The hardest thing about writing an original scenario is writing the most boring part about a scenario: The build-up, the exposition, the character development. Not to worry though, I'll never be truly dead. Feel free to send me your suggestions on my writing, seeing as I have no betas to read through it other than myself.

Do note that if there are any problems with the story, it's because once you read over it 30 times everything looks the same. Old hat, the reason why a beta or two is generally necessary, but my activity is too irregular for that.

"Oh. my. GOD. Why am I still doing D-Rank missions?!" Naruto burst out in the middle of his pacing. He was on the verge of pulling out his hairs like a madman, he was so fed up with doing menial chores.

Neither Asuka nor Koyomi could give a satisfactory reply because they felt the same way, and so remained silent.

"Three weeks..." Naruto moaned, falling to his knees. "Three weeks of doing chores and picking up trash. What did I do to deserve this?" he questioned the sky rhetorically, arms held high in dramatic fashion.

"You exist," his teammates answered in synchronicity without missing a beat.

Naruto frowned as he turned to look at the two girls, adopting an expression of being offended. "You two are still on me about that? I said I was sorry."

Koyomi rubbed her temples tiredly. "Quit your whining, I can't take it this early in the morning."

"That's what she said."

Koyomi slammed a kunai into the ground, a silent, menacing smile appearing on her face. "This is why we're still on about that, you chauvinistic monkey."

"I don't even know what that means."

"My point exactly."

"Pfft, whatever."

"SHUT UP!" Asuka shrieked, hands over her ears, "The two of you are the most annoying existences in my life!"

Naruto scoffed, "You should listen to a recording of yourself."

"Bitch, I'll teach you what happens when you stop fearing me!" Red leapt on blond and the former began beating the shit out of the latter handily.

"God, this team," Koyomi moaned, face in her palms.

"Who started the party without me?" Kouryou sidled up casually to the trio. "Alright, break this up, break it up." The four of them ten sat in silence, the three Genin clearly looking annoyed at the Jounin's smug smile and late arrival. "This kind of abysmal team relationship is why you can't have the good things in life. True teamwork is more important than just being able to passably work together on the field."

"Get to the point, sensei."

"As you will, Asuka-chan. You see, normally this level of teamwork would be fine, but we aren't a normal case. The hope is that you three become the best damn team the village has seen in decades, and that means that I can't settle for anything but the best out of you three."

Asuka tapped her feet impatiently, playing the dangerous game of interrupting her teacher yet again. "The point. The point."

Kouryou frowned at the redhead in apparent displeasure. "The point is, I want cordial, if not friendly, relations between the three of you off the field. Enmity between each other only means that there's more of a chance to screw up during a mission. That said, go home and pack for an overnight trip. For the next mission we'll be leaving the village." Their eyes brightened visibly. "Before some of you," he glanced at the blond, "get any ideas, it's still a D-Rank mission. A renowned hot spring is having trouble meeting demand after a few of its employees have fallen sick."

"Hot spring!?" A certain white-haired individual perked up visibly at the words.

"For work, not pleasure." Kouryou warily scrutinized his now sparkling student.

"Work up a pile of sweat and have the pleasure of helping out later."

He opened his mouth as if to try correcting her yet again, but closed it after some consideration. "This girl is in for one hell of a wake-up call," he mumbled to himself. "We'll meet at the north gate in two hours. Pack for two nights, three days. That is all."

Naruto watched his leader's backside recede for a short while before turning to ask Asuka, "Have you ever been to a hot spring before?"

"No, but that one probably has, why don't you ask her?"

"But I don't want to talk to that one."

"How did it come to this…" that one glumly mopped the kitchen tile. "We've come all this way to a hot spring but it's so busy that we have no free time. Ah, fate, how can you be so cruel?"

"You think you have it tough?" Naruto displayed his cut-ridden fingers. "I never knew that cutting vegetables could be so dangerous." He sighed, continuing to peel potatoes. "I don't think I'll ever be able to look at a potato the same ever again."

"At least what you're doing is practical."

"Practically dangerous."

"Don't tempt me. You know, it's your and Asuka's fault that we're stuck doing D-Rank missions week in, week out."

He nearly dropped the hand peeler. "Huh?! My fault?!"

"If you two weren't constantly bickering with each other, and if you weren't a chauvinistic dick, our teamwork wouldn't be so terrible." She grimaced as the dirty water in the bucket grew murkier. "Disgusting."

"Our teamwork is better than any other team's, Kou-sensei said so!" protested Naruto, waving the peeler animatedly.

"He also said that that wasn't good enough for us, and don't wave that at me you idiot, you could hurt someone like that."

"…"

The head chef stuck his head out of the kitchen adopting a severe expression. "HEY! Hurry up with the potatoes, kid! Dinner needs to be served in two hours!"

"S-Sorry sir!" Naruto hurriedly resumed his potato peeling. "Ow!" He peered at the cut on his thumb as it bled freely. "Damn it…"

"Getting careless because you panicked. Nice application of what you learned in school."

"Shut up! This kind of scratch is nothing."

Sighing, Koyomi withdrew a bandaid from her pocket. "And what happens when you collapse from blood loss? Hold still, you brat." She deftly wrapped his thumb. "Don't expect me to cover for you every time you make a mistake."

"Do you always carry that sort of stuff around?" He was slightly incensed at the jab, but knew when he couldn't win an argument. Koyomi was always the calmest one in their platoon during a mission.

She replied rhetorically, "Do people get injured?"

"I hate people who answer a question with another question." Naruto resumed his potato peeling, this time at a more sedate pace. "I hate not getting a straight answer."

"I hate people who don't know their own limits."

"Hah! There is nothing in this world that can limit me!"

"Hhhhh..."

Silence fell between the two as Koyomi finished mopping the floor. She put away the supplies and turned to leave when a soft murmur caught the edge of her hearing. "Did you say something?" Koyomi looked back at the blond to find him looking stubbornly away, a tint of red on his cheeks.

"Th-Thanks. For the bandaid."

She stared at him, dumbfounded for a moment at the heartfelt thanks she'd just received, before smiling and leaving without another word.

...

...

"Is every day going to be like this one?" The whining that his platoon had come to dread had started again.

"Quit your whining."

"No seriously, are we gonna have to do this for two more d-oomf"

"Quit your whining means quit your whining." Asuka looked annoyed. "You're not the only one suffering." She held up two more pillows. "Care to keep going or will I have to knock your block off next time?"

"Hah, what could a pillow do?"

"Say hello to the pillow of your demise, you dumb blond!" The full force of Asuka's body slam, who had worn the pillowcase, struck his face. Under the force of her repeated strikes, he curled up into the fetal position.

"Uncle, uncle!"

All the while, Kouryou lay on his side, watching the scuffle with an expression of utter boredom. "Ah... It was funny the first few times but a routine repeated so often gets stale."

"What about this looks like a routine to you? Help me, Kou-sensei!"

"Help? Help... Help! I have no idea what that word means."

"You're a liar and you know it! Hey, stop! St-urk!"

"Stranglehold of justice!"

Kouryou sighed. After work, he had to put up with their antics. Sure, it was an expression and realization of their youth, but they were too youthful. From the look of silent, subdued exasperation on his face, it was obvious that he had never been that rowdy as a Genin, if ever. The entire room stunk of confusion. It seemed like forever until the two finally finished fighting, at which point Kouryou volunteered a suggestion.

"How about we do something fun to break the ice?"

Naruto glanced apprehensively at his teacher, knowing that the man's sense of fun was somewhat distorted from regular views.

"Let's play Truth or Da-rf" Naruto silently held the pillow against his teacher's face, a look of burgeoning horror spreading like wildfire across his face. "KID, DO YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH!?" Kouryou roared, throwing the pillow away and placing the blond in a painful armlock. The blond screamed his submission, which completely flew over the man's head. "INSOLENT! Or do you think I'd let you off that easy?"

Asuka and Koyomi looked at each other for a short moment.

"Well. I don't know about you guys, but I'm hittin' the hay."

"No, wait, we still have to- JESUS!" Naruto pulled frantically at Kouryou's hair in vengeance.

"Yeeeeah, I'm going to sleep too." Koyomi turned away as Kouryou performed a splendid German Suplex on the blond.

...

...

...

Naruto groaned as he pushed the rag cloth, also known as the hand-powered mop, across the floor. I can't take much more of this. He looked over to the bespectacled assistant manager supervising the cleaning. For some reason, he was the only one that had a watcher assigned to him as he did the chores. I don't think I did a bad job yesterday either... Over and over and over, he adjusted the cloth and went in overlapping lines, occasionally rinsing it. Oh the tedium. "Tell me again why I can't just use a vacuum?"

"I've already told you twice, kid."

"Yeah well, I've got a bad memory."

"A vacuum would damage the fine wood finish on the floor. As a hot spring inn, our priority lies in satisfying our customers and giving them a splendid atmosphere in which to relax, not to make it easy on ourselves and cause unnecessary damage to the architecture."

"The problem is, I'm not a customer," the blond bemoaned.

"Indeed, that is why you need to work hard and appreciate just how much work we put in to make your life easy and comfortable the next time you go to a high-class hot spring like this one."

"Oh, I'll appreciate it. I'll appreciate running your scrawny butt into the ground with illogical demands."

His supervisor smirked mockingly. "Like you could afford it."

"I could! I so totally could! Just wait and see, I'll become a great ninja and have an awesome income!"

"Get back to work!"

"But I'm done."

"Then give me that cloth and go dust out the futons while the patrons are up and out. You're not being paid to sit around."

"Yeah, yeah."

The manager rapped his pencil on Naruto's head. "Don't say it twice like that."

"... Yes," he muttered, walking away while gingerly rubbing his head.

"Futon, futon, fuuuton... Fuuton! I wish I knew Fuuton jutsu... Ggkh!" He struggled with the futon as he walked bowlegged to a window where he could hang it. "Why am I doing this, I'm only thirteen!" With a heave of effort, he hung it over the windowsill. "And... I'm supposed... to do... this... for all the other rooms?!" he panted. I don't think I'm going to survive this. After he finished dusting the futon and dragged it back to its original room, he forced his protesting body to the next. Being so large and hard to see around, it couldn't be helped that he nearly ran into Asuka and Koyomi as he exited the room. Naruto watched his two harried teammates give him dark looks before leaving without a word, carrying the stack of breakfasts to the different rooms. I guess they have it tough too.

When he was just about done dusting all the futons that needed to be dusted, the door to the room opened abruptly.

"What are you doing in here?" asked the large, angular man. He had sharp, thin eyes and a muscular build. Right off the bat, he gave the impression that he did shady things for a living. It helped that he could see the tip of a large-scale tattoo sticking out the side of his shirt.

"As you can see, I'm taking your futon to dust it."

The plentiful sarcasm that he'd dripped his words in flew straight over the man's head, who growled, "Get the hell out of here!"

"What the hell, I'm just doing my job!" Incensed at what seemed to be undeserved hostility, Naruto metaphorically raised his haunches, disregarding in the process the prime rule of service: The customer is always right until proven wrong.

"Invading my privacy is doing your job?!"

"Look, if you didn't want me in here, then you should've notified the staff, yeah?"

"Brat, do you think I'd forget something like that if I didn't want anyone in here? I definitely, specifically told the assistant manager to not have this room entered yesterday!"

"Then don't be getting angry at me, get mad at that jerk for not telling me!"

"He may be at fault, but he's not the one in this room, right here, right now, is he?" The bulky man crossed his arms, daring the blond to try and argue the matter further. "Now, get, out."

"Or else what?" The blond rose to take the challenge, not willing to step down before recovering some of his injured pride.

"..."

"..."

The two stared each other down, and when it seemed like the situation would surpass its boiling point, the sliding door opened abruptly. "There you are! What are you doing in here when a customer is inside!" Lightning fast, he reached out and began to pull Naruto out of the room by the ear. "My apologies, dear customer. As you can see, our part-timer is both hotheaded and idiotic. Please don't hold it against us." He bowed deeply before closing the door, then dragged Naruto outside. "What do you think you're doing?" he demanded. "No matter what the customer says, the customer is always right until proven wrong! It is not your place to get into an argument with a customer, not to mention being exceedingly rude!"

"But-"

"No buts! I've had enough of your antics today. I'm going to have you move all the trash out back to get picked up later, and come see me when you're done. Being distracted or sidetracked is not allowed, got it?"

"...Yes..." he said sullenly.

He trod off sulkily, making his way through the inn with some measure of ease, having mapped out many of the paths on the first day. It didn't take him long to find the back door through the staff room and the towering pile of garbage elicited a heavy sigh. Grunting, he heaved the first enormous bag from the pile. "Making a fool out of me, all of them... One day they'll regret it, when I'm rich and famous and strong they'll be begging to worship the ground I tread on."

And then it happened unexpectedly. He'd been grumpily and tediously carrying out trash, bag by bag by bag. Why the hell did they let this much trash build up? Ugh! It was his 13th trip – He'd started taking count – and he'd yet to finish moving half of the bags. That was when he heard the sound of talking. Being rather short for his age – Despite Kouryou's best efforts to feed the boy a better diet, he still ate too much ramen – he could pass by under the window without being seen. As a pupil of Kouryou, Naruto had an excellent concept of space – it had been mercilessly beaten into him – and how to realize and utilize that space. Especially because of his earlier altercation, it was child's play to determine which room this was. That bastard's room. And he's talking with another person? I thought he was the only one booked there.

"You're absolutely sure about this?" The gruff voice of the person most recently added to his Revenge Note carried out the window.

"Sure as sure, one of those kid Genin is the daughter of the Tsuchikage!" This one was nasally, almost forced, even.

"I think I saw them as they came. Red hair, right?"

"Sure as sure, you can't miss that sort of hair color."

The second man seemed confident, but Naruto could almost feel the aura of nervousness that exuded from the first man. "But they have a Jounin with them, don't they? And, and isn't the Tsuchikage's girl supposed to be some sort of genius?"

"C'mon, trust me. Her old man is the leader of the ninja village. Even if there's the smallest chance she could get fatally wounded, that Jounin won't be able to do a thing. Who'd want her death on his shoulders? All we gotta do is make sure that they don't make a move. If they can't save her, the only thing they can do is give us the money, right? After all, she's practically a princess."

Naruto's eyes widened as the gravity of the situation finally began to dawn on him. His teammate could be in danger! … Well, not likely anymore, considering they don't know I'm outside right now. I think the best thing I can do right now is to finish throwing away this trash and act like nothing's wrong. Kou-sensei always told me never to show my full hand, so... yeah. Heave, ho. Naruto made several more trips back and forth before he again heard the voices as he passed.

"So, remind me again what measures are in place?"

The nasal one sighed. "I did tell you we were risking being overheard just with the last conversation, right? And you want to speak more on the subject? The walls have ears, you know."

"Yeah, so I've heard, but since I'm the one risking the most, shouldn't I be clued in into the plan?"

"What risks? Aren't we taking most of the risk? The most that'll happen to you will be imprisonment. The worst that can happen to us is death."

"So you say, but the length of my imprisonment may as well be a death sentence. Not only would I have attempted to kidnap and ransom the Tsuchikage's only daughter, but I would be defying Earth Country laws, not to mention the threat of using deadly force. Top it all off with having previous misdemeanors and I'll be in there for life."

"True, true."

"So?"

"Alright, fine. The kidnapping is going to happen tomorrow at noon. I overheard that stupid blond say that they'd be here until tomorrow. At that point she'll be the busiest and the most fatigued. It should be child's play to capture her then, especially with the reinforcements coming in tonight." The nasal one chuckled. "Then it'll be smooth sailing from there."

"Isn't the onsen fully booked?"

"They're ninja, they can fend for themselves outside as long as they get paid afterward."

"If you say so."

Well, well, well, Naruto you crafty bastard. I guess all that practice sneaking around at night while I vandalized the village has paid off! Naruto smiled widely. Things aren't going to go the way you planned.

Swelling with pride and confidence, he marched off to complete the last of his trash duties.

"Hey, hey Asuka!"

Asuka ignored the blond as she curled up deeper into her blanket.

"Hey, Asuka! Hey!"

"Mmmrrrgoawayy."

"Hey, listen! Hey, listen! Hey, listen! Hey, listen! Hey-" THWACK.

"Go. AWAY."

Nursing his aching nose – She could have broken it, that bitch! – Naruto crawled back to the redhead, only, this time staying just out of arms reach. "Asuka, this is really, really, really, really, REALLY important!" Even with her pillow smothering her face, he could hear her scoff.

Her clear expression of condescension burned him as she removed the pillow and glared at him full throttle. If looks could kill, Naruto would've been incinerated on the spot. "Coming from you, that's fresh."

"It's only ten! How could you possibly be this sleepy this early?"

"Maybe because we were actually working?!"

Miraculously, Naruto maintained eye contact with his grumpy, red-faced, fatigued teammate without showing any sign of animosity from the implied insult. "Anyways, I overheard something important, Asuka."

She sighed. "I swear to god, if this isn't important, the rest of our platoon will wake up to find Naruto-kebab on the walls and you'll officially take the world record for being the fastest to die as a Genin."

"So, listen to this..."

…

"Heeeeeehh, so they want to kidnap me, you say?"

"Yup."

"So they want to kidnap this highly talented and influential Genin, you say?"

"Uh, I guess you could say that, yeah."

"So they want to kidnap this jewel among jewels, this amazing beauty, you say?"

"Hahh? You? A beauty?!" CRACK.

Naruto nursed his forehead, freshly red from the vicious headbutt he'd just received.

"Let me guess," she huffed, "that's all you know? You don't know who they were or why they need the money?"

"Uhmm, yeah."

"What are you, an idiot?"

"Ugh..."

"It can't possibly be a coincidence that we're both at the same inn. Based on what you've said, it seems as if they've been aiming for me this entire time."

Naruto cupped his chin in a contemplative pose. "Well, you are underage for a Genin. Maybe they think that works for them?"

"And you're overage for a Genin," a deadpan Asuka replied.

"Meh, we can't all be perfect."

"Maybe my dad did something to them when he was still an active ninja?"

"Possibly, but they were talking about a ransom, right? If they wanted to get revenge on your dad, it'd be easier to just kill you or kidnap you or something."

"That's true."

"Mm, maybe they're pedophiles?" SLAP.

"THAT'S NOT FUNNY!"

"... Sorry, I deserved that."

"Sure as hell did!"

Two freezing hands grabbed them both by the nape of their necks, causing both to cry out in surprise. "What the fucking hell are you guys doing when I'm trying to sleep, hm?" Koyomi smiled threateningly. Her very presence was an ice-cold death sentence that permeated the around her almost visibly. I'm very tired right now and I don't have an ounce of patience to deal with your shenanigans right now like a mature person. So? Out with it."

Naruto nodded. Tell her.

Asuka shook her head. No.

He tilted his head. Why not?

She pointed to herself and placed her hand on her chest. This is my problem.

Naruto looked at her with half-lidded eyes as he tapped his forehead protector. Not just your problem. We're a team.

"Enough of this silent bullcrap." Koyomi pulled them both into headlocks on either side. "Tell me, now. Or I'll force it out of you if you so wish."

…

"Well that surely is interesting."

"Right?"

"They're almost as stupid as you are," Koyomi chortled. "Just almost, I do believe you take the gold medal in that regard."

"I take offense to that! Kou-sensei's drilled me hard in my studies. I just lack common sense."

"That's what you call an idiot, idiot," said Asuka. She rested her cheek on her hand. "So. We all know the situation now. The question is, what do we do about it?" Asuka glanced at the wall clock. "In a way that leaves us a decent amount of time to sleep, that is."

"You're about to be ransomed and you're worrying about your beauty sleep?" Naruto palmed his forehead. "I'm appalled and incredulous."

Koyomi's eyes widened. "Speak about incredulous, I'm amazed you even have those words in your vocabulary."

"You don't give me enough credit, Koyomi-chan."

"Sometimes I think so too, then you top your last bit of idiocy and I'm reassured that you're still the idiot we've all gotten used to. Oh, and," she reached out and gripped his head tightly, "Don't call me Koyomi-chan, you brat."

"Y-Yes ma'am..."

"So! Back to business, yeah? I do want to hit the sack at a decent time, you know."

Naruto bowed mockingly. "Yes, yes, your highness."

Asuka narrowed her eyes. "You're lucky that throwing a weapon at you would mean damaging the inn." She flexed her fingers. "Prepare yourself for when we get back."

"Yes, yes, whatever you say your highness." He wiggled his ass and picked his nose in complete disrespect for what he knew would've been a lashing back at the village. Oh man, do I enjoy taunting her without being attacked.

"Back on topic," Koyomi intervened, "Asuka, you should act like you don't know anything's up. If we can draw them into a lull of false security, we can take advantage of that and activate our trap card."

"Trap what?" Naruto scratched his head in confusion. "Is that a weapon of some sort?"

"It's all fine and good if I play dumb and go along with their scheme for a while, but if we don't know what exactly they're going to do, how are we going to trap them?"

Crossing his arms, Naruto thrust out his chest. "Leave that to me, I wasn't the most notorious prankster in Iwa's history without learning something about stealth and traps. The most important thing about dealing with overconfident people is to return to the basics, the things that someone might overlook because it's so simple."

"You mean how you might have overlooked the simple act of me coming back on time?"

By the time Koyomi and Asuka had flinched in shock, Naruto had moved to the opposite end of the room, back to the wall. "I've done nothing, nothing! Nothing, I tell you!"

"I thought the three of you were being a little louder than usual, but what do I find the three of you doing when I get back? Plotting."

The blond waved his arms around wildly in a state of semi-panic. "W-Well, you see, Kou-sensei-"

"I'm proud of you!"

"... Huh?" the three said in unison.

"When dealing with an enemy, you must plan in such a way as to leave no escape routes. Plan for every scenario and create a contingency for every possible mishap where you can, and..." Kouryou reached out and gripped Naruto and Asuka's heads in a frightening vice, "But never, ever, plot without your team," Kouryou glowered.

"We're sorry!"

He let go and crossed his arms, apparently satisfied. "You guys still have a ways to go in the teamwork department. Well, I was eavesdropping for a while hoping you'd consider filling me in," the Genin shifted uncomfortably, "so I get the gist of the situation. So, let's get down to work. Anyone that messes with one of us deals with all of us. We need an accordingly fitting name for this operation. Let's see... Revenge is best served cold, so why not chaos? Let the planning for Operation Chilled Chaos, begin!"

I've been in a bit of a bind recently, with foreclosure of our family's house looming, the need to get my ass off and work on my animation, and the all consuming nature of Guild Wars 2. Nevertheless, I will never give up on this story in particular because it is the culmination of all my dreams and desires. Keep strong, friends.