Conversations of a Ghost Gabber
A Danny Phantom FanFiction by Cordria

Maddie Fenton was tinkering with some new ghost device when Danny Fenton, halfa extraordinaire, tramped down the steps. "Mom?" he asked, stepping off the bottom step and looking around for the familiar blue jumpsuit.

"What?" she replied destractedly. Her voice rode over a muffled, metallic voice that was coming from under a pile of ghost technology. It had sounded something like, "Fear me."

Danny wrinkled his forehead, wandering over to the crowded table and pushing some of the bits and pieces of ghost hunting equipment out of the way. "The pizza's here."

He could hear the voice better now. It was still stifled, but now he could make out what it said. "The pizza's here. I am a ghost. Fear me." His mother, who was busy putting the finishing touches on her piece of technology, didn't reply.

Picking up one of the inventions lying on the table, Danny turned it over so the speakers faced up, a small grin drifting onto his face. It was the Ghost Gabber: a device that supposedly turned the incomprehensible mutterings of ghosts into words people could understand. In reality, it did nothing of the sort. At least, not for half-ghosts. "Hello," he said, listening for the expected response.

"Hello. I am a ghost. Fear me," the machine said in its monotone, rather bored voice.

His eyebrows went up, a vague smile playing across his face. "Boo!" he quipped.

"Boo. I am a ghost. Fear me." The machine repeated back to him.

"I am… I am… I am…"

The machine faithfully copied him, editing out Danny's hesitations with its blank voice. "I am I am I am I am a ghost. Fear me."

Danny couldn't help the huge grin that was splitting his face by this point. There was totally no point to doing this, but for some reason it was hilarious.

"Ah! I am unmasked for who I truly am!" Danny mock-screamed, dropping to his knees in dramatic torture and raising his arms over his head in defeat. Then, eyes glowing with quiet laughter, he stared at the Ghost Gabber, waiting.

"Ah. I am unmasked for who I truly am. I am a ghost. Fear me." No expression what-so-ever. Danny convulsed with silent laughter.

"After all of these years, to be revealed in such a manner! It's… It's… not fair!" he proclaimed, barely keeping his voice steady with the giggles that were rolling about in his stomach.

The machine did not disappoint. "After all of these years, to be revealed in such a manner. It's it's not fair. I am a ghost. Fear me."

His stomach was seriously hurting by this point. "Somebody, help me!" The last two words came out strangled as he collapsed onto the floor, rolling in scarcely contained laughter.

"Somebody help me. I am a ghost. Fear me." Tears were rolling down Danny's cheeks and he couldn't get a breath in to say anything else. It took a few minutes, but finally he got enough control over himself that he was able to roll to his feet and swipe the tears off his cheeks.

He walked over to where his mother was busy with her invention. "Mom?" he asked, trying to make sure she had heard him about the pizza, grinning broadly as phantom chuckles still shook his body every few seconds.

The Ghost Gabber, still on and forgotten in his hand, dutifully completed its job. "Mom? I am a ghost. Fear me."

Danny burst out laughing and headed back upstairs, dropping the Ghost Gabber back on the table on his way. Maddie looked up from her newest weapon, smiled, and shook her head. "Teenagers," she wondered softly, then set down her tools and headed upstairs for some pizza.

Edited 9/22/08