A/N: Wow...I haven't updated my fanfic in a while...but I really felt like writing a oneshot...soo here it is. :). It also features a poem I wrote that you can read on the website provided as my homepage in my profile and review along with my other poems and such. That's where I got the idea for this one shot anyway...so without further ado, scroll down and enjoy! (Oh, and this is dedicated to DarkHope, a really great friend of mine!)
11/18/12 EDIT: Changed the ending a bit, because I thought it was a little too mushy... but it's still relatively the same! Thanks guys!
Disclaimer: Obviously I don't own Naruto...but I own this oneshot :P
-::-::-
"Anticipated Answers"
Why does it hurt when I know I can't have you?
Why does my heart continue to beat faster,
When I see you?
When will my mind be at ease again?
Why can't you see what your doing to me?
Why do tears fall when I know it's hopeless to cry?
When can I ever allow myself to accept the truth,
When the truth will only cause more pain?
Why is there such a thing as love?
Why can't it see my insides twisting unnaturally?
When will I be able to breathe again?
When will I be able to love you without it being one-sided?
Why do you look at me that way?
Why do you torment my heart in desirable yet undesirable ways?
When will I be free from this nonsense of an emotion?
When will you love me back?
Naruto
One Shot
"Anticipated Answers"
By: darkdreamerx
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"Sakura-chan…why do you always refuse me?" Azure orbs sorrowfully glanced at said girl, watching in anxious silence, as the question lingered amid the crisp air. It was in the midst of fall; ambiance adding to his unhappiness. He only waited a few moments before hushed words spoke from his teammates' lips.
"I can't really answer that…Naruto." Fear rose in her heart as she turned her eyes slowly, resting on the crestfallen blonde. His muscles were tense; she could easily see the protruding veins under exposed arms. Mouth concealed in a small frown and posture remaining sluggish. She hadn't meant to hurt him with that statement, and she realized again, for the umpteenth time, he was still foolishly in love. Her mind followed by the same thought each time; why? Yet who was she to judge how foolish his love really was? Was she not the foolish one, to have been in love with the same boy whom would never reciprocate her feelings, no matter how deeply she felt for him? It was…a cruel world indeed.
"…am I not good enough for you?" His lip quivered in undesired motion.
The kunoichi stiffened; he believed her a Goddess! "Naruto! Don't say that!"
"Why not…? It's true isn't it…" His eyes were void of emotion as he stared blankly at her. He felt empty, cold; distraught with pain.
Sakura stared back, studying him with saddened eyes. It took every ounce of self-control she had acquired in her years of harsh training to refrain herself from breaking down. The sight bleeding into her eyes clawed itself throughout her body as it viciously stuck it's fangs into her overwhelmed heart.
"…you couldn't be more wrong, Naruto." Sakura's eyes hardened slightly as she took a short breath. "It really has nothing to do with you…"
The roseate haired girl's statement burned livid emotion back into the shinobi's dull eyes. "That's my point! I don't even seem to matter to you, Sakura-chan!"
Fists clenched as raw feelings poured through his flashing orbs.
"Every time I ask you-anything-you look at me with pity and say "I'm sorry Naruto…I can't right now." Well when are you going to be able to?! I mean, it's not like you still love Sasuke-teme! I could tell by the way you show no more then any normal teammates' concern for him! Who then, who is stopping you from being with me?! Who!"
Sakura visibly cringed under Naruto's scrutiny; she didn't have a worthy answer for any of his demanding inquiries.
"…."
"Answer me damn it!"
"N-Naruto…it's…it's complicated," she started.
"What's so complicated about who you love?" Naruto retorted, successfully cutting Sakura's feeble answer to his demand short. He was writhing now; he was never this angry at her. He could tell by the way she was failing to look him in the eyes, her head cast downward as proof.
He could feel her fear.
"….I'm sorry." It was a simple utterance and Sakura's ears heard clearly. She allowed herself to lift her jade pools heavenward, her head following suite. The Kyuubi vessel noticed her eyes contained less fear and watched as her lips curved into a slight smile; barely a slight smile.
"I'm sorry I can't answer you." Lingering her eyes on him for a few moments more, then turning to leave she added, "I wish I was good enough for you…"
Azure orbs widened in pure shock, and he clumsily sputtered seconds later. "S-Sakura-chan! W-Wait!" Before the last word rolled off his lips, she had stopped, her body half towards him. Naruto stared at her profile, awaiting her voice.
"What?" she asked quietly.
"What did you mean…?"
She laughed lightly, earning a befuddled look from her teammate. She slowly shifted her body to face him again, bemused. He just didn't understand how much she didn't deserve his affections; she was certainly unworthy. He chose her, of all people, to dote upon and yet his feelings would never be returned, just as hers were forever unrequited with the one she loved. "Look for someone who deserves your love, Naruto. Look for someone who will feel just as strongly for you as you do for them. Look for someone who would love you for who you are, cry for you; die for you. Look for someone who you know you can spend the rest of your life with, and be truly happy. And when you find that someone, that person will be the one you love…without a doubt." She bid him farewell with a small wave of her hand before opting to continue her leave.
"Sakura-chan…you've found that someone?" He stopped her yet again.
"I have not," she whispered.
"Are you still looking?"
"…"
"Sakura-chan…?" Naruto pressed.
"…no," the kunoichi finally answered, her voice sounding hoarse. Her eyes widened as she quietly cleared her throat; there was a lump? She realized her eyes were beginning to burn as a reopened wound enveloped her body. Not now, she can't break now.
"Who do you love?" It was a repeated inquisition, but Naruto had not received a legitimate answer. If that wasn't a good enough reason, curiosity sure was. His gaze did not falter from her back, watching her composure slip as her shoulders quivered for a second; restoring to their rigid posture instantaneously.
A zephyr managed to ease the building cloud of tension, thick with scarcely enough oxygen to sustain a few breaths of life. The wind was cruel, pricking the duo's bare arms.
Onyx pools trailed across the layer of rustling trees, the owner possessing an expressionless gaze. One poorly bandaged arm was bleeding profusely, droplets of vibrant crimson trailing behind with each step taken forward. The wounded figure was negligent; his battered arm ignored. His eyes narrowed in abhorrence as familiar voices emanated in front of him. A clearing was apparent as he neared, and although he would never admit it, he was curious. Secluding himself behind a large tree a short distance from the voices, his charcoal orbs sought the sources. A passing wave of rare shock leaked into his expression as he laid eyes on the scene before him: the other two members of team 7 were standing in front of him.
Sasuke's orbs greedily drank the picture in; Naruto was standing a few feet away from Sakura, though her back was turned to him. The location the Uchiha prodigy was currently in allowed himself to view the front of the medical ninja. Her anguished features were contorted, her eyes cast towards his left. She seemed to be in deep thought, before he noticed her take a shallow breath and bring her eyes forward, falsely staring at him.
"It doesn't really matter at all, honestly." She smiled sadly, a picture of someone flashing through her mind quickly.
"Sakura-chan…do you still…" the blonde shinobi trailed off, almost missing the answer with a shake of her head. Yet, for some unknown reason, his instincts told him otherwise. "…still love Sasuke?" At the sound of his name, she cringed. Why was he asking her this question? After everything she pretended to feel, everything she hid from them, why…why did he have to open her heart to fall to pieces, again?
"I…"
"…you do," he said bluntly.
"N-No! I-I mean…"
"…just admit it."
"But I…it's….oh Naruto! You don't understand how complicated this is!" She pivoted, desperately looking at him in fresh tears. "I've-I've been lying all this time! I never stopped loving Sas-Sasuke…I only pretended! It was so hard to stop showing my concern for him! It was even hard for me to stop using the suffix on his name! …I-I cried for so many nights, wishing, hoping,believing he would return my feelings! But I should have known it was pitiful, that it was stupid! But c-can you blame me," she cried breathlessly, her body now trembling. She clutched her heart shamefully as she stared into his blue depths. "I couldn't bear to show unrequited affection! It hurt so much already, I was so tired, so alone…Naruto! I know how you feel…a-and I'm so sorry that…that…" Sakura significantly collapsed as she sobbed to herself miserably.
Naruto stared with open eyes as he soaked up every remark, shout, cry; she had thrown at him only seconds before. He was at a loss for words.
"…." Even his mind could not comprehend coherent thoughts. He was glued to watching her vulnerable body shake with each whimper she did not arrest, easily escaping her quaking lips. Her naked arms fell to her lap as she tightened her fists against the creamy fabric of her uniform sarong. Teardrops fell to her knuckles, trailing in little rivulets through the crevices between her fingers. Pink hair cascaded over her hunched shoulders, framing her high cheek bones. Labored breathing parted moist lips, however, the blonde's visibility of her face was only spilled strands, blinding her expression from him.
"S-Sakura-chan," his voice was low, "Don't cry." Pleadingly, he added, "…please."
"Sas-Sasuke….Sasuke-kun…he can't find o-out Naruto…." She inhaled sharply. "DON'T TELL HIM NARUTO!"
The volume of her voice produced a wince from the entrusted. Frightened by her outburst, he managed to whisper timidly, "Why…?" Though he already knew why.
"…because," she choked, "…the friendship I have with him now…it-it's so precious. He talks to me more…a-and he doesn't think I'm weak any longer…something I've wanted for so long…I won't let this interfere with everything I've worked for! I slaved tirelessly to be worthy in his eyes…and now that I am…I-I won't let my heart destroy it!" Finally lifting her glistening emerald eyes to meet Naruto's gaze, she bit her lip. If her heart was to be forever broken, she'd allow it. The kunoichi would do anything, everything in her power to stabilize the friendships she cherished; Uchiha Sasuke's was the most important to her.
As if inspired by her words, azure pools brightened and a curving of lips followed suite. "It's alright Sakura-chan. I understand."
Stunned with his noble statement, she wore an expression of bewilderment. "What-"
"Don't worry." He was smiling so brightly for her, so beautifully. Weak legs carried her body off the ground, bringing her towards him with small steps.
"Naruto…" She halted a little ways from him, eying his unchanging grin. "…you do?"
"Hai. I feel the same about…" He chuckled.
"…?"
"You, Sakura-chan." She stiffened. "But it's alright, because that's why I want our friendship as strong as it is now…more than anything…it means the world to me. Can you forgive me for stepping out of line?" Dimmed orbs mirrored his light question.
"Of course," she answered softly.
"Arigato, Sakura-chan." Then, he released a breath of air as he felt her body against him, arms encircling his neck. "Sak-"
"No, t-thank you Naruto." She smiled into his chest as he slowly brought his arms around her waist. "P-promise me you won't tell h-him, please…" Her voice was shaky.
"I promise." The Kyuubi vessel used a large hand to pat the top of Sakura's head gently.
"Promise on o-our friendship…"
"I promise on our friendship I won't tell him." With both hands now placed on her shoulders, he pulled her away from him somewhat, a broad grin plastered amid his face. "Now dry your tears." So what if he lied about his understanding? Without a doubt, Sakura did not deserve more pain. His feelings would have to be buried underneath the surface and instead, heed Sakura's example to remain fake. Her heart was unavailable, and he would not try to convince her otherwise. His thoughts abruptly ended when she spoke again; serenity laced her voice.
"You're a wonderful friend Naruto." And barely giving his name enough time to leave her lips, she flashed a genuine smile. The arms wrapped around his neck dissipated and returned to their normal positions, adjacent to her sides. She exhaled a breath she seemed to have kept through her occurrence, then took in a deeper, longer, fresh one.
He threw her another smile, yet a bit forced this time.
"Are you still ready to train? That was the reason we came here anyway…" To keep her mind off of him that was her only answer. Something she had learned from the prodigy himself; you can take frustration and anger out in sparring. Uzumaki Naruto possessed a different approach though.
"….why don't you ask Sasuke-teme to train? I'm kind of hungry and I think I'm going to go to Ichiraku's now."
It was an excuse. She knew it.
"Oh…alright. Well, I'll go there after I'm done then. I don't think I'll find Sasuke…but I'll manage."
She went a long nevertheless.
"Well I'll see you later Sakura-chan!" He turned away from her, shoving his hands in his large pockets heading in the direction of the town. Sakura wordlessly stared at his back, not even realizing she hadn't bid him goodbye. Her mind was elsewhere, replaying everything it accumulated prior to their farewell. She'd discharged her deepest kept secret. A small sigh slipped past her lips. Usual vibrant jade dulled as Naruto's silhouette merged into the horizon.
"He's upset," she whispered. Her inner conscious agreed. "…such a wonderful, wonderful friend though…" She swallowed the lump lodged in her throat and took her leave, walking towards the disheartening forest. Tears were useless; what good had they shown her before? The numerous times the burning reached her irises, she'd felt lifeless. Dead, alone, cold. The wished forgotten memories scathed her vision again, internally.
Obsidian spheres watched her every move, every unintentional step she took toward him. Her footing was clumsy; she stumbled over an upturned root hardly catching herself. Her eyes were unfocused, darting every which way. Expression contorted manifestation; a movie of different emotions played before him. He almost missed a single tear daintily trickle down the left side of her face, almost.
Haruno Sakura was within an arm-lengths range, so a pale hand shot out.
A startled cry weaved through the desolate trees as a wrist was pulled. In the instant pressure was felt against her back and front, she knew she was in danger. Fear smashed against her nerves and in her adrenaline, she screamed. Though it was quickly muffled as a hand pressed against her lips somewhat rudely.
"Sakura…" He felt her moist cheek under his palm. Emerald widened at the sound of the voice.
She looked up at him in awe, as if seeing the ethereal beauty for the first time. Uchiha Sasuke's features were empty, but only she could sense the tidbit of concern wavering his composed eyes. His hair masked his perfect forehead delicately, falling over his ears just enough to shape his face in a unpretentious manner. Parched lips were set straight, seemingly abhorring verbatim. It was then she realized she was against the trunk of a tree, noting Sasuke's hand still roughly grasping her wrist by the side of her abdomen.
The hand on her mouth loosened considerably. "Why were you crying?" he asked suddenly.
Taken aback she muttered a low, "I-I wasn't." With her free hand she intended to wipe her eyes, but Sasuke's right arm caught her before it was halfway near its' destination. She blinked profusely and disorientment was evident on the visible parts of her face. What was Sasuke doing she asked herself, confused. Why was he acting so different; like a completely different person?
"Sas-"
Red. She noticed red on his arm.
"Sasuke…?" There was crimson blood dripping from a ineptly wrapped gash onto the dirt near her feet. From what her medic skills informed her of, it was hazardous. She darted her eyes back to his and noticed the questioning arch in his eyebrows. "Your arm-!"
"It doesn't concern you."
"But Sasuke, the wound is deep! Let me heal you." Her voice was firm but he ignored her intelligence.
"No." He did not remove his hands from her. Jade pools showed a glimpse of hurt, but was hastily replaced by vigor.
"Please Sasuke…let go of me so I can heal you!" Surely, he knew the intensity of the wound. Surely, he was not that egotistical.
"You're annoying," he said indifferently.
Sakura froze. "…." And when she opened her mouth to speak, words failed her. He hadn't said that to her in so long. Why was he acting that way, without caring. Usually he allowed her to heal his wounds; it was her job nonetheless! He had not protested for almost a year, why now all of a sudden? Developing tears stung at the whites of her eyes, but she blinked them back harshly. She was not weak. She did not show emotion. Especially not in front of him. And just as she was about to clarify her potency, he released her arms gently.
"Heal it," he said, destroying her incentive. His voice still contained disinterest, but he backed away and extended the bloody arm toward her. Forgetting the hurt she previously felt, Sakura relaxed her posture as she left the trunk of the tree and began the process of healing.
Her adept fingers worked quickly, mending first the broken radius with new bone marrow and then restoring ligaments. Sasuke watched her in moderate interest. He felt her chakra enter his body just like all the other times she had healed him; but there was a new sensation resounding through his body he could not describe.
Her eyes fixated on the ulna next; a chip was present and also needed her practiced hands. It didn't take long for new bone tissue to form. She repaired any other ligaments or even tendons torn in the process, for muscles were slightly ripped as well . Overall, the wound was fairly easy to heal, using barely a quarter of the medical ninja's power. Her hypothesis was he'd been wounded by the sword he carried on his back.
"Done," she said softly, bequeathing him with a small smile. She dropped her hands from him as he lowered his arm to his side.
"Sakura…" His blood was smudged on her fingertips and he did not approve of it.
She looked at him expectantly. "Hai?" Her expression shifted to surprise as he tore a tiny piece of black sleeve off his attire. Grabbing her hands in his, he silently rubbed the blood off her fingers in gentle, circular motions.
Blushing, Sakura gaped at him. "Sas-Sasuke you d-don't-"
"Hn." He paid no heed to her stuttering lips and finished his task unperturbed. The flustered kunoichi quieted herself with a brusque intake of air. He was simply wiping the blood…his blood off her, no need have a fracas. After his hands left hers she felt frigid.
"Ano…Sasuke," she started awkwardly, but he managed to clamp her tongue without actually doing so.
"You haven't answered my question yet."
"W-What question?"
"Why were you crying?" There was a softness in his tone, onyx depths mirroring his voice. She was unaware he already knew why.
"Sasuke I really wasn't-"
"Tell me." She shook her head lightly. She would never tell him why she was crying; ever.
"You were talking with that dobe."
She spoke too soon.
A bolt of fear shocked her to the point of unconsciousness. "Y-You saw?"
"Hn," he grunted.
"E-Everything?" Her eyes were amplified with realization. "I-Is that why you've been…a-acting weirdly?" She felt nauseous; Sasuke knew of her secret. The secret that kept her sanity in check, the secret she swore her life by. If her confidential was known, her sanity would no longer be accessible. "S-Sasuke…it…it's not like that a-anymore...I l-lied to Naruto!"
"You're lying to me now," he said angrily. His stoic expression was unnerving and he stepped closer to the horrified girl. Unknown to her, tears spilt from her eyes like gushing waterfalls.
"Sasuke don't come near me!" she cried out, increasing the distance between their bodies. Only realizing too late that in doing so, her back was once again plastered to the tree. Appalled, the pink haired kunoichi turned to run, but to her displeasure Sasuke caught both her shoulders, trapping her against the bark. She gasped.
"Why are you frightened?" It was a blunt question, but he asked it with ennui. The genius watched as a whimper escaped her lips and she turned her head away. Disturbed by her actions, his eyes gleamed with uncommon warmth.
"…b-because!" she choked out. Not only was she weak, but she was so deathly afraid of him that her own body betrayed her, clearly shaking! And he could feel it too.
"You have nothing to be afraid of, Sakura." His voice was calm, laced with sincerity. Her head betrayed her too as it shifted to allow her stinging eyes to meet his unwavering gaze. She felt the heat rise in her cheeks as she tried her best to keep focused.
"I-I'll forget about you…Sasuke." Her strangled tone was barely a whisper. "I promise…" Jade orbs left onyx pools to instead stare at the serene ground. She noticed the grip on her shoulders loosen, and felt his hands trail down to her back. "Sas-" He pulled her forward, letting her hit his muscular chest roughly, pressing her against him. He felt her trembling, felt her stiffen, her body not responding to his embrace.
What was he doing?
"-!" Haruno Sakura felt nauseous; her mind could hardly comprehend his actions. Hardly at all. It was one thing to voice little concern, but to hug her as tightly as he was now? It was just ludicrous! Was he going to pretend this never happened…just forget everything after his odd display of affection?
"Sakura…why do you still love me?" Like moments before, her body was unyielding. She closed her eyes against his torso, further tears spilling down her cheeks. Was he trying to rip her heart from her chest? Because he was doing a wonderful job. And when his grip tightened, silently asking for her reply, her heart nearly shattered in two.
"…..I….I…..I-I just do! You have no idea-you mean everything to me, Sasuke!" There; her mind, body, and soul just flowing out to him. But did he even care?
Silence was normal for them; this silence killed. Bracing herself for a letdown, she tightly secured her eyes beneath thick lashes.
"…everything?" His voice was daft.
"Everything," she repeated hoarsely. Just then, his bone-crushing hug subsided. She knew he was too apathetic to concern himself with her.
Only to be replaced by a pair of lips pressing roughly against her quivering ones.
"-Mmmfh?!" The kunoichi's eyes were wide as saucers now, gaping at the closed, delicate curtain of lashes tickling her crimson cheeks. The sensation was nowhere near what her lips felt, trembling at the intensity of his upon hers. Was she dreaming? Was The Uchiha Sasuke actually kissing her? It was so surreal she almost fainted. And even if she had, his strong arms would be there to catch her. The thought made her smile against his mouth.
He felt her smile and his heart melted, the frozen sheets of ice washing away as warmth enveloped his heart, a vast fire burning within him. He gently pulled back, resting his forehead against hers, hazily panting. He was lost in a trance, mesmerized by her dazed eyes gazing back into his. She was beautiful, he concluded. Silence shrouded the two, but neither cared, the company of each other calming their anxious hearts. After taking a few quick breaths, Sakura suddenly wrapped her arms around his neck and pushed her lips on his again. They were aching for his touch.
Giving her just as much fervor, he kissed her back passionately, their lips parting in unison to taste each other's ardor. Static electricity shot through Sakura's body, making her gasp inadvertently. Sasuke smirked and licked her bottom lip, causing a pleasurable shudder throughout her body, before reentering her mouth again. She regained her composure and their tongues danced for minutes, both in pure bliss.
After reluctantly parting, Sasuke drew in a labored breath, feeling his own cheeks reddening. As he allowed her to lean into the crook of his neck, he let a small smile grace his burning lips. She was his everything too. He felt her chest rise and fall with each intake of air, numbly wondering what she was thinking.
Sakura released her hold, stepping away from him, wanting to fixate her vibrant jade eyes at the reason for her existence. The love of her life. She couldn't help but beam, berating herself for being so foolish a little while ago. Even though Sasuke spoke not a word about his feelings, she knew what he felt. Only she would know, she knew him best after all. Her heart was ecstatic as she watched him, her unrequited love no longer present. Looking at him now, his stoic expression and stolid body, save for the small blush coloring his typical pale face, one would fail to see what's past his cold demeanor. But he was different, more than anyone could possibly imagine. And he was hers, and she would keep him sane.
As if remembering something, her gaze faltered, her eyes searching for something in the depths of her acquitted mind. "Oh! I'm supposed to meet Naruto at Ichiraku now! Sasuke-k-kun, do you wan-haa-!"
The prodigy grabbed her to him as he wrapped his muscular arms tightly around her helpless body. He leaned near her ear and she shivered involuntarily at the brush of his lips.
"Sakura," he breathed, "you're annoying..."
Then kisses were trailed down her jawline, and a scarlet hue stained her cheeks while her already flustered face intensified. She couldn't help but smile, for his words didn't matter...
He felt the same.
-Fin.
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A/N: Yay, the ending is more relevant now... Review if you like it! And of course, if you love SasuSaku (; I also apologize for hurting Naruto...completely not my intention. I love him so much, more than Sasuke... but he'll be okay though, he's the future hokage, of course ^_^!
-darkdreamerx