Hey all it's me again with a funny story this time! This one won't be long, maybe a few chapters, but hey, my other one took a month to write! So, lemme know if I've got something here, or if it's a dud!

Disclaimer. Get away, I know I don't own a thing, Jesus, lay off!

Revenge Isn't Always Sweet

Chapter One: Getting Mad

Kagome opened her eyes, and stretched languidly in the morning sun. Rolling over, she met a furry lump on her pillow, and it mewed loudly, swatting her face.

"Buyo!" she giggled, dumping the cat off onto the floor. Buyo landed with a "Meeeooowww!" before running from the room.

She rose and got ready to take a hot shower, but before she could leave the room, her window slid open and Inuyasha jumped in with a rude, "Jeez, took you long enough to wake up, Kagome! Were you going to sleep all day?"

Glaring over her shoulder, she said, "Good morning to you too, Stinky Pete!"

Inuyasha sniffed himself. He didn't smell…did he?

She walked away laughing, having effectively silenced the proverbial lamb.

Slamming the bathroom door closed and cranking up the radio, it was a good hour before Kagome was ready to face the world, dressed and ready to cross over to Feudal Japan.

"Inuyasha!" she screamed, and grabbed an apple off the table, kissing her mother good-bye as she went.

"Have fun, dear," Mrs. Higurashi said, waving, and Kagome replied, "Always, Mom! I'll be home in a week, if all goes well!" Her grampa walked away rubbing his ears from the repeated word "Inuyasha" ringing in his head.

Inuyasha snorted as he closed the door behind them. "Feh, whatever, you'll come back after we find some more shards, and no sooner."

She stopped in her tracks. "What crawled up your butt and died?" she demanded, crossing her arms.

"What do you mean?" he asked, frowning.

"I mean you've been a ray of friggin' sunshine ever since you came over this morning, you're grouchier than usual! Did a clandestine meeting with Kikyou get interrupted last night or something?" She turned away with this last and flung open the Well-house door. Kikyou was only one of many sore spots between the two.

He growled, "No!"

"Then what's your problem?" She dropped the big yellow bag over the edge and swung a leg over after it. He grabbed her arm and pushed them in, the blue flash of light signalling their arrival in the past.

"I don't have any problem," he said, as he hoisted her out of the Well.

"Then cheer up! I like you so much better when you're not putting on your tough guy act, which, by the way, is getting old and -" he pulled her into his arms and kissed her mouth, effectively silencing her complaints as he sucked her bottom lip till she melted in his arms and opened her mouth for his perusal.

"Wasn't expecting that," she breathed when he released her.

"Sorry I was grouchy earlier," he whispered, stroking her arm and leaning his forehead against hers.

"All this mushy stuff is still new to me, and I hate when people watch us."

"Was Souta watching when we left?"

"Yeah."

She rubbed his nose with her own. "Don't be shy, Inuyasha," she purred, "let him look. He'll get disgusted and turn away pretty quick, I can guarantee it!"

They both laughed, intimately, and she began to sift her fingers through his long white hair as he breathed in her scent, letting it coat the inside of his nose and savouring the uniqueness that was his Kagome.

With his arm wrapped tight around her shoulders, they walked toward Kaede's, talking quietly until Kagome was attacked by a flying ball of orange fluff screaming her name.

"Kagome!" Shippo cried, hugging Kagome as if she'd been gone a month and not just two days.

"Shippo!" she returned, hugging the sweet little kitsune boy, and pulling a box of Pocky from her bag, waving it in front of him. Squealing in delight, he thanked her for the treat and took off to share his fortune with Kirara, who also loved Pocky.

"You know, he's gonna get fat someday," Inuyasha remarked off-handedly, and Kagome squeezed his butt. He jumped.

"Well, as long as you stay just the way you are," she winked and sashayed away, giving him a prime view of her backside, "we won't have any problems with attraction, sweetheart." She laughed out loud, and he joked,

"Just don't let me see you pigging out on my Ramen, and then we'll do just fine!" He began to chase her, and she screamed and took off, barely eluding him, but eventually she let him catch her, and rolled with him on the grass, where they began making out. That was where Miroku found them, ten minutes later.

He coughed.

That didn't work.

He cleared his throat.

That didn't work, either.

He yelled, "Inuyasha looks like a girl and Kagome has a fat butt!"

Still nothing, but they were giggling uncontrollably now as they tried to ignore him.

Finally, he resorted to his last card, and yelled, "Oh, Kami no! Kikyou just walked by in a string bikini! Gross!"

Inuyasha, having just recently learned the benefits of the string bikini, jumped up and yelled, "Where? For the love of Kami, tell me!" and he grabbed Miroku by the collar and began to shake the crap out of him.

Kagome sat up, angry. "What? You're just going to drop me to run after some scag in a bathing suit!"

Inuyasha crouched down in front of her, dropping Miroku on his rear end in the dirt. He landed with a poof of dust and an, "Ouch! Damn it! That hurt!"

He shook his head patiently. "No, no, no," he said, "I was going to get it back for you, since she so obviously stole it from you. No one steals from my woman!"

She looked skeptical. "Not even your former woman?"

"Not even my form- wait, what?" he paused, confused, and she sighed.

"Men. You're all the same." Picking up the yellow bag, she walked dejectedly away, searching for Sango. 'She'll have a good rock to throw,' Kagome thought, smiling in anticipation.

Inuyasha stared after her. "What just happened there?" he asked Miroku, who came to stand next to him as they watched Kagome walk off. He rubbed his backside wryly.

"You have to ask?" he said, following her.

"It was because you mentioned Kikyou, you idiot," Inuyasha concluded, standing before him and making Miroku stop. "Way to go, moron!"

Miroku raised a brow.

"First of all, Inuyasha, the only moron here is you.

"Secondly, my mentioning Kikyou had nothing to do with anything, it was you being so eager to go after her that upset Lady Kagome.

"Thirdly, if you knew anything about women at all, I wouldn't have to tell you everything and we wouldn't be having this conversation. Now, if you'll excuse me," he stepped around Inuyasha here, "I have a sore ass to take care of, and unfortunately it isn't you." He hobbled by, cackling at his pun through his pain, and limped away.

Inuyasha glared after him, mumbling, "It's not like you really know any more about women than I do, houshi," he slowly began to follow, "I don't see any girls rushing to offer their services in bearing your children."

"I heard that!" Miroku yelled over his shoulder. Inuyasha only snorted and looked away.

'Stupid humans,' he thought.

Kagome found Sango sitting with Kirara, polishing her Hiraikotsu. She plopped down next to her and heaved a huge sigh, but said nothing as she propped her chin up with an arm resting on her knee.

"Something the matter, Kagome?" she asked, setting the giant weapon aside and turning to face her best friend.

Kagome sighed again, then turned to look at her.

"I just don't get it, Sango," she started, dropping her hand. "He says he wants to be with me, but he jumps at every opportunity to go see her."

They both knew who Kagome was referring to.

"Well, Kagome, I don't know what to tell you, besides my opinion. I think Inuyasha is a two-timer, and we should teach him a lesson."

Kagome thought this over; slowly an evil grin began to spread, until it took up her whole face.

Sango smiled in return.

"I thought you'd like that," she said, laughing.

"So, what should we do to him?" Kagome asked, excited.

She and Sango whispered conspiratorily until Miroku came into sight, so the girls opted to move to the hot spring to continue their plans.

Sesshoumaru stopped. 'There you are,' he thought, sniffing hard. Walking back toward the scent, he ordered Jaken and Rin to stay behind.

"My Lord, where are you going?" Jaken asked his back, which didn't answer as it disappeared. He sighed, but did as he was told…again.

Sango laughed out loud at Kagome's plan. "Oh, that's a good one," she said, wiping a tear from her eye. Sesshoumaru heard splashing and laughter, and approached the noise from upwind, hiding behind a boulder. If his suspicions were correct, the miko, Kagome, would be found on the other side of the very boulder he leaned against. He decided to eavesdrop before making his presence known.

"I know, eh? Can you imagine the look on his face when he wakes up? Oh, I can just see it now," she held up her hands as if they were a camera, and she was snapping pictures.

"You know what else is fun? Filling a sleeping person's hand with shaving cream, and then tickling their nose," Kagome told Sango, who started to howl and pound the rock next to her with her fist, tears streaming down her face at the thought of Inuyasha, or even better, Miroku, covered in shaving cream!

Sesshoumaru chuckled quietly to himself. That sounded pretty damn funny.

He popped up over the rock, and smiling, said, "So, ladies -" when both ladies screamed their heads off, and scrambled for shore, and dry towels.

Sango threw a well-aimed rock, and cracked Sesshoumaru off the nut, hitting him square between the eyes. He dropped like the rock she'd thrown at him, unconscious.

She and Kagome stared at each other, the shock wearing off, and soon they started to laugh. Wrapping their towels around them, they stood over the demon Lord, and wondered what to do with him.

"Umm…oops," Sango said, and Kagome started to laugh again, and so did she. When they had calmed down a bit, Kagome said, "Do you think he's dead?"

"I dunno," Sango said, "but if you wanna know so badly you go check!"

Kagome crouched, clutching her towel, and reached a hand out to Sesshoumaru's neck, and felt around for a while. A good while.

Sango began to get impatient. "You know," she said, tapping her foot, "if you can't find it he's probably dead."

Kagome waved her off, still searching. Finally, to her relief, she found his pulse, and it was very faint, but it was there.

"Well, he's not dead," Kagome concluded, standing up. She nudged him with her toe. He gave no response, but he shifted slightly.

"What do we do with him now?" Both girls stood around, looking at everything but him and each other.

"This is ridiculous," Sango said finally, walking to her clothes and putting them on. "I say we leave him. He's a demon, he can take care of himself."

Kagome, however, had taken a more comfortable position next to him, and was softly stroking his smooth brow, worried, for some reason, about his well-being if they were to just leave him. She sighed.

"You go Sango, I'll stay till he wakes up. If you're not here then he can't kill you for throwing that rock, not that I'd let him kill you anyway," she said, and Sango, unafraid of Sesshoumaru, cocked an eyebrow. She knew Kagome was mad at Inuyasha, but - suddenly a smile spread across her face as a totally evil, diabolical idea popped into her head and began to take shape.

She giggled. "What?" Kagome asked.

"I just came up with the perfect idea for getting back at Inuyasha," she said, and Kagome tilted her head in question.

"Well? Don't keep me in suspense!"

She crouched next to her best friend and leaned close. "Here's the plan," she began, "and it all depends on him." They both looked to Sesshoumaru, sprawled in the dirt, completely unaware of anything but a dark cloud in his mind.

When Sesshoumaru came to, there was a girl on him, and he smiled. Girls were so nice, and he was pretty sure he had another one…somewhere…maybe. He didn't really care at the moment.
Wrapping his arms around her, he mumbled, "Hey baby," and tried to kiss her, and to his surprise, she didn't resist!

'Yeah!' he thought. 'Finally! I found a woman who doesn't resist my advances! Woot!'

When he broke the kiss, Kagome said, "Sesshoumaru?"

He looked at her. She looked vaguely familiar, but he couldn't place her. She was pretty.

"Is that my name? 'Cuz I think I died and went to heaven to have you here in my arms," he said, using the best pick-up line he could think of.

Kagome blinked. It was definitely a surprise when he kissed her, but now he was trying to pick her up. She felt…womanized. And she didn't like it.

"Sesshoumaru, snap out of it!" she said and smacked him a good one, leaving a bright red mark on his face.

He was stunned. No woman had ever slapped him before!

He was reasonably sure he was a stud, but decided to check at the next reflective surface he happened upon.

"Excuse, me?" he retorted, rubbing his sore face. She blinked. Had he lost his memory? There was no way in hell a normal Sesshoumaru would act so…not himself. Gone was the cold façade, and in its place was a womanizing freak! She decided to test this theory, just to be sure.

"Sesshoumaru, I'm sorry for slapping you," she said, pouring on her most innocent and sincere face, "and I just feel awful about it. What can I do to make it up to you?"

She batted her eyes.

He went nuts.

Grabbing her hair, he jammed his mouth to hers and sucked her lip till she opened up, then proceeded to choke her with his tongue. 'He definitely needs kissing lessons! He doesn't know the first thing about it!' she thought before she coughed, and shoved him away. He licked his lips in satisfaction, while she tried to retrieve her tongue - from her stomach.

"That was…nice," she said after a moment, and he grinned. He looked around, not recalling where he was, or how he got here. He turned to ask the girl when he saw a white-haired man standing behind her, seething in anger, his sword drawn.

'Holy shit! This guy's sword is huge!' he thought, jumping up.

Kagome looked behind her and yelled "Gack!" and got out of the way, as Inuyasha screamed her name in rage.

"Kagomeeeeeee!"

Sesshoumaru looked at his waist, where two swords hung, one bigger, heavier, and longer than the other. He grabbed the bigger one and with a, "Take this…guy!" he whipped Tokijin from his sash.

Everything fell apart after that. Literally.

There was a long drawn-out riiiipppp as the sash holding Sesshoumaru's entire outfit together was sliced open, and it fell off, followed by Tensaiga, his body armour, his shoulder spikes, and lastly, his pants. Even his poofta fell off, and Inuyasha had thought that was attached.

Kagome couldn't help it, she pointed and laughed, and the harder she laughed, the redder Sesshoumaru got, and the louder Inuyasha howled, clutching his sides and dropping Tetsusaiga as he rolled in the grass. Kagome dashed behind a tree and peed, while Sesshoumaru tried to replace everything, but failed miserably.

To Kagome and Inuyasha's astonishment, he began to swear.

"Fuck!" he screamed, and took out the nearest tree. "Fuck, fuckety, fuck fuck!"

Taking a deep breath, he saw both of them staring at him as if he'd grown another head…or something worse.

Feeling sorry for him, Kagome dressed, then threw him her towel to put around his waist, while she helped him carry everything that had fallen off his person.

Inuyasha led the way back to the village, whispering heatedly to Kagome while Sesshoumaru followed quietly behind.

"Give him a break, Inuyasha!" she whispered, glancing behind her. Sesshoumaru pretended he didn't hear her and looked at something he passed.

"Why should I? I caught you kissing my bastard half-brother," he hissed, "it's you I should be skinning right now, if that escaped your notice?"

"Well, I wouldn't have done it if you hadn't pissed me off earlier! Besides, it's not like I enjoyed it," here she got closer so she could talk quieter, "he kisses really badly. He almost killed me, poor guy. I don't think he's ever kissed anyone before in his entire life."

Inuyasha looked back now, too. Sesshoumaru, a bad kisser? Ha. Now that was funny. He'd have to remember that.

"Still, I'm surprised at him, he's not acting like himself."

"I know," she replied, and brushed towel lint off her jeans. "I thought for sure he'd at least remember who you were."

He stooped and looked at her. "Now what's that supposed to mean?" he demanded, grabbing her arm to stop her from continuing.

"Oh, for Kami's sake! Don't even get me started! You are mortal enemies, or have you forgotten?" By now they were shouting at each other, and Sesshoumaru found that he took great pleasure in the dog-boy's displeasure.

"No, I haven't forgotten! It just sounded like you were implying something back there that you shouldn't have been!"

"Whatever! No wonder people don't like you, we really need to work on your people skills, Inuyasha!" With that, she stomped away, leaving Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru alone.

"Damn it!" Inuyasha muttered.

"Blow it with the lady again? You know, maybe if you said a few kind words, dropped a few subtle hints... "

"Shut up, Sesshoumaru!" Inuyasha growled. "You are the last person on this Earth I'd take romantic advice from, so don't waste your breath! Besides, Kagome told me you couldn't kiss your way out of a paper bag, so just don't bother!"

Feeling better, Inuyasha strolled away, happy now that he'd vented his anger.

Sesshoumaru, however, pouted, his ego wounded, and followed, thinking, 'My advice is good, what's he talking about? I'm a bad kisser?'

Kagome stormed into the hut to the sound of a hentai being put in his place by a righteous woman, and dropped what she was carrying of Sesshoumaru's belongings on the floor.

Sango raised a brow. "What is that?" she asked, knowing full well but wanting to hear what Kagome had to say.

"This," she said, "is what happens when you hock a rock at someone's head, knock him out, and then wake him up only to find out he's got amnesia, doesn't know you, and tries to defend your honour!" she screamed, then huffed, saying, "I'm going home. I need to get some drugs, I think my head's going to explode. Excuse me."

Sango smiled. "By all means," she said, and whupped Miroku upside the head.

"Ouch!" he yelled.

"If you think I'm blind, you might want to get your eyes checked," she informed him curtly. "I can see your hand coming a mile away, buddy, so don't even think about it!"

His hand twitched and he pulled it back into his lap, in Sango's direct line of sight.

She grinned. "I knew you'd see things my way."

He snorted. "Don't have much choice, not with the way you've been hitting," he mumbled and she laughed.

"Oh, Miroku," she said, pulling him close by the collar, "you have no idea what you're up against." and shoved him back, so his ass landed square in the fire pit, ash and soot all over the backside of his robes.

"You wound me, Sango," he retorted, and brushed himself off. "If only you'd let me, I could change your whole perspective on men and romanticism!"

She again raised a brow. "Yeah, I'm sure," she said, walking out the door, leaving Miroku and his treacherous hands behind.

Sango seethed inside her head. What right did that monk have to think he could just feel her up whenever he wanted? He was getting to be a problem, and her constant threats and blows didn't seem to be deterrent enough to him anymore. 'Well,' she thought, 'gotta give him points for persistence…I guess.'

She caught up with Kagome before she reached the Well, and called out her name.

"Kagome! Wait for me!"

"Oh, Sango, it's you. I was afraid it was Inuyasha, and I was going to give him the sit of all sits. I'm almost disappointed that you weren't him." Both girls grinned at each other, then said simultaneously, "Almost!" and cackled like two old witches.

"You know," Kagome said, slapping Sango on the back, "I think we should do something totally different, since my attempt at revenge on Inuyasha just went down the toilet. What do you say you come home with me, and we'll make each other up real nice, and come back and give them a night to remember? I'll buy some booze," she said as an afterthought, "and we can get them pissed up, too. Then we'll make them play strip poker!" Sango laughed; she thought it was a great idea.

"Lead the way, Kagome," she said as she grabbed her arm, and both girls disappeared into the Well, a flash of blue light the only evidence of their passing.

Inuyasha fidgeted, then itched. Then he scratched his ear. Blinked his eye. Finally Sesshoumaru had had enough and smacked him upside the head. Inuyasha growled and reached for Tetsusaiga, then backed off as he remembered that Sesshoumaru wasn't himself, and there was no honour in killing him if he didn't know who he was.

He sighed. Where had Kagome and Sango gone? Shippo said he didn't know, and Miroku was just generally pissed off, which was odd for the normally unflappable monk.

Everyone was in a bad mood. Shippo was mad because Kirara ate all his Pocky when he wasn't looking, then puked it up on him ten minutes later. Apparently cats weren't supposed to eat chocolate. That was the lesson for the day.

Sesshoumaru was mad because everyone had laughed at him, and he sat diligently trying to repair his ripped sash.

Inuyasha was bored out of his mind; he needed to kill something, but nothing was available.

Miroku was frustrated with his strategy for wooing Sango; he had carefully planned his moves and they were getting him nowhere! Drat! Maybe the fact that he was writing them in plain view on the wall and she could read them was the reason his plans were going awry, but he was pretty sure that wasn't it.

Kirara was sleeping off the Pocky that had come back to haunt her, and Kaede sat quietly, wondering why there were so many men in her hut and why none of them were her age.

All turned toward the door several hours and three trips to the bushes outside the door later, when they heard laughter, the clink of glass, and two very pretty girls headed their way.

Miroku knew an opportunity when he saw one, and he pushed Kaede out the door, saying hastily, "Could you go away for a while, Kaede? We have some…ahem, entertaining to do."

Sesshoumaru nodded eagerly, while Inuyasha looked clueless. Shippo bonked him on the head, and he seemed to get the idea. "Yeah…yeah! Yeah, we need the hut ya old hag, so get the hell out!"

Inuyasha rudely pushed her off the porch, and Kaede mumbled, "Baka hanyou, pushing me out of my own house…" before she ambled off to do whatever it was she did in the village when she wasn't at home.

Kagome and Sango entered the hut, to a series of smiling men, and burst out laughing when all bowed politely before them, Inuyasha a bit stiffly.

"Such gentlemen," Kagome complimented, and they all rubbed the back of their necks in embarrassment.

'Oh,' she thought, 'this is going to be sooo easy!'

Sango set down the bags they'd brought, and dumped them out on the floor. Inside, she'd been carrying three cases of liquor, a deck of playing cards, and a case full of CDs, while Kagome put her portable CD player on the floor, and popped a CD inside that Sango threw to her.

"Alright boys, looks like you could use some cheering up," Sango yelled, and all the men nodded enthusiastically, except Shippo, who Miroku had punted out the door when no one was looking.

Kirara slept like she was dead, so no one paid her any attention.

Kagome turned the music up loud, and Sango began to pass the drinks around.

Sesshoumaru sniffed his. "What is this?" he asked, then swallowed some, liking it very much.

"It's a cooler," Kagome said, and popped the caps off four more bottles, then began to dance with Sango as the boys watched, entranced.

After three coolers Miroku was dancing with them, and Sesshoumaru was stripping off his clothes, complaining of the heat, and Inuyasha was singing along to the music, and doing a terrible job.

Kagome and Sango were still nursing their first bottle, so they were still sober enough to offer the boys more drinks when they drained their bottles.

Miroku noticed that the room began to swim before his eyes and closed them, still dancing with the girls, who, amazingly, did nothing to ward off his wandering hands.

Inuyasha was starting to feel really damn good, and wanted to take Kagome out back and suck her face off, while Sesshoumaru was getting antsy; why were those pink things following him?

Finally, turning down the music, Sango suggested a game of strip poker. All the boys eagerly agreed, and they all sat in a circle, with Kagome dealing the cards.

After an hour, all the boys had passed out, in various stages of dress:

Miroku wore nothing but his underwear;

Sesshoumaru twitched with only a sock preserving his modesty;

And Inuyasha still wore his rosary…but that was it!

Since the boys all passed out within minutes of each other, Kagome and Sango (who were both minus their pants, and one of Kagome's socks), broke out the coup de grace - permanent markers in various colours from Kagome's pencil case at home.

Each girl went to work, giggling and laughing the whole time. When they finished, they packed everything up that they'd brought, even the empty bottles, and took them back to Kagome's time, before getting back into their normal clothes and washing off all the makeup they'd put on.

When they got back, it was really dark, but quiet. Kagome snickered; Sango turned to face her. "What are you thinking, Higurashi? Spill it!"

Kagome grinned. "We have one more thing to do before we go to sleep tonight, my friend. They will rue the day they ever met us, I swear it!"