(Note: This is a continuation of the story Jedi Nites: Adventures of the Lite Side. If you haven't read that story, you might want to do it now, just so you're not confused.)

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars, Starbucks, Mickey Mouse, Lucky Charms, or evil, maniacal chickens that love to eat bald men carrying purple lightsabers. There, that should cover the first few chapters or so.

"Obi-Wan! Obi-Wan! Come on, wake up!"

Obi-Wan opened his eyes to find himself lying in the middle of Palpatine's office. Empty Starbucks cups and candy wrappers littered the floor. He put a hand to his aching head. "Ugh…What happened?"

"We had a party, remember?"

He looked at the speaker to see that it was…Elvis Presley? His mouth fell open. "Elvis? What the heck are you doing here?"
"Elvis? Man, Obi-Wan, you had more lattes than I thought."
He rubbed his eyes. His vision cleared and revealed the speaker as none other than…Wade the Battle Droid. Obi-Wan jumped to his feet. "Wade the Battle Droid!"

"Duh. Who'd you think it'd be, Mickey Mouse?"

"Maybe."

Wade sighed. "I can't believe I came all the way here for this."

Obi-Wan dropped into a kung fu stance. "Tell me your business, Wade, or I shall be forced to unleash the forceful wrath of the Force."

"Yeah, that was original. Listen, while you guys were partying with those Ewoks, General Grievous and Darth Sidious slipped out."

"What! How do you know this!"

"Because I was there." He held up a group photo. "See? I right there, behind that Ewok."

"Which Ewok?"

"The furry one."

Obi-Wan nodded. "Yep, that narrows it down."

"Anyway…" Wade stored the picture in his…uh…place where he stores things. "Shaak Ti, Adi, Yoda, and Mace all went back to the Council chamber to discuss what to do about Sidious. They left me here so I could wake you up."

"Why would they entrust such an important task to a worthless OC like you?"

"That hurts, Obi-Wan. That hurts real bad. But it's beside the point. I've just been contacted by Sidious. He plans to find Anakin and use him to rule the galaxy!"

Obi-Wan furrowed his brow. "Didn't Anakin die in the last story?"
"No, he just fell a couple thousand miles, hit the bottom, had his intestines spill out, and was smashed into oblivion, but besides that, he's fine."

"You're pulling my leg."

Wade removed his hand from Obi-Wan's boot. "Sorry. But I'm really just kidding. Anakin landed on a mattress."

"What the heck would a mattress be doing down at Coruscant's ground level?"

"Random mattress salesman."

"I'm betting the mattress was pink."
"Duh. It's Anakin we're talking about."

Obi-Wan drew his lightsaber. "Then we'll go and rescue him. I promised Barris Soffee I'd look after him."

"Barris Soffee?"

"Yeah. Barris Soffee."

"It's Barris Offee, you idiot."

"Really?" Obi-Wan furrowed his brow. "Odd. Ah well. I guess this explains why whenever I call her Soffee she starts attacking me screaming at the top of her lungs."

"Sweet." Wade waved his hand towards the door. "Come on, we need to leave. Darth Sidious and General Grievous could be on their way to get Anakin as we speak."

Obi-Wan nodded. "You're right. They're probably in their shuttle right now, doing something sinister! Something evil! Something…unknown."

In Darth Sidious' secret lair…

"Got any threes?"

General Grievous shook his head. "Nope. Go fish."

Sidious threw his cards down. "This is pointless. Maul, have you finished fixing that shuttle yet?"

Maul peeked in the room. "No, it's kind of hard to fix something when you don't have your legs."

"Didn't Grievous glue those back on?"

"Yeah, but they fell off again."

"Fish and chips." Sidious turned to the Droid General. "Grievous, can you please help Maul so we can get to Anakin?"

"Fine." He stomped away. "I'll remember this, though!"

"Remember what?"

"Good question."

Sidious sighed. "The greatest Star Wars villains reduced to nothing but idiots. I wonder how the Jedi are doing."

At the Jedi Council Chamber…

Yoda shook his walking stick at the Mister Frodo (a.k.a. the author). "Go away! Ready, we are not!"

Mister Frodo rolled his eyes. "Give me a break…"

"Shoo! Shoo!" Yoda started whacking the author with his staff. "Go! Go!"

"OW! Fine, I'll go." Mister Frodo left through the door, but not before yelling over his shoulder, "I'm going to make you stupid in the second chapter, Yoda!"

Well, that didn't go well. Um…let's see…who can I cut to? Obi-Wan and Wade? Nah. Oh, I know. Here's the first appearance of the newest original character…

Clyde loved chocolate.

He carried a couple dozen Hershey's bars everywhere he went, usually stuffed inside his green jacket's pockets. A box of chocolate cereal rested in his backpack alongside a quart of chocolate milk for emergency breakfasts. And, always, always, he had a few chocolate kisses stuffed inside his shoes, just to be safe. Yep, Clyde loved chocolate. But not as much as he loved painting.

That's what led Clyde to the Jedi Temple that day. Famed artist Jacques Fu had set up a class at the sacred Jedi home, and Clyde, after paying a fifty dollar supply fee and eating several bowls of Super Chocolate-Coated Chocolately Cereal, arrived for the first ever non-Jedi oriented class taught at the Temple.

He entered the place and surveyed the massive hall. "Wow, this place is big."

Then he remembered that he had forgotten the location of his class!

"Oh no! I just remembered I've forgotten the location of my class!"

Duh. I just said that.

"Oh, right. Sorry."

So Clyde decided to go find someone that would help him. He first tried the Little Jedi Instruction Classes. The cute little children seemed friendly enough, but once their master left the room to run some errands, the kids' happy smiles turned into menacing snarls. Clyde escaped, but not before the children landed several blows with their training sabers. Then he tried the Flower room, only to find Yoda, Mace, and Yaddle eating the plants like an animal. After two disturbing experiences, he reached the Jedi Library.

Upon entering its doors, the librarian, Jocasta Nu, confronted him with a pasted-on smile. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm lost. I have this art class with Jacques Fu. I don't know where it is."

Jocasta nodded. "Then we'll look it up."

They headed over to the computer. Jocasta typed in some weird code that made absolutely no sense to Clyde or Jocasta for that matter. She turned to Clyde and shook her head. "I'm sorry, but your class does not appear on Archive records."

"Impossible. Perhaps the Archives are incomplete."

Jocasta's pasted-on smile became darker. "If something does not appear on record, than it does not exist."

"But the class—"

"IT DOES NOT EXIST!"

The librarian strode away. Clyde bowed his head. "Great. Now what am I going to do?"

What will happen? Will Obi-Wan and Wade find Anakin? Will the bad guys get their shuttle running? And will Clyde choose vanilla ice cream over chocolate? Find out next time on Jedi Nites

Special Notes:

The final section about Clyde might have seemed weird and different from the rest of the chapter. It was kind of based off Princess of Ithilien's story about what Jedi Masters do in their free time. But beside that, I have a special notice to all readers.

In the last story, Mace was cool in the first chapter but then fell into the disarray of stupidity. Since Mace hasn't really been in the story yet, I'm going to let you decide: Do you want Mace stupid, or smart? You can vote through reviewing. Whichever one gets more votes, I'll use, so vote! And review!