Author's Note: I know I should be working on "Like Ramen," but the inspiration for this came to me, so I had to share it with all of you, so I hope you enjoy it!

Disclaimer: I don't think Naruto even owns himself

Hinata stood in the brush, trembling, her knuckles turning white as her flesh pressed into the bush. She could still feel thorns in her hands days after, a phantom pain. What was it about that day? Why did she follow him? She didn't know, she didn't know. Her stomach twisted in knots at the thought; even a few years later it made her want to vomit.

"Naru…" Her voice a choked tremor between gulps of air. "Naru…" That word, that name––– what was it? Suddenly the magic was lost; suddenly someone flipped a switch and revealed the man behind the curtain. "Naru…" Suddenly, something died in Hinata. "Naruto-kun!"

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"Hinata-sama…"

"Neji-nii, I'm sure you'll make a good leader now." She turned away with a shaky smile that threatened to collapse her entire demeanor.

"Hinata-sama," the dark-haired boy insisted, catching the girl by the arm. "The funeral––– Are you going to that?" He paused, frowning seriously, even more seriously than Hinata thought necessary.

"The funeral," he began again. "At least you're going to attend that?" Hinata's breath was let out in a shuddering sigh as she stiffened.

"The cremation," she corrected quietly. "No–––I'm not going." Her breathing became shallow, but she fought for control. Air, air… How long must she hold this smile? He wouldn't let her go–– he knew. He knew.

"You shouldn't have called me 'leader,'" Neji whispered, furtively glancing to the side. His grip on her arm tightened as he dropped his voice to a conspiratorial tone. "That could get ruin everything, understand?"

"Yes, Neji-nii." He let go of her arm.

"Good." Already his countenance relaxed, even brightened. "Good."

He was talking about the underground alliance, she knew. The Branch House members of the Hyuuga family had suffered for countless generations under the curse of the mark upon their foreheads. Yet it was known that this curse, this constant fear had given birth to a bizarre, twisted strength; children under the Branch House were developing their Byakugan skills faster than their Main House cousins. Naturally, this worried the Main House families, specifically the Elders who feared for their lives. What if the rebellious nature of Neji inspired a spark in his relatives–– what then? What good was a cursed mark if you are dead before you could use it? Surely the Main House could not kill every one of them; no, a lesson had been learned from the massacre of the Hyuugas' distant cousins, the Uchihas. Thus, several Main House members agreed that come the death of Hyuuga Hiashi, the current leader, an alliance would secretly be formed with the Branch House and Hyuuga Neji.

Hinata, next in line to the Hyuuga throne, would still take her rightful place. Although the skill of her sister Hanabi was far greater, she was neither next in line nor at a proper age to lead. Indeed, she would also never be counted on to comply with such an alliance in the first place; she was a daddy's girl in every sense of the word.

At any rate, it would truly be Neji who ruled, Hinata being a sort of figurehead before she married, in which case her husband would lead the clan (a Branch House and Main House marriage was out of the question–– it would raise far too much alarm in those who would still strictly follow the old ways of living) That was the plan, but too soon did the Elders find they needed to put it into practice. Hiashi's sudden death left a firm tension between the two houses as the Branch House was now suspected of possible poison. That's where Hinata found herself now; a puppet standing before the puppeteer, expected to soothe these anxieties before anything went wrong. He still wouldn't let her walk away.

"He was your father, Hinata-sama." The title was formal and dry; Hinata detested that sort of formality. "You should at least go to pay your respects."

"I'll be in my room if you need me, Neji-nii," the girl answered, her murmur tired and worn. At least she no longer stuttered.

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For the next week Hinata wore black, all black. Too much even by ninja standards. It didn't matter. She wouldn't speak to anyone, even her team; it was as if she had traveled back four years ago to around her first Chuunin Exam. She avoided people altogether for the most part when she could, especially Neji. People assumed she was grieving. After that week ended, she was.

Hinata turned over and held the blankets tightly over her face. At last the maid sighed and left with the tray of untouched food. Hinata's stomach growled harshly at her, but she did not listen. She was cold. Her memory betrayed her, playing the scene over and over again in her head, making it hard to eat anything. Over and over… Hinata bit her lip, hard, then squeaked in pain. She couldn't get a hold of herself. She slowly brought out a pale, shaky hand and slapped herself across the face. She trembled. And that was when, at last, she began to cry.

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"Yeah, it's nice to be back." Empty words that were merely a prelude, a pointless obstacle in the face of why they were all gathered in that place. She couldn't watch. She mustn't watch.

"I heard you spent time with Hinata." A glow spread across Hinata's face. Really? She had heard? Had news spread so quickly?

"I did." His smile caused the girl to nearly choke on her heart. Smiling… smiling for her? Had it made a difference to him?

"Why, are you jealous?" Jealous? His coy grin confused her as she brushed aside a leaf to see well.

"Naruto, that is so–– I mean, sometimes you say the dumbest things!" Hinata closed her eyes and winced as the other girl whapped the blonde boy upside the head. Should she say something? Should she…? No. No, he recovered quickly. Of course. She swept away another slip of green.

"I was just worried; you didn't…" Floundering for words. Hinata leaned forward, heart pounding against her ribcage. Didn't…?

"What?" He showed a dumb expression as he sat, blinded slightly by the sun, tightening the black headband that showed plainly against his gold hair. "What didn't I do?"

"She… doesn't mean anything to you, does she?"

"See, you are jealous!" A cackle of satisfaction cut short by the cracking of knuckles.

"I'm serious! Don't make me hit you again."

"All right, all right. Yeah, I spent some time with her, but it was nothing special." Hinata stopped breathing.

"To her or to you?" she was choking for air.

"I dunno! Twenty questions, Sakura-cha–– OW!" Air, air! She needed air!

"Naruto, you know she likes you!"

"And you know I like you–– what's the problem?"

"The problem is you used her!"

"Not true."

"Yes, true!"

"OW, OW! Why do you have to hit?" Hinata gulped, looking up again. Air, air––– how fantastic, how marvelous to be able to breathe again! She froze in terror, rooted to the spot.

"Hey!" He caught her punch at the wrist, smiling playfully. The other girl tugged away, but he didn't let go. "Naruto!" He caught her other wrist, too. She lost her balance suddenly, falling into the chair with him. He laughed. Hinata's chest tightened, unable to stop herself from watching.

"Naruto!" She was no longer angry. She brought her face to his, a smile on her lips. Hinata let out a silent scream. She shivered, swallowing her heart again. Then ran.

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"Hinata-sama." Neji rapped lightly at the door of his cousin's room. The Main House Elders were beside themselves with worry; they could not lose another leader so soon! How could they have known that the shock of her father's death would prove so detrimental to Hinata's health? Neji stood and listened quietly, then tried again.

"Hinata-sama, you must eat something." No response. Neji was not surprised. He unlocked his Byakugan smoothly, letting his eyes adjust to her lightless room. At last he found the bed. He squinted, looking harder. That was strange… Although in all actuality he was violating protocol, the boy slid open the door and moved quietly across the wooden paneling until he reached her bedside. Very softly he touched the sheets.

"Hinata-sama?" No movement. Neji flung back the covers suddenly, then stared in disbelief. She was gone.

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"Hey, Hinata!" She could still hear the first time he talked to her like that, his eyes lighting up and his smile warm and inviting. At another point in time she would have fainted. He had invited her out that day to a ramen place he visited frequently. Food had never tasted so good in all her life until right then.

The question was not why he had chosen her. His teammate and long-time crush Haruno Sakura had gone off to train with the Godaime Hokage for a month. It was not a rare thing that Tsunade would take off time to teach her favorite pupil, but a month seemed excessive. Still, she was Hokage and therefore she could and did.

No, as Hinata shyly slurped down the steaming noodles she was well aware that Naruto would be lonely. The question was why he had chosen her. Hinata knew, even though she had managed to show strength and courage to the boy on several occasions, that she was still quiet and creepy to him. But for a month (what a blessed, blissful amount of time!) he was by her side. True, there were times when she needed to spend time with her team or when Naruto would venture off with "the guys," but other than that she believed they were inseparable. They talked about everything, things Hinata had never even told her closest friends and things she didn't even know she knew! And to everything she said he would give an emphatic response, mostly smiles and laughter. "Hinata-chan" rung in her ears hours afterwards like the tinkling of some holy bells.

But now she knew the truth––– it meant nothing to him. He did not love her as she loved him. He barely cared about her existence; she did, indeed, feel used. How could she possibly have hoped to compare to the active and brilliant Haruno Sakura? How could she begin t think she was even worthy of being a Hyuuga?

This thought stopped the girl in her weak movements. Where had that come fr–– oh. It was what her father would tell her often, that her weakness made her unworthy of the Hyuuga blood that flowed in her veins. Her father…

He was a cold man. Hinata could not say she loved him. Respected him, yes. Enjoyed him in later years, yes. But love? No, Hinata did not know what it meant to love your family––– she had been rejected even at birth; her mother had died in labor.

This was not why she refused to go to the cremation of Hiashi, however. Not because it hurt, although a part of her would forever feel empty. No, it was because she feared she would feel good. She was terrified of the type of person she might be, and so she did not go.

It was with this knowledge, of heartbreak and immoral character, that Hinata fled the Hyuuga compound for a secret grove on the other side of town. She had a plan, and rehearsed it carefully in her mind as she made her way along the busy streets, clumsily grasping the kunai. She had a plan. Today… she would find release.

Sorry this was short; I originally wanted to make this into a oneshot but had to split it up. Do you think I should continue? Please give me your feedback