26th April

I woke up early this morning again. Trust me, waking up to the sound of Blondie (Claire) and Charlie making out, isnt the nicest feeling in the world. Anyways, Freckles cut my hair again today, i must say, im lookin' hawt! I think we've gotten quite close since the crash, i mean, she doesn't think im a complete arsewipe anymore, its a bit of a bruise in my bad boy reputation, but one person liking me isn't going to make me nice. God, it hurts to even say that. -shudder-

Well it's obvious that she's meant to be with Jack but, the doc has nothin' on me, i mean...i'm so...damn hawt!

28th April

Today i thought i'd treat myself to some mango and Dharma cream. All the Dharma stuff tastes like shit, but at least it goes with the mango. Hurley very nearly missed my head when he threw a jar of penut butter at me, maybe he lost his temper because i kept calling him fatty boom boom. Heehee! He gets so mad when you call him names, but holy shit, that guy packs a punch. I suppose it is a bit mean to make fun of his weight, but what the hell do i care?

Me and Freckles went into the jungle today, ate some fruit, some Dharma cookies, yuck! they were foul! Doctor smiley of course found us and decided that the phrase three's a crowd no longer applied to him.

29th April

We played spin the bottle tonight, and truth or dare...that was very interesting. I dared Jack to eat a rotten mango...eeew...

Anyways, Hurley got dared to run naked down the beach, (my own handiwork of course), I got dared to dance with only a thong on, that was embarrassing, but no-one could have been prepared for what happened next, the one person on the island who people suspected to be innocent - Libby -dared Jack to get naked, run into the sea, strap a fish around his manhood and sit on kates knee. The fish of course was alot harder to catch when he was naked, but when he actually caught one...lets just say, we saw bits of Jack I hope i never ever see again...EVER.

After that, while we were playing spin the bottle, i span it and of course, it hust so happened to land on Locke. -shudder- I of course refused and my punishment was dancing around the pole that earlier that day Charlie had made for a joke. Everyone was watching and of course, being fully clothed wasnt enough so i had to get into that thong again, lets just hope no-one will remember tonight...

1st may

Im still getting the shit teased out of me for that pole dancing the other night, well im glad i wasn't forced to kiss a man...uuuh...

I found another parachute with food in it today, i stole as much as i could get, but when i came back, the doc of course was there and he decided to get locke to gather the other peoples. God, i hate that guy some times. Well i went for a little walk and i found another boar, i thought that i would come back and get praised but clearly people have forgotten that Dharma is the shittest food ever made, i feel ill just talking about it. Well i still have the guns, so i can go out and shoot some trees, i've gotta vent my anger on somethin!

2nd may

I might give up all this diary stuff, its annoying to have to write in it all the time!

But i like the opportunities when i like to say hawt, cos its such a damn fun word to say, heehee! HAWT! That is of course referring to me, all these damn people have this idea in their head that Jack is hotter than me! They've clearly been on the island for too long! Anyways, today was uneventful, i did a little more walkin', i think Hurley should go on a walk once in a while, hes been on the island for nearly two months and the guy hasn't dropped three pounds! I mean, i know some people find it hard to lose weight but thats just takin' the piss!

7th may

I havn't written in ages because nothing has happened. I mean nothing.

Well today we did some random stuff, I had a few liquors with Freckles, i think Charlie and Blondie were away doing what they do best, God, ever since those two made up all they do is make out and have...erm...do stuff.

After we had a drink, me and Kate headed down to the beach, singing of course, the words:

PRETTY WOMAN,

WALKIN' DOWN THE STREET!

PRETTY WOMAN,

NOT LIKE YOU USED TO MEET!

This can get extremely annoying especially when your a tired pregnant woman whose husband can barely speak a word of English. I think it was Jack who threw his shoe at us at one point, of course we were far too pissed to know who it was...ahh...good times