"Shit, we're drunk," Genma slurred happily.

"Yeah," Raidou agreed.

"Well, you're more drunk."

"Am not!"

"I think Kakashi's the drunkest," Asuma said, gesturing widely with his cup of sake.

"Most drunk," Iruka corrected, ever the schoolteacher.

"No, that's not even right!" Raidou complained.

"It is too," Iruka insisted.

Gai bounced up and down. "Alas, my eternal rival has beaten me once again, and succeeded in drinking the most sake in ten minutes. Now I will have to bunny-hop two-hundred laps around Konoha!"

"I don't think… that's a good idea," Iruka said blearily. Somewhere in the back of his mind, alarm bells were going off at the idea of a drunken Gai-sensei bunny-hopping around Konoha in the dark.

"I will be back in no more than two hours!" Gai hopped off his stool, and immediately crashed to the floor.

Asuma giggled and pointed.

Kakashi stretched languidly. "That didn't look like a bunny. Bunnies do it more like this." Kakashi hopped. It was actually more akin to a swan dive, only about a thousand times less graceful. He landed face-first.

Gai did not respond. He seemed to have forgotten how to use his legs, and was therefore having a fair bit of trouble getting up off the floor.

Raidou, Genma, and Asuma cackled. "You guys suck as bunnies."

"Stop being bunnies. Bunnies are dumb," Iruka accused. Bunnies were dumb. He wondered why he'd never thought about how dumb bunnies were before.

"Help me up," Kakashi ordered. Raidou picked him up and guided him back to his stool. Iruka got Gai up and told him he could do the bunny-laps later.

"Annnnnnywayy, it's drunkest," Asuma persisted.

"More drunk," Iruka corrected, wondering aimlessly why he couldn't focus on one object for more than half a second.

"More drunker!" Genma sang.

That sounded right, Iruka decided.

"I want more," Kakashi mumbled, rocking precariously on his seat.

"Here," Raidou said, missing Kakashi's cup and pouring a generous amount of alcohol onto the table.

Iruka blinked. That shouldn't be happening. "I wonder why it won't go into the cup,'' he pondered aloud.

"It's weird. I don't get it," Raidou said, and kept pouring.

"I want more!" Kakashi complained.

"Shut up," Asuma slurred.

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes!"

"No!"

"You suck as a bunny!"

"I do not!" Kakashi wailed, genuinely wounded.

"It's okay, Asuma didn't mean it," Iruka assured him. Kakashi looked close to tears.

"I did too."

"Hey Raidou, the sake still won't go into his cup," Genma noted, as Raidou continued to pour the alcohol out onto the table. "That's funny!"

Gai slumped over in his seat, looking dejected.

"It's okay, Gai," Asuma said kindly. "We all know you're better at bunny-hopping than Kakashi is."

"I'm a good bunny!" Kakashi cried.

Iruka wondered briefly if the room was supposed to be spinning round and round. It probably was, he decided contentedly.

Genma looked worried. "That man's coming over to yell at us."

The bartender stomped over. "If you fellows don't mind, I'm going to close soon," he growled.

Iruka smiled politely. "Oh, we don't mind, go right ahead, we won't bother you." As he finished this sentence, the room tipped alarmingly, and he found himself looking up at the ceiling. "The ceiling moved," he informed the bartender, who thumped away, muttering angrily about "god-damn drunken ninjas, every single night."

Raidou laughed. "Nuh uh! The ceiling didn't move! You moved!"

Iruka realized that he was, in fact, sideways, and lying in someone's lap. "Who are you?" he asked, poking the person's knee.

"I am a good bunny," Kakashi said by way of response.

"Stop talking about bunnies! I hate bunnies!" Iruka complained. Really, bunnies were awful!

"I sort of like them," Genma said calmly. "All cute and fluffy."

"They have dumb ears," Iruka said crossly.

Raidou shook the sake bottle. "It's empty," he said, uncomprehendingly.

"You poured it all out, moron," Asuma said.

Raidou was puzzled.

"What time is it?" Iruka asked, dazed.

"I don't know. Late, probably."

Iruka seemed to recall he had classes to teach the next day. He yawned.

Asuma managed to light another cigarette without catching anything on fire, and Iruka still had the sense to recognize this as a very good thing. Gai had fallen asleep at the table, his face in a puddle of sake. Kakashi pouted, Genma was swaying on his stool, and Raidou was trying to drink the alcohol off the tabletop.

Kakashi had a very comfortable lap, Iruka realized. He giggled, and when he sat up, he wrapped his arms around Kakashi's waist and kissed him lightly on a mask-clad cheek.

Kakashi looked slightly surprised, and then grinned dazedly. Genma regarded them interestedly. He nudged Raidou in what he must have thought was a subtle move, but was actually one that nearly knocked the other ninja off his stool.

Raidou grinned, and then quickly kissed Genma, swiping the toothpick from his mouth.

"Hey, wha--!'

Raidou kissed him again, and this time Genma decided he quite liked being plastered beyond the boundaries of reason.

The harassed bartender glanced over at the table, did something of a double-take, and stormed over again, hollering and flapping his arms and gesturing towards the door. Iruka, once off his stool, decided he felt altogether too floppy to be standing on two feet, and promptly collapsed onto the cursing bartender.

After a laborsome few minutes and lots of pushing, shoving, general manhandling and coaxing, the bartender successfully got the intoxicated ninjas on the other side of his door.

Thankfully incapable of walking, the six of them slumped contentedly against the wall of the tavern. Iruka's face was buried in Kakashi's neck, Asuma fell asleep with a lit cigarette still dangling from his lips, Raidou, sprawled on Genma, and Gai muttered about bunnies in his sleep.