Prologue
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. Boohoo...
I wanted to wait a little longer to post this, but then I got scared that someone else might take this idea and do it better, so I'm posting now anyway :P
Don't know how good this is. I've had a rather morbid fascination with this subject ever since I studied it in ninth grade. The subject matter may be kinda disturbing to some people though, so please read with caution. Thanks.
Hi. My name is Dick. Dick Grayson. I turned fifteen two months ago, in April. I've never really considered my life to be very extraordinary, except for my little nighttime escapades. Things were beginning to get almost normal, really. This time a couple of years ago I was at Disneyworld with a few friends, just like any other group of tourists. God, I had a great time. Going on rides, having fun…
Eating…
But not any more. I stopped doing all that last July.
Oh, I'd thought about it long before then, really. The Voices have been there for a long time, telling me not to eat, but I resisted them. I still felt good enough to ignore them.
But then things changed. I don't even know why they did, but now here I am, hunched over with a finger down my throat, watching my dinner floating in the toilet water below me.
I can remember being happy. Truly, I can. I can remember being happy with my parents when we were flying on the trapeze, performing for a different town every week. I can remember being happy here in the Manor and down in the Cave. I can even remember being happy out on the streets while slapping the cuffs on some crook.
But these pleasant memories are always quickly overshadowed by the depressing ones: my parents falling to their deaths. Being held hostage more times than I care to count. And more recently, the fights with Bruce, the Titans, and everyone else.
I just can't seem to do things right anymore.
My only friends are the Voices…
Yet sometimes, it seems as if they are the enemy, trying to destroy me…
No, that's not right. Trying to get me to destroy myself.
I want to eat. Sometimes I just sit in my room crying because I'm so hungry, wishing I could eat but knowing I can't. The Voices become worse than ever when I eat.
But tonight, I cracked—I ate dinner. Ate every bite, hoping that the Voices would go away if I just defied them, ignored what they said, showed them I didn't care what they thought.
But I failed.
Again.
As soon as I finished eating, I went up to my room, listening to the Voices in my head, criticizing me for eating, telling me how weak and pathetic I was… and then, the worst—I realized they were right. I could literally feel myself expanding… getting bigger and bigger… and the Voices screaming at me to get rid of it.
And I did.
I hate this. I truly hate this. So many nights I've lain awake, thinking of a way to end it all, to get away from the agony. Staring at the Bat-ropes and wondering if I could hang myself with one of them. Thinking how easy it would be to take one of Bruce's razors while he's out and slit my wrists with it. Indeed, I've stood there in his bathroom for hours on end, turning the shiny metal blades over and over in my hands, wondering… should I or shouldn't I?
Hi. My name is Dick Grayson… and I have an eating disorder.
Please don't kill me. (cowers) This idea has been bouncing around in my brain for months now and it finally overpowered me :P When reviewing, please keep in mind that I've never had an eating disorder, and I don't plan to. This is my IDEA of how someone with an ED would behave, based on what I have read, so it may not be accurate. If you have experience with EDs, your input will be appreciated.
This was a little preview for you, people. If enough people come forward and say they'd like me to finish and post the accompanying story, I will. And if I get flamed, that will just encourage me to post even more so I can torture you with my presence for another six months! XD That doesn't mean you should flame, of course... um...
I think I've blabbed enough. Please tell me whatcha think!