Disclaimer: Naruto and all related materials do not belong to me.

When they were younger none of this would have been possible. He would still be bloodthirsty and temperamental. She would still be pathetic. Weak. Worthless! She was so very glad they were older now. Now that they were together things were different. She was different. Sakura never much cared for her childhood. She knew Gaara didn't much care for his either, of course, but people are selfish in their own ways. Sakura was selfish about her past. If Gaara were ever to ask, and he would not Sakura knew, she would not tell him any more than he had already been told. Her family… her parents were none of his business. And his was none of hers. They didn't talk about the years long gone much… and occasional mention to those they had faced… defeated… lost to… Gaara loved to talk about Naruto. Sakura didn't.

Really it wasn't her fault; she knew this as well as anyone else. But when the person you always knew you loved dies and you were powerless (weak! Pathetic! Useless! All over again) to save them it hurts. But Naruto died beside Sasuke so she knew he had had no regrets…

She would always have regrets. She regretted not making up with Ino sooner… she regretted wasting her early years on Sasuke… she regretted not being a better friend to Naruto… for not stopping Sasuke… for being worthless, for not understanding, for not forgiving, for not loving who and how she should have…

Sometimes she hated herself for all she had done and failed to do. Sometimes she would stare at the kunai she was practicing with (because she refused to stay useless any longer) and wonder if she could kill herself before Gaara swooped in to save her. He always saved her. It made her feel like such a horrible person to stare up at his eyes, so lost in concern that he always tired so hard to hide, and see that she had hurt him. So she hadn't tried killing herself in such a long time…

When they were twelve he tried to kill her. Would have killed her too, if not for Naruto…

Naruto…

She wondered if Gaara regretted… surely he must. There were so many wrongs in his life… the murder… but more than that the pleasure of the murder… he must regret it, at least a little.

When she was eight she'd had a stuffed toy that she slept with every night. She'd named the toy "Mr. Sandman" for reasons she'd never quite understood. Perhaps it was the pajamas he wore? Or that he helped her sleep? It didn't matter. What mattered was when she told Gaara about the toy and her depression that it was long gone and never to be retrieved he had given her the strangest look and said the funniest thing he ever had in all their time together:

"It doesn't matter. You have me now. I'll help you sleep if need be."

She thought she'd die from laughing.

When she was nine her mother died. Sakura hadn't told anyone about it, of course; after all she had an image to protect by then. Her father had remarried a woman that Sakura had never cared for, and never would. They are both dead by now but their memories aren't. She remembered telling Sasuke once that Naruto was lucky not to have parents to boss him around. He'd been so angry with her… but she wouldn't take back the words in her heart. If you didn't have parents from the get go they can't die on you and leave you alone.

Her father never loved her. Sakura was so sure. Those grades she tried so hard, so very hard to achieve were all met with the same cold stare and words.

"Can't you do better?"

Better? She was the best! Top marks in every class! So she wasn't the best at the actual arts, how was she to be if he or anyone else had never taught her!

Her step mother used to hurt her. It was a sort of sad, pathetic Cinderella story really. Sakura wasn't as pretty as her "new mommy's" real daughters. Sakura wasn't as feminine… she didn't dream of being a house wife only, or take flower arrangement, or dance… Sakura cleaned the house after school. Sakura made dinner when her father and stepmother wanted to go out for the night. And if Sakura refused, or did it in a manner the woman hadn't approved of she'd been slapped. The tears she would shed later hurt more than any blow ever would.

Naruto was so lucky…

Your parents can't hurt you if they don't exist. She tired to explain that to him once… as they sat alone and talked quietly as the sun set. But Naruto, being Naruto, had refused to believe that anything could be worse than not having parents. Since her parents weren't good enough reason for him she reminded him of Gaara's father.

Naruto's expression had become hard and he changed the subject.

When she was ten Sakura first learned about the Kazekage. She remembered seeing a picture in the newspaper with him and his family in it. Gaara had been absent. She did a whole report on the government in Suna. Got an A too. Her father had taken one look at the paper, the picture mostly, and said to her:

"I should try to marry you off to this guy's kid… get some money running in the family…"

How funny, she thinks now, that it was so very close to happening. A pity, really, he wouldn't be around to rake in the profits.

When she was thirteen she moved out. With Naruto and Sasuke both gone the family that she had found in team seven was broken. Sakura spent the first week crying over them. Her apartment had been small; hardly room for anything at all. Sakura loved it.

It was in that apartment that she spent her first day with Gaara. They had been fourteen, the both of them. He'd recently become the Kazekage and had come to speak with Naruto. About what he never did say but it had been Sakura he'd run into. The end result was them sitting on her couch in that small apartment (small but hers) drinking tea and laughing, she was anyway, over the exploits of their favorite blonde ninja. If asked she'd never be able to say why she let him in her apartment let alone why she gave him a whole batch of chocolate chip cookies. And she certainly would never be able to explain why, as she'd waved farewell from her doorway why she told him to "come back anytime he wanted."

Apparently Gaara took her offer to heart because he began to show up more and more often. Usually accompanied by piles of scrolls that he made Sakura look over again and again. He didn't trust his own advisors and Sakura had apparently become his last resort on getting things done properly. It turned out she was good at it due to all the time she spent with Tsunade-sama. He would always leave with a slight bow of his head and thank her respectfully for her assistance. She would kiss his cheek and say he should come by more often.

And once Naruto came back he did.

When she was seven Sakura remembered drawing a picture of a fox. It was the best picture she had ever drawn in her young child life. The fox was cute, sleeping in the shade of a tree. Her tree. She'd shown her stepmother rather than her father.

She was told that foxes were evil, vile creatures. Told that the demon fox had tried to destroy the village years ago. When Sakura asked why the woman had spurned her and answered:

"Because he wanted to kill your mother before you were born."

After their failed attempt to bring Sasuke back Naruto started coming to her and Gaara's meetings. After the first day Sakura had to scream at him to either be quiet or get out. Naruto would sit off to the side, listening, as Sakura and Gaara bickered and argued over the best way to word this document or that. She knew he was paying attention; after all he wanted to be Hokage some day.

Not that he'd ever get that chance now… oh her poor Naruto…

It occurred to her one day that she had no idea where Gaara was staying during his visits that sometimes lasted for days. He kept his things in a cheap hotel at the edge of town, he'd told her. After an argument that had destroyed half her sofa Gaara agreed to stay at Sakura's whenever he was in town.

She was twenty-one now and staring off into the mirror. The woman staring back at her smiled. "Be happy," Her reflection told her, "it's your wedding day." With her reflection's smile on her face Sakura prepared to walk down the aisle and into her groom's waiting arms. The past was the past. Whatever happened when she was younger was behind her. All that mattered now was Gaara and the life she was going to have with him.

Let her family spurn her now.

The music played and Sakura walked through the door.

When Gaara turned to look at her she was smiling and he found himself returning the gesture.

Happily ever after? We'll have to see.