Cringe I have no idea…

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For the second time in one day, Genma woke up not knowing where he was. He thought that this was a little much. But, well.

It was dark, he was lying on a couch, or something of the sort, and there was a head resting on his leg.

"Raidou?"

The other man bolted up. "Damn, what time is it?"

"I dunno." Genma was going to assume that they were at Raidou's apartment. He was not, however, going to dwell on how this might have come to pass.

Raidou stood up, stretched, and turned on a lamp.

Genma put his fingers to his lips. "Where's my senbon?" he mumbled.

"That's the first thing you ask? You're so weird," Raidou told him. "It's over there. I took it out cause I was sure you were going to stab yourself with it in your sleep."

"I won't stab myself," Genma grumbled. "I've been doing this for a while, and no casualties yet."

"I just don't think it's a good idea to sleep with a needle in your mouth. Anyone would agree with me."

"Hand it over."

"Yeah? Come and get it then," Raidou teased, snatching the needle from the table and putting it in his mouth. "No hands allowed."

"You—" Genma sat up and lunged forward, hand raised.

"You're no fun," Raidou tsked. "If you want this needle so badly, take it." He grabbed Genma's wrists and pinned them together behind his back with one strong hand.

Genma glared for a bit, making no signs he was planning on taking up on Raidou's offer.

The two stood still there, Genma glaring stonily in response to the other man's insufferable smirk. Then Raidou jerked forward ever so slightly, so that it was nearly impossible to tell which one of them had moved, and caught Genma above the lip with the tip of the needle, drawing blood.

"Dammit, Raidou, watch it!" Genma hissed putting his hand up to his face to feel the thin gash that had appeared over his lip.

"Shit. Sorry, Genma. Didn't mean to," Raidou said, rather unconvincingly.

"D'you know what's on that thing!?"

"What?"

"It's laced with a paralyzant. Fast acting, deadly if it hits the right place!"

"Is that so? Then you're damn lucky it just got you above the lip," Raidou said, brushing a finger over the shallow cut, wiping away a bead of blood.

"You've got that right. I'm going to kill you."

"Hey, who's smart idea was it to go around with a poisonous needle in their mouth? I can't see how you're possibly blaming this on me."

"Because you—"

"I didn't do it on purpose. And how was I supposed to know the thing was laced with some freaky drug of yours?"

"Raidou, I—" but the bandana-ed ninja broke off, wheezing. "Dammit. It's working."

"Hmmm?"

"It paralyzes the area—which in this case would make ih almos impossib to talk—" Genma rasped. "And ih causes the win-pipe to constrict, so the victim can't breathe."

"Well, you're screwed."

"And if it's allowed to get into the bloodstream it—" he hacked. "It paralyzes the rest of the body. If it hits anything vital, the victim dies in under ten minutes."

Raidou whistled. "Really lucky it only broke the skin, then."

"I feel as though you fin' this amusing," Genma snarled with some difficulty.

"Oh, no way."

"Raidou, 'ucking bastar! Could ya do omething?"

"I always thought it was idiotic of you to keep that needle in your mouth at all times—but one laced with a deadly poison? Damn, Genma."

"This is not a something you need to joke about!"

"What d'you want me to do, anyway?"

"The Hokage," Genma wheezed. "She's the only one—might have antidote—" An unnatural bluish tint was spreading from the edges of the cut to the rest of his face, and he was hacking for air.

"Tsunade? I don't think so… you not going to be able to move your legs, right? And I don't want to take you; she'll rail me out about not showing up for work… and she'll probably get furious with you for doing something so stupid…"

"You're the one who—!" Genma broke off, rasping.

"Look, Genma, the facts remain that you injured yourself with a poisonous senbon you like to carry in your mouth. This doesn't look like anybody's fault but yours," Raidou said conversationally. "What to do, what to do…?" he practically sang.

"I am going to die of asphyxiation, Raidou."

"Oh, I know! Remember that time Gai tried to give that venomous snake the Nice Guy Pose and Kakashi had to suck the poison out of his thumb?" Raidou asked brightly.

Genma paled. "Oh no you don't—"

Raidou grinned evilly.

"Would you just take me to the damn 'okage…" Genma pleaded.

"No time! You're about to die of asphyxiation, after all. You've probably already gone into anaphylactic shock!" Raidou insisted.

"You so do not need to suck poison out of my face."

"Sorry, but I do."

"I can't believe this. First you poison me, 'n now you're trying to take advantage of the situation?"

"Oh, don't be such a baby."

" 'N I have not gone into anaph—" Genma broke off, hacking.

He might have tried to further deter Raidou, had he been able to breathe and/or use his vocal cords. He had to settle for wheezing and mouthing furious obscenities.

"I have absolutely no idea what you're trying to say," Raidou said cheerily. "So I'll take that as patient's consent."

Genma thought briefly about ways to injure Raidou that didn't require any bodily movement. He couldn't think of many. But then Raidou's lips made contact with his face and Genma lost all will to escape. A million thoughts shot through his muddled head.

What. The. Hell. This is definitely weird.

…And is amazing.

It's worth being poisoned, if this is what I get.

I will, however, kill Raidou as soon as I can move my arms again.

If this is really supposed to be a purely curative treatment, he's not being very convincing about it.

…But I'm definitely not complaining.

Not that I'm not entirely not pissed off that I got impaled by my own weapon and am having my temporary paralysis being taken advantage of.

But, you know.

Evidently, shamelessly taking advantage of the other man's immobility wasn't the only thing on Raidou's mind. He actually was concerned with getting the poison out of Genma's system, no matter how unorthodoxly he chose to go about it. Genma could give him that, at least. He pulled away and went to the sink to spit, and then washed out his mouth with a glass of water.

"I'm not going to die from having that stuff in my mouth, am I?" he inquired.

Genma pulled himself together enough to shake his head. "You're a bastard," he

said, though all he accomplished was a strange rasping noise. He decided it was better to take care of this end of the argument first.

"Rest your voice, Genma."

"Like hell. You 'ucking did 'at on urpose."

"What, stabbed you with your own senbon?"

"Yes!" Genma tried to yell, only managing a hardly audible squeak.

"Why would I do that?" Raidou asked innocently.

"So you could "suck out the poison" for me!"

"Listen, you would have suffocated, you said so yourself. And you liked it anyway."

Genma's face, which had begun to return to its normal color, reddened considerably. "I hate you."

"Such a shame…he doesn't even know what he's saying," said, shaking his head.

"Asshole," Genma mouthed.

"Invalid."

Genma whipped the hazardous senbon up from the floor and threw it like a dart. Raidou dodged.

"You know what'll help?" Raidou asked brightly. "Alcohol."

Genma looked dubious.

"No, really. And I don't feel like hanging around the apartment any more. Let's go to the bar."

Genma though it would be really pushing it to go back to very same bar they'd been abusing the services of the night before and expect not to have their heads knocked through the walls, but he wasn't capable of voicing this particular opinion.

"Come on." Raidou helped him up, lifted the other man's arm around his shoulders, and helped him hobble towards the door.

"…Can't even walk—" Genma muttered hoarsely.

There was still a glint of humor in Raidou's eye, but he'd lost his teasing tone for a softer one. He brushed the cut on Genma's face with his knuckle. "Rest your voice," he whispered.

Genma complied.

Um. The Raidou/Genma-ness didn't come very easily… this is what I get for trying to keep up with two pairings at once. Oh well. review?