Hi You!

Title: Turkey Day

Rating: T

Disclaimer: don't own anything…

Summary: Thanksgiving gone wrong when the whole crew starts a 'Yo Momma' competition and a food fight.

Read and Enjoy!!!

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Wilson sat next to Julie, Foreman sat next to Wendy, Cameron, Chase, and Cuddy all sat by each other in loneliness, because they weren't in a relationship.

They were waiting for one more person to join their Thanksgiving dinner, and they had set up the conference room very nicely. They had table cloths with pilgrims on it, little pilgrim salt and pepper shakers(who when everyone wasn't looking would spring to life and run across the table(PUBLIX!!!)).

They had dried corn for decoration and streamers on the ceiling, and last but not least steaming plates of food: stuffing, cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes, salmon, dips, crackers, and all sorts of delicious things. But the one thing they were missing was the turkey.

House was in charge of getting the turkey, and House was still not there.

Soon all of the friendly talk had died down and they were all left wondering: Where the hell is House?

While Chase was thinking: Never mind House! I just want Turkey! I wonder if my mascara's smudged…

Suddenly Chase started banging his knife and fork against the table, chanting retardedly "WE WANT FOOD! WE WANT FOOD! Nay…"

The rest all looked at him strangely. Then, still trying to break the silence, Chase insulted Foreman's momma.

"Hey Foreman!!! Yo momma so fat, when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up!!"

Foreman sighed, then retaliated. "Yo momma's so stupid it takes her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes."

Then Wendy jumped in. "Yo momma's like a vacuum: she sucks, she blows, and gets laid in the closet!"

There was snickering throughout the table. Then Wilson jumped in. "Yo momma's so fat, I ran around her twice and got lost."

Then Cuddy joined. "Yo momma's so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!"

Cameron joined. "Yo momma's so fat when she steps on a scale, it read 'one at a time, please'."

Julie reluctantly made a joke. "Yo momma's so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!"

Then Chase tried to make another one, and thought furiously, a screwed up expression on his face. "Yo momma's so hairy…that…uh…she has a lot of….hair." he concluded, folding his arms over his chest.

The rest kind of stared around for a bit then went back to the competition.

"Yo momma's so greasy she sweats Crisco!"

"Yo momma's so hairy you almost died of rug burn at birth!"

"Yo momma's teeth are so yellow, traffic stops when she smiles."

"Yo momma's so ugly she gets 364 days to dress up for Halloween."

"Yo momma's so stupid she sold her car for gas money."

"Yo momma's so clumsy she got tangled up in a cordless phone."

And so on, until finally, they all ran out of things to say.

Then Chase, being the stupid person that he is, decided to make Foreman mad. He flicked peas into Foreman's face.

Foreman calmly stood up, grabbed the bowl of gravy, marched over to Chase and poured the whole thing on his head.

Chase flailed about knocking his drink on Cameron, who knocked her sweet potatoes onto Cuddy's shirt, who accidentally threw her carrots into Julie's shirt, who accidentally smacked Wendy in the face, knocking the whole bowl of cranberry sauce onto Wilson's crotch.

They looked around in rage, then House walked in, and stopped at the chaos spread before him. He was holding a turkey on a platter for them all to share.

"I should never leave the kids for too long…If you're going to throw a wild party then try not to make too much of a mess…" he trailed off when he saw everyone's arms fly back, and suddenly was pelted by all sorts of food. House promptly threw the turkey into Cuddy's face (he had always dreamed of throwing something on her.)

They all stood up, and brushed the food from their clothes.

"Let's just go to the cafeteria." said Cuddy, and the rest followed.

They all sat around a wobbly dirty cafeteria table, drinking soda's and eating a sandwich. They talked and laughed, (Chase was delighted when he found a piece of gum under the table and promptly ate it) and had a wonderful Thanksgiving.