Innocence fell over
disclaimer I don't own it
LALALALALALALALALALA!!!!!
Peach was running along, minding her own business… and several other people's who had gone on business break for the weekend… when she ran into a fire hydrant.
"Ow!" the fire hydrant screamed.
"YAY! IT'S A MAGICAL FIRE HYDRANT! MAYBE IF I RUB IT, IT WILL GIVE ME THREE WISHES!" Peach shouted.
"Would you mind not shouting… I have a back problem… and if you… well… shout… then… it hurts… and… well… you know… erm… ummm… ugh… meh…" the fire hydrant asked/stated/declared to the world in a fit of dying death and deadness.
"I HAVE A MEDICAL CONDITION CALLED CAPS LOCKITIS! I CAN'T STOP SHOUTING!" Peach screamed with horror.
The fire hydrant screamed as it's back was broken. It became paralyzed from the waist east about 12 meters and 1278.56 degrees.
"Figure that out or I give you an F!" the fire hydrant yelled.
"ZWANZIG!" Peach screamed, thinking that the fact that she could say twenty in German meant she was somehow a genius in all the Germanic studies at her high school.
"You're like… nine hundred years old Peach… why are you still going to high school?" the fire hydrant asked.
"I planned on moving to Missouri, and I hear that everyone there keeps twelve albino kids in the closet. So I figured that had a lot to do with the whole… siggy… ciggy… whatever… can I have a light?" Peach asked, pulling out a cigarette.
"Sure here…" the fire hydrant said, suddenly spurting out water. "I'VE LOST CONTROL OF ALL BODILY FUNCTION!"
The fire hydrant screamed and writhed and whatever else dogs do when you play doctor with them and decide to do cardiovascular surgery. Peach would know this, as she had done such a thing.
"Stop being such an attention hug! Let us up there!" Ness yelled, throwing his bat at Peach. He missed and impaled Peach's dog instead.
"Ow!" Mario screamed and soon fell over on top of DK, who was unable to stand the weight of the monstrous plumber.
"I heard about this in my third aid class! I know exactly what to do!" Fox yelled and ran over to DK, kicking him so hard he coughed out his small intestines in a long stream that worked its way around Bowser and strangled him, after first selling him a new car.
"Cool! New Car! Who inherits it!?" Mario asked, he soon died as a fly landed on his eye and spawned the Satan of all flies, Benjamin Franklin.
"I'm tired… I'm going to bed" Ben said and fell asleep in the dead Mario.
(Meanwhile, in innocence)
Sheik was walking along happily when she bumped into Innocence. Innocence tripped and fell over.
"No! You've ruined Innocence in our time! We're all going to get sad and stuff and die!" Captain Falcon screamed in horror, slowly getting darker and more EMO-esque clothing.
"I like candy!" Sheik yelled.
Suddenly, Sheik was surrounded by brainless zombies, so Sheik did what she always does. She blamed the horrible television shows that are hurting our children. The zombies agreed and decided to stage their own child TV show.
That failed… many Japanese children watched it and were affected and failed…
See…
Ness shot Sheik…
"Is anyone going to help me up?" Innocence asked.
"No! You're unimportant!" Yoshi yelled, doing a break dance and throwing out some gang signs and doing whatever else he thought looked cool.
"You're hired!" MTV shouted.
"Don't sell out! Get Glad instead!" Ness said.
"Ness… more like MESOPOTAMIA!" Yoshi giggled.
"I'm Young Link, and I don't endorse this message!" Link said.
"Stop faking it! You're old and you know it!" Samus screamed.
"I do too endorse that message!" Y. Link screamed.
"You're not Young! You're Y.! Stop faking it!" Samus screamed.
I'm a plastic machine… just… thought you might like to know that…
"There's a message!?" Yoshi asked.
The teacher shot Yoshi for not getting the message.
"I GET IT!" Peach screamed, causing all the space within four meters of her to be turned into Cotton Candy. Sadly, half of Innocence had now been turned into Cotton Candy.
"Ow! Can someone please hurry up and HELP ME!?" Innocence pleaded.
"Without Innocence, me and Nana will be sent to prison for first degree murder…" Popo said with tears in his eyes, stuffing Fox's corpse into a closet.
"NUUUEEEE!!! YOU KILLED MY FRIEND AND I LIKED HIM BUT NOT IN THAT WAY BUT I STILL LIKED HIM AS A FRIEND AND THAT MAKES ME SAD BUT YEAH… whatever… I'm over it" Falco said, putting on a phantom mask.
"Don't kill me!" Kirby screamed, pointing at the phantom.
A truck hit Kirby.
Pikachu popped.
"HA! That's called iro…" Kirby had a bolt of lightning strike his eye. His eye tried to get a better life in Mexico, but failed. Kirby couldn't find a new eye and gave up on life and went to a bar, where he drank some poisoned alcohol and died.
"LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!" Captain Falcon screamed.
"Oh did I win?" Peach asked, having just been cured of CAPS LOCKITIS.
"No, during surgery the doctors thought it would be funny to stick a bunch of bottle rockets in your lungs, you're going to die… right about… now" Doctor Mario said as Peach burped.
"Oh…" Doctor Mario said, looking slightly relieved.
Suddenly Peach was torn open and the bottle rockets shot everywhere, one got Doctor Mario right in the toenail. He fell over, dead.
"ZOMBIES!" France yelled, having an outbreak completely unrelated to this story.
"When the rain… falls… down…" Pichu cried… then resumed his torturous actions on Gannondorf.
"PLEASE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" Gannondorf cried as Pichu giggled and started dipping Gannondorf into coffee and coating him in anthrax.
Captain Falcon walked in, looked at the horrid moment, and walked out shaking his head.
"BEEP!" Mr. G&W shouted, as this was very important.
"That is very important…" Roy said.
Marth nodded.
"Who died and who's alive? I'm taking a head count" Marth said… not wanting to ruin the story more than it already had been.
"Ness has two heads… so does that count?" Roy said.
"No! No special privilege for the two headed man!" Marth yelled.
Ness cried and threw up over a bridge. This throw up got all over a car and the car was mad and stuff and that's the basic plot behind the movie "Cars."
"I died!" Bowser yelled.
"I died too!" Mario yelled.
People started calling out left and right… eventually they had counted DK, Mario, Bowser, Sheik, Fox, Pikachu, Kirby, Peach, and Dr. Mario.
"Why isn't anyone helping me?" Gannondorf asked in a polite manner.
"I WANNA GO TO DISNEYLAND!" Pichu shouted and stole half of the Bermuda Triangle, sticking it in Roy's pockets.
Roy disappeared.
"Buddy!?" Marth screamed in horror.
"We're not friends you sicko!" a voice that sounded oddly like Pichu yelled.
"Why are you so mean Roy!?" Marth yelled and threw a Bowflex at Popo.
Popo lived so hard he died.
"Ow!" Nana yelled and started to disappear, but then she decided she didn't care about Popo enough and became a Hooters girl instead. She was ugly though, so she had to do dishes.
"Dish do now go!" May said.
"Who are you and what have you done to Ash!?" Pikachu screamed.
"Ash was old… I'm fresh and original!" May said imitating gooey.
Or was that the other way around?
"Goo this!" Pikachu yelled and bought May a new camcorder. The camcorder had several scratches on it.
May gasped. "I can't sell this to the store at retail value anymore!" She cried and ran off into the sunset. She melted, the sun got sick of this treatment and moved to Molvacrage Andrometopia.
"What?" Marth asked.
"Twelve!" Nana shouted.
"I thought you were working at Hooters…" Marth said.
"You're IN Hooters!" Nana shouted, throwing a dish at Marth so hard it went the speed of light… BACKWARDS!
Nana got hit in the face and died.
"Boo!" Marth yelled. "Also… RECOUNT AGAIN!"
They recounted and learned that Al Gore had indeed won.
"Wrong recount!" Marth screamed.
Al Gore looked down; any happiness that had been shown on his face was actually just mascara.
"My opponent is a fag!" Bush screamed.
"He isn't your opponent anymore… he's gone back to his day job of selling his body" Marth said, having personally known Bush. (XD) (Wait… what?) (Why do people even put XD in like this? I mean seriously… it's so useless… like… oh my gosh… wtflolspasm!)
"Can we hurry up and recount!" Marth yelled, so rudely interrupting Marth.
"I was talking!" Marth yelled.
"You're ugly!" Marth yelled.
"Take that back!" Marth yelled.
"Stop being a whore!" Marth yelled.
"Well you eat stupid for breakfast!" Marth yelled.
"Your sister has staple-face eyebrows!" Gannondorf yelled, having just recovered from Pichu's torture.
Marth and Marth both looked at Gannondorf with looks that could kill if they were covered in spikes and thrown hard enough.
Pichu silently walked up and dragged Gannondorf back down to… "The Lair," which was actually just his mom's basement but she didn't mind his psychopathic torture so whatever.
Yoshi spoke out against this torture so much it caused a civil war in Armenia.
"I'm sorry to have to tell you this… but you only have several seconds to live…" Falco said reading the script to "Sad Story That Made Me Cry".
"What?" Marth asked.
A train fell from the sky and landed on Marth, sending Yoshi into a coma and Marth to France where he died from the sheer terror of it all.
"Why must you always insult us!" France cried and bought a pizza from Dominoes and some dominoes from Pizza Hut. They then got good service at Denny's.
There were wars and people died and it was fun until only Gannondorf and Pichu were left.
"Will you PLEASE just leave me alone!?" Gannondorf cried.
"'K" Pichu said and moved to Mars where he became a stockbroker.
Gannondorf then died of starvation. He wasn't the one starving, but there was starvation and it all decided to jump on top of him. He was crushed under the sheer weight of several kilograms.
"At least I died in the metric system!" Gannondorf said in an annoyingly typical anti-American spurt of Juicyfruit Gum.
Innocence then got up and brushed itself off.
"That was stupid…" Innocence said and went on its way.
Erm…
Sorry about any injuries that may have occurred by the reading of this story.
Hrmm...
R&MID!… Read and Morph Into a Dog!