had taken over the controls, done as Rodney asked, and kept all of us back from stopping him. Apparently all of our arguing had been a moot point anyway. What good was bringing along two soldiers if they couldn't hold off one lousy turtle?

Rodney stood outside with his arms crossed, as if waiting for some miracle to happen. What his whacked mind was expecting was anyone's guess. But then I saw it. Among the swimming mermaids, a bubble grew. At first it blended in with all the other bubbles, but soon it grew so large that it was hard to miss. The mermaids bounced it between them on their tails as the thing expanded at about a cubic centimeter per second. Soon the bubble was bigger than a human and it was then that it stopped growing. The mermaid with the indigo tail kicked it lightly off her fin and toward Rodney. George flicked off the shield right before the bubble would have made contact. Just as water flowed forward, the bubble enveloped Rodney.

"What is that?" Lorne asked.

"I haven't a clue, Major." I pushed closer to the screen, looking for any signs that Rodney was in trouble. He wasn't blue or shivering or any of the other things you would expect a man dipped into the ocean to be. "He's breathing in there though. Looks like he might have known what he was talking about, after all."

"Yeah," this time it was John speaking, removing his head from his lap. "We'll see what condition he arrives back in. I say we hang around to see how he holds up."

"You won't be hearing an argument for me."

The three of us turned to George, because he was the one running the show now. He didn't seem to have any complaints, either.

….

The mermaids left Rodney in much the same condition they had last time. Soaking wet and barely breathing. Good thing I had anticipated this and had sprinted from the jumperbay to the docks. We had him back in the infirmary before any permanent damage could be done, while Lorne secured the equipment Rodney had brought with him and my nurses took care of John. As everything quieted down, George and I stayed by Rodney's side, sifting through the information he had downloaded from the underwater lab.

George. I wasn't sure what to think of that turtle anymore. He was all right, it seemed, if you weren't crossing him. But the moment you did something he didn't like? He was just dangerous. I knew Elizabeth was right, gentle or not, the creature didn't belong on Atlantis. The moment all this madness was over, I'd see to it that Rodney and John didn't try hiding the bugger.

"How's he doing?" John did his best to look nonchalant, but his worry never escaped me. He wiped the sleep drool away with a quick sweep and then pushed himself up.

"As I said, he'll be fine. Seems the Mermaids were able to take care of him after all."

"So he'll wake up soon?"

"Any moment, actually."

George must have decided that John made better company than myself, because he sauntered over to him, forcing his head into John's palm. John seemed hesitant at first, the turtle had sort of betrayed us after all, but George purred and John started caressing.

"One of these days, his crazy stunts aren't going to work out."

"Aye, I'm well aware of it. Hopefully we can get to the bottom of all this before anything more happens."

"You plan on running anymore scans?"

I fixed him with an incredulous stare reminiscent of my mother's.

"Good. Just checking."

Hours passed in which Zelenka, Lorne, Teyla, and Ronon all came to hold vigil at Rodney's bedside. I had passed along some of the grim information I had found, and the result was no one was willing to leave until Rodney woke up. Elizabeth took the opportunity to glare at all of us, letting us know she'd be expecting answers sooner rather than later. It would make for an interesting briefing at any rate, once we were sure Rodney was safe anyway.

Another two hours later, Rodney finally stirred. I wasn't sure why he'd been out for so long, and his pallor wasn't comforting. By now, my nurses had already ran him through an MRI, taken his blood, and checked a number of tests. Meanwhile, I'd been examining the so-called 'elixir'. More data had come back, but not much of it had been comforting.

Everyone watched as Rodney's baby blues focused on the world around him. He only put up a minor fight when I flashed my light in his eyes.

"I don't remember volunteering for torture, Carson. Do you have to do that?"

"Aye, and you know I do. How are you feeling?"

"Like someone dropped an anvil on my head."

"I'm not surprised. I've given you some stuff that should help with that. Any other complaints?" Asking Rodney to list everything that was wrong was a dangerous business. He might have a headache, but that wouldn't stop him from listing the tiniest cramp in his leg.

"Just a little sore and tired. But enough about that. Tell me you found something."

"You sure you're up for this?" Elizabeth asked. She and Teyla had found a gurney for a perch.

"I asked, didn't I?"

"Okay," I replied. "Everyone's here, so I suppose now is as good a time as any. Thanks to your crazy efforts, I had a few samples to test." I paused for dramatic effect. I'd already spoken some to the others about what I found, but I'd only be able to take in Rodney's expression once. "I think we finally have some answers."

"It was an Ancient experiment gone wrong," Zelenka interjected.

"Why am I not surprised?"

"Because these are the Ancients," John added. He was looking much better now that he had some more rest. It seemed our little adventure hadn't left him the worse for wear.

Taking back control of the conversation, I started checking Rodney's IV. "It was as we guessed, some kind of illicit experimentation. Apparently a geneticist was infected by a virus that affected his brain. It made him delusional. He sought to use genetic manipulation to make an army out of the planet's creatures, thinking they would protect him against the other Ancients. In his altered state, he believed they were trying to kill him. "

"He did come to his senses once the virus had passed through his system," Zelenka jumped in. "He was embarrassed and sought to hide all that he had done instead of letting the others know about it."

"Why does t his sound like a villain from a comic book?" Rodney rubbed his head gently, pulling his IV in the motion. Unable to help with the pain, I grabbed some water and held it out for him.

"Is there anything we could get for you, Rodney?" Teyla asked soothingly.

"Short of decapitation? No, I don't think so."

"You sure?" Ronon had remained so quiet that I had nearly forgotten he was there. He leaned against a nearby wall, looking ready to pounce on George if the turtle made any sudden moves. George was the first opponent in a long time that I wasn't sure whether or not Ronon would defeat. Not that I'd want to see that battle take place. It could only mean sleepless nights in my future.

"Yes, yes, I'm touched by all of you, really. Now, can we get back to what Carson was saying?"

"Once I understood most of this, I knew what to test you for."

"Wait a minute, over ten thousand years later and I have this thing? It must have bred and mutated and…I'm going to die, aren't I?"

"No, you're not going to die Rodney. Most of it's through your system. Best we can tell, you somehow came in contact with something that infected you with both the gene the geneticist had been experimenting with and the virus that had caused his insanity."

"What? How?"

"I'm not sure at this point. Now, if you keep insisting on interrupting, I'm never going to get through this."

Daft bugger. He always had to be speaking and flailing those arms, paying no mind to the way he interrupted the rest of us. One of these days I should invest in duct tape.

"Yes, yes, go on then."

"The gene was manufactured to change brain patterns so that one could communicate telepathically with animals. The same gene was used on the animals so the process could be reciprocated."

"So that's why I can hear the mermaids and why I always seem to know what George is thinking?"

"I didn't know about the last part, but aye, that sounds about right."

"Apparently it also attracts the animals to you so that they're more likely to serve you," John said, grinning. "That's why all the mermaids took a fancy to you. I knew there had to be some explanation."

Rodney pushed up on his bed, taking in the many faces around him. This meeting was probably larger than it needed to be, but I saw little point in kicking anyone out as long as they remained mostly quiet. I thought back to Earth and how conversations like this just didn't happen there. My dear mum had no clue this stuff happened around me, but she was a fan of a comic books and might have found it funny. I stared at George and realized that living in a comic might not be as grand as it was supposed to be.

"At any rate, as you know, George became sick. He's among the descendents of those with the Ancient gene and the telepathic gene implanted by the geneticist, and thus has both genes himself, but that's no reason for him to have the illness. So he must have attained the Ancient virus some other way. As for the genes, best I can tell, they remained inactive until a few weeks ago when you first came across him."

"We think," Zelenka said, "that you somehow reactivated everything on your trip to the mainland. Animals with the genes were immediately affected and drawn to you."

"Your own animal army, Rodney. Think of how much we could torment Elizabeth with that," Sheppard joked. He quieted down at Elizabeth's glare.

I took a deep breath before taking the conversation back again. Here was the hard bit, and Rodney wasn't going to like it anymore than we did. "But according to the geneticist's records, the mixture of the two genes is unsafe and causes a mutation within the cells. The animals became sick and so did the geneticist. Although he had survived the virus, he nearly died from the mutations before he was able to shut everything down."

I could see my words translate in Rodney's agile brain. With barely a pause for a reaction, he replied, "Are you saying this thing could kill me?"

"If we don't figure out how you activated it in the first place, it is a small possibility, yes."

"But you just said I wasn't going to die!"

"I said you wouldn't die from some mutated virus, which you won't. And you won't be dying from this either. All we need to do is shut down the telepathic gene and you should be fine."

"And how do you propose to do that, huh?"

"We go back to the mainland," John answered. "This crazy Ancient apparently had an outpost there. Also, it's where he was able to shut everything down. Ronon, Teyla and myself can go check it out."

"Aye, Lorne, Teyla and Ronon can check it out," I corrected, fixing John with a firm stare. If I blinked, he might up and escape again.

"And what about me in the meantime?" Rodney asked.

I held up a bottle of red liquid, the elixir the mermaids had used on George. "It's staving off the effects as we speak, just as it is for your turtle friend."

"Oh."

So there it was. Rodney had been right on us needing to get to that underwater bunker, or we wouldn't have known of the dangers. That was something at least. There was something to be said for following madmen after all.

I glanced down at Rodney, hiding my worry as best I could. I'd seen him come out of much harder straights than this, and I didn't think there was a chance this would be the one that would kill him, but just the possibility death made me uncomfortable. And boy, there was a lot of death to be had in this corner of the galaxy. Not surprisingly, Rodney was giving a good show of being panicked, but George had tossed his head into Rodney's lap, soaking up all of the attention that he could.

"We'll be okay," he assured it. "Okay. No reason to worry."

…

The mainland had a beautiful beach. We touched down on the red sand and then began gathering our equipment. John had been doing well enough that I finally gave in and released him to light duty, which somehow or another included the mainland. Ronon and Teyla had come to help in the search. Against my better judgment Rodney came instead of Zelenka, convincing us that if he really did run into something out here, he'd be the most likely person to guide us. And then George didn't give us any choice. So, we were quite the group that debarked from the jumper that day.

At least the mainland wasn't another planet, and I didn't have to travel through a bloody stargate to get here. I felt a bit guilty, worrying about such things when I was coming here to save a friend and his pets. Mother always told me not to count the cost, and she was right. If I had to march into a Hive Ship to save my patients, I'm not sure that I wouldn't.

George jaunted ahead of us with his hundred legs. I found the tiny limbs perhaps more disconcerting than the sharp teeth or claws. Maybe because they reminded me of creepy spiders.

"This would work a lot better if you'd move faster." Rodney and John had been bickering non-stop since we boarded the jumper. Apparently my forcing John to bring and use a cane had only provided fodder for Rodney, who was glad for once not to be the slowest.

"One more word, and I'm going to kick your ass with this cane."

"I doubt it. It's the only thing keeping you from falling on your ass. You're still just jealous that the mermaids like me more."

"Does the word brainwashed mean anything to you?"

"That's right. I have my own army of animals to command. Who do you think would win in a fight? Cane boy?"

Deciding it was best to just tune them out, I followed near Ronon and Teyla, the only two members who showed no signs of insanity. After an hour of wandering, Ronon asked, "You sure you know where we're going, McKay?"

"No. I told you before that I didn't see anything strange when I was here last. We're looking for a needle in a haystack."

"How does one miss bumping into a laboratory?" Teyla asked. She surveyed the surroundings with grace, walking over the land as if she were back on Athos. In a way, she wasn't as much a stranger to the mainland as we were, seeing as this place now housed her people. For however much longer that might last.

Rodney gave her a hurt look. "I think the more important question is how can I miss bumping into a lab. And I didn't miss it I just, ah, forgot that I had."

The conversation went on, while I soaked in the breeze. I didn't like going off-world much, but everyone needed some fresh air now and then. It had been months since my last trip here, and that was far too long to be healthy. Stripping my jacket from my shoulders, I basked in the sun's rays. It might not have been the most relaxing reason to be here, but it was doing my heart good nonetheless.

I must not have been paying enough attention to where I was headed, because the next thing I knew I had tripped over George. Ronon helped pull me up, while Rodney started asking George why he was refusing to move. George clipped his claws in reply.

"Why don't you just read its mind?"

"Oh, har har, Colonel. It's not something I can just turn on and off at will."

"What was the point of the experiment then?"

"Can we focus please?"

"And Teyla had a point. How come you can't remember running into any Ancient lab out here? Sounds like the first thing you would rave about."

"I already told you. I was following you down the shoreline when George started chasing me. I didn't see… Hold a moment. What's this?"

He knelt down to the sandy ground, taking a small red cloth in his hand. It took a few tries to shake it free of the sand. Its edges were tattered and its color faded.

"Isn't that your hanky?" John asked in his teasing voice.

"My handkerchief, yes. I don't remember losing it out here, though."

He closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath. John knelt next to him, surveying the ground for any more clues.

"Hang on, I remember it falling when I saw…" Rodney suddenly lunged forward to a nearby tree. "Why didn't I remember before? I had been following John when I tripped here and…where was it…" he started pressing different pieces of the bark as though searching for a button. I went to help him just as he must have found it, because there was a loud creek followed by the earth shaking. Teyla jumped back as the sand began to move beneath her feet.

"I believe we have found your lab," she said.

"No kidding. How are you just remembering this now?" John demanded while he and Ronon started examining the newly found entrance.

"I don't know. I remember thinking how cool this was and that I needed to come and tell you about it, but…" McKay's eyes went wide. "I was pinched by something. And then all this equipment went on and I…I don't remember."

"Carson," John asked, "is it possible the mixture of genes could have caused memory loss?"

"Aye, I suppose it is. I'm not exactly an expert on all of this."

I could feel my skin crawling as I watched Teyla and Ronon descend into the underground lab. There was just something creepy about finding this place through memories that had been temporarily lost. I looked at George, who had obviously led us here. He was standing by Rodney, looking rather proud of himself. Somehow he'd gotten a hold of some more chocolate and was gladly munching on it with those pointy teeth of his. Monster turtles and underground labs…what more was this day going to turn up?

Rodney and I were the last to climb down into the lab. There was an awful smell of mold about the whole place, and none of the lights seemed to work properly. The flickering was making me dizzy, and I was sure it wasn't helping Rodney that much, either. The lab was a tight fit, probably not made for more than one man and a few animal experiments to fit inside at one time.

"Lovely place, isn't it?"

"Perfect for the voodoo arts, right Carson?"

"Enough with the voodoo, Rodney. You've been the madman over the past few weeks, and don't think I'm going to let you forget it."

It was difficult to see if there was anything useful down here. Every time someone blew dust away from something, it would fly into the air and cause us all to cough and gag. Beneath my feet, I heard a distinct crunch. Sheppard pointed his torch, uh, flashlight at the site. Broken glass littered the floor atop a purple stain.

Running my tablet over the material, it was a confirmation. "The Ancient virus. We might have all just infected ourselves."

"You have the cure, right, from the last time?"

"The virus should pass through our system after a few days, if we are infected. We should all report to the infirmary as soon as we can." I didn't much like the idea of going crazy, but if I remained calm, Rodney was more likely to do so.

"You must have met George down here and that's how he became infected," Sheppard commented to Rodney, sweeping the rest of the lab with his flashlight.

"Yes, well, that would be the logical conclusion wouldn't it. I couldn't tell you, because I can't remember!" He shook his head, glancing around the lab as if he was desperate for any answer. He paused shortly, reaching over to a rusted console. A crevice the shape of a perfect circle was next to a small switch. There was nothing else to be seen on its counter.

"What is it?" John asked.

"I placed my hand here, trying to activate the power and I think I received a shock or something."

Rodney was a dazed man trying to reach out and hold his elusive memories. For someone who depended so much on his brain, it must have been driving him mad to see the evidence of its failures. Losing memories was always disconcerting, but I suspected it was more so for Rodney.

I put my hand on his shoulder and nodded him aside, surveying the circular print with my scanner. "There's genetic material here that matches the telepathic gene. It's possible that this is how the gene was transmitted."

"When I received the shock, I was startled. My arm hit the beaker that was sitting here and possibly even this switch. Fumes filled the room and I…I passed out. Next thing I knew, George was standing over me and I was outside."

"So there is a good chance this button is what activates everything?" Teyla chimed in.

"Yeah."

Rodney searched his tablet while the rest of us continued to search the lab. The mold was getting a bit much for me to handle, but I kept myself from leaving. I was somewhat surprised the ceiling wasn't coming down on us.

"It's a lovely place here, Rodney. You should think of making it your own lab."

"The second I have what I need, I'm never stepping foot here again."

"Can't see why," Ronon replied. I suspect it was his idea of a joke, but it was always hard to tell with the Satedan.

"Okay," Rodney finally spoke twenty minutes later, "This is really it. It emits some pulse, right now it's on. All we have to do is essentially turn it off, then it will disable the gene on a worldwide scale."

"So all you have to do is push it? Seems a bit…?" Sheppard asked disbelievingly.

"Yes, sometimes, although I admit it is somewhat rare, the answers are that easy."

He flicked the button before anyone else could chime in, and that was it. There was no pulse that we could see or feel, just a quick beep from our tablets. It was about as anti-climatic a solution as we'd seen in a long time.

"That's it?" Ronon asked.

"Don't jinx it," John warned. Then he turned to me, trying to act as if he weren't leaning heavily on his cane, "Can you confirm anything changed?"

I waved my scanner over Rodney's body, then nodded. "I'd have to run some more tests back at Atlantis, but it appears to have done the trick."

My mum always told me to do good where I could. To set right the wrong when it was in my power to do so. Well, we just saved a ton of animals from having to read Rodney's thoughts and that's about as big an act of mercy as one could give, even if the results didn't come with bells and whistles. More importantly, it sounded like we had managed to save Rodney's life along with the other animals. It seemed too good to be a true end to all the madness, but something about it felt right.

We crawled back to the surface where George was waiting for us. He looked at Rodney with the same recognition as before, but it could have just been because he was a smart turtle. When he started to follow us, Ronon stopped. "It's not coming with us," he said. John and Rodney were all set to argue, but I knew he was right. The turtle didn't belong on Atlantis and there was no way Elizabeth was going to let us land with the thing.

I put my hand on Rodney's shoulder. "You can visit him when you like, but I think it's time to say goodbye."

Rodney looked like a ten-year-old being asked to get rid of his favorite puppy. John didn't seem much happier.

"It's the way it has to be," I explained.

In the end it was George that bowed his head and started to back away, as if he knew there was only one way this could go. Rodney waved goodbye while John pretended not to care, and then we returned to the jumper.

The trip back was made in silence. Preliminary scans showed the Rodney's dual genes had stopped fighting one another, seeing as one of them had been turned off. No headaches. No paleness. Part of me was a bit sad that I wouldn't get to see Rodney crazy again because there was a certain entertainment value to the whole thing, but it was really for the best. Not just for Rodney's health but for my sanity as well.

"You'll be able to visit." I tried such ways of comforting him, and he just shrugged them off, pretending he didn't mind so much.

"Don't worry, buddy," John said, "We'll find a way of getting him back to Atlantis. With or without Carson's help."

I gave my best glare and shake of the head. These two were insufferable, even if they were my friends. They were also good at whatever mischief they had in mind.

Two weeks later, and I somehow got it in my head to visit George. Apparently the Ancient virus had affected all of us, and I figured there was nothing like a trip to the mainland to celebrate recovery.

Ah, the virus. John had seen clowns wherever he went, while Ronon started randomly screaming about bouncing Wraith. I had kept insisting I was a knight errant on a great mission to rid the universe of all things purple. But that was out of my system now, and checking up on George seemed a perfect ending to the madness.

My mum told me to come to Atlantis and find my adventure here, to seek out the opportunity that I thought was so great. While it was true that many days I wanted to just run away and not have to deal with this place, there were moments when the insanity made me smile. I was among friends and family and we were doing our best to do good in the world, and to do right by a people that had been wronged so many times in its past. There were dangers around every corner, and each day seemed to come out of a comic book, but life had meaning, and friendship was more than just a word.

I thought I'd tell George all about this, once I found him. I pushed past foliage while breathing in the wonderful fresh air. I'd been at it for over an hour, but there was no sign of the monster turtle. As day began to break, I returned to my jumper only to see Elizabeth had left a message to call back as soon as possible.

"What can I do for you?" I asked when she said hello.

Her voice was frazzled and angry enough to cook bacon with. "He is back, Carson. That giant turtle somehow made its way back into Atlantis."

I couldn't help but laugh. I hadn't expected anything less from John and Rodney, I just didn't think they'd manage to get him back so soon.

"I'll be right there," I replied before cutting communications.

That was the trouble with turtles, especially monster ones named George, they just couldn't stay away. And I was beginning to enjoy every moment of it.

THE END (For real this time. I hope you enjoyed George! For more George you can read: John and George's Christmas Adventure or Mr. Woolsey Meets George the Turtle.)