Author: Scealai
Rating: PG
Spoilers: None
Summary: Strange conversations happen on the road, especially when they are started by Dean.
Disclaimer: The characters for 'Supernatural' were created by Eric Kripke and belong to Kripke Enterprises, Wonderland, and the CW.

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It was too damn quiet. Dean glanced at Sam who was currently hunched against the passenger side window in a pretence of sleep. His little brother had complained of a headache earlier, so Dean had shut off the music and now the only noise in the car was the hum of the tires on the pavement. There were a lot of things Dean was good at - the list could go on and on and on - but maintaining silence was not one of them.

"I have the wrong name," Dean suddenly announced.

Sam cracked open an eye warily. He had learned very quickly that Dean's out of the blue non-sequiturs were to be met with extreme caution. "Really?"

"Yes. Mom and Dad definitely gave me the wrong name." Dean nodded thoughtfully, completely serious.

"And what would have been a better name?" Sam sat up straighter, resigned to having this conversation with Dean. He raised an eyebrow in his brother's direction. "Dick?"

"No." Dean snorted. "Jack, obviously."

"As in Jackass."

"Wrong again, Sammy. As in Jack, the hero who always saves the day."

"And how do you figure that?" Against his better judgement, Sam found himself intrigued with Dean's weird topic of choice.

"Jack Bauer on '24', Jack Bristow on 'Alias', Jack O'Neil on 'Stargate SG-1', Jack Malone on 'Without a Trace', and Jack Shepherd on 'Lost' to name a few."

"Impressive list. And you fit in how?"

Dean rolled his eyes. "Please. I'm a total badass - like Bauer, Bristow, O'Neil, and Malone. The ladies can't resist me, I routinely save the day and nobody fucks with my family. Just like Jack."

"Okay, I'll give you that, but - given your theory - wouldn't it have been awkward for Dad if he had two sons named Jack?"

Much to Sam's annoyance, Dean laughed. He reached over and ruffled his little brother's hair. "Sorry, Sammy, but you are not a Jack."

"What do you mean, I'm not a Jack? I save people!"

"Of course you do, but you just don't have that Jack attitude."

"Well, if I'm not a Jack, then what am I? And if you say a Sammy..." Sam glared a warning at his brother. They both knew his opinion that 'Sammy' was a chubby twelve year old.

"You're a Tony - the guy who has Jack's back - or a Daniel - the guy who has all the facts to get the team out of a sticky situation - or a Marshall - the techno geek with all the tricks."

"In other words, the sidekick," Sam said dryly and not amused.

"Never a sidekick. You're way too hangdog-woe-is-me to be a sidekick. You're second in command." Dean grinned at Sam like he had just bestowed upon him the highest honor one could aspire to reach.

"Okay, say I buy this 'Jack' theory of yours." Sam rolled his eyes. "How does Jack Shepherd from 'Lost' fit in? I noticed you left him out of your list of attributes and given that list, wouldn't you be more of a Sawyer and I would be Jack?"

Dean snorted. "Sammy, Sammy, Sammy, cut it out with the Jack envy already. Jack was a total, take-charge hero when that plane went down - like I am when a poltergeist is wringing your pretty little neck." Dean's brow furrowed in thought. "Although, I do agree that I would make a kickass Sawyer as well."

"And I suppose that I'm Hurley?"

"Or Charlie," Dean added generously. Dean reached over and squeezed Sam's shoulder. "Second in command."

Sam sighed. "On Stargate, Jack's second in command is Samantha Carter, not Daniel."

"I know, but I thought I would be magnanimous and compare you to a man, not a woman. Although..."

"Dean." Sam glared at him in warning. He was not going to suffer being called Samantha all day.

Dean shrugged, backing off with only a smirk to betray his thoughts. They travelled in silence for a while, the hum of the tires and the inanity of their previous conversation lulling both brothers into a state of happy relaxation. Sam's lips curved into a smirk of his own as a thought occurred to him. He cast a sly glance at his brother.

"Hey, Dean, I have another Jack for your theory."

"Lay it on me, Sam."

"Jack Tripper, Three's Company. You're both skirt chasers who get mistaken for a gay man." Sam laughed.

"Oh, you don't want to go there, Sam." Dean shook his head, even though he chuckled along with his brother.

"Why not?"

"Because if I'm Jack Tripper, that would make you Janet."

The End