Teen titans and villains belong to Control Freak, 'nuff said.
(The intro music to teen titans plays)
(A/N: And the story starts here)
it was a beautfil day in jump city. The sun was shining and the flowers and everything was out, and it was one of those happy happy days in which nothing happens. Up in the observatory thing that belonged to the foundation villains, they were spending time chilling.
Valentine is making zombies or whatever evil magic, Freeze is chilling, D' and Terra are playing video games trying to beat each other. Lucky Clover also is sleeping nearby.
Mr. Freeze gets up "Let's go rob a bank" he says.
Everyobdy goes "okay!!!"
since valnetine isn't in the same room as the other 3, they go to valentine's factory where she is making zombies.
"Hey valnetine, were going to rob a bank, go warp us there." freeze ordered, because he is the boss.
"Yeah." The other two guys go.
Valnetine huffed, "no wai, I'm too busy making zombies."
"that's an order." freeze ordered.
"Fine." Valentine said.
meanwhile, on the edge of the city, a man wandered in, head turned down with a hood over his head.
Back to the foundation, they had warped to the bank and scared everybody off with their superpowers (or for valentine, her zombie soldiers that were armed with laser guns (A/N: They should have laser guns. Their cooler.)
so anwways, after they stole everything out of the vault (A/N: Actually, do they rob banks? They usually don't, do they? Well, they do in my story) the front doors of the bank blew in.
Out of the smoke the teen titans stood idiotically (with their smarmy poses and everything. Starfire's hot)
"WERE TAKING YOU DOWN FREEZE!!!!!" Robin shouted.
"NO WERE GONNA BEAT YOU!!!!!" Freeze shouted back.
"TITANS GO!!!!" Robin shouted.
"ATTACK!!!!" Freeze shouted back.
Freeze shot his ice, and Valentine got her zombies to start shooting and terra threw rocks and stuff. Devil Hand punched people or something. The titans, on the other hand, robin threw his boomerang things and beast boy turned into a gorilla and started fighting, and raven and starfire started shooting with their powers. (A/N: Yeah, starfire's REALLY hot)
"Kuso!!!!!" Valnetine swore as she watched her side loss. Cuz they suck.
It looked like they were really going to lose this time, when all of a sudden, the ceiling exploded.
"What was that?!??!" Robin shouted smoke went everywhere. Out of the smoke, a man stood up.
He had firey orange hair and dark handsome rings under his eyes, and he was something like six feet, and he had tough muscles and handsome face, and he had an exquisitely designed brown trenchcoat that was frayed from constant use, which fluttered in the wind, and he had this red plated shirt that had black highlights (A/N: Just think of the armor Archer uses in Fate/Stay Night) and these pants with really wicked flame designs on them. Holstered all over his waist were a bunch of black devices.
"who are you?!!?" Robin shouted to this new guy.
"You fools! You dare challenge me!" the new guy went.
Cyborg went "booyah" around here and shot him with his lasergun, but the new guy used his remote control and made it stop in mid-air! Robin was like, "HOW DID YOU DO THAT!?" but the new guy used another remote and froze them all.
"I will be merciful this time, but be sure to leave these guys alone." The new guy said, but not before winking at Starfire, who blushed.
"What do you want from us?" Freeze asked suspiciously.
"I need your help." The new guy said, before he teleported everybody back to the foundation HQ.
"omg he is sooooo KAWAII!!!!" valentine said blissfully at the new guy.
"So who are you and what do you want from us?" freeze asked.
"I have many names, but you may call me Control Freak. I need ur help to help me find the dangerous shadows cystrals of power. I came from another dimension to try and get them back before something bad happens."
"I dont trust you." Freeze said, but he was actually jealous of Control Freaks powers since they were cooler than his.
"Come on, freezie-kun, He's alrright!!!!!" Valnetine said.
"Fine he can stay, but i still don't trust him." freeze said.
That night, Devil Hand picked a fight with Control Freak, but he won because his kung fu powers were a lot better htan Devil Hands. The next day, the group went to the dessert nearby the city.
"I sense one of those crystals nearby. Let's go get it!!!!" Control Freak said.
"Whatever. I'll get it before you do." Mr. Freeze said back nastily, because he is so very jealous of Control Freak.
So Freeze went off by himself, while valentine went with Control Freak, and D' and Terra went somewhere as well, and they all looked for the crystal.
"Control Freak, why are you looking for these crystals anyways?" Valentine asked.
"Those crystals destroyed my home world, and I am the only survivor!!!! I am all alone, and it it my job to get my revenge on those crystals. I have lost everything!" Control Freak said mournfully.
Valentine was sad, too.
Eventually, Freeze found the crystal first, stuck on on high rock.
"Yes!!!! If I find the crystal first, I can make Control Freak look stupid" Freeze snickerd to himself as he went for the crystal, but it was too high. All of a sudden, the teen Tiatns revealed themselves:
"Ah-ha! We knew you were really after the crystals so we set a trap! Titans go!" Robin shouted.
All the titans attacked with their powers, overwhelming Freeze. But before they could capture him, Control Freak and valentine appeared.
"Leave this to me, Val! I'll save Freeze!" Control Freak said.
"Titan's go!" Robin shouted again. This made Cyborg, Raven, and Beastboy attack Control Freak, but he used his super laser beams to blast them away.
(A/N: these laser beams could have ripped thru the fabrik of reality, you know. Just that Control Freak decided not to at that point.)
"Freeze! Get the crystasl! Ill hold them off!" Control Freak shouted.
"Right!!!!!" Freeze shouted back. Jumping up, freeze got the crystal. They began to run away. "I'll go after them!" Starfire shouted, and chased after Control Freak and the others. But they had already teleported away because of Valentine, but Control Freak stayed behind.
"I dont want to fight u!!" Control Freak pleaded. Starfire was confused, but she continued to try and fly and shoot Control Freak. But Control Freak has a special power that allowed him to reflect all the shots with a special sheild, blasting starfire back instead. Before she fell to the ground, Control Freak flew through the air and caught her in mid air. Starfire blushed and asked "Why did you save me?"
"Because I dont want to fight u" Control Freak said quietly. Starfire blushed harder. Control Freak also told her of his tragic past, and how he had to find the crystals.
"So were doing the wrong thing then!!!!!" starfire realized. "Don't worry Control Freak!!!!! I'll tell robin that hes making amistake fighting you, since ur doing the rite thing!!!!" starfire said.
"thank you for helping me" Control Freak said. He then returned back to the foundation base.
"thankyou for saving me!!!! I trust u now!!!! ur now part of the team!!!!" Freeze said.
That night, they all played videogames. Control Freak was the best in them all.
The next day, they teleported themselves to the beach.
"a crystal is buried here somwhere. Help me find it!!!!" Control Freak said. So they split up and started looking for it. All of a sudden, the titan's car showed up, and the titans came out.
"Titans go! We wont let you get those crystals!" Robin shouted. He didn't listen to starfire because he thoguht he was right.
"No!!! WE have to protect Control Freak and let him complete his quest!!!!" Mr. Freeze shouted. Everyubody else was like "Alright!!!!!"
They all fought very hard, robin through his boomerangs and freeze shot his ice and valentine shot with her zombies and d punched stuff and terra thru rocks and cyborg went booyah and shot stuff and beastboy transformed and stuff.
But where was starfire?!?!?!?!
The foundation and Control Freak began to be pushed back by the titans and their powers, when all of a sudden starfire shot at her own teammates!!!!!"
"OMG! Starfire what are u doing!?" robin shouted angerily!!!!!
"Control Freak is more of a man then u will ever be!!! I will help him!!!!!" starfire said.
"Traitor!!!!!" robin shouted.
With Control Freak and starfire working together, they were able to make the titans go away. All the foundation guys celebrated with pizza and made starfire another member.
The next day they all teleported somwhere in the city.
"There is one more cyrstal in the city. Help me find it!!!!" Control Freak said.
All the guys started looking for the crystal on the streets, but the titans showed up again.
"Titans go-"
"THIS IS BLASPHEMY! THIS IS MADNESS!"
Those present in the virtually uninhabited streets turned to look at the sudden intruder.
Down a block or so, a man stood. He was clad predominately in black and white, unlike the various skittles that were the Titans or the Foundation, or even Control Freak. He wore form-fitting black pants that terminated abruptly into a pair of like-wise hued boots. Though his white and completely zipped jacket looked looser, the sleeves still clung to the shape of his skinny arms with many crinkles, with hands that wore fingerless gloves. Most bizarre of all, though, was the mask he wore. It looked like an oversized bandanna, tails of excess fabric trailing down to the lanky man's ankles, while the head cloth was pulled down to the bridge of the man's nose. Little eye holes were made apparent by the man's almost florescent blank eyes that looked through rather cheerfully. In his wide grin a long black toothpick was clenched.
"Alright! I'm sorry! 300 is overused, but I couldn't help it and- DON'T HURT ME!"
The man wailed and ducked down, covering his head with his hands.
Control Freak frowned, "And who are you supposed to be!? I don't recall you ever being in my story!"
The man raised his head with a rather accusing, though still comical look, "Your story? This is my story! I had to self-insert myself back into my own story! How humiliating is that! This my story! THIS IS SPAR- Oh, wait. Sorry."
At that, Control Freak, still looking rather muscular and suave as he described himself, attempted to make all sorts of intimidating martial arts stances, "Do you know who I am!? I am the Master of Monsters! The Terror beyond your greatest imagination! The Manliest Man Alive! CONTROL FREAK! Fear my Swan! Tiger! Dragon! Flying Sword!"
The supposed original writer of the story also power posed, "Do you know who I am!? I am the Crazy Canadian! The Purveyor of Love and Justice! The Obliviously Untouchable! PERSON WITH MANY ALIASES! Tremble before my Swan! Monkey! Drunkard! Champuru Kendo!"
"Hwah!"
"Aiiie!"
"Hyah!"
"Bwah!"
Control Freak backed away, sweating in nervousness at the miraculous and awe-inspiring techniques performed by his latest arch-nemesis. He quickly turned to the Teen Titans, who were currently in a vegetative, zombified state due to the neglect of proper characterization by Control Freak.
"My minions! This man wants to steal my crystals! Help me stop him!"
"BOOYAH!!!!" Cyborg said.
"TITANS GO!!!" Robin shouted.
"AZARETH METRION ZINTOS LOL!!!" Raven chanted.
"DUUUUDE!!!" Beastboy said before turning into a trex.
"FOR CONTROL FREAK!!!!!" Starfire said.
Person With Many Aliases snarked at the approaching superpowers, before snapping his fingers, "Will! Word! Foundation Character Override! Back up Set up!"
Nearby, the generally unnoticed Foundation members suddenly collapsed. Valentine was the first to awake.
"Mou... Geez, I just had the weirdest dream..."
The others came to shortly as well.
"A most disturbing vision... the Starfire actually joining our ranks...?"
"I think my head's gonna blow..."
"Boss... does nobody love me...? Am I just a supporting character...?"
Their inquiries were cut short when they suddenly were treated to a sort of mentally-dumbing image of some tall freak in a bandanna wailing in high-pitches while the Titans chased him about with sonic beams, gnashing prehistoric teeth, magic, birdarangs, and starbolts.
"HELP ME! I'M JUST A SCV!" Person pleaded as he zipped by his own 'kids'.
Mr. Freeze wasn't exactly about to help him, but the sight of his non-federal local crime-prevention agency bearing down on them in rather tranced state wasn't too reassuring either. Hence, Freeze snapped out his lighter, burning out a thick ice-wall in front of them. It was quickly reinforced by another wall of solid rock summoned by Terra.
Person With Many Aliases slid to a halt near them, seeming no less of breath despite all the running. Insanity had its perks.
"Okay I'm gonna say this in one breath as fast as I can or else the story will have a chance to describe those guys breaking through your wall I've gotta take care of Control Freak over there because he's the cause of this mess and unless you wanna live the rest of your life in a out of character horribly stale story telling and lots of ill grammar you gotta help me keep those guys away while I take care of the boss but you'll have to shout out your attacks because the physics in this story is messed up and if you have any questions on how to do that just follow Valentine's lead-"
"Sweet! I'm in an anime!"
"DON'T INTERUPT ME!"
Too late. The wall shattered at the same point Person screamed his horrified phrase. But as the Titans poured out of the cracked defense, they were already being pushed back by Valentine, who was quickly not figuring things out besides, "I'm in an anime!"
"Dragon Flame!"
Valentine's grimoire, also currently being re-adapted in this chapter to be called "Grimorum Arcanorum", conveniently made itself apparent and proceeded to spit flame that forced the zombified Titans back.
"Everybody! Shout the first thing that comes to your mind as you attack! Trust your heart!" Valentine suggested. Freeze was tempted to say he had lacked presence of such a thing, but decided against it as Devil Hand and Terra joined in.
"Shockwave!"
"Concrete Wave!"
"An attack denoted aloud by Mr. Freeze."
As the Foundation and the Titans clashed, Person cheered unhelpfully, "Excellent guys! I'll take the big boss from here! Hmm... Big Boss..."
Leaving the explosions behind him, Person raced down the streets to meet Control Freak, who smugly awaited him.
"I see you've made it past my loyal fan base by making use of yours... but your powers are not match, against mine! Especially those augmented by the legendary Space Samurai of Warp Trek: The Legend Continues!"
At this, Control Freak swirled about impressively, in his hands a double-bladed laser-sword staff. Person scoffed.
"You dare challenge the powers of my Authorhood? I too, am armed with a sacred device that has been passed down for... actually I'm the first one, right? Never mind! Will! Word! Anti-Everything, Get your Set Up to Stand By and be Ready already!"
Prying the toothpick free of his mouth, the black splinter quickly enlarged until it was a long rod of its own, which Person also flipped about in a hectically impressive series of forms.
"You dare challenge Control Freak!"
"I so dare challenge you!"
"Oh really?"
"Yeah really!"
"Oh really?
"Yeah really!"
"Oh really?
"Yeah really!"
"NO WAY!"
Control Freak and Person With Many Aliases laughed whole heartedly for several second before they sheepishly coughed.
Awkward silence.
"I CHALLENGE YOU TO A HOKEY-MONSTER BATTLE!" Person screamed, finger pointed heroically.
"I ACCEPT!"
"CHOOSE YOUR HOKEY-MAN!"
"I SUMMON THE MOSTLY WHITE DRAGON WITH BLUE CONTACT LENSES!"
The giant, scaly winged beast dropped down from the sky in front of a cackling Control Freak. Person backed away, somewhat shocked by the roaring creature.
"Are you scared, little one! I'll show you whose the greater writer of this story!"
Person sniffed,"Ametur! So you may have a power Hokey-man, but since I am the aggressor and antagonist in your eyes, and since your currently in control of this story, I call the right to summon a more visually impressive and statistically more powerful beast! Koi, SHAGOHAD!"
A semi-bipedal tank smashed into the street before Person, forcing Control Freak to gasp in horror.
"Not the same one!"
Person With Many Aliases laughed atop his vehicle, "The very same! Controlled by the Kuwabara Thunderbolt himself! Armor impenetrable by even an RPG! Only a motorcycle and a bridge can defeat my Hokey-man! Insert malicious laughter HERE!"
Control Freak's fist shook, "I cannot lose here... I will never lose! I must protect my nakama!"
Person frowned, "Do you even know what nakama means?"
"Sure! It's Hindi for burrito!"
"It is?! I never would have guessed!"
"Of course! Compared by my superior intellect, you're nothing but an ordinary man!" Control Freak snickered.
Person raised his hands to the sky prophetically, "What is man? Nothing but a pile of secrets! But enough talk! Have at you!"
"DRAGON! SUPER NUCLEAR FLAME!"
"SHAGOHAD! OBNOXIOUS RAMMING TECHNIQUE!"
The two sacred beasts slammed into each other with full force, igniting a good portion of the city in a rapidly expanding spherical explosion. At the apex, Person and Control Freak flew out of the blast, clashing against each other with their weapon of choice, be it laser sword or Anti-E.
"I shall reclaim my story from you, Control Freak!"
"It is mine, Person!"
"Prove it!"
Control Freak surged forward, "OUR SPEAKERS GO TO ELEVEN!"
Person charged onward, "PNAKOTIC MANUSCRIPTS!"
An explosion of wills. The two crashed back to the earth with mighty craters.
Person rose from the ashes with a jubilant, "I think Al Azif's really hot!"
Control Freak pushed away the rubble, "Al Azif? Pah! Etheldreda is more attractive!"
"Hardly! Her submissive and demure nature is typical and boring!"
"Al Azif's diminutive stature in contrast to her spitfire personality is just as cliche!"
"But... but Al looked really cute with her hair in a ponytail!"
"She's whiny and a drama-queen!"
"And Etheldreda is a characterless sprite-swap! She wasn't even in the show for more than three episodes!"
"She's still better!"
"No she isn't!"
"Etheldreda!"
"Al Azif!"
"Anakin Skywalker!"
"Darth Vader!"
"Konata!"
"Haruhi!"
"Yuna!"
"Rikku!"
"Oboro!"
"Hotarubi!"
"Kratos!"
"Dante!"
"Kirk!"
"Picard!"
As the two continued to screech at each other, several on-lookers peered around the corner.
"What... are they doing?" Terra deadpanned.
Devil Hand shrugged, "I think they're arguing about their favorite characters..."
"My god..." Valentine muttered darkly, "Our fates rest in the hands of two super powered fanboys..."
Ignoring them completely, Person With Many Aliases stepped back indignantly, pointing in irritation as always, "If we can't settle this in a civilized manner... bring out what you dare call a superior mecha!"
The other self-insert snorted, "That's easy! The ultimate parody of all super robots! MEGAS XLR!"
The convertible-headed robot fell out the sky at the summons.
"A worthy adversary, indeed, but can it stand up to Gunbuster-"
"Easily!"
"-Nono?"
"WHAT?!"
True to Person With Many Aliases' words, the summoned was indeed the lithe female robot. Control Freak had no chance.
"BUSTER BEAM! SLIIIIIIIIIICE!"
Quite no chance at all.
As pieces of scrap metal fell about Control Freak, for the sake of increasing the tension, both were panting hard.
Control Freak thought darkly to himself, When we first met, he was just a noob with strong magical powers, but now... he's so different from before. So fast... so strong. If I hesitate now, I'll be beaten!
This firmly sworn into his mind, the current controller of the story gripped his beam weapon with both hands, before chanting.
Person frowned for a second, before he found his limbs being locked into place by circular magic bands.
Valentine gasped, "Lightning bind! This is bad! That muscle-bound freak's gotten really serious!"
Terra looked to the witch in shock, "You can tell?"
"Of course! Who the heck do you think I am?"
Devil Hand shouted toward Person, "Dude! You need any help?"
"DAAAAMMMMMEEEE- Oh gud, I think my voice broke!"
"Hey! Answer me!"
Person sighed, "I'm in the middle of doing something a little heroic here... so just... be quiet or something..."
"Can't say I tried..."
Down the street, Control Freak chanted, "Arcus Cultus Aegeas, heavenly gods who shine over all, descend upon us now as I guide you, Baruel, Zaluel, Browzel... Photon Lancer, Phalanx Shift! FIRE!"
About the man, orbs of crackling (and horribly ripped) electricity hovered, before firing endlessly towards the trapped Author.
Person's words before he was swallowed up by explosions: "This is gonna hurt, right-"
Person was then swallowed up by explosions. As the smoke cleared, Control Freak cheered at the sight of the smoking mess lying all over the ground.
"Ah-ha! This story now belongs to me!"
Waves of despair and Out Of Character washed over the lands, and as Mr. Freeze so aptly put it, "Well, we're totally screwed now."
Amidst Control Freak's triumphant hollers, he heard a whisper.
"Damned hounds..."
"Huh!?"
Person's mouth moved independently of the rest of the comatose body, "Your power is impressive, but... a pack of hounds can't beat me..."
Shadows moved onto Person as he leaned upward onto his feet, "I CANNOT BE KILLED... BY DOGS. That which defeats a monster... is always a man."
Control Freak pointed forth a shaking finger in disbelief, "How-how-how did you survive that!?"
All he got in return was an absent-minded yawn while the Author scratched his head, "I dunno... must have read something good... Still, that last attack must have tired you out... allow me to show you my new special, if only fifty percent original ultimate technique."
Control Freak nervously laughed, "Oh yeah...? I mean, bring it on!"
I am the bone of my sword...
Steel is my body, and fire is my blood...
I have created over a thousand blades...
Unknown to death...Nor known to life...
As power gathered about Person With Many Aliases, his opponent appeared unimpressed, "I've seen that move a hundred times! You can't beat me with such a simple move!"
Have withstood pain to create many weapons...
Yet, those hands will never hold anything...
So as I pray... "Unlimited
The world around Control Freak was suddenly replaced by an expansive and endless cafe. In the distance, Person could be see on a surfboard supported by many, many hands, all belonging to a certain type of people.
"Maids! Rally to me! Short maids! Tall Maids! Old Maids! Sexy Maids! Cosplay Maids! Disgruntled Maids! Full Time Maids! Powerful Maids! Part Time Maids! People who were tricked into dressing as a Maid! Assemble! Unite! Grant me your power to strike down this puny man who dare call himself an Author, or worse, a true fan! Strike! Together at once!"
The once muscle-bound gary-stu self-insert, now just a portly couch potato stripped of his powers, screamed as the fury unmatched by even hell itself, multiplied a thousand-fold, directed itself completely onto the fanboy.
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"I'm sorry! I'm sorry for showboating and stealing this chapter! But it was an emergency!" Person With Many Aliases profusely apologized to the Foundation members, while a tied and gagged Control Freak laid at his feet.
Devil Hand waved off the supplications easily, "Is alright, if you only gonna do this one time. Plus, I dun think I'd like being under the power of a fat guy..."
"Don't worry! Once I leave everything well return back to normal!"
"It better!" Valentine snorted, before muttering to herself, "This is what I get for thinking of watching Lain..."
Terra frowned, and leaned in close to scrutinize Person, who seemed unhappy at the attention.
Finally, "Do I know you from somewhere?"
"Euhhh...Ie! No! We've really... never met!" Person stammered out, looking away rather guitily.
Terra knew that meant something, but she couldn't place her finger on what. At any rate, she wasn't going to find out at this point, "Whatever..."
Freeze lit a cylinder and breathed out easily, "And what is to become of your prisoner?"
Person nudged the rebelling sake of couch potato, "Not sure really... someone wanted to pull a string I heard..."
"A string?"
"Nevermind! I never make any sense! Well, time for you guys to just think of this as a weird dream! Ciao!"
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Robin fell out of his bed. As he got up, he could only scratch his head at what had just transpired.
"Beast Boy better have not put anything in my coffee..."
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A/N: The Author was injured in the making of this chapter.
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Chapter 15: "Nora" - She had red hair and green eyes, but she threatened to cough her soul away. When she asked why he kept looking at her, he said "You are going to become the same as me."