In Orochimaru's evil lair……
"Kabuto, I need money badly," A snake like man hissed angrily.
"But Orochimaru Samma you have so much money."
"That was true, until you spent it all an pudding cups!" Orochimaru's eyes flashed angrily at his grey haired apprentice."
"I'm sorry Orochimaru Samma the pudding cups haunted my dreams!" Kabuto cried holding his head. "Their voices saying "buy me, buy me!" Orochimaru sighed.
"Kabuto, I'd love to hear the tragic tale of how by-processed dairy products traumatized you, but right now my dilemma includes earning back the money you wasted." The sound ninja kneaded his forehead, thinking deeply. Suddenly, Orochimaru's thoughts were interrupted as thick slurping was heard echoing throughout the lair.
"For God's sake Kabuto! What in the name of corn are you doing?" Orochimaru yelled. Kabuto turned holding one of the cursed pudding cups. The chocolate dribbled down his chin and hands as he gurgled in response,
"Eating." Orochimaru growled deeply using what little patience he had left to keep himself from killing his servant right then and there.
"You know you are worse then a child…." The snake man's eyes widened with resolution. "Children," He repeated rubbing his chin. "Kabuto, you have just given me the most ingenious idea!"
"I did?" Kabuto slurped through his pudding.
"Yes, and for that you will be rewarded!"
"Is that another way of saying you'll start paying me, Lord Orochimaru?"
"No, but if this works you'll be up to your toes in these disgusting chocolate containers." Orochimaru lifted his arms in the classic evil madman pose, lightning flashed behind him, and he laughed wildly, "To the commercial!"
"Hello and welcome to Orochimaru's daycare center where we shower your children with knives- I mean love!" Orochimaru grinned sweetly into the camera.
"Here we offer the best care possible for the little tikes." Orochimaru bent down and patted a small tabby kitten before kicking it away. As the unfortunate animal flew of screen, a yowl was heard followed by the banging of trashcans. The camera turned upwards to watch a bird flying in the sky.
"God dammit Kabuto, hold the camera on me!" The camera zoomed hastily back to Orochimaru's face. The sound ninja walked to the right where four Akatsuki members were bound to each other wiggling wildly. "Our professional staff trained in the magical art of child care, will help your ankle biters become the most successful Shinobi."
"Especially the hot blonde one," Kabuto's voice said huskily. The camera zoomed in on the blonde, pony tailed member, who began screaming passed the duct tape covering his mouth. The muffled cries sounded something like, "Help me, I don't want to be raped by a nerd!"
"Kabuto, show some self control," Orochimaru scolded. "This is a family commercial. And you," Orochimaru said flicking the blonde ninja's forehead, I don't care how horny you make Kabuto, watch your language." Orochimaru stood up and fluffed his black hair, and straitened the large purple bow on his back. The other three members of Akatsuki consisting of Sasori, Kisame, and Itachi snickered at this. "In conclusion our basic hygiene," The camera zoomed to filthy toilets. "and love of all things free," The camera zoomed to a dead bird. "We are the best to offer your children quality care."