Title: Things Lost Along the Way

Author: 3rokenS0ul

Summery: The story of Jack and the Mercers.. It starts when Jack meets the Mercers and continues on through and after the movie, though Jack does not die. Not here anyway.

Warnings: There will be many. This story deals with mature subjects such as abuse (physical and sexual), drugs, violence, mental disturbance and sex between to men in later chapters.

Authors note: I love Jack's character and have read MANY fantastic stories about him and the Mercers. So I was inspired by all the lovely writers and readers out there! I love this fandom; I only wish it were bigger. Well I have been wanting to write this for some time now. I had started it a long while ago, but never finished. It was rewritten a bit and extended so sorry if it seems familiar to anyone. This story will be rather long, but is a WIP. I have read books about abuse and will be using information and ideas from the following. . A Child Called IT, A Rock and a Hard Place, Murphy's Boy and Wayne. I will also follow the characters in the movie as best I can; I feel they were good as is. Well enough rambling, I really do hope you all enjoy. Thank you!

Chapter 1 - It's all understood

Three days

The walls were grey and the old bunk bed he laid on shook so much Jack thought it would collapse on him one night. Outside the foggy window the leaves were dancing in the wind, flying off the branches and spiraling downward. Similar to his life, a constant downward spiral. It was cold and clouds littered the sky making it look as grey and dull as the room he was in. This place wasn't as bad as some others, it was a nice family at least. They had a few kids, some were really theirs and some like him. He didn't know any of them well though, he pretty much kept to himself.

This place wasn't going to last much longer and he never had a problem with not getting too attatched. Jack had a weird feeling these people didn't even like him, he knew they had gotten stuck with him. Soon enough they would be rid of him. He had heard the conversation earlier and knew his presence was unwanted. "They could not handle him because he was just too far gone." Whatever the fuck that meant, Jack had heard it before this though so he wasn't all that surprised. He just wished he knew what he was doing wrong. 'What's so bad about me?'

Three days, to go then who knows what. He hated that, never knowing where he was going to end up next. He hoped it wouldn't be another bad place, he's had his fair share of those and he was damn tired of it. He was tired of everything. He was done with thinking, it only lead to ugly and scary places. So much to think about and get sad over, yet no matter how hard he tried to forget it his mind would never allow it. Millions of emotions rush around inside him all the time he thinks one day he's just going to burst. Jack imagines a big explosion with guts and blood everywhere. It was either bottle it all up or tell some therapist. That was just out of the question, no one would understand. .

As thrilling as staring out the window and dwelling on his miserable existence was, Jackie was a busy boy and he had places to be and people to meet. A quick trip to his temporary dealer, in his temporary town and his temporary life supplied him with just what he needed to get by for a bit. He felt like needed to get high to forget it all for a little while. It seemed to be the only way to escape.

Hours later, darkness surrounded the neighborhood and all the lights were out. Nothing was open in the suburban town at this time of night, so Jack just headed back to his area. His high was starting to wear off and all he wanted to do was sleep. He was a long way from the rickety bunk bed though and he couldn't make it to the place his friend was crashing. He laid down on a bench, his head pounded and a buzzing noise filled his ears. Every body part ached and he was coming down hard. His eyes slowly began to drift closed and soon after he was passed out cold.

Two days

Cold wet rain and a sharp pain running down his side is what Jack awoke to. It was pouring now and he was soaked to the bone in a matter of seconds. He gingerly patted his side and looked for any cuts or bruises but found nothing. He did see a big shard of wood sticking up from the bench though. 'Lovely.' Jack stood up slowly and walked even slower down the street. Cars whizzed by as it got later, well earlier. Morning traffic was the worst and the rain wasn't helping any.

After being splashed, having to walk through road rivers and almost being ran over, Jack finally made it back. Too bad the foster family wasn't happy to see him, for once he was actually glad to be here. He had not expected to be yelled at and he really didn't see the slap coming. Not that it hurt, but the lady had never even raised her voice to him before and now here she was smacking him. Though people tended to hide their evils, it all came out in time though. It scared him, he didn't know if there was more to come. He just stood their shaking in his drenched clothed and waited for the worst to happen. People were unpredictable, that's one thing Jack learned the hard way. He learned a lot of things the hard way. After a pause she just told him to get dressed for bed.

"Y- yes ma'am. Sorry." He whispered as he ran off to the room he shared with his foster brother.

He quickly changed out of his sopping clothes and took a hot, but fast shower. Jack let his tears flow there, where they were quickly washed away and unseen. His back hurt and he felt like he was one step away from death. Jack needed more sleep, a lot more. He laid down and fell asleep the moment his head touched the pillow.

When Jack woke for the second time it was late afternoon. He hesitated for a while, afraid to leave his room. He was afraid they were still mad and he sure as hell didn't want to see them if they were. Now it was just a matter of waiting. Two more days to be precise.. He slowly crept down the stairs quietly, checking if anyone was home.

"Hello Jack."

Jack jumped nearly a foot in the air and whirled around, only to find Mrs. Harvey with an apologetic smile.

"Before you say anything let me just apologize for earlier, I lost my temper and I didn't mean to hit you. You just do such stupid things sometimes and I don't know what to do. I should not have done that though"

Shaking her head as she heard the anger slip back into her voice. She was losing her patience with this boy, he was just too much for her. She felt sorry for him though because it wasn't ALL his fault. He was out of control and her family was not prepared.

"Yes, ma'am. I know. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you." Staring at the floor the words came out automatically in a whispered, monotone voice.

"Alright Jack, I hope there are no hard feelings between us. I want you to look back on this time and say you liked it here. I hope I didn't change your feelings about your stay here."

He just shook his head silently. 'Still a hundred times better than most of the shit holes I've been too.'

There was an awkward hug afterwards and she felt odd holding his frail bony body against hers. The way he tightened up and shook with fear made her stomach turn. This is when she realized this was the first time she ever touched him with affection, or hugged him. She felt it would show she was being genuine, but all he saw was disgust. She moved away quickly and he wrapped his own arms around himself. He nodded with a tight lipped frown across his face. His eyes refused to meet hers and he took a few steps to distance himself. She just sighed and turned away, giving up once again.

Last day

Music flowed through his ears, the steady drum beat and blaring guitars soothed his mind. He listened to the lyrics and closed his red eyes. The smell of burning in scents and marijuana filling his nose were both pleasant and relaxing. This was bliss, no one to bother him. He felt free.

Jack passed the joint to his friend Tracy, she was a misfit and she lived on the streets and in bus stations. She was staying with some guy she met on one of her many bus rides, Fred was his name, he was crazy. She had lots of problems with her past and did lots of drugs to forget them all, just like Jack. They were a pair alright, they got along perfectly. Tracy was Jack's temporary best friend and the only thing he would miss about the damn place. He had been there three months and in that time he made the only real friend he ever had.

"Jackie, snap out of it I see dem' wheels workin' in that brain o' yours." She poked his temple.

"I'm just going to miss you Trace." He whispered sadly.

"I'll miss ya' too sweetie, but shit happens. You know that. I'm not stayin' here too much longer anyway, Fred ain't got nothing to keep a girl like me in one place. Who knows Jackie maybe we'll run into each other one day. Look for me anytime ya' ride the bus"

"Yeah right." Jack took the joint from Tracy with a short laugh and finished it off before tossing it into the ashtray.

"Come on like I said shit happens!"

Jack nodded and gave her small smile. 'Lot's of shit, never nothing good.'

"Yeah it does. It sucks though Tracy."

She watched him for a moment then stood up and turned off the radio. "Hey let's get outta' here, Fred's goin' to be home soon."

They walked away from the house down a little path in some woods near by. They moved along for a while until they spotted a good enough log lying around and sat. Jack picked up a stick and poked the dried up leaves on the floor. They weren't as pretty as the colorful ones that still clung to the tree branches. Nothing was as pretty as his friend Tracy. Jack felt sad. He stared at the fiery colored leaves on the tree for a while and listened to the noises of nature. The orange leaves almost matched Tracy's hair.

'I'm really going to miss her.'

Suddenly Tracy leaned over and kissed him out of no where. She was very soft at first then started nibbling his lip gently. It wasn't the first time she had done something like this. They had had sex plenty of times. She was usually high out of her head though and one joint wasn't going to phase a girl like her. It was a surprise to Jack, but for once a nice one. She smiled at him.

"Your sweet Jack, you even taste sweet. You're a good kid, you deserve a lot better then what you got in life."

He couldn't say anything to that, so he didn't respond he just kissed her again. Hard and deep, making sure she would never forget it. Never forget him.

'Please don't forget me Trace.'

When they parted she stared into his sad blue eyes and smiled brightly and nodded to his silent question.

They made love that day, they didn't fuck. It was right there out in the open for the world to see. They had shared a moment that neither will ever forget or ever want to. Jack and Tracy laid there together afterwards for a long time just talking and smoking. Their bond was stronger, but soon to be broken by distance and separation. It was hard to say good bye, but he did what he had to. It wasn't the hardest thing he'd done, that's for sure. It was probably one of the most painful though, even if Jack would never admit it.

When Jack got back he was filthy, tired and upset. He ate dinner with the family answering questions mechanically when asked. He ran upstairs and showered after dinner and just laid in his bed for a long time. It was his last night in this place, his life was about to shift completely in a few days. He felt sick and afraid and way too old for his thirteen years.

Packing his bags was easy, this was something he was used to. He folded his meager items of clothing, the few things he had remained to hold onto through the years. It wasn't much, but it was all his. He stuffed two worn notebooks into the bag and the rest of his things after that. He was all done now all he had to do was try and get some sleep, he had to get up bright and early.

Today is a new day

Mr. Johnson was there at eight in the morning sharp, paperwork was passed and signed and then they all said there last good byes. It was fast and done. Now he was gone. Mr. Johnson asked him how things had been and he told him they had been fine. The rest of the car ride was mostly silent until they stopped at a diner.

"I don't know if you ate or not, but are you hungry?"

"Not really." Jake spoke softly. "Shit I don't know, I'm going to take a piss."

Mr. Johnson was used to the boys quiet moods and his foul mouth when he did speak.

"Ok, I'll get a table and meet you there."

Jack hurried off to the restroom and did his business but actually stopped in front of the mirror on the way out for once. Something he avoided doing for a long time. He looked at himself for a while, he noticed the dark circles and the pale skin stretched over a small thin body. He was a fucking mess, he looked sickly and it made him feel ill.

He found Johnson at a table near the back and sat down across from him. He sat there and tapped his fingers on the table and staring out the window avoiding conversation and eye contact. Mr. Johnson coughed and took a sip of water.

"Are you sure you don't want anything?"

"Yeah. . . Um, actually no. I guess" Jack mumbled.

"food. Yes, no?" He made a thumbs up and a thumb down for each one and smile at the boy.

Jack put his middle finger up and grinned.

"I just want orange juice and toast."

"No problem." Johnson laughed at his antics.

The waitress came over and took their orders and they resumed there casual chatter about nothing. Then Johnson started talking houses, homes, adoption and all the things he didn't want to hear about. It wouldn't happen, he'd always be in the system then on the streets or in jail. Hopefully though he would just end up dead. No one would ever want some one like him.

By the time the food got there he felt sick all over again, but he picked at it anyway. Bill paid, tip left and off they were. Johnson let Jack fiddle with the radio for the rest of the drive. He figured it was better than the kid just sitting there zoning out.

Once they got to 'the nest' as Jack called it time slowed down and everything got dull and miserable. Kids crying in the halls and people fighting, the secretaries were typing and dialing like robots. People were running in all different directions. Voices, so many voices. It reminded him of another time in this place.

Jack was a mere seven years old and had just been brought in for the first time. His social worker Mr. Johnson was heartbroken and tried his hardest to comfort the distraught little boy as he pointed out the placed he'd been touched on the small doll. He had been abused sexually, tortured and malnourished. He could barely speak and couldn't read a word, but they kept asking him questions and trying to make him read cards. Test after test and at least four doctors and therapists and he was still just an abused, scared little boy. It was exhausting and he hated being touched so much. Johnson could tell by the way he cringed and flinched every time someone went near him. Even if they were not hurting him like his father, it still bothered him.

His body was covered in strange wounds and scars, some still fresh. His frail little arms wrapped tightly around a bony rib cage and his blue eyes were surrounded with blackened bruised skin. It was all written down in his file, so much written in his file. All the things he went through, all the visits to the hospital for countless injuries were written down in there. All of it on paper for the world to read. His weakness and shame, the dirty things he'd done and been forced to do advertised in black and white.

It had gotten a lot thicker over the years, now he felt like he had been through it all at least once. He had been to more hospitals, doctors and psychologists than he could even remember. Whether self inflicted or forced upon him, he was a victim. A victim of life and it's harshness. He was sick of it and he wanted it to be over.

'too bad your too pussy to kill yourself'

Mr. Johnson came back and asked him to follow him. He was taken to a small room and was told to sit there and wait until they decided what to do with him. He was given water and a snack, but he didn't touch either. He drew little patterns on the table with his finger and drifted off into his mind instead. Singing softly to himself as he awaited his fate.

About an hour later he came back carrying Jack's folder and another, wearing a smile.

"Well there Jack I have some good news. There is hope for you yet, a lovely lady by the name of Evelyn Mercer has agreed to take you in for a while. She's very nice and has three other boys, one of them is from this facility I believe. I really think you will like this place."

"You always say that." Jack stated sadly.

"Well Jack. . Just try ok? She's really great, plus she's the only one who offered to take you on such short notice."

"How old are the kids?" Jack played with the strings on his sweater and gave him a cold look.

Johnson took out another file and opened it up. Reading and nodding every now and then.

"The oldest is Robert, or Bobby. He is twenty three. Jeremiah is eighteen and Angel is sixteen. They live in Detroit in a nice house. There is a decent school near by, you'd be going there eventually."

Jack didn't look excited, or even pleased.

"We are leaving in a few hours so I want you to go find a bed and make yourself comfortable. I have a lot of work to do, I'll come see you in a little bit."

Jack sighed, but got up and carried his bag into the sleeping quarters. They were crowded, but he found a free bed pretty easily. He took out his walkman and pressed play. Today was the day. Today he'd go away. Off to another place. Evelyn Mercer. He hoped she wasn't a bitch.

The snow crunched under the tires as the car pulled into the driveway. The wind was whipping loudly causing the automobile to shift under pressure. Jack sighed as Mr. Johnson shut the engine and turned to face the boy. He didn't want to be here, he didn't want to meet these people. He especially did not want to stay with them, but Jack knew he never got what he wanted.

"Ok, Jack listen to me. This is important stuff."

Once he knew he had the boy's full attention he continued. "Evelyn is a great woman and she will take real good care of you. She has helped a lot of children find permanent homes and well maybe she can do the same for you."

Still no response from a silent Jack, though now he looked agitated. He was wringing his hands together and nibbling his lower lip. Johnson tried to comfort him a bit.

"She's a nice lady. Nothing bad will happen here and if it does, just call me. I told her about your case and she's had a lot of experience, so you don't have to explain yourself if you don't want. She's very understanding." Mr. Johnson felt bad for Jack, he'd been through a lot. The last couple of foster homes he'd been staying in weren't exactly the best environment for him either. He needed special attention and a little love. "This is going to be a good change for you."

"sure." Jack spoke quietly to himself as he fiddled with the strings on his hoodie. He wanted to believe the things the man said, but he was a fool. He thought he knew what people were capable of, but it was different to see it than to live it.

It was cold outside and Johnson was three steps ahead of him. 'Probably eager to get rid of me.' Jack thought bitterly as they approached the front door.

"You know how this works Jack.. "

Jack nodded and looked down at his feet.

Mr. Johnson knocked on the door. Jack's heart picked up a beat and his palms began sweating badly. He shoved his shaking hands into his pockets as the door was pulled open. 'Don't let them see how scared you are, pussy.'

"Well hello there, come inside. Come inside." A curly haired old woman with a kind smile stood to the side to let them pass. Mr. Johnson nodded and made his way into the warm sweet smelling house. Jack hesitated for a few seconds before slowly taking a few small steps passed the doorway. He felt sick to his stomach. He could hardly breathe and they were just standing there making idle chit chat. He wanted to bolt, run far, far away. He knew he couldn't, he'd never survive on his own. He'd tried and failed.

"Jack, come here."

Jack didn't move, but he was snapped out of his train of thought. He glanced up momentarily to meet Evelyn's eyes, but quickly averted them. Instead staring down at his worn sneakers.

"This is Evelyn. Evelyn, this is Jack. He's a good boy."

"Welcome Jack, I hope you like it here."

She looked the young man over with a sad smile. He was thin, far too thin for his height. He looked about young, but he was very tall. He peeked up at her and his eyes gave him away. She had never seen more expressive eyes than on this boy, they were bright blue and filled with such intensity. In that flash of a second she knew just how vulnerable and scared he was, ready to flee.

CRASH

Jack nearly leaped out of his skin and let out a soft whimper. His panicked eyes darted around the house searching for the source of the noise.

"what was that?" He whispered heatedly while clutching the doorknob.

Evelyn sighed, but the reassuring smile never left her face. "Oh just Bobby making a mess out back, he just finishing up your new room so he must be putting the tools away.. He will be in any minute He never misses his dinner. Mr. Johnson, would you care to join us?"

"Oh I'd love to, but I'm afraid I have a lot of paperwork to fill out and a few more cases to get to before it's too late. I'll give you a call tomorrow afternoon to check up on Jack and see how things are going. Take care."

He made his way over to Jack who still hadn't moved too far from the front door. Kneeling down he spoke quietly. "Remember Jack, Evelyn is a nice woman and nothing bad is going to happen to you here. It'd not like the other places. It will be ok and if you feel something is wrong just call me, for anything at all. I gave you and Evelyn my number, in case you lose it or anything. Good luck, and be good. I'll talk to you tomorrow." He gave Jack an awkward pat on the back, knowing the child wasn't fond of physical affection. Evelyn escorted him out and they settled some things while giving Jack a minute to look around a bit.

Jack was all alone. He was alone, scared and now he felt lost. 'This is it. Now it's only a matter of time before they start hurting me.'

Lost in his own head, he didn't notice the newest occupant of the room. The man was pretty tall and he looked really strong. Jack was intimidated immediately. 'Oh God.'

"Oh Jack this is Bobby, my oldest."

Jack was a little relived to have to old lady back, but he still didn't feel comfortable. Far from it, he was petrified. He kept his head down and his mouth shut, avoiding looking at the older man all together.

"Uh, hi." Bobby stared at the kid for a moment, wondering what the hell was wrong with him. He stood there twitching and staring at the floor. He felt bad for him, he used to hate switching from foster home to foster home. The first day was always tough.

"Want me to show you your room and stuff?"

Jack nodded figuring agreeing was the safest thing to do. He followed Bobby slowly and quietly into a decent sized bedroom. It was painted slate blue and sparsely furnished. Jack had hardly had his own bed, let alone his very own room.

"Here we go." Bobby gestured around the room. "This is it, mine is next door. Angel and Jerry share, they are down the hall next to mom. The bathroom is right across the hall, we can't use ma's."

"This is all mine?" Jack was stunned, he got his own room and it even had a window.

Bobby frowned at the question and nodded. "That's what I said."

"wow" Jack whispered and walked around, running his fingertips over the various things in the room.

Bobby couldn't help but watch, the boy was fascinating. He took small, soft steps and reached out with a hesitant hand. His eyes were big and filled with amazement. It was better than the fear he had seen shining in them earlier.

That's when Bobby understood what was off with this kid. All of the children ma got were pretty hopeless, but this one was different. Most of the cases she got were hard to handle, outspoken, violent and had a lot of problems socially. They all had history of abuse, but this kid he wasn't like the rest. He was very quiet. He was too quiet, too twitchy and timid. It was like he was afraid. Bobby understood then. There was something about this boy, something very different.. Bobby understood.

"How old are you?"

'Oh shit was he talking to me? What did he say? Did he ask my age? Damn it why wasn't I listening. Now he's going to punish me. I'd deserve it. Oh God. Just tell him your age dumb ass, maybe that's what he asked. Hopefully. . '

Jack jumped and snapped his head toward Bobby, fear filled eyes stared as he stuttered out an answer. "uh, uh I am t- th. . . I'm Thirteen." His voice was so soft Bobby hardly hear what he said.

"You're young."

Jack just looked at him with those big blue eyes and Bobby sighed. Why did he ever let Evelyn convince him to come home? He knew she needed help, but this was too much. This kid was a head case and the way he acted unnerved Bobby a little. He didn't like the quiet and this kid was damn near silent.

"Uhh can I, I um. . Go to the b- bathroom?" Jack shuffled his feet and looked past Bobby as he asked.

"Um, yeah of course kid."

Jack nodded and walked toward the door and paused. "I'm not a kid." He said firm bust softly and hurried out of the room.

Bobby shook his head. He knew this one was going to be a challenge. He is sure Evelyn knew this kid was going to be a handful, that's why she had asked him to come back. She must have known he'd be way too much for her alone to handle by herself, but she could never refuse a needy child. Bobby knew he was needed. Both by his mother and Jack. He owed Evelyn a lot. He understood. It was all understood, except for Jack. He was a mystery to Bobby Mercer.

TBC

Ok so this chapter not much happened I know, sorry for that. I just kind of wanted to get Jack into the Mercer home before I got too distracted haha, please let me know what you think so far. Any suggestions, ideas or wishes? Please feel free to let me know!!