ATTENTION CONTAINS SPOILERS: DO NO READ IF YOU HAVE NOT READ REBEL ANGELS BY LIBBA BRAY! You have been warned.

Disclaimer: It astounds me the way people can make their disclaimers so creative and original. So I decided to give it a try and make my disclaimer unique, just like everyone else's. Ahem, here it goes…I do not own A Great and Terrible Beauty or Rebel Angels, nor do I own the characters, or even the plot (sad, huh?). I merely own Kartik's point of view throughout the following chapters. There. Creative enough? No? Well too bad.

A/N: GASP! I'm actually writing a fic that has nothing to do with Harry Potter! A travesty! So anyway, one fateful night I finished Rebel Angels, and I thought to myself; what was Kartik thinking throughout this? And then it hit me! Really hard too. There's a little something called fanfiction! Which enables me to add/twist/ruin/etc anything I want to about any book/movie/show/etc! So I decided to write a fic that takes us through Kartik's point of view throughout his confusing romance (kinda…) with Gemma during Rebel Angels. I won't do every single part with Kartik in it, because some parts are really long and I don't want to drag this fic on too much since I'm also finishing Back in Time. All in all, I wanted to take a quick break from humor and try my hand at romance and angst and see how bad I am at it. Now, let's get on with it!

Note: The following chapter occurs in Rebel Angels, pages 50-53 (hardback).

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I dreamt of her again.

I don't remember much of my dream. But the parts I do recollect come to my mind as clearly as if they had actually happened. I can recall her face hovering just above mine, her fiery hair tickling me as her soft, warm lips met my own, her hand stroking my bare chest…

I knew these dreams had to stop, or I would never be able to fulfill my task. My place in the Rakshana would be nonexistent. I would fail my brother. I had to put a stop to these dreams…no matter how much I enjoyed them.

I closed my eyes, pounding the back of my head repeatedly against the prickly tree I was leaning on. Thud. Thud. Thud.

The rhythmic sound of dull thudding was the only thing keeping me sane.

Thud. Thud. Thud.

Had to stop the dreams…

Thud. Thud. Thud.

Must not fail the Rakshana…

Thud. Thud. Thud.

Must not fail my brother…

Thud. Thud. Thud.

Must carry out the task…

Thud.

"That's not fair!" cried a familiar, but very distant, voice.

Her.

I peeked around the tree, a familiar, but unusually beautiful sight meeting my eyes.

A blanket of pure white snow covered the grounds of Spence, the illustrious school looming in the background. The sun shone down on the visage, making the snow sparkle dazzlingly. I could just make out the fearsome gargoyles that the castle was covered with; little grey dots sprinkled across the mesmerizing towers.

"Ann, do you always do as you're told?" her voice exclaimed, now nearby. "This is war!"

I peered through the thick trees of the forest, spotting a red head of hair racing toward me. She was coming.

I quickly hid behind the tree again, heart beating rapidly, unsure if I should reveal myself or not.

But the sound of her footsteps stopped, and I peeked around the tree again. She stood stock-still, arms out, and straining against something. It was then that I realized she was stuck in the mud, and was straining to release her feet from their muddy prison.

I hurried forward from my hiding place and grabbed her wrist, and just in time, for she nearly fell forward on her face. I pulled her up from the mud and quickly dragged her behind my tree. She lifted her head in surprise and her eyes met mine.

"Kartik!"

"Hello Miss Doyle," I said, smiling at her soggy appearance. She was soaked, and was covered in dripping snow; wet tendrils of golden red hair that had escaped from her bun now framed her face, making her look rather alluring. I chose to ignore this. "You look…well."

A small blushed crept across her features. I chose to ignore this as well.

"Why didn't you respond to my note?" I asked, trying to keep the slight distress out of my voice. I would never admit it to anyone, but I had worried about her. I tried not to, I wasn't supposed to. But I could not help it. When she did not respond to my note, I became concerned that someone or something had possibly harmed her in some way. I hated myself for it, especially now that she was standing in front of me, unharmed and playing in the snow. I felt foolish. Of course she had snubbed me; I was of no importance to her. I was only a messenger, getting in the way.

She grimaced slightly. "It is difficult to get away. I…"

She stopped, hearing something. I heard it too; her friend was calling for her.

I tightened my grip on her arm to prevent her from following her friend's summons. I had to inform her of the most recent condition of the realms. "No matter. We've little time and I've much to say. There is trouble in the realms."

She frowned, and her eyebrows furrowed slightly. "What sort of trouble? When I left, all seemed well. Circe's assassin had been defeated."

I shook my head and her frown deepened. "Do you remember when you smashed the Runes of the Oracle and you set your mother free?"

She nodded.

"Those Runes were the Order's ancient binding on the great power inside the realms. A sort of safe for their magic. It was a way to ensure that they alone could draw on it."

I heard her friend call for her again, and I could tell she was getting closer to where we spoke.

"When you smashed the runes, Miss Doyle, you destroyed the binding," I whispered urgently.

Her eyes widened. "I released the magic into the realms."

I nodded. "Now it is loose, free for anyone to use for any purpose, even if they do not know how. This magic is extremely powerful. And to release it into the realms with no control…"

I trailed off, dreading what I was about to say. But I forced myself to continue. "Certain elements could seek to have domination over all the realms. They could be in league with each other-and with Circe."

"Circe…" she muttered, her expression horrified.

"Gemma, come out, come out wherever you are!" giggled her friend, and I felt a wave of annoyance toward her friend for interrupting our important discussion.

Without thinking, I put a finger to her lips, and flattened her against the tree with my body. I was so close I could feel her warm breath on my neck, and I immediately regretted my decision, for her closeness was making my chest constrict. My dreams came to mind, and I quickly shoved them to the back of my brain and plunged back into our conversation.

"There is a way to bind the magic again. A hope." I could tell her friend was no longer near us, and I stepped away from her, almost reluctantly. "Did your mother ever make mention of a place called the Temple?"

"N-no," she breathed. "What is it?"

"It is the source of magic inside the realms," I answered. "We need you to find it."

"Is there a map? A marker?"

I exhaled and shook my head. I almost hated the fact that she would have to find it on her own. "No one knows where it is. It is well hidden. Only a few members of the Order knew where to find it at any given time. That was the only way to keep it safe."

"How am I to find it, then?" she asked wearily. "Am I to rely on the creatures?"

"No. Trust no one. Trust nothing." 'Including me...'

"What about my visions? May I rely on them?"

"I don't know. Their source is the realms," I replied, shrugging. "I cannot say."

"And when I find the Temple?" she prompted.

I could feel my face paling and it's as if she's said the magic words. Once she found the Temple and the power of the realms was in the hands of the Rakshana, I would have to kill her. Her. Why did it have to be her?

"Use these words: I bind the magic in the name of the Eastern Star." I looked away from her as I said this, afraid she might see the lie in my eyes. The Eastern Star. The Rakshana. I was deceiving her and I hated myself for it.

"The Eastern Star. What does it mean?"

"It is a powerful binder, a spell of the Order, I think," I said. I still could not bring myself to look her in the face.

My ears suddenly picked up the noise of approaching feet and I glimpsed her friend drawing closer through the thick forest. Never before was I so glad to see this friend of hers. I prepared to take off through the woods, away from her curious gaze.

"I shall be in touch," I said before leaving. "I don't know what you shall find in the realms, Miss Doyle." I hesitated before adding "Be careful. Please."

I turned to go, but stopped, contemplating whether I should say more. Whether I should give her advice, or support of some sort. I had glanced at her face before I turned and she looked so helpless, so lost. I brought an immense task upon her, and terrible news. Before I could debate with myself any longer I rushed back to her and took her small hand to my mouth, brushing my lips across her smooth, warm skin.

Suddenly shocked with myself, I let go and tore away from her as fast as I could. I had no idea where I was going, but it didn't matter very much. Just as long as it was far away from her.

Pain shot through my side as I sprinted over the snow, dodging trees and bushes. When I could run no longer, I stopped and leaned against a tree, panting. I supported my upper body, which suddenly felt extremely heavy, with my hands on my shaking knees.

'Fool,' I thought to myself. I kissed her. I hadn't meant it to happen, but it seemed like the proper thing to do at the time. Now what would she think of me?

My panting subsided slightly, as did my resentment for my actions. I was supposed to woo her, was I not? I was supposed to gain her trust. But that wasn't what I was thinking when I kissed her hand, and that's what scared me.

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A/N: Like it, hate it? Tell me so!