Author's Note: Thanks for all the feedback and you're patience. This is the last chapter and I've added an epilogue as well. This will lead into the final story which I have already labeled Loved. This will have the happy ending you've been waiting for. Enjoy and remember feedback is always appreciated by all including anything you might want to suggest or comment on.
As a side note...the settings during M/M's discussion is the same as a Season 3 episode.
I had spent the past hour minutes driving around Roswell and the desert hoping to catch a glimpse of Michael. It was getting to the point where I had started to lose the energy I had remaining after a long day that was followed by a ridiculously trying week.
As I was driving past the park, I got this weird sensation. It started in my chest and flowed throughout my body causing me to shiver slightly. Maybe it was fate pointing me in the right direction. Maybe it was God giving me a sign. I wasn't sure but I followed it and sure enough it led me to where I wanted to be most.
With Michael
He was sitting on one of the benches staring out into the road. Whether he was actually watching the cars, I'm not sure. The only sign he showed that he knew I was approaching was a slight twitch that I might have missed if I was hadn't been watching him so intensely.
I sat down next to him on the bench "Hey"
"Hey"
We sat there silently watching the cars drive by. Michael's always been difficult to read and today was no exception so I decided to try and collect my thoughts. What did I want to say to him? How was I going to say it? We've always had this way of communicating without speaking; we simply pick up each others vibrations. But this time I knew we had to speak it out…and we're not so known for the verbal. Well when we aren't arguing.
"Michael I-"
"Maria-"
We both smiled a bit, but eventually that faded. He cleared his throat before saying, "Sorry, you go…"
"I don't know what I ishould/i say in a situation like this". It was weird I had been envisioning this conversation in my mind all day and now here I was, there he was and I was left speechless.
Michael mulled on that for a bit, "Well start at what's most important for you to get out and the rest will come naturally" At my surprised look he smiled sheepishly and quickly added, "I read that somewhere"
Okay. Well that part was easy. "I love you"
"I know" he answered
"Well when I saw, what I saw I was…"
"Hurt. Devastated. Tormented."
"All three and much more…and I'm not over this whole thing at all" I stated firmly. I sighed before continuing, "Sometimes when there's nothing left you have to trust your heart to guide you". I stopped fiddling with my fingers and placed my hands over his. "Mine always has and always will lead me too you".
"Okay"
What?!? I gaped "I've bared my soul out to you and all you say is okay?"
Shaking his head Michael quickly corrected his earlier statement. "It's not like that. Look I agree with you on everything you've said. I love you too and that has never wavered"
Good, so we were on the same page. "So I think we should be with each other during this time and work through it all together".
"I don't".
"What? You don't want to be with me?"
"No I-I didn't mean for it to sound like that". Michael ran his hands through his hair and muttered something that I couldn't catch under his breathe before continuing. "Maria since we've been together I've done nothing but cause you pain".
"This is not your fault! Liz-"I objected, not wanting him to continue.
"Liz is messed up and took advantage of me. I know this. It's just that right now it's not about that, or her…or you for that matter. It's about me." His eyes bore into me and I could see the anguish he was going through. It hurt to hear but I wasn't the only one hurting. "I need time"
Realization dawned on me and I knew that even though I didn't want to I understood him more than he knew. "So it's not me? It's you?" I asked my heart hurting a bit.
"Yes"
"Will you come back to me?" I don't know why I asked it I guess I just needed to have something to hold onto.
"I hope so" He said before getting up and walking away. He never looked back at me once. I sat there watching him though. Staring at the person I loved more than anything in this world walking away from not knowing whether we'd have the chance to be happy ever again.
When he was no longer in view I simply sat there watching cars going by thinking to myself if it was possible to be all cried out.
Five minutes later I realized that it wasn't.
Epilogue
Sometime later after I felt the nighttime chill I got up from the bench. Michael was long gone and I knew that this time I couldn't leave him messages and wear his will down. He needed this time to figure things out for himself and I loved him enough to know that it was for the best.
It hurt. Everywhere. But unlike before this was hurt I would be able to survive. I was alive and had great people around me to help me through it. In my heart of hearts I also had the belief that Michael would work things out and come back to me. Until then I should use this time to heal myself so we'd both be ready for that time.
I got back into my Jetta, turned on the radio and drove home. A loud siren interrupted my peace and I stopped near a curve to let it go by. Curiosity got the best of me and I kept searching out the ambulance as I continued home.
Harry's Hardware? Nope
Mario's Pizza? Nope
Oh no! I thought as the ambulance slowed down as it approached Brody's home away from home. Then the ambulance did the weirdest thing it turned as if it was going to park on the curb beside the UFO Centre then reversed so that the back doors could be opened onto the sidewalk of the CrashDown.
But that would mean…
Within minutes I was parked and pushing through the crowds of people trying to get a glimpse of the incident.
It happened at once. The moment I saw Mrs. Parker crying with Mr. Parker trying to console her, the paramedics came downstairs with the body it had come for.
Liz