Chapter Three: Out for Blood
Disclaimer: JK owns all these wonderful characters: I just borrowed them for a bit.
For the first week or so, nothing much changed. Peter completed his detention with Filch, complaining that he had been made to do the work of a house-elf. Sirius disappeared each evening to Dumbledore's study for his punishment and returned, white-lipped and refusing to talk about it.
"Do you think he's been whipped?" Peter whispered to James.
James shook his head. He had seen Sirius give Remus looks of pure guilt and felt sure that Dumbledore's punishment was more to do with making Sirius face up to the results of his actions, probably for the first time in his life.
Snape and the Marauders continued to shoot each other baleful looks from afar but as that was nothing new, no one else took any notice. Remus had implored James and the others not to aggravate Snape and, sensitive to their friend's wishes, they had agreed.
As a result, confrontation was avoided and as an extra precaution, Sirius insisted that Remus be accompanied by James, Peter or himself anytime it was likely that he might encounter Snape on his own.
"I just don't trust him, Moony, and I don't want you hurt any more than you have been." A flicker of regret crossed Sirius's face and Remus knew he was continuing to blame himself.
It was ten days after the incident when the bodyguard system broke down. Remus and Peter had left Charms and were on their way to Arithmancy when Remus checked his books and frowned.
"I knew I'd forgotten something. Go on, Peter, I won't be a minute."
He retraced his steps to their last classroom and was halfway inside the empty room before he realised it was not actually empty after all. Someone was sitting at a desk, having arrived early for the next lesson. Remus realised who it was and froze.
Snape was bent over a piece of parchment, laboriously copying out notes from a textbook in his tiny, crabbed handwriting. He showed no sign that he had seen Remus's entrance and for a brief moment, Remus considered creeping over to collect his book and then creeping out again without disturbing him. Then he told himself he was being ridiculous. He would have to face Snape at some time.
He walked over and stood hesitantly in front of him. Snape did not look up.
"Severus…?" Remus's voice sounded quavery even to him. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Severus, I want to say how sorry I am about what happened. I know Sirius didn't think of the danger – well, he just didn't think…I can't even say I wouldn't have hurt you," he admitted, "and that's-that's…" He broke off as Snape seemed determined to ignore him.
As he moved to leave, Snape spoke.
"Do I take it that was some sort of apology?" he asked softly, his tone neutral, his eyes still on his work.
Remus swallowed and gave a nod. At least he was talking to him.
Snape turned a look of purest glittering venom on him. "Keep it. I don't want anything from you. Freak."
Remus flinched at the word, and six years of self-confidence built up at Hogwarts ebbed away in an instant. Suddenly, he was eight years old again, surrounded by a ring of hostile children who were taking it in turn to call him names. He had stood there white-faced in silence: only when the first stone was thrown had he thought to run.
Snape continued: "I don't know what Hogwarts is coming to. I thought it was bad enough that they let in Mudbloods like Evans but I never in my wildest dreams expected to attend school alongside vermin like you. You should have been put down ages ago."
Sharp pain iced its way through Remus's chest as he listened to the vitriol in the other boy's voice. It was one of his nightmares coming true. He realised he was digging his nails into his palms and made a conscious effort to unclench his fists. Still Snape did not stop.
Getting to his feet, he advanced on Remus who backed away until he reached a wall and could back no further.
"I only expected to read about you in a textbook," he spat. "I didn't expect to be living under the same roof as you."
From somewhere, Remus found his voice. "Please, Severus," he said, hating himself for the pleading way the words emerged, "we've got another two years together at Hogwarts. Can't we just-"
"Get along?" Snape's thin lips crooked into a semblance of a smile. "I don't think so."
He walked back to his desk and pulled out a piece of parchment.
"As far as I'm concerned, half-breed, you have only one use." He handed the parchment to Remus. "Read it. Aloud."
Remus looked down at the handwritten words. It appeared to be a potion recipe. He glanced back at Snape who simply said "I'm waiting."
"Two heads of hellebore," Remus began, unsure where this was heading, "four heads of foxglove…" He stopped as his eyes ran over the next words. He looked up at Snape in horror. He couldn't mean…surely he didn't expect…
"Be back here at six, " was all the other boy said. He took the parchment back again and turned to his desk as if he had just concluded a business transaction.
"No." Remus shook his head vehemently.
Snape gave a mock-sigh as if he had been expecting resistance. "If you don't I may be forced to tell-"
"You can't tell anyone!" Remus snapped, anger finally taking hold of him. "You've sworn to Dumbledore you wouldn't!"
"About you?" Snape gave a dismissive wave. "I'm talking about how to gain entrance into the Whomping Willow. I'm certain there'll be quite a few interested parties. I'll probably let something slip a week on Wednesday - that's the next full moon, isn't it?"
As colour drained from Remus's face, he continued. "After all, I'm hardly the first person they'll think of to blame, am I?"
Sirius! Remus made a small choking noise lost as the door was flung open and the rest of Snape's class entered.
"Yours, I believe." Snape presented him with his missing textbook. "Now run along, you're late for Arithmancy. I'll see you later."
Remus's fingers closed around the book and he left the room in a daze. He needed time to think. Without consciously choosing the route his feet followed, he found himself in front of the Fat Lady's portrait. "Persephone," he whispered and climbed up into the empty dormitory, still stunned.
He sat down heavily on his bed. He had warned the others that Snape was clever, that they should be careful around him, but they had not listened. And now…he exhaled slowly as he examined his options. For a start, he could not tell Sirius. In his current over-protective mood, anxious to make amends, he would probably crucify Snape. Peter would be sympathetic but absolutely no help. That left James. Remus turned it over in his mind, playing out the scene. However many times he went over it, he still ended up with Snape badly injured and James expelled.
He toyed with the idea of going to Dumbledore or McGonagall but just as quickly dismissed it. Apart from the fact that tale-telling was firmly marked as a Slytherin trait, he knew it would be Snape's word against his. He had no proof.
There was nothing for it. He would have to go through with it. He did not doubt for one moment that Snape would not make good on his promise otherwise. He closed his eyes. All he could hope for was that it was a one-off.
When Peter arrived back from class, he pleaded illness as a reason for his absence. "I'm feeling a bit better now, though" he lied. "I think I'll take a walk."
"I'll come with you." Peter made to put his books down. "You know what Sirius said."
"I'll be fine," Remus said hastily. "I won't go far, I just want to stretch my legs. I'll be back in ten minutes or so."
And with that he hurried out.
Snape was alone in the classroom, sat at the same desk Remus had found him at earlier in the day. He looked up as Remus entered and held out a hand.
Wordlessly, Remus handed over a small glass flask. Snape held it up to the light, apparently satisfied.
As Remus turned to leave, Snape spoke. "Fascinating, isn't it?"
Remus stared at him confused. Snape's gaze was still on the flask.
"What is?"
Snape gave him a thin-lipped smile. "It looks almost human."
Words failing him, Remus stumbled backwards out of the room and fled.
When Snape asked him again, he tried once more to refuse.
Snape spoke slowly as if to a small child. "If you don't, filth, I will tell Sirius and the others about what you've already given me. In fact, I'll show them. I have no doubt afterwards I'll be in a little pain but I will be comforted by the fact that Hogwarts will throw them out."
"No," Remus whispered.
"Just read this parchment. Aloud." was all Snape said.
Days and weeks passed. Remus became listless, withdrawn, monosyllabic. The change in his behaviour did not go unnoticed. Whenever James or Sirius or Peter tried to question him, he became defensive, snapping at their concern.
"He's getting worse," James said grimly as he and Sirius sat alone in the Gryffindor common room.
Sirius nodded agreement. "It was bad enough last full moon when he didn't want us around…although I kind of understood why…" Sirius had remained silent as James and Peter pressed Remus for reasons why the four Marauders could not ride out: punishment, he had decided, punishment for the reckless way he himself had endangered Remus at the last moon rising.
"Moony's behind in class, too," James confided. "I overheard McGonagall talking to Flitwick today about him. He's slipped to the bottom or near bottom in every subject."
Sirius frowned. Although Remus did not have the easy brilliance of James or himself who just had to look at a book to remember it, he was by far the most studious amongst them, soaking up knowledge for its own sake. As a result, he was always in the top handful of students.
"Do you think- somehow- Snape's got to him?" he asked reluctantly.
"If he has, I don't see how," James shot back. "He's either in class or he's here or he's with us. Let's wait till Peter's back and we'll get to the bottom of this."
The three of them found Remus lying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling.
"Hey, Moony," James began. "I've got a question for you."
Life flickered into Remus's face. He sat up and tried to look interested.
"What's the difference between you and someone carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders?"
"Nothing," Peter chipped in.
"We want to help," Sirius said gently, putting a hand on Remus's shoulder.
Remus pulled away. "I don't need help."
"Moony, what is wrong with you?" James asked. "Come on, you can tell us."
He covered his face with his hands and felt Peter tugging at his sleeve.
"Is- is it a werewolf thing, Moony?" Peter whispered.
He grabbed at the lifeline with both hands. "That's it. That's exactly it. It's a werewolf thing," he agreed. He proceeded to elaborate, spinning a story he hoped would satisfy his friends. "The wolf's just too strong at the moment. I'm sorry. It's taking all my strength to fight him."
"Does Madam Pomfrey know?" The question came from Sirius.
"She can't help. No one can," he emphasised the point. "This is something I have to work through for myself. And tonight, I need to transform alone. I'm sorry, maybe next month."
Remus stood up and left the room to make his way to the hospital wing.
Sirius's eyes met James's and he knew Prongs was thinking the same. It was plausible, it might even be true, but neither of them were remotely convinced.
"What can we do?" Sirius balled his hands into fists at the futility of it all.
"Watch him, Padfoot, watch him more closely than ever," James said with determination. "We're missing something we shouldn't be missing."
Remus rejoined them late the next day, pale and drained. Sirius did his best to try and decide whether he was worse than normal: if he were honest, he would not have thought Remus could have gotten any paler.
To James's eye, Remus was going through the motions, doing just enough in class to escape attention from the professors although in Transfiguration, he saw McGonagall looking at him with concern on more than one occasion.
The three of them took it in turn to mark Remus's footsteps. "Where is he now?" was the first question each asked another when they met. Throughout, the source of Remus's troubles remained an enigma.
It was Sirius who finally cracked it. He was sitting with James in the quad pretending to read a book on Charms but in fact flirting from a distance with a pretty Ravenclaw. James was stretched out in the sun, eyes closed, thinking about a pair of green eyes. He was awakened from his daydream by a punch in his side.
"What is it, Padfoot?"
"Where's Moony supposed to be?" There was quiet urgency in Sirius's voice.
"Herbology tutorial," James quoted from the timetable they had all memorised.
"I thought so. If he's supposed to be with Sprout, why is she escorting a group of first year Slytherins in the direction of the potting sheds?"
James sat upright. "Are you sure?" He followed Sirius's pointing finger.
Sirius got to his feet. "Whatever it is, it's happening right now!" he exclaimed. "We need to find him!"
They hared back into the main part of the school and ran into Peter.
"Moony!" Peter squeaked. "He's-I've seen-"
"Where is he?" James and Sirius asked in unison.
Peter pointed into the general crowd of students and there he was. He was walking, unsteady on his feet, down towards some lesser used classrooms. As they followed, Remus did not look round once. They saw him hesitate in front of a door then draw a deep, ragged breath before entering.
The other three paused in front of a window and peered in.
"Look…" James said softly.
"Snape! I knew it!" Sirius growled. He started towards the door but James pulled him back.
"We need to know what's going on!" He drew his wand, touched the window pane and said "Audiente!"
Suddenly they could hear every word with perfect clarity.
Remus was leaning somewhat shakily against a desk, an extremely pale imitation of his usual self.
Snape was on his feet and addressing him:
"I do hope you're not finding these little meetings too…freak-went," he stressed the first syllable and the three onlookers saw the reflexive flinch Remus made.
"I can't-, Severus, I can't-" Remus began.
"Tiring you out, is it? Funny, I'd have thought a wolf had more stamina." He produced a scrap of parchment. "Read it. Aloud."
Part of Remus wanted to rebel. In a detached manner, he recognised the ritual of reading the recipe out loud as a necessary component of Snape's humiliation of him; by complying, he was agreeing that he was less than a wizard, less than human, merely an ingredient. But he was tired, more tired than he had ever been or ever thought he could be and the easier option was to do what Snape wanted.
"A pinch of hemlock," he sighed. "A twist of nightshade. Two heads of lilac." He paused.
"Go on."
"Two cups of werewolf blood," Remus finished wearily.
Sirius, James and Peter stood thunderstruck.
"Of course!" James smacked himself on the forehead. "No wonder Moony's been looking so abysmal."
"Can we interrupt this little meeting now?" Sirius's voice was dangerously calm.
James caught him by the shoulders and saw the insane rage in his eyes. "Careful, Padfoot," he cautioned. "I'm angry too, so angry I could cheerfully kill Snape and face Azkaban with a clear conscience. But that's not going to help Moony."
Sirius's madness dissipated a little. A gasp from Peter made them both turn back to the window. Remus had his right sleeve rolled up, a knife in his left hand.
"Wormtail," James said urgently, "go and find Dumbledore now!"
Peter nodded and disappeared.
"Hurry up, half-breed," Snape snapped. "Unless you'd rather I did it…"
It was the shudder Remus gave at this remark that provided the cue for James and Sirius to burst into the room, wands drawn.
Snape got his fingertips to his wand but James bellowed "Expelliarmus!" and it flew harmlessly out of reach.
Remus leapt to his feet with more energy than either Sirius or James had seen from him in ages. He threw himself at Sirius, desperately trying to hold him back.
"Don't hex him, Sirius, please!" Remus begged.
Still intent on Snape, Sirius took hold of his friend intending to push him gently to one side but when Remus let out a yelp, he looked at him for the first time. Intuition seizing him, he pushed up both of Remus's sleeves. "James," he said softly. "Look at this."
Still covering Snape with his wand, James looked. Remus's arms were covered in marks from previous donations to Snape. James let out a low whistle. ""Why didn't you tell us, Moony? How long has this been going on?"
"Since January." Snape supplied the answer. "I thought it was about time the werewolf stopped pretending he was human and started being useful. I've been laying in stocks."
"Don't!" Remus could almost smell Sirius's rage building. "It's what he wants!" As Sirius fought to have a clear shot at Snape, Remus turned to James in despair. "Prongs, please!" The room started to whirl and Remus would have fallen to the ground had Sirius not caught him.
He heard James say: "You're a particularly nasty insect, Snape. Remus didn't even know what was happening that night. This isn't about revenge, it's about power. And it ends now." Then the remnants of his strength left him and he knew no more.
Eventually he started to swim in and out of consciousness. For some reason, he could not open his eyes, they just seemed too heavy, but his ears picked up stray pieces of conversation.
He recognised the voices - Dumbledore, Madam Pomfrey, Professor McGonagall. He must be in bed in the hospital wing.
"He told me those wounds were made by the wolf…"
"Don't blame yourself, Poppy," Dumbledore comforted her. "It was a credible reason."
"All that blood," McGonagall wondered aloud. "Whatever did he want with it, Albus?"
"A number of possibilities." He paused. "I cannot overlook the fact that the blood of a Dark Creature is used as a base for many Dark Magic potions…"
The voices faded away. The next thing Remus heard was:
"…murder. It could be construed thus…"
"Surely the boy couldn't have meant it, Headmaster?"
"He had provocation, Poppy, let's not forget that."
Murder…Snape was dead! Remus's brain seemed like it would burst. He tried to open his eyes, to make his mouth obey him but his jaw seemed locked tight and his eyelids nailed shut. Who had killed Snape? Sirius or James… His mind ran through a myriad of possibilities, none of them pleasant, before plunging him once more into nothingness and new nightmares.
The next thing he was aware of was bright sunshine beaming in through the window. He sat up, blinking and looked around him.
"Remus, you're back with us." Madam Pomfrey looked delighted. "How are you feeling?"
"OK…thirsty," he admitted.
She poured him a glass of water and plumped up his pillows. "You gave us quite a fright, Remus. No, don't try to get up just yet, you need to rest. And the Headmaster asked to be contacted the second you came round."
She disappeared into her office. Remus heard her say "Professor Dumbledore" and throw Summoning powder on to the fire.
The briefest of moments later, Dumbledore stepped out of the office and straight to Remus's bedside. Remus felt an overwhelming sense of security in the sight of the Headmaster perched on the end of his bed.
"You've been very ill, Remus," he began, "in fact, you've been lost in a fever for nearly three days. But Madam Pomfrey assures me that you will make a full recovery. What do you remember?"
Remember…? Sirius! James! "Who killed Snape?" he cried.
"Nobody," Dumbledore looked surprised then composed himself. "Severus is alive and well. Let me explain what happened. I arrived with Peter shortly after you collapsed in the classroom; Sirius was alone with you. He and Peter accompanied you here where Madam Pomfrey declared your condition serious and the two of them explained what had been going on. Why did you let Severus do this to you?"
"He…he said he would tell someone else about the Willow and that Sirius would get the blame." The words tumbled out in a rush no longer hampered by the effort of concealment.
"Ah," Dumbledore gave a nod as if he had suspected something along those lines.
"But, Professor, what happened to Sna- to Severus? Was he injured?"
"He was unharmed when James made him bring the blood he had collected from you to me. James and the others have left it to me to punish Severus. You should also know that I have absolutely forbidden him to discuss your condition or anything related to it with anyone. I promise you your secret will be safe."
Remus gave an inward sigh of relief then frowned.
"But I heard you talk about murder…"
"Your murder, Remus, " Dumbledore said quietly. "You've been suffering from a very specific type of blood poisoning. According to Madam Pomfrey, at some point during the last two weeks or so, you've been exposed to very faint traces of Wolfsbane and silver."
Wolfsbane and silver...he frowned. And then he remembered.
It had been a few days before the full moon.
For once, Snape had been late. He'd just made his mind up to leave when the door to the classroom was thrown open. "Going somewhere?" Snape snapped as he deposited his Advanced Potions books heavily on a desk. He'd sat down again, shaking his head. "Good." He didn't understand the anger in Snape's voice. It couldn't be because of him, could it? Something else must have happened... "Are you listening to me?" Snape's face was inches away from his own. In his eyes, there was vivid fury and hatred. With difficulty, he fought the urge to look away. "Yes," he answered. Snape produced the piece of parchment. "Read this. Aloud." Dull of heart, he did so. Then he stood up but Snape had barred his path. "Do you know how I've spent the last hour? Hearing about how werewolves are poor, misunderstood creatures who just can't help themselves. How they never asked for their condition-" he broke off and gave a harsh bark of laughter. "Condition, indeed! As if it were an illness!" "But it is like that!" He couldn't help himself. "I didn't want this, Severus! It wasn't--"
"Quiet!" Snape slammed a fist down on the desk and he jumped. "I've spent my tutorial learning how to eradicate your kind. Werewolves are filthy vermin. Like rats, they spread disease. It is their nature to attack, to bite, to kill, to reproduce by infecting others with their foulness. There is nothing noble about them. I said as much to Miranda--" he broke off suddenly. Miranda Parnival. Ravenclaw. Pretty, intelligent and popular. Also studying Advanced Potions. In a flash, he realised the unrequited truth and the reason for the anger and just as quickly realised he could not voice it. Snape's eyes were already narrowed in suspicion, wondering if he had said too much. He kept his expression blank and Snape straightened up, apparently satisfied. "I'm not in the mood to wait." He looked down at Snape's outstretched hand and saw the knife. Snape must have seen the shock on his face. "Hurry up, freak. I don't intend to miss dinner because of you." And he'd taken the blade and used it.
Dumbledore listened to an edited version of the story.
"If the knife were not sterilised, that explains it. Severus's Advanced Potions syllabus includes the preparation of potions used to defend oneself against Dark Creatures. Madam Pomfrey diagnosed this just in time for, without treatment, it is probable you would have died. As it is…well, I need to ask you a question. Do you think Severus intended to kill you?"
He thought for a moment, trying to consider the possibility objectively. Snape had been malicious, cruel and spiteful: but murderous?
"No," he said finally. "I think all this happened because he was hurt and just wanted to hit back. I don't think he meant for me to die. "
"Very well," Dumbledore stood up. "I don't wish to tire you out but if Madam Pomfrey will allow, I think you probably have some visitors who are rather anxious to see you. And I have an appointment with Mr Snape." He walked to the main door and opened it: James and Peter practically fell into the room.
"Gentlemen," Dumbledore acknowledged with a twinkle in his eye and left.
Remus sat up in bed, his face filled with pleasure.
"How're you feeling, Moony?" Peter asked, handing over the large bag of Chocolate Frogs he had been carrying, helping himself to one as he did so.
"Better, a lot better." He glanced over at Madam Pomfrey who was busying herself at the other end of the ward and asked in a low voice: "James, what about Snape?"
"Bloody little vampire!" James snorted venomously. He saw the anxiety in Remus's eyes and controlled himself. "Look, Moony, I don't know when or how he got to you. I couldn't understand why you wouldn't tell us what was going on but when we were in that classroom, it came to me that somehow Snivellus was holding our friendship to ransom. He probably said if you told us, we'd attack him and then we'd be expelled. I'm right, aren't I?"
Unable to speak, Remus just nodded.
"I thought so. Anyway, once I'd figured that out, I knew the last thing we should do was play into his hands." James smiled and absent-mindedly reached for a Frog. "Padfoot took a bit of convincing. He was all for cutting Snape open and draining his blood."
Sirius! Where was he? For the first time, Remus noticed his absence. He opened his mouth to ask the question but James was continuing with his story.
"I told Padfoot to look after you. I'd sent Peter to find Dumbledore already. Then I used my wand to tie Snape up - well, left his legs free - I wasn't going to make a habit of carrying him - and marched him off to where he'd hidden the blood." He paused and gave Remus a thoughtful look. "Moony, you are a prize idiot sometimes. I don't know, with you being so ridiculously noble and Padfoot just being so ridiculous, I've got my work cut out, I can see." He turned to Peter affectionately. "What about you, Wormtail? Planning to make my life hell as well?"
"James, where is-" Remus began but was interrupted by Madam Pomfrey.
"Visiting time's over, boys," she announced. "Remus needs his rest. He should be back with you this evening though."
"See you later, Moony." Peter said, pinching one of the Frogs.
"Later," James promised, pinching another, and they were gone.
He lay back on his pillows, allowing Madam Pomfrey to administer a draught of Strengthening Tonic. Where was Sirius?
It was some time after six when Remus returned to the Gryffindor dormitory. He knew the majority of students would be at dinner and he wanted to slip back into student-life unnoticed. The common room was deserted apart from a solitary figure by the window. It was Sirius.
"Padfoot…?"
Sirius sprang round and moved to greet Remus then stopped awkwardly. "Moony," he said, his voice tight, "it's good to have you back."
Remus cocked his head on one side, puzzled. What was wrong with him? He walked forward and laid a hand on his arm. "Padfoot, what is it?"
He did not answer for a minute then said in a low voice: "I'll understand if you don't…if you decide you'd rather…I mean, I know it's down to me…it'd be perfectly reasonable for you to -ow!"
Remus had punched him on the shoulder in mock-exasperation. "Will you for once try to make some sense?"
Sirius swallowed. "It's my fault Snape found out about you and I'm to blame for this- this-" he controlled himself with difficulty, "for what you've just gone through." He looked Remus directly in the eyes. "I promise you I never meant to hurt you, Moony. I'll understand if you don't want me as a friend anymore."
So that was it. He had not come to see him with the others because he had not been sure of his reception. Remus gave him a searching glance and accurately read the torment and guilt bottled up inside him. Then he looked inside himself and knew that he had already forgiven Sirius without realising it.
He held out the bag of Chocolate Frogs. "There's only a few left, I'm afraid. James and Peter helped me out with them."
Undisguised hope flooded across Sirius's face and he reached in the bag for a Frog.
"Where are the others?" Remus wanted to know.
"In the dorm."
"Well, what are we waiting here for?" Remus asked briskly. "Haven't the four Marauders got some mischief and mayhem to plan?"
Sirius broke into a wide grin and the pair of them raced upstairs.