*sigh* what annoys me is that I had this entire chapter written and never posted it because it wasn't good enough. And then my laptop died, so it is lost. So now I get to write it all over again, and everyone knows the second is never as good as the first. So bear with me.

Syaoran opened the door to his mansion and stopped dead in his tracks.

"What are you doing here?" He asked. The woman just smiled, a smile that though charming was mysterious.

"Ah, Syaoran, this is Naomi. Your fiancé." Yelan smiled a smile identical to the other woman's.

"Excuse me… fiancé? Her? Stalker nurse lady is my fiancé?"

"Nice to meet you Li Syaoran." Naomi curtsied. Syaoran's eyes rolled into the back of his head and fell to the floor. Everything went black.

An Unpredictable Month

Chapter 20

Day 19

August 19th

"… and I just can't believe that you're stubbornly refusing to tell the girl that you love her when it's so clear that you do. If even I can figure it out I'm pretty sure your mom has… I don't even have a purpose here. I'm just the poor little fiancé who gets to sit by your sick bed and wait for you to wake up…" Naomi's voice trailed off, sounding more and more agitated. "I can't believe you fainted. What a sissy." She snorted. "Or is it that being married to me is such a horrible thing that you can't even stand the thought of it, so much so you faint."

Syaoran's eyes weren't open but he could hear everything, and the way Naomi was saying the word 'faint' was making him twitch in irritation. Was she purposely trying to make him angry?

"Seriously," she continued. "I'm sitting in a hospital waiting for you to open your eyes and all I can think about his how much you should be with her. If you were a man you would stop sitting around like this, rush into that room, take her in your arms, kiss her like no tomorrow and say those three magical words. Granted after all this she'll probably think of a hundred different reasons for why you're coming to her now and none of them will be because you really love her… but if you were a man you'd stick it out until you convince her. Clearly you're not a man."

Syaoran's jaw tensed. Not only was she making him sound like a complete moron for fainting she was completely emasculating him.

"Men!" She announced with a sigh, "can't even stop pretending to be sleeping long enough to defend his own manhood. I could start attacking the girl… or look under his sheets, see if he really is a man. With my luck he'd end up having girl parts." Naomi grumbled. "Certainly acts like he has girl parts."

"Enough." Syaoran said through clenched teeth. "I have a duty to my family and my future. I can't throw it all away for a girl. I understand that, why don't you?" He was so sick and tired of feeling like crap for the choice he'd already made, he was sick of being told he was wrong and he didn't feel like he deserved to be treated like a parasite by this woman who was supposed to marry him. She didn't even know him.

"Morning sunshine." Naomi said to him. "And to answer your question… because I believe in love. What good is family and future when you're going to regret losing the love of your life?"

Syaoran sat up in his bed and looked directly at Naomi. "You are my fiancé. I don't know whatever twist of fate decided that but you are. You're going to have to live with it."

"I don't want to!" Naomi shouted.

Syaoran sat stunned. Naomi didn't seem like the kind of person to raise her voice to anybody.

"I don't want to." She repeated. "I don't want to be married to a guy who's in love with another woman! I don't want that life. I'd give up my family and my future not to have it! I am not the other woman! I won't be the other woman in my own marriage just because you are too stupid to be with the woman you fell for!"

Syaoran was completely speechless. He hadn't considered what it would be like for Naomi. He'd only thought of himself, a reoccurring problem it seemed. He'd ended up sticking the girl he loves in a hospital and the woman he was about to marry was hurting inside because she was about to end up being second best.

"I know you don't have words." Naomi sighed, "But think of me for a second, don't I deserve to be happy? To be loved?"

"I can learn to love you." Syaoran tried, but his voice sounded unsure and he felt even more unsure about the promise.

"First loved." She added. "I deserve to be loved first." She touched his hand, "I can't break this engagement… only you can do that."

Syaoran looked at their hands and then looked at her, "Naomi…"

"Please." She begged. "I can't be unloved for all my life. I can't be second."

Syaoran nodded. "Okay." His voice sounded like a whispery sound.

"And then you can go back to Sakura."

"No." He shook his head, "No… I can't."

Naomi just stared at him. She couldn't seem to decide whether to shake her head in dismay or to nod in understanding. Instead she just said, "Just don't wait too long."

"At least I understand why you've been trying so hard to get my and Sakura together now." Syaoran smiled. "I didn't get it before… it worried me. My fiancé – excuse me, ex-fiancé –" She smiled again, "trying to meddle in my love life and set me up with someone else. I get it now. The engagement is off."

Naomi smiled. "Thank you." She kissed his hand gently and walked towards the door. "And you're wrong. My reason for everything is the simple fact that I believe in love." And she disappeared into the hallway leaving Syaoran feeling just as empty as the space she had just left.

Yesterday he was engaged, today he wasn't. Yesterday he ran through the mud and rain to visit Sakura in the hospital, today he was laying in the same hospital trying not to think about her. Yesterday he thought he was right, today he wasn't so sure. One day. That was it. A single day and things seemed to had descended into hell.

Sakura stared at the white curtain billowing in the breeze. It seemed to full of hope when she felt like there was none. How many more times could she listen to him tell her that she's not the one? How long could she hold out? How could she be this weak in the first place? If only she could leave the hospital, maybe she could move on. Maybe she could learn to live again. There were worse things right? Like torture, or rape, or starving people all over the world, or being forced to sell yourself for food, or being sold off for your family… those were certainly worse. So much worse than being turned down by the guy you're in love with, right?

No matter how much she told herself these things she still felt like someone had ripped her apart. She was scared. Scared that she could have become like this over a guy, scared that she didn't know if she wanted to get better, scared that she was getting more and more depressed. She didn't even believe in this! All those girls who fall into nothing because of a guy, she never believed it that. It all seemed so melodramatic and absolutely nonsensical, she'd have to remember to apologize to all the girls she'd secretly rolled her eyes at after they broke down because of a guy.

She turned her head away from the curtains and stared at the wall instead.

"Hi there." A doctor came bouncing in. "I'm just going to check your stats and make sure you're a-okay." She smiled.

"I'd like to leave." Sakura told her. "I can't stay here anymore."

"Why is that sweet pea?" The doctor asked while checking the monitors.

Sakura struggled with her thoughts for a moment. What was she supposed to tell her? 'hey I'm all better, let me out.' ? or how about 'I feel like one of those girls in soap operas and I need to escape, please let me go' ? None of those seemed like good options.

"It's depressing." She finally said. "It's not helping me to be in here staring at walls when I could be out there."

The doctor looked at Sakura with half a frown. "Unfortunately I can't do anything about letting you go home right now, but I will do whatever you need to make this place more comfortable for you." She smiled again. Sakura sighed.

"You've only been in here for a day, don't worry… they'll discharge you soon." The doctor said. "All your stats seem very good, you're a very healthy young lady."

Sakura almost snorted. There wasn't anything healthy about her thoughts. The doctor gave her one last smile before leaving the room. Sakura looked at the curtains again.

"I need out." She said.

Syaoran paced outside his mother's office doors. Practicing a speech inside his head, there was so much to say and not much time to say it, and certainly no time for error.

"She'll see you now Mr. Li." His mother's secretary told him. Syaoran took a deep breath and entered the office.

"Syaoran. This is a pleasant surprise. How's Sakura?" Yelan asked

"Mother." He said strongly, "I've broken off my engagement with Naomi. We both agreed on it so I will consider the matter of our engagement settled, we will not be getting married." His eyes didn't waver from hers but he felt like all his confidence was the air inside a balloon, it would all come rushing out at the smallest puncture.

Yelan eyed her son and then nodded once, "Consider it done."

Syaoran blinked, "Okay… okay perfect. Thank you mother."

"Was that all?" She asked knowingly. "Perhaps there was something regarding Sakura you'd like to tell me?"

"No." Syaoran said after a moment, "there's nothing else."

Sakura resorted to closing her eyes. The darkness was much more welcoming than the objects in her room, the doctors had finished their rounds and now she was just waiting for the day to end. Just another day that would end like all the rest. Just one more day. In the grand scheme of things it didn't matter very much… it was just one day.

Being here locked in a room without anyone was exactly like the time Syaoran had stuck her in her room after she hurt her ankle and it was dark and gloomy and she felt like the world was going on without her. This was just a more severe case of that. She tried to remember how she'd managed to escape.

"No, let me go!" She shouted. At this exact moment, Syaoran was kicking the door closed behind him as Sakura was hoisted on his shoulder helpless. She screamed and shouted all the way to the kitchen when he finally set her down on the counter.

Sakura sighed, that's right. Syaoran had stolen her and made her eat. Then she'd know he was just trying to protect her, what was he doing now?

"Syaoran." She whispered into the darkness.

Sakura let out a huge sigh. She'd told herself that she didn't care if he said he didn't want her, she'd told him that she didn't care if she got hurt. So why was she in this hospital under the watchful eyes of doctors and nurses feeling like a heart broken mess? She was stronger than this. Ryao had thought she was stronger than this, Syaoran had thought she was stronger than this, she had thought she was stronger than this and for goodness sake she was going to be stronger than this.

Sakura crinkled her brow in determination and called for a nurse.

"Hi… could you call Li Syaoran for me? I need to talk to him." Sakura asked sweetly. "It's important."

The nurse nodded and left the room. Now all she had to do was wait. One way or another Sakura was getting out of this hospital tomorrow, this was going to be fixed. She would not sit here like a depressed, heart-broken teenager, she would not sink to that melodramatic level.

Syaoran stepped into the room cautiously.

"You rang?" He drawled.

"I think we need to talk." She told him. "In fact we do need to talk."

Syaoran looked at her, she was sitting up in her bed looking healthier than he'd seen her since she collapsed. He couldn't avoid this forever.

"Fine." He replied. "We'll talk."

Sakura smiled, "Good. I think there's a few things you have wrong." She watched Syaoran raise his eye-brows. "First of all, before I start, this is a truth zone. There will be no more lies. Agreed?"

Syaoran hesitated but nodded his head.

"Good." She smiled wider. "When I had that panic attack, it was your fault. Suddenly breaking up with me like that when I love you so much, that was foolish. I told you it wasn't your fault because I wanted to protect you. Now it can't be entirely your fault obviously, I should have been stronger and I wasn't. I wasn't prepared for it, you had told me that everything was going to be fine, that no one was going to get hurt. I believed you. That was my fault."

Syaoran didn't say anything. He felt a rush of overwhelming thoughts swarm him. Who was this girl sitting in front of him? She seemed to be much more confident than the Sakura who had been staring at walls and refusing meals just yesterday.

Sakura continued on. "You need to stop telling me that everything will be fine." Sakura said to him forcefully. "Truth Syaoran, truth. Does that word mean anything to you anymore?"

Syaoran's voice was caught in his throat. "I thought this was a conversation, not an attack." He choked out.

Sakura took a breath. "You're right. This is a conversation, is there anything you'd like to say to me?"

"Does it ever throw you off how many times you've been in the hospital this month? Or how many times you've been hurt? You're a walking disaster and I'm helping you every step of the way. That is not healthy. I can't be here." Syaoran told her. "Did it ever occur to you that we're not supposed to be friends? That we're not supposed to be together? It's my fault you almost had an eating disorder, it's my fault you hurt your ankle, it's my fault you had that panic attack, it's my fault you're here right now."

Sakura shook her head, "Not exactly." She said softly, "It's my fault for not being strong enough. I'm weak when it comes to you and your opinion means everything to me. I know that now, I can handle it now."

"You're in a hospital Sakura." Syaoran pointed out. "You wouldn't even touch food yesterday."

Sakura ignored this, "I love you." She said this with such determination that Syaoran was stunned for a brief moment.

"I told you how I feel about you already." He replied with finality.

"Actually, you never said you didn't love me." Sakura told him calmly. "You never said anything. You just looked away and I took it as rejection, which it was, but I want to hear it from your mouth." She took a breath and sat up taller. "Tell me that you don't love me. Tell me that you don't want to be with me. Tell me the truth."

Syaoran stood there looking at her. She had backed him into a corner and there were three ways out of it. 1. Run. 2. Tell the truth. 3. Lie. Except he couldn't lie because he'd promised to tell the truth, he couldn't tell the truth because he couldn't be with her and he couldn't run. He couldn't run because that's what he had been doing the entire time. Running away from her and running away from the feeling he wasn't supposed to have.

"You have to understand something Syaoran. I run. I always have. I run away when I'm scared or upset or angry. Or when I don't want to face something, but as I was running away tonight I realized that I didn't want to run away anymore. I don't want to be a coward." Sakura's words tumbled through his mind. That night she'd stood tall and told him that she wouldn't run anymore and now she was sitting in front of her like the princess she was and telling him once again that she wasn't running. He couldn't understand how she kept saying how strong she wasn't, she seemed to be the strongest person he knew. She just kept coming back at full force.

"I can't give you an answer." He told her. "I can't tell you the truth, I can't lie to you and I can't run. So all I can say to you is that I can't give you an answer."

Sakura bit the bottom of her lip in thought. She could deal with that. That meant that he might or might not love her. It didn't give her a definite but it gave her a fleeting hope.

"Okay." She replied. "I'll take that. This isn't over though Syaoran, I'm not giving up. I'm not fleeing. Consider this carefully, I'm still under your care until the 31st. I will see you every day and every day you will be reminded that I am in love with you. One of these days you will have to tell me the truth, whether it's an answer I want to hear or one I don't… you will give me an answer."

Syaoran swallowed hard. She was going to make his life difficult, he could just imagine it. "Can I leave?" He asked her. "I said I couldn't run, leaving without permission right now seems like running."

Sakura laughed. "You can leave as soon as you hug me." Her smile lit up her entire face. "I know the conversation was heavy, but I'm still your friend and you're still my friend… I don't want that to end just because I confessed. I still want to throw spaghetti at your face."

Syaoran laughed out loud for the first time in days. "Your aim sucks, the only time you hit me is by accident."

"Well in that case I hit you by accident a lot." Sakura retorted. Syaoran laughed again, the tension leaving his body. He walked over to her bed and gave her a bear hug, it felt good to have her in his arms again.

"You can leave now." She told him when he let go. Syaoran walked towards the door but didn't go through it, he picked up the visitor's chair and placed it beside the bed.

"I think I'll stay actually." He said with a smile, "I want to talk to my friend for a while."

Hi ladies and gentlemen : ) . Welcome back! It's midnight, go me! I did some of this chapter yesterday... some it a few weeks ago… here and there type thing. I wasn't sure where I wanted this chapter to end until I'd gotten close to the end. I wanted to complete this yesterday but the internet was out so I couldn't re-read the last few chapters to see where I wanted to go with this so I did a draft last night and when the internet was fixed today I re-read and edited and this is what you ended up with.

Thank you so much for your loyalty and I hope you all don't hate me too much. There's still a month left of summer and now my ideas are flowing so I should update at least once more before I jump back into school.

Thanks for everything so far,

Jiade-103

As usual, only review if you want to. I don't have a 'review this many times and I'll update' mandate.