Win or Lose
By Kayinay
Slightly AU in the fact that it's written that the whole Chuunin exam scene and following Sasuke arc never happened.
Hanabi refused to lose to her sister, the Hyuuga failure. But that was simple, in Hanabi's eyes. She had already beaten her weak older sister, she'd beaten her the day that their father had officially renounced her before the Hyuuga family. The day that Hinata became a Hyuuga in name and talent only, with no lineage or family behind her.
Hinata had accepted the denouncement silently, bowing to her father when he was done. She had turned and walked out the front gates of the Hyuuga mansion. Hanabi, in an uncharacteristic act of curiousity, had followed her for a minute. Just outside the gates, when they closed for the last time on the eldest Hyuuga daughter, Hinata had shed three silent tears. When those were wiped away, she turned to look at the house once more (not noticing the hidden Hanabi) and then walked away.
That was six years ago. Hanabi hadn't seen her since.
Hanabi had never defeated her cousin, the prodigy Neji, but she considered this point null and void now. Hand-to-hand, chakra-to-chakra, Neji, who was still considered to be the most powerful Hyuuga currently living—and probably in all time—had always beaten Hanabi.
But it didn't matter anymore, because he was a Branch member of the family, and he served her now. When she, the future head of the Hyuuga clan, walked into a room, he always had to stand and bow in servitude, along with everyone else.
At fourteen years old, she could be considered beautiful—with her long, straight black hair, lavender eyes, and well-toned body—but she had never grown out of being a puppet and her eyes reflected a lack of spirit—more so than any other Hyuuga eyes. She never struck up conversations, she barely conversed as it was. She was smart. Hanabi could memorize and analyze things at an incredible speed, but she wasn't very knowledgeable about people or emotions, having little or no interaction with anyone.
After Hinata had been rejected from the Hyuuga clan, she'd been the talk of the village for weeks—sweet, kindly, shy Hinata was no longer part of the Hyuugas. Two months later, Hanabi graduated the academy at the tender age of barely nine. Talk turned to the new "prodigy" of the Hyuugas.
Hanabi was preparing for the Jounin exams now.
Hanabi refused to lose to anyone. Even with a noticeable lack of spirit, she was refused to bring shame upon the family by losing. Death would be better.
She stood with the others, all older than her by anywhere from four to fourteen years, listening with rapt attention as the Hokage himself explained how the test would go. It was just as Hanabi had expected, down to the last jutsu used.
But, at the end of the speech, she was shocked to her core. The third Hokage was explaining that there were medical nin present at all times in case of emergency, going as far as to introduce them.
Hanabi, for the first time in six years, gazed upon her weak elder sister. Hyuuga Hinata stood among the five medical nin that were present. Hinata stood with them companionably, waving her hand a little when she was introduced. She had a polite smile on her face, but she looked slightly preoccupied.
Unnoticed, Hanabi watched her sister. Years of apathy towards her sister lay heavier than ever. The anger had faded when Hinata had left the family, leaving a hallow feeling that ate at the younger Hyuuga worst than the anger had. She'd cultivated the apathy, however, to fight against that.
Before the first tests began, the worst happened. Hinata spotted her sister amongst the ranks. Hanabi, to her everlasting shame, had tried to hide nonchalantly behind some of the taller, broader contestants, but had seen a blonde boy point her out to a shocked Hinata.
Hinata took three steps towards her estranged little sister. Hanabi caught her eye, sending her a glare that literally stopped her in her tracks. A look passed across her face, one that spoke volumes. Hinata, weak, caring Hinata, was hurt to the core by Hanabi's rejection.
The Jounin exams ended that day, with Hanabi graduating along with six others in the group. She had pointedly looked away when Hinata had been called upon to heal one unfortunate contestant, deeming it beneath her to watch a former Hyuuga.
That night, she was treated to a servile bow and murmured "Congratulations" from the servants and Branch members, even Neji, who had never risen above Chuunin purely because he was not allowed to. From her father, she received a rare nod of recognition for her hard work.
There was no celebration, as she knew many were doing, no grand dinner or party. That night, she sparred with Neji, like she always did.
Neji lost, commanded as he always was, to lose.
Hanabi had never beaten Neji, not when he was really fighting.
But now, thinking back on her hard work and long hours spent practicing kunai throws and chakra control, the forced talent that resulted from those exercises, her silent obedience to her father. Thinking about how she had no friends, neither her age or those amongst her rankings. Noticing, harshly, that the villagers, the other ninjas, and even the servants that called her "Mistress," went out of their way to avoid her. That she was engaged to someone that would bring honor to the clan, yet had never met. That she wasn't allowed to do anything beyond what was expected of her and the Hyuugas. Now, for the first time ever, she wondered if she had even won compared to her sister, who'd managed to escape from all of that.