Disclaimer: Fushigi Yuugi not owned by me. Rats.

Warnings: Does the F-word make it automatically M-rated? If so, we're back to the M rating, but that's it for this chapter.

---

Outsider

Chapter 7

---

Ah. Why didn't I think about that sooner?

Keiji blinked as he slipped out of trance. He'd been meditating to give his mind a break from wrestling with the problem of getting himself, his friends, and Tasuki in the same place at the same time. Teleporting all the way to Tasuki's apartment from here was possible…but with four other people, it would drain him badly. He was willing to take the risk, especially with three of the others along to help keep Miaka safe. But…

It's these new psi powers of his. I still don't have any clear idea of what he's capable of. I can trust the others to handle any physical threat he poses, but…he did learn how to mask his aura. I'm still not sure he did it consciously, but if he's been trying to develop his abilities since I left him, he could be more dangerous than we'd expect. I don't want to leave them defenseless against that possibility. Ryuen's got some ability, and so does Hiroshi, but Ryuen's not trained, and Hiroshi's talent is centered on healing.

So I'm really going to need to save some strength for this.

Unless we could bring him to us…

He unfolded himself slowly, following the line of thought. Miaka said that before she recognized Tasuki, she thought very strongly of Tamahome, and Tasuki jumped. That was before she thought he'd recovered his memories.

Even in this world, Miaka has a low-key connection with all of us. None of us sensed it when she was in danger, because that shrine acted partly as a shield, and kept her thought from escaping. I didn't sense it either; I sensed something wrong afterward, when Taka and the others were so upset. He snuffed out the incense, moving absently to the kitchen to put on a kettle of water for tea.

But Tasuki reacted, even before he had his memories.

So he's still got a connection with her…and it should work both ways. Through her, I can probably reach him. He narrowed his eyes, and then nodded slightly. Yes. I think that will work.

He sighed and looked out the window. Please, Tasuki…if you won't listen to me…listen to Miaka.

---

Over the next couple of days, with some wrangling back and forth on the phone, they made their plans. They would meet at Taka's, and take Keisuke's car. Ryuen would drive. "It fits four polite, and five friendly," Keisuke always said.

Keiji also asked everyone to be as prepared as they could for the confrontation. He'd need their resources as well as his own. "Get enough sleep," he told them, "and try not to worry too much."

"Easy for you to say," Miaka grumbled over the phone with him.

"Easier said than done," he agreed. "But I'm not saying not to think about Tasuki at all. Just try to keep your thoughts in a positive vein. Think about what you want to say to him when you see him again. Think about the good things you've missed about him. I'm going to be using everyone's energy to augment your link with him, but you're the focus, Miaka. All of this is going to be coming to him through you, so you especially need to be as positive as you can."

Keisuke also called to finalize the plans for the rear guard. He would stay at Taka's with Yui and Tetsuya, and help keep Shou company. "He's really upset," Keisuke told Keiji. "He's not showing it much, but I still wish there was some way he could come along."

"I know. He and Tasuki were close, and their relationship was one of the only good things Shou remembered when he first started getting his memories back. But I don't dare risk it. It's bad enough that we're taking Miaka."

"Mom would flip out if she knew, that's for sure," Keisuke agreed. "But Miaka grew up a lot while she was with you guys. She's old enough to make her own choices, even if they're not always the safe ones." He hesitated. "I am kind of surprised that Taka changed his mind," he said cautiously. "The way he acted right after the attack, I thought he'd be ready to lock her up and throw away the key until you got back. But he supported her—and he's not even going along. Do you think he'll change his mind again at the last minute?"

Keiji was silent for a few moments. "I…don't think so," he said slowly. "But I'm not one hundred percent sure. He did say himself that he didn't think he should go. I can't say he's wrong about that. He seems to have become sort of a bogeyman in Tasuki's mind—I don't want to spook him."

"Well, for that matter, how do you think Tasuki's going to react to seeing Miaka there?" Keisuke asked.

Keiji sighed. "I'm not sure about that either. That could spook him in an entirely different way. He said he didn't want to see her again."

"He said that?" Keisuke blurted, sounding appalled.

"I don't think he means it… well, I think he thinks he means it. Or at least he wanted me to think so. I think he's afraid to face her. Not that he'd admit it. He didn't say so, not outright. But he didn't really have to."

He had one more phone call that day. Hiroshi called to confirm that he'd be available that evening. "I'll bring a first aid kit and a few other things, just in case," he said. "Better to be prepared." He hesitated, and Keiji waited, sensing something more coming. "I don't know what else I'll be able to do," he said. "It's helped, hearing everyone else talk about him…but I'm afraid I still don't remember much about Tasuki myself. I wouldn't know what to say to him."

Keiji smiled. "Don't worry about it, Hiroshi. Think about it this way—we're not really dealing with the same Tasuki you would have known then. He's had part of another lifetime of experiences that don't have anything to do with the old Tasuki. You read people well, and you know how to listen. I think your intuition will help you as well as any of our memories; maybe more."

Sounding reassured, Hiroshi said goodnight and hung up. Keiji returned to his meditation corner, inhaling the lingering scent of incense as he sat down. Maybe that's the clue, he thought. Maybe the mistakes I've made in dealing with him are because I'm thinking of him too much in terms of his old self. I kept underestimating him, because he kept acting in ways I wasn't expecting.

Come to think of it, that's a problem with me, lately. I'd been acting on a preconceived idea of what Miaka was thinking and feeling, too. He smiled wryly and struck a match to light the incense cone. The smoke curled up gently beside the red jade phoenix on the shelf. No wonder I've been going in circles; I've been trying to figure out what to do based on how people behave in my own little world. You'd think Taiitsukun never taught me anything. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. Well, all that is just clutter now. Clear it out. The only way to really start over is to move on ahead.

---

"There." Taiten pointed to a spot on the map. "That's where that last fight took place." He glanced at the key, then back at the map and tapped a spot marked with an orange slash. "That's where we caught them snooping around the first time."

His boss leaned on the table, staring down at the map with a bored expression that didn't fool Taiten. "Getting pretty fucking confident, aren't they?" he muttered. He took the lit cigarette out of his mouth and tapped it into the ashtray. "Time to cut them down a notch, I think. We got anything going on tonight?"

Taiten glanced at the map key again and measured the distances from the hideout with his fingers. "Nothing that can't be postponed. Supposed to rain like hell, too. How many guys should we take?"

He didn't get an answer right away, and when he looked up, the boss was looking off into space again, a faint frown on his face. Something about it gave Taiten chills. Like he's listening to something I can't hear. That's the third time in what, about ten minutes? He cleared his throat, and the funny glazed-over look in his boss's eyes went away again. "Sorry. What?"

"How many?"

"Oh." The boss tapped his fingers on the map for a moment, and took the cigarette out of his mouth to smash it, barely half-finished, into the ashtray. "Six. They've advanced far enough. Let's see how much blood they're willing to pay for more territory." He straightened up. "I'll be down when it's time." He stuck his hands in his pockets and strode out of the room, turning down the hall toward his apartment.

Taiten watched his boss until he was out of sight. The talk is right. The walk is right. The gestures are right. He glanced at the cigarette in the ashtray. Mostly. He walked to the door, stepping quietly out into the hall. His boss started up the stairs, and Taiten watched. I've never seen him put out a cigarette that wasn't smoked right up to the filter. Such a small thing. It could mean nothing.

His boss stopped on the stairs, midway up. He half-turned, and looked directly at Taiten.

He smirked slowly, and Taiten's skin crawled. He heard, whispered a tiny, terrible voice in the back of his mind.

Then his boss turned and walked up the stairs, disappearing into his apartment with an echoing bang from the door.

Taiten looked down at his hands and, incredibly, found them shaking. What the fuck was that all about? He turned and hurried back toward the main room, putting his hands in his pockets. His breathing steadied and his mind settled as he walked, and he resisted the impulse to turn and look back. Your mind's playing tricks on you. Stress. Too much fucking coffee.

But he couldn't stop the thought that crawled through his mind, all the same: I thought he was back to normal…but he's not. Not even close.

---

Miaka cast a worried look out the window. She didn't like the way it was clouding up out there. Not tonight! Why couldn't it wait a few days? Stupid rain. She looked down at her textbook and the English workbook lying open in front of her. I can't concentrate at all. But I need to get this done before we leave, and it's not going to do itself. She picked up her pencil again. Just a few more of these to find synonyms for. Wait… "synonym" does mean "the same", doesn't it? She checked, flipping a few pages. Good, I was right. "Antonym" is the opposite. She opened her thesaurus again, and glanced at the next word in the workbook.

Stupid vocabulary. Hmmm…next word, "nervous". That's easy, I've been nervous for the past three days. She flipped through the thesaurus. Anxious. Uneasy. Troubled. No kidding. She wrote the words down carefully, making sure of the spelling; she was improving, but her workbook pages from earlier in the semester were like a massacre with all the red marks for spelling mistakes. She'd have been failing English without Yui's help. That's three, need one more. "Apprehensive." That sounds good. A-p-p-r-h…e…wait a minute…darn it!

"Miaka!"

She jumped, dropping her pencil again, and then got up and went to her bedroom door. "Yeah, Keisuke?"

"Dinner's going to be ready in about fifteen minutes," he called back from down the hall. He poked his head into the hall from the kitchen, then stepped halfway out. "Do you think you're going to want to eat?"

Miaka chuckled. "Keisuke, when do I ever not want to eat?"

He snorted. "I should've remembered that your mood doesn't affect your appetite. Are you still doing your homework?"

"Almost done. I'll finish it by the time we have to go."

Keisuke nodded. He watched her for a moment. Then he came down the hall toward her and laid a hand on top of her head; she blinked. "I just wanted to say I'm kind of proud of you, for pushing so hard for Tasuki," he said quietly. "You haven't let up about it even when some of the others were ready to quit. If he doesn't decide to come back, I'm tempted to go out there and let him know myself what kind of a friend he'd be passing up."

Surprised, Miaka smiled. "Thanks, big brother." She hugged him. "Uh…maybe you'd better go check on the chicken, though…" she added with a sniff.

"Oh, crap!" He ran back down the hall.

Giggling quietly, Miaka headed back into her room. Keisuke's comment had left a happy glow in her heart that pushed out some of her unease. She sat back down at her desk and looked at the next word on her list.

"Pariah"? What the heck? She picked up her English-Japanese dictionary and flipped through it. Oh…yosomono. She picked up the thesaurus again, paging through. Outcast, she wrote down. Stranger. Outlaw. She chewed on the end of her pencil, looking down at the carefully written letters. He was an outlaw in his own world, but he didn't run from us like this. What do I say to him so he doesn't run anymore?

She was mostly lost in thought as she glanced into her thesaurus and jotted down one last synonym.

---

They ended up being last to arrive at Taka's. "I'm sorry!" she apologized hastily to everyone as they came in. It was half past eight, already half an hour later than they'd meant to leave.

"She spaced out doing her homework," Keisuke explained dryly. "I had to help her." They'd had to eat in a hurry—not that that was difficult for Miaka.

"Oh, Miaka," Yui groaned. "Why didn't you just call me? I could've helped you." Miaka hugged her best friend sheepishly.

"Well, are we ready to go?" Ryuen jumped up. "The rain's slowed down some, but there's supposed to be another front coming through before too long. I hope everybody's got umbrellas."

"I've got a few extra," Hiroshi said, reaching into his bag and taking out a few folded umbrellas.

"Dang, Mitsukake." Shou was peering into Mitsukake's briefcase, and he pulled out the first aid kit, yet another collapsible umbrella, a thermos of something, an extra rain poncho, and a medical book. "What didn't you come prepared for?"

"I won't be a great deal of help if anyone gets shot tonight," Hiroshi replied blandly. "I'd rather no one did." He reclaimed his briefcase from Shou and repacked it.

They trooped out to Keisuke's car all together. The rain had dwindled to a light mist. "If Tasuki decides to come back, he may not be able to leave right away," Keiji said. "We don't have room for him in the car, so I'll stay with him and help him until he can come with me."

"You will remember to let us know, won't you?" Karuko said dryly. "Not that I mind guests, but being able to prepare for them is so helpful…"

Keiji chuckled. "There's room for him at my place, though I can't guess ahead of time what he'll prefer, you know. I will call when I know what he's decided to do."

A silence fell, and Shou spoke into it, haltingly, as if he couldn't keep the words back. "What happens if he doesn't come back?"

Shou's eyes were fixed on Chichiri. Hiroshi laid a hand lightly on Shou's shoulder, but Shou shook it off.

Keiji sighed. "Then he doesn't," he said quietly. "And we leave him alone and respect his choice even if we don't agree with it." He glanced around at everyone. "There's a difference between trying as hard as we can and doing everything we can do, and hurting someone who's already in pain. If he really wants to be left alone…then we don't have any other choice."

Shou turned and stalked back into the apartment building.

Hiroshi took a step to follow, but Yui touched his arm lightly. "I'll talk to him," she promised softly. Hiroshi nodded, took a deep breath, and got into the front passenger seat.

Miaka squeezed into the middle between Keiji and Karuko. She leaned over Karuko to look out the window at the forlorn-looking group standing on the sidewalk. "It'll be okay," she said fiercely, feeling an oddly protective pang. "Just keep thinking good things."

Taka moved forward past Tetsuya and Yui. "Be careful," he said, looking right into Miaka's eyes. "Bring him back, all right?"

Miaka's face broke into a smile as Ryuen started the car. She nodded. As they pulled away, she twisted around to watch through the back window; Taka merely stood on the step while Yui and Tetsuya waved, but he was the last to turn back toward the apartment. Then Ryuen turned a corner and the building slid out of sight.

Miaka settled back into place between her friends. I promise, she thought, and not to Taka. I promise I won't leave you out there alone.

---

Taiten's evening just wasn't getting any better at all.

His boss had appeared downstairs early, dressed to go. He'd snapped at his lagging soldiers precisely to form. He'd responded to their jokes, made a few of his own, and done an entirely too casual toss with his dagger, one of the more complicated ones, before they departed. He hadn't even looked at the blade as he snagged it out of the air and resheathed it. He'd been looking directly at Taiten.

Taiten got the message loud and clear. Keep your mouth shut.

Taiten had plenty of experience keeping his mouth shut. Even if he didn't, what would he tell the others? The boss isn't himself. Too vague. The boss is acting fucking creepy. No good. The boss acted fucking creepy before, especially when he was drunk. This is a new kind of creepy.

That distinction would be beyond the comprehension of most of the gang. His boss was good at picking guys who were easily intimidated, and Taiten would be the first to admit that his boss was a pro at intimidation. He's got good reason. He's fucking bright, and fought his way up from the bottom. So at the bottom of his own gang, he keeps the slow ones and the ones he can control.

The smart ones, the ones like me, he places high. Using our minds, and keeping us close. Who was it that said to keep your friends close, but your enemies closer? Taiten glanced briefly over to the boss in the passenger seat. He was staring out the windshield, his posture relaxed, but he had that abstracted look again, which made Taiten feel unexpectedly frustrated. What the fuck is going on with him? Is he having some kind of slow breakdown? Goddamnit, if he's going to shut down I wish he'd do it all at once and get it the fuck over with. How long before he starts giving orders that aren't in anyone's best interest?

"Stop the car," the boss said.

Taiten jumped, and the van swerved a little; there were shouts of protest from the back. Trying not to swallow, he turned the van into the shoulder and stopped, and looked at his boss.

The gang leader frowned, but not at Taiten. "…Something the matter?" Taiten finally asked.

The boss opened the door. "I've got to take care of something. Go on ahead and go back when it's over. I'll meet you there." He climbed out.

Taiten stared at him. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? If he spaces out in the middle of a fight, he could get someone killed, but… "You sure you don't want to take anyone with you?" he ventured.

The boss turned around, and only long practice kept Taiten from recoiling from the glare on his face. "Go," he said icily.

All right, that's it, then. We do this, and if he doesn't come back…he doesn't come back. Fuck him, he asked for it. "Yes, sir," he said very softly, putting the van back into gear. As he drove off, he glanced in the rear view mirror. The boss turned away, and walked off into the haze of the thickening rain.

---

Miaka looked around the little park.

It's really depressing, she thought. There was something strange about it, with the slight wind moving the empty swings and the partly-disassembled merry-go-round. The sandbox was full of sludge, rungs were missing from the slides, and there were so many cracks in the paved area that the weeds mostly obscured the hopscotch and foursquare fields.

She glanced at the bench. She wandered toward it, away from the others, who were in a huddle under their umbrellas. She laid a hand lightly along the back of the bench, looking down at it, and then around. Maybe it was her imagination, but she thought maybe she did feel a trace of Tasuki here.

He stood right there, maybe, and put me down. Why here, I wonder? Well, there's the police patrol. Keisuke said they told him a cruiser comes by here pretty often. Checking for drug dealers, I guess. She smiled wryly. I hope they don't come by while we're here, and arrest us for looking suspicious!

She looked around at the dilapidated equipment again. Closed her eyes. Maybe…he has some connection with this place. Something about it that's important to him…

"Miaka?"

She looked up. Ryuen was beckoning to her. She walked back toward the group.

"Okay… let's get started," Keiji said. "I'll try and help you all I can, Miaka. Focus hard on Tasuki. I don't know if you'll actually get in contact with him, but if you do, focus on this place. We'll all be backing you up." Keiji looked around. "This could take a little while." He headed to the bench, and threw Hiroshi's extra poncho over it. Miaka sat down, and shared an umbrella with Ryuen. The drizzle was thickening to actual rain again, and the wind was picking up in a way that promised harder rain to come.

Karuko sat down on the other side of her, and Hiroshi stood behind the bench. Keiji moved off a little ways, forgoing an umbrella. "Whenever you're ready, Miaka."

"All right." She closed her eyes again. Her forehead creased slowly into a frown, and gingerly she brought forward the memory of her kidnapping. The apartment. The hard slap to her face—she shook her head a little, shuddering, and felt Ryuen's hand lightly on her shoulder, calming. Go on. Further. She saw him standing with his back to her, shaking. Just in shock, or overcome by horror by what he'd done? She wasn't sure.

The expression on his face when he looked at me… It was like he thought he'd never be forgiven, but wanted it so much. Tasuki, please…give us a chance to help…

She could feel the others around her, vaguely, bolstering her. Encouraged, she squeezed Ryuen's hand, and pictured the playground around her as vividly as she could. We're waiting.

She wasn't sure how long she sat there, as focused as she could remember ever being. But suddenly an image flooded her mind, strongly enough to disrupt her thoughts. She saw herself, lying on the bench, face composed in deep sleep; a little weary, but calm and beautiful. A black-gloved hand touched her cheek lightly.

Then it was gone, leaving her concentration broken. She blinked her eyes open. Ryuen looked at her anxiously. "What's wrong?" he murmured.

Miaka looked to her left, toward where Keiji was standing. He stood stiffly with his back to them, staring toward the gate in the fence.

An indistinct figure was slowly detaching itself from the drab surroundings, approaching the rusty fence around the playground. Steady steps from heavy boots marked his progress until he reached the gate. He opened it with a strangely gentle swing that made the rust-caked hinges screech. Raindrops pattered on the shoulders of his leather jacket and dripped down his face from his soaked hair. He splashed in shallow puddles as he crossed the paved area, stopping in the middle.

He stood there, staring at Keiji. His face was mostly expressionless, lips set in a thin line. His dark eyes flicked to the figures on the bench, and then back to Keiji. He took his hands out of his pockets slowly.

"Tasuki," Keiji began; he stopped when Tasuki reached into his unzipped jacket and pulled out his knife. Tasuki twirled it in his hand, flipped it into the air, and caught it one-handed without ever taking his eyes from Keiji. He shifted his weight, and Miaka gulped. What's he doing? He's not going to fight Chichiri, is he?

"I told ya not to come back," Tasuki said in a low, cold voice. "You're not a very good listener, are ya?"

---

End Chapter 7

---